OCD: General Discussion Thread

brightsailor9 said:But tell me... how do you deal with the reality of seeing a therapist? That’s what really gets to me. It might sound trivial to some, but for people like me—anxious, insecure—a past filled with social blunders makes everything harder. Sometimes it feels like I'm "forbidden" from being myself because I'll just spiral into a depression if you catch my drift... and now I just have one more thing to hide from everyone. That’s the real barrier to therapy for me. You can't say certain things in public because not everyone has good intentions. In my case, I feel like I'd be branded as unstable or unreliable before I knew it... as if that isn't already the status quo. I know I probably sound foolish, but I genuinely want to hear about your experiences. Do you talk about seeing a therapist? To what extent? And how did people react... please... (and I doubt I'm the only one feeling this way 🙂 ..)

-well, if you've got a history with therapists and clinics like I do, you'll get used to it fast. I don't have OCD, but I've dealt with plenty of other stuff. the worst part is definitely that first visit 🙏I was losing my mind, thinking, "how will they look at me? will anyone see me? how am I even supposed to talk to them?" just a ton of stupid stuff weighing me down. now, it's just routine, like grabbing a coffee with an old friend. my therapist and I joke around, we've known each other forever, and we even make fun of ourselves (and yeah, a little gossip too). friends? nothing. I don't hide anything, I just joke about it. once people see you aren't a bad person, they don't have anything to hold against you. besides, nobody's perfect, and everyone's got some secret or some struggle these days.😁
-or like, in a psych ward? ...once you realize how others are doing 😲, man, it's really not the big scary thing it used to be in small towns or out in the Midwest 😁

Quick update: I went through with it today... paid for an hour, and somehow I'm still breathing... actually a pretty decent experience... honestly thought I'd be fighting for my life in there... 😂

brightsailor9 said:Quick update: I went through with it today... paid for an hour, and somehow I'm still breathing... actually a pretty decent experience... honestly thought I'd be fighting for my life in there... 😂

Are you going back? Give me the rundown—what did he tell you about the pills? Did he mention any specific dosage?

So, I was talking to my aunt about trying out some guided meditation sessions. Told her over the phone that I struggle with confidence, have some mild OCD tendencies, and am pretty much a total introvert... just wondering if I’d be a mess during the training. Long story short, she offered to sit down for an hour to talk through my concerns since I was being so hesitant...
Anyway, by the time I actually showed up for the consultation, I was a nervous wreck. Thinking they'd see right through me, feeling like my whole world might collapse or something... pathetic. I buzzed the intercom, heard that loud *bzzzz*, walked into the building, headed up the stairs, found the door wide open, knocked, and stepped inside...
"Good afternoon, I'm just here for the appointment," I said, and she invited me to take a seat. There we were, sitting diagonally from each other in opposite corners of the room. I asked if she had a tissue because I needed to dry my hands—it was pouring rain outside. She just pointed and said there was a box on the table right next to me. I look at the box, then at the psychiatrist, then back at this square tissue box... and I just lost it. Started laughing uncontrollably. She tried to keep a straight face, but even she started cracking up... 😂 God, man...
To wrap it up, it was actually a decent experience. My ego took a bit of a hit twice, but honestly? It was surprisingly relaxing. The biggest win for me was finally breaking through that initial wall of fear...

Right, we didn't settle on the autogenic training sessions. My doctor says she won't put me in this current group yet—wants to do solo sessions starting in September instead... maybe she'll adjust my prescription then.
For now, I'm just sticking to omega-3s and lecithin. I'm doing okay; actually, quite well...😁🤣

brightsailor9 said:Right, we didn't settle on the autogenic training sessions. My doctor says she won't put me in this current group yet—wants to do solo sessions starting in September instead... maybe she'll adjust my prescription then.
For now, I'm just sticking to omega-3s and lecithin. I'm doing okay; actually, quite well...😁🤣

So, what's the plan for when you're out in Chicago? What did you decide? Are you waiting until September to start the training, or are you planning to drop in on the doctor a few times before then?

Dammit, how do you not get it? I’m trying to frame a trip to the psychologist as some kind of self-guided meditation session. "I wasn't seeing a shrink, I was just doing mindfulness"... see what I'm doing here?
I'm heading out in September. God... 😁😉
(The whole thing was about managing the mood on that British guy, honestly 😁)

Patrick Hernandez27 said:
This has been haunting me for years. My first obsessions and compulsions started when I was only five. It was this overwhelming thought that I had to put my hand in my mouth and push as deep as possible... because I felt this strange sense of guilt. That eventually stopped, only to resurface during puberty as extreme obsessive ideations—this time without the physical compulsions.

Basically, I’ll hear a song and it just loops in my head all day long. I can't shake it. Or I'll see a flower and the image stays stuck in my mind, paralyzing me. I started treatment again recently, though, and the symptoms have subsided. I can honestly say I don't struggle with it anymore today.

I actually had the most extreme version of OCD imaginable... looking back now, I honestly don't know how I survived it all.

Could you be more specific about the treatment? Was it psychotherapy, medication, or something else entirely?

It’s wonderful that you were able to fully overcome it—congratulations!

brightsailor9 said:Dammit, how do you not get it? I’m trying to frame a trip to the psychologist as some kind of self-guided meditation session. "I wasn't seeing a shrink, I was just doing mindfulness"... see what I'm doing here?
I'm heading out in September. God... 😁😉
(The whole thing was about managing the mood on that British guy, honestly 😁)

A Brit? Now you're acting like you grew up in a fancy suburb of Chicago where everyone knows everyone and can read you like a book. 😲 But seriously, what's the actual fallout if someone finds out? It would be a disaster; people would make it their entire personality to gossip about how you're seeing a psychiatrist for some relatively common, mid-level disorder. 😂 Actually, wait—maybe that’s the play. You mention being British so they think you're from some upscale neighborhood, when in reality, you're just making it up or trying to sound more sophisticated than you actually are. 😂
🙂

Roger Morgan4 said:Could you be more specific about the treatment? Was it psychotherapy, medication, or something else entirely?

It’s wonderful that you were able to fully overcome it—congratulations!

That’s just how I’d put it...

I’m not trying to diminish anyone else’s pain, I really am. But I lived through the most extreme version of OCD imaginable. It wasn't just those occasional waves of obsession that hit you and then eventually subside... For me, it was just life. Every single day. Honestly, I don't even know how I made it through all of that. Someone in my shoes would have given up on life a long time ago...

Psychotherapy helped me out, more or less... I was on this medication called Fever, and honestly, it took about six months before I even started noticing a difference. I ended up staying on it for several years, taking it every single day without fail. About a year ago, I finally decided enough was enough. It was getting in the way of my studies and just interfering with my life in general, so I made the call to stop on my own... I went through a bit of a rough patch at first, dealing with those chemical dependency withdrawals, but after four months, I was finally clear of it for good.

It’s been exactly one year since that whole ordeal... and I haven't had a single symptom since.

I’d argue that what really matters here is willpower. Every obsession draws its strength from fear—fear being the ultimate killer. Once you manage to destroy that fear, you've achieved a massive victory...

I went through various tests and evaluations, and they didn't find any personality disorders or anything else that would explain it. For me, this manifested in its purest form. My IQ scores actually came back quite high, except for the spatial intelligence portion where I struggled significantly. Abstract reasoning seemed to be my strongest suit, if I recall correctly. I'm not sure if there's a connection here, but I thought I'd mention it...

A lot of people I've met who deal with this are incredibly intelligent. In my case, it was especially frustrating because it felt like it was throttling my mental potential and my intellect. Once I finally broke through it, I started picking up languages much faster—now I'm fluent in nearly three—and I even participated in several competitions and such.

I think there’s a real distinction between OCD triggered by how you perceive the world due to your upbringing, and the kind caused by actual brain chemistry. I truly believe mine is the latter...

Could someone please explain that famous role serotonin plays in this whole situation?

David Nelson74 said:A Brit? Now you're acting like you grew up in a fancy suburb of Chicago where everyone knows everyone and can read you like a book. 😲 But seriously, what's the actual fallout if someone finds out? It would be a disaster; people would make it their entire personality to gossip about how you're seeing a psychiatrist for some relatively common, mid-level disorder. 😂 Actually, wait—maybe that’s the play. You mention being British so they think you're from some upscale neighborhood, when in reality, you're just making it up or trying to sound more sophisticated than you actually are. 😂
🙂

We totally missed the point. My bad. That post was meant to be self-deprecating, aimed solely at myself. I see now how it came across as ambiguous. Sorry. It was an honest, perhaps overly blunt, mockery of my own logic. I was just in a certain headspace, coming from a rougher part of the city... read through my previous posts again with this new context and tell me what you think. Please... :-(
Hey, boktevidel, there's no need to come after me. I can see you're just trying to help everyone out where you can. Cheers...

brightsailor9 said:We totally missed the point. My bad. That post was meant to be self-deprecating, aimed solely at myself. I see now how it came across as ambiguous. Sorry. It was an honest, perhaps overly blunt, mockery of my own logic. I was just in a certain headspace, coming from a rougher part of the city... read through my previous posts again with this new context and tell me what you think. Please... :-(
Hey, boktevidel, there's no need to come after me. I can see you're just trying to help everyone out where you can. Cheers...

The reason we missed it is because text is inherently two-dimensional; it lacks that >2D depth where tone of voice lives.😁 If I’d said this face-to-face, it would have been obvious I was being sarcastic. I was trying to point out how many people are actually ASHAMED to visit a therapist, choosing to live with a disorder rather than seek help just because they're terrified of what the neighbors might think...

Random question—do you listen to Iggy Pop? Asking because of the username, specifically that "Passenger" track.🙂

Patrick Hernandez27 said:That’s just how I’d put it...

I’m not trying to diminish anyone else’s pain, I really am. But I lived through the most extreme version of OCD imaginable. It wasn't just those occasional waves of obsession that hit you and then eventually subside... For me, it was just life. Every single day. Honestly, I don't even know how I made it through all of that. Someone in my shoes would have given up on life a long time ago...

Psychotherapy helped me out, more or less... I was on this medication called Fever, and honestly, it took about six months before I even started noticing a difference. I ended up staying on it for several years, taking it every single day without fail. About a year ago, I finally decided enough was enough. It was getting in the way of my studies and just interfering with my life in general, so I made the call to stop on my own... I went through a bit of a rough patch at first, dealing with those chemical dependency withdrawals, but after four months, I was finally clear of it for good.

It’s been exactly one year since that whole ordeal... and I haven't had a single symptom since.

I’d argue that what really matters here is willpower. Every obsession draws its strength from fear—fear being the ultimate killer. Once you manage to destroy that fear, you've achieved a massive victory...

Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think it's helpful to claim your OCD was the most extreme. Most of us deal with this on a daily basis. For instance, what makes things particularly difficult for me is how closely tied my struggles are to religion and faith. I won't go into detail, but it hits me hardest in that area. Ultimately, arguing over who has it worse is a pointless exercise.

As for Fever, I used it for over six months and found it completely ineffective. In fact, if I'm being honest, I think it had a negative impact on me. I'm not sure if you've heard, but some studies suggest that SSRIs—the class of drugs Fever belongs to—can actually increase suicidal ideation. But I won't dwell on that; psychiatrists tend to dismiss those findings, and there were other complicating factors for me regardless.

You might be right about the fear aspect. But I can't help feeling terrified of whether the symptoms will resurface or not. It would be "unnatural" if I didn't feel that anxiety. What more can I say? I feel utterly discouraged regarding my future treatment; I've lost my drive and my hope that things will ever truly be okay. I've almost accepted that this is a chronic condition that can't be cured, but I simply don't know how to live with that realization. I can only hope my psychiatrist has something positive to tell me, though I have my doubts. Anyway, I'll stop venting now. Cheers, and once again, I am genuinely glad that at least one person has found their way to recovery.

David Nelson74 said:The reason we missed it is because text is inherently two-dimensional; it lacks that >2D depth where tone of voice lives.😁 If I’d said this face-to-face, it would have been obvious I was being sarcastic. I was trying to point out how many people are actually ASHAMED to visit a therapist, choosing to live with a disorder rather than seek help just because they're terrified of what the neighbors might think...

Random question—do you listen to Iggy Pop? Asking because of the username, specifically that "Passenger" track.🙂

exactly. everything has its pros and cons. the downside of forum threads is the lack of non-verbal cues, so words can be misinterpreted in ten different ways. as long as there's mutual goodwill, things get cleared up. (and I write my posts honestly because that matters to ME, you know?)
as for the username, you know how an OCD brain works 😁.. obsessing for hours, overthinking, complicating everything... until one moment I just stopped and picked the first thing that popped into my head😁. 'I know there's a song like that by someone, but I have no clue who.' If I had to pick a label, I'd say I'm a rocker, but honestly, I couldn't care less about cliques or labels. I haven't even played a CD in probably 15 years. mostly just watching TV or surfing the web...
thanks again for being willing to settle this dispute. it's always easier to just argue and tell everyone to go to hell. I'll try to be more precise next time, or maybe use more emojis🙄 😁😁 bye David Nelson74
if there are any changes regarding seeing a psychiatrist, I'll let you know. right now I'm thinking about going through social services to get to the VA, but the thought of having it on my medical record with my primary doctor sucks... we'll see. I'm torn between $233 for the convenience, and the shame of asking for a referral to a specialist. it'll take time..😂 😁

Patrick Hernandez27 said:That’s just how I’d put it...

I’m not trying to diminish anyone else’s pain, I really am. But I lived through the most extreme version of OCD imaginable. It wasn't just those occasional waves of obsession that hit you and then eventually subside... For me, it was just life. Every single day. Honestly, I don't even know how I made it through all of that. Someone in my shoes would have given up on life a long time ago...

Psychotherapy helped me out, more or less... I was on this medication called Fever, and honestly, it took about six months before I even started noticing a difference. I ended up staying on it for several years, taking it every single day without fail. About a year ago, I finally decided enough was enough. It was getting in the way of my studies and just interfering with my life in general, so I made the call to stop on my own... I went through a bit of a rough patch at first, dealing with those chemical dependency withdrawals, but after four months, I was finally clear of it for good.

It’s been exactly one year since that whole ordeal... and I haven't had a single symptom since.

I’d argue that what really matters here is willpower. Every obsession draws its strength from fear—fear being the ultimate killer. Once you manage to destroy that fear, you've achieved a massive victory...

I find myself in agreement with this perspective.👍

When dealing with OCD, courage is absolutely paramount. In fact, resisting the urge to give in requires a level of strength—or perhaps a touch of madness—that feels just as daunting as staring down the edge of a skyscraper.
In your own internal reality, the perceived danger is just as terrifying whether you are considering jumping from a building or simply refusing to perform a compulsion for the thousandth time.
Personally, I find that channeling anger helps me get through it.
Or I lean on a specific thought experiment: I can choose a life defined by these millions of repetitive cycles, or I can take a risk. If I take that risk, the thing I dread might actually happen. And if it does? Well, then it's over.😁 (And quite frankly, non-existence sounds far more appealing than a life spent trapped in those horrific, fear-driven loops).
One can overcome OCD if they are strong enough, or perhaps desperate enough, to confront their own mortality. When you truly accept the possibility of death, it becomes an ace up your sleeve—something you can play whenever these intrusive thoughts try to mess with you.

By the way, samonesto... what kind of struggles are you facing, if you feel comfortable sharing?
Regarding what you mentioned about religion...
If you're able to talk about it... I remember during my darkest periods, I didn't even allow myself to write about these things. My goodness, we really are quite the group of eccentrics, aren't we?😁

Patrick Hernandez27 said:I went through various tests and evaluations, and they didn't find any personality disorders or anything else that would explain it. For me, this manifested in its purest form. My IQ scores actually came back quite high, except for the spatial intelligence portion where I struggled significantly. Abstract reasoning seemed to be my strongest suit, if I recall correctly. I'm not sure if there's a connection here, but I thought I'd mention it...

A lot of people I've met who deal with this are incredibly intelligent. In my case, it was especially frustrating because it felt like it was throttling my mental potential and my intellect. Once I finally broke through it, I started picking up languages much faster—now I'm fluent in nearly three—and I even participated in several competitions and such.

I think there’s a real distinction between OCD triggered by how you perceive the world due to your upbringing, and the kind caused by actual brain chemistry. I truly believe mine is the latter...

Could someone please explain that famous role serotonin plays in this whole situation?

I’ve had quite the opposite experience; it feels like my intelligence checked out right along with my libido. 🤣
And what kind of analyses was I even capable of performing back then? 😍
It seems the same pattern is repeating itself across all the competitions.
I find myself grappling with a rather persistent intellectual hurdle lately: those fundamental syllogisms. They seem to pose a more significant challenge to my reasoning than I initially anticipated. 😁

Could someone please clarify the actual role that serotonin plays in this entire situation?

I have been pondering whether serotonin might actually act as a buffer against OCD by inducing a sense of happiness, security, and inner peace. If such a state of fulfillment is achieved—is that not exactly what leads to a significant drop in anxiety?
I find myself constantly reflecting on the bidirectional relationship between our biology and our mindset. It is my firm belief that just as brain chemistry dictates our thoughts and emotions, those very thoughts and emotions, in turn, possess the power to reshape our underlying chemistry. This feedback loop is precisely why I believe in the profound efficacy of psychotherapy; if we can influence the mind, we can ultimately influence the biological self.

Have you ever considered exploring psychotherapy?

I mean, yeah, I did, but it was always pretty limited in scope. At the end of the day, I’m the one who has to deal with the fallout alone...

I saw someone mentioning that Fever and that specific class of drugs might trigger suicidal thoughts? Well, speaking from my own experience, I can tell you that just isn't true. It never even crossed my mind, not even back then...

Someone was asking about the role of serotonin... and how medication fits into the picture...

Serotonin acts as a neurotransmitter—essentially the chemical messenger that facilitates synaptic transmission, allowing impulses to jump between two nerve cells. It’s widely understood that for individuals living with OCD, certain intrusive thoughts can get stuck in a literal loop, causing a sort of mental overheating (much like an engine running too hot in a broken car). This is where medication comes in; by inhibiting serotonin, these drugs help regulate its ability to transmit impulses in specific areas of the brain. This effectively breaks that cycle, preventing those unwanted thoughts and obsessions from looping back around endlessly.