Uninvited guests...

I’m reading all of you, listening, watching... I’m trying to stay strong, picking myself up after every single hit, and then I just wonder: "We've been burned so many times, stabbed in the back over and over and over again... how much more can we take??"

Where does the strength even come from for the next round? How do you find someone new to trust? Is it actually possible to lose your self-esteem this badly? I see it everywhere—amazing people, successful people in every area of their lives, just completely shattered and insecure because of how bad their dating life has been. What do you even say to them? "Come on, chin up, just stay positive"??

The secret is energy. You have to project confidence if you want anyone to notice you or actually succeed in finding a partner. We parrot this advice like mindless drones, but some people actually get it... yet they've been rejected and cheated on so much they're just shadows of who they used to be.

I'm still fighting, still holding on to hope, but I have to say... people I care about (especially my guys) are absolutely drowning right now. 😢

Please, please... spare me the judgment from the "cool" types on here who look down on anyone who’s lost hope or lost their spark... the ones who are down and just want to crawl into a hole and disappear... I'm not even talking about myself, really, just a dear friend and a few girlfriends... thanks, bye, peace... out

Feel free to talk about me too 😢

But I'm making my way back slowly 😎 😁

redtinker2 said:It’s like we’re all just parrots going in circles here, you know? Some people actually get it, but honestly, they've been burned and lied to so many times that they're basically just ghosts of their former selves now.

Goodbye, goodbye to those little clouds—you're gone now, drifting far away over some distant ocean, and man, they never did come back...

Life is just one long grind of endurance...🙂 you’re constantly getting hit with new challenges and there’s really no way to dodge them...😢 I guess the only way to hang on is some kind of raw survival instinct... though it hits some people harder than others...🙂
Pain sucks... no doubt about it... but heartbreak? That hits way harder than anything physical... the fear of getting burned again keeps people paralyzed... which is exactly how you end up spiraling and shutting everyone out...
Once you lose that spark of self-confidence, man, it is an uphill battle to get it back...
But hey, we gotta push through... even a sinking ship is looking for a safe harbor... sometimes it’s right in front of you, sometimes it feels miles away...
Sometimes you navigate your way to safety on your own, and sometimes someone reaches out and pulls you in...🙂
redtinker2, you’re honestly such a good soul for trying to steer these ships toward calmer waters... just trying to help your friends out... I really hope it works for you...🙏
Sending love—you're truly wonderful...😘

just like 😘

really liked what you said 😉

I simply surrendered myself to the tide...

Some people are just born struggling to stay afloat.

I’ve always been a quality over quantity kind of person...
to me, finding that one great love in a lifetime is more than enough, even if it doesn't last forever...
I really feel for those who never get to experience that kind of connection...

Does anyone actually exist who fits that description?

Look, it doesn't always have to be this bleak. We aren't clowns; everyone hits rock bottom eventually. You can't stay in the green forever. Sometimes you take a hit, and you just have to find the lesson in the wreckage.
enough with the setbacks... get back up already!

Kate Kern6 said:Get your head in the game... get back on your feet right now!

And if you actually break your legs during the fall? You’re just lying there on the ground calling for help. But the help never shows up. Instead, people just walk right over you, making everything worse, until one day you've basically become part of the pavement they're walking on.

Alias said:I read everything you all write. I listen, I watch, and I talk to many friends. I try to be brave after every single setback, but then the question hits me: "We have been hurt so many times—stabbed in the back over and over again... how much longer can we endure this??"

Where does one find the strength for new challenges or potential relationships? Who can you trust, and how? Is it possible to lose so much self-confidence (as I see happening around me)? These wonderful, successful people, who excel in every other area of life, simply become so insecure after so many romantic failures. What am I supposed to say to them? "Come on, chin up, you have to stay positive!"

The secret to success lies in your energy. You have to radiate confidence to capture attention and succeed in finding a partner. Like parrots, we repeat these platitudes, but while some understand this, others are so rejected and deceived that they become mere shadows of their former selves.

I am still struggling and fighting. I still have hope, but I must admit that people dear to me—especially my guys—have completely sunk. 😢

Please, please... spare me the condescension from those who act so cool behind their keyboards, judging those who have lost all hope or lost their former spark... those who are currently down and just want to withdraw into themselves entirely. And yes, I am not actually writing about myself, but about a dear friend and a few female friends... thanks, regards, peace... out.

Sorry for quoting so much text..

Listen, you can only move forward if you hold your head high. You know, people just sink into a certain monotony and stop trying. Or, after a breakup, they mourn. But there is NO TIME FOR MOURNING. That’s just it. People fall out of sync and don't even know how to swim, let alone show interest in dating. Maybe they'll look for something casual on the side, but that's about it. I know plenty of people like that. Once a relationship ends and you know it's over, you just have to keep moving!

Brown Acid said:If you actually break your legs in a fall, you're just lying there on the ground begging for help... but nobody comes. They just walk right over you.

But the real question is HOW
and WHO exactly are you looking to for help?

Because if you're lying there with broken legs, some people might just think you're taking a nap and don't need anything.
And others? They see bone sticking out and decide to take the long way around to avoid the mess.

You've gotta figure out a better way to signal for help.

stormycyclist13 said:I’m still fighting the good fight and holding onto hope, but I have to admit—some of my closest friends (especially the guys) have completely hit rock bottom. 😢

I almost started a thread about haunted sailboats once,
and someone actually told me,
"If you're going down, just become a submarine!" 👍
😘
I can't even remember who said it, but man, that really hit home.
Seriously!

Take all that negativity and turn it into fuel.

There's definitely some truth to that whole "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" thing.

Looking back at everything that traumatized me, I can actually laugh about it now.

All those past shipwrecks just made me tougher and better.

Brown Acid said:If you break your legs in a fall, you just lie there on the ground waiting for help. But help never shows up. People just walk right over you, making things worse until you eventually just become part of the pavement they trample on.

Or better yet:
stop waiting for some savior who isn't coming and just deal with it yourself. Why is that such a hard concept? It’s less pathetic than whining, and it gets the job done faster.

Well, how on earth can I express this without sounding completely pathetic?

Nothing much, really—I had actually started asking myself those same difficult questions lately... yet, somehow, I haven't lost my sense of hope just yet... and what else is there to say?
I have fallen in love
And yes, I am absolutely thrilled!

Brilliant move by Goldman Sachs. 🙂

Gaudrath said:Are there even any people like that out there?

Maybe not... but there are plenty of folks who just trade love for anything else that comes their way...

hollowviper72 said:Maybe they don't... but there are plenty of people out there who would trade love for just about anything else in the world...

That’s certainly possible—though, honestly, I’m not sure if anyone truly exists who has never felt love, even if they kept it tucked away deep inside. But hey, what do I know? I shouldn't get too philosophical here; everyone carries their own unique set of life stories and baggage.

I personally consider myself lucky to have the capacity to love deeply and extensively. Like you mentioned, being able to feel that much is actually quite a significant thing to possess.