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To have or to be?

Started by Bradley Fisher20 · · 👁 7 views · 63 replies

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Participants Bradley Fisher20Eric Wells3Keith Phillips3mistyfox812Jack Harris3Kenneth Ward8Ashley Ramirez41Harold James9Raymond Ortiz4steelcanyon2Kyle Cox5Taylor Alvarez6Kate Lee12stormylynx14Steven Phillips5coastaltiger25Sam Martinez9Scott Ward48Austin Smith4Jerry Robinson56Joseph Murphy10
Steven Phillips5 Steven Phillips5 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Sep 2004
#41 ·
mistyfox812 said:It’s an unfortunate collision—democratic principles clashing with capitalist ones. Democracy claims equality: everyone is equal. The good man equals the bad, the beautiful equals the ugly, the generous equals the cheap, the genius equals the mediocre, and the intellectual equals the guy who just wants to grab a beer.
By virtue of being human, we are all equal. That is the democratic ideal.
Capitalism, however, insists everything can be measured by a dollar sign. If one person is driven while another just wants to drink beer, their bank accounts will reflect that. If one is stunning and the other isn't, that shows up in the balance too. Every qualitative trait gets flattened into a mere quantity. More or less money.
By virtue of what we own, we are certainly not equal.

Of course, this whole framework is flawed. People aren't equal in their virtues or vices, nor can the vast spectrum of human character ever truly be distilled into a number—into wealth.


this is such nonsense..
what "democratic principle" or "capitalist principle"..
just because the media pumps out images of anorexic "models" doesn't mean they're any more attractive than some girl from your office or neighborhood—and the fact that those models have bigger bank accounts is just a symptom of our warped value system..
the guy doing nothing but drinking beer isn't doing it because he loves it—it's likely because he hasn't been given the chance to do work that actually fits his skills and pays him fairly... meanwhile, that hyper-ambitious type who is "worth more" is just as stuck as the guy drinking beer.
the generous person and the miser are both products of similar circumstances..
what principles are you even talking about?? If I'm forced to live by imposed rules and only feel "important"—when really I'm only "someone" if I own a mansion in Greenwich and a brand new BMW..
on the flip side, if I'm perfectly happy living in a tiny apartment with someone I love, doing work I enjoy for modest pay that's enough for me.. then apparently "I'm not"??
democratic principles and capitalist principles?? you've got your wires crossed..
Taylor Alvarez6 Taylor Alvarez6 Member
16 messages
joined Nov 2007
#42 ·
Oedipus is out here playing with smoke and mirrors:

What kind of names are you throwing around in a philosophy thread? You’d think someone would actually give you some credit... this is just pure nonsense. You've got your wires completely crossed here.

😵 😱 🙂 😕
Oedipus... honestly, it's like talking to a toddler. After wading through your "philosophical" ramblings about being and existence, I am officially convinced: you don't have a single philosophical clue. Given your total lack of intellectual credibility, your balance is sitting at absolute zero.

🙄
mistyfox812 mistyfox812 Regular
295 messages
joined Mar 2004
#43 ·
Steven Phillips5 said:Man, you're throwing around all these big philosophy names... honestly, it makes it harder to take you seriously..

Look, I'm just reading stuff and trying to make sense of it. If you think you've got a better handle on this, please, set me straight.
Steven Phillips5 said:The idea that some fanatic would kill 200 kids in the name of God, or someone would strap on a suicide vest for some "Higher Truth" we pathetic people can't grasp—or even an ultra-nationalist giving his life for the flag, or some kid killing himself over heartbreak... none of that actually contradicts those basic survival needs..

But I totally disagree. It *is* a contradiction. It proves that humans don't just ignore secondary needs for primary ones—we actively put them aside. And it’s not just extremists doing this; regular people do it constantly, every single day.
That whole equation of "first fill your stomach and satisfy your urges, then worry about the rest" gets debunked by millions of cases every day. That logic is just fundamentally broken.
It's not just about dying for an ideal, either; it's about living for one. It's super obvious: tons of people fast every day for some cause—whether it's religious fasting to feel closer to God or just starving themselves to hit some model's body standards. If a full stomach was truly the primary driver, none of that would ever happen.
mistyfox812 mistyfox812 Regular
295 messages
joined Mar 2004
#44 ·
Steven Phillips5 said:Honestly, this is just nonsense..
What even is "democratic principle" or "capitalist principle" here? Like..
Just because the media pumps out photos of these anorexic "supermodels" doesn't mean they're any prettier than some girl at your office or in your neighborhood. And sure, those models have massive bank accounts, but that’s just a symptom of how broken our values are..
Take the guy who does nothing all day and just drinks Budweiser—he isn't doing it because he loves it. He’s stuck like that because he hasn't been given a chance to do something that actually fits his skills and pays him a decent wage... meanwhile, that hyper-ambitious overachiever who "contributes more"? He's just as screwed as the guy drinking beer.
And whether someone is being generous or stingy, they're both acting out of similar underlying reasons..
What principles are you even talking about?? If I'm living by these rules forced on us just to feel "important"—which really just means owning a mansion in the Hamptons and a brand new BMW—then fine..
But look, if I'm totally happy living in a tiny apartment with someone I love, doing stuff I enjoy for a little bit of money that’s enough for me... then apparently I "don't count"??
Capitalism? Democracy? You're mixing up your metaphors here..

Oedipus, are you even sure you know what the word 'interest' means? Because you're definitely not gonna convince me that all women are equally beautiful, or all songs are equally good, or that all human actions are equally noble. Not in this lifetime.
Steven Phillips5 Steven Phillips5 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Sep 2004
#45 ·
mistyfox812 said:Look, I’m reading through some stuff—actually making sense of it, for once. If you have a better handle on this than I do, feel free to correct me.

My apologies—mea culpa. I acted a bit too impulsively again, much like my previous outburst regarding immortality... I clearly need to work on that. 😉

But there's a contradiction right there. It proves that people don't just prioritize "secondary" needs over primary ones—they do it constantly, every single day. Not just those fanatics mentioned, either—it’s a universal habit.

I included "extreme" as an example—though honestly, it wasn't even necessary—since they aren't really the point. What matters is exactly what you pointed out... we deal with this stuff every single day. It’s the truth.
It’s hardly a contradiction when you consider our core objectives—one really ought to ask why we are even doing this in the first place. It isn't enough to just observe a daily pattern and conclude that because it happens, it is somehow permanent or set in stone—God help us. What you and I both see and know doesn't actually prove the existence of that contradiction.
We live in a society—and I’m not just talking about our current brand of capitalism, though this feels like its absolute peak. Then again, Marx thought he had reached the final stage a century ago... so maybe I'm off base here. 😉It shapes our needs—creates them, actually—and imposes them upon us, whether subtly or not, until we genuinely believe they are our own. We convince ourselves we truly desire exactly what we’re being told to want... and if we believe it, then technically, we do. But that isn't what we *actually* want. Not really.
People will always trade freedom for security—not necessarily the right to be locked up, but the liberty to speak, to think, and to act without consequence. Most of us don't have anything truly subversive or revolutionary to say anyway; we aren't out here challenging the status quo or risking everything. It’s exactly what you’re getting at—once your stomach is full, everything else becomes secondary.
Everyone keeps preaching about how much they value freedom—it’s all quite tiresome. What kind of freedom are we actually talking about here? Most people just want a safety net—financial security, a steady paycheck—and only once that cushion is in place do they feel they have the luxury to sit around and "philosophize" about liberty.
And that’s just how it is—it's perfectly normal, even natural... but only because society was designed this way to begin with.
And why even bother asking people what they want? If you did, 95% would just say millions of dollars—for what, exactly? To buy this or that, a flashy car, a yacht, some massive mansion... blah, blah, blah. Does that man actually become happy? Satisfied? Truthfully, others might "appreciate" him or envy him—but that won't be what makes him happy.
The guy drinking beer does it because he’s restless—plain and simple. That hyper-ambitious type isn't happy either; the only difference is one has the cash and the other doesn't. But even the guy with the beer has his passions—maybe fixing up old Mustangs, drawing comics, whatever—it's just that his passion won't put food on the table or provide for his family. So, he's stuck. Meanwhile, look at the high-powered attorney working 15-hour days—sure, he's loaded, but what does he actually have left of a life?
Even an academic needs someone to fix their car—just like a machinist might occasionally need a lawyer. In that sense, they’re equals. It all comes down to interests—one person spends their time sewing while reading Dostoevsky, while another messes around with electric motors or whatever else, though I haven't the slightest clue what that entails.
If you ask either of them—and I mean really ask—about what constitutes a "happy moment," they’d probably point to time spent with family, friends, or some hobby they actually enjoy. It wouldn't be about grabbing a beer or obsessing over endless litigation in court—that’s my own baggage, I suppose. Things would look entirely different if we lived in a world where an attorney didn't have to grind 15-hour days just to stay relevant. If a decent job paid enough to actually cover the bills—without that toxic pressure to equate net worth with human value—life might actually be livable.
External pressure shapes our outward appearance—it defines how we present ourselves to the world—but those aren't our actual core needs. So, there’s no contradiction there.
Steven Phillips5 Steven Phillips5 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Sep 2004
#46 ·
nobody says anything at all:
You aren't going to convince me—not in this lifetime—that every woman is equally beautiful, every song is equally lovely, or that every human action is equally noble.

I also tend to believe that every malicious or harmful act stems from some underlying cause—unconscious grief, despair, or dissatisfaction. Just as good deeds surface when those things are absent... it doesn't mean the person is inherently "evil"—it just means they are unhappy and need help.
and btw beauty 🙂 I watched Bertolucci's Stealing Beauty last night—Liv Tyler is STUNNING. Absolutely breathtaking. I’m not trying to claim we’re all equally beautiful or intelligent, blah, blah... I'm saying that while she's gorgeous, what does that actually change? She’s a woman just like anyone else—she has a career, her own needs, and her own desires, just like the rest of us who don't look like her. Her beauty might be pleasing to the eye, but that's it. It doesn't make her more or less than us. To be happy, she needs the same basic things we all do, regardless of her looks.
It's the same thing as comparing a brilliant scientist to an auto mechanic. They have different predispositions and interests, sure—but fundamentally, we want the same things and are driven by similar joys.
And the fact that an astrophysicist or a stunning actress will pull in millions while an auto mechanic and I struggle to get by? Tell me—is that about primary human needs, or is it something else entirely?
Steven Phillips5 Steven Phillips5 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Sep 2004
#47 ·
off topic
mistyfox812
I doubt you’ve actually read it—but give it another shot... it’ll only take you an afternoon or so...

*Escape from Freedom* is a must-read, too.

So, if you're feeling up to it,
hello everyone—welcome to a study of human destructiveness.

And if you're truly feeling inspired... just dive into the whole collection. 😉
mistyfox812 mistyfox812 Regular
295 messages
joined Mar 2004
#48 ·
Look, Steven Phillips5, we’re actually on the same page here.
I never once said I was backing "sick ambition." Seriously, I totally agree with you—everyone’s got different goals in life. And honestly? That’s fine. Someone wants to build a family, someone wants to reach God, someone wants to run the country, someone just wants to vibe and enjoy the moment, someone wants to write poetry, or maybe someone just wants to let go of all desire altogether... It’s all valid, as long as you’re following *your* own drive, not some bullshit path someone else shoved down your throat. And as long as you aren't stepping on anyone else's toes.
What I can't get behind is this idea: "everyone basically just wants a full stomach and sex, and everything else is just an illusion people use to mask their REAL (or 'primary') needs."
That's just wrong. To me, that feels like someone trying to force their will on me.
Thanks for the book recs, by the way! I’ll toss one back at you since it's a quick read: check out Rilke's Letters to a Young Poet. Then tell me poetry wasn't his PRIMARY need. That guy literally couldn't breathe without writing. For him, that was more essential than anything else.
I know plenty of people who, when they’re blocked from what is truly a PRIMARY NEED (for me, things like love, freedom, or artistic expression...), just completely lose their spark for life. They don't go out in some big dramatic blaze of glory; they just lose the will to even fight. Those so-called "primary needs" (food, sex, whatever...) just don't hold any weight for them anymore.
Sure, for most people, food and sex might feel more urgent than freedom or love—but that isn't true for everyone. And it doesn't mean the minority who value love and liberty over a meal and a hookup are just kidding themselves.
Same goes for your professor—he's either wrong, or maybe he (or you) didn't phrase it quite right. Most people will pick security over freedom. But saying "man will choose..." implies it happens every single time, or "normally, man chooses..." which isn't the case. Throughout history, tons of people have chosen shaky freedom over total security.
People are different. What matters to one person won't matter to another. We should be free to choose.
And even with that freedom of choice: I doubt you could find a friend who spends every waking hour drinking beer and watching TV, with nothing in life but hitting a parlay on a sports bet... without feeling like they're totally wasting their potential.

About Liv, she really is stunning, as far as you can tell through a screen (you know how a photo can be a bit misleading). That's exactly my point—her beauty is something exceptional in its own right. There could be another woman who hasn't made millions off her looks who is just as beautiful.
So what? Is Liv somehow "prettier" because she’s loaded?
That's what I'm talking about: people aren't all equal (that's the mistake in what I—maybe clumsily—called the "democratic principle").
And you can't boil every human difference down to just a dollar amount (that's the flaw in my "capitalist principle" comment). Some things just can't be quantified. There’s a kind of feminine beauty that money can't touch—maybe it can only be captured in a poem.
Steven Phillips5 Steven Phillips5 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Sep 2004
#49 ·
Quincy:
nobody says anything:
Look, Steven Phillips5, we actually agree on everything here.
it seems to me 🙂
but 😉

Quincy:
It's true that for most people, food and sex take priority over freedom or love—but that doesn't apply to everyone.
look, food is the most basic need for anyone... someone who chooses anything else over food—whether it's freedom or whatever—is just a fanatic who's going to die for an Idea without eating...
sex is a different story, but that's not the topic at hand...
but the primary needs I was talking about aren't food and sex... as I said, sex is its own thing, and food doesn't even fit the category because it's just the means by which we survive... I was talking about the needs that make a person happy and fulfilled...
so I completely agree that writing was Rilke's primary need... that's my point... but you're saying

Quincy:
That need of his is more primary than all others.
it isn't more primary than food, because if he didn't eat, he wouldn't be able to write...

Quincy:
Your professor is also wrong (or perhaps—he or you—didn't express himself precisely enough). Most people will choose security over freedom. But it's not 'man will choose...', which would imply all people always, or even 'normally man would...' That isn't true—many people throughout history have chosen precarious freedom over security.
exactly... I was the one—not the prof 😉—who misspoke... most people, not all... I thought it was obvious from my post that I wasn't referring to every single person...

Quincy:
What I don't like is this thesis: 'everyone actually just wants a full stomach and sexual satisfaction; everything else is an illusion people create to obscure their TRUE (or "primary") needs.'
most people want security and a full stomach given the state we're in... and it's an illusion to suggest that other human needs are illusions besides food and sex😉

Quincy:
People are different. Some find one thing more important, others something else.
Quincy:
not everyone is created equal
I think I misspoke—or maybe I was just unclear..
obviously people aren't identical--we're all different, and there isn't a single pair of identical humans out there.. that's where the beauty lies🙂 .. but we are all equally valuable and entitled to rights /meaning we should be.. personally, I believe we are/
someone incredibly attractive or brilliant has certain advantages and raw potential.. someone else doesn't.. yet someone else has potential for an entirely different path.. what I'm trying to get at is that nobody should receive special treatment or higher pay today simply because of those innate traits /beauty or intellect or whatever../.. that's my point

Quincy:
I don't think you could look at a friend who spends his entire life just drinking beer and watching TV, with his only ambition being hitting a parlay at the sportsbook... without feeling like he's wasting his human potential.
Of course he is wasting it.. but he isn't wasting it because he loves it or because it fulfills him—it's his way of being happy... he's unhappy for some reason, and this is simply how he deals with that dissatisfaction..
Steven Phillips5 Steven Phillips5 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Sep 2004
#50 ·
Steven Phillips5 said:Most people just want stability and a full stomach given how things are right now—it’s an illusion to think any human need matters beyond food and physical intimacy 😉

What I'm actually getting at is this... if we could ensure everyone felt economically secure and well-fed, our creativity and potential would be completely unleashed. Just imagine the possibilities
I'm not some utopian dreamer 😎 or naive—this isn't even an unrealistic scenario
mistyfox812 mistyfox812 Regular
295 messages
joined Mar 2004
#51 ·
edipa maas said:Basically, what I'm getting at is... if we could just make sure everyone feels /economically/ secure and actually full... then human creativity and imagination—all our potential—would finally be unchained and free. Just imagine how incredible things would be..
I'm not being some kind of utopian 😎 or naive here.. this isn't even an unrealistic scenario..

Honestly? I'm not buying it. Most people who have every reason to feel financially secure don't suddenly start unlocking their creative genius. For all we know, they’d rather just snort cocaine.
People are just greedy and insecure by nature, and it’s not just about money. No economic system is ever going to fix that deep-seated human hunger or that constant feeling of inadequacy. (Marxism is totally missing the mark on this one.)
Love and actual creative work? Now *that* can change things.
Steven Phillips5 Steven Phillips5 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Sep 2004
#52 ·
nobody says anything:
It’s highly questionable—most people who actually have enough financial stability to feel secure don't suddenly unlock some grand creative potential. Usually, they just end up snorting cocaine instead..

😬 true enough.. that's the reality today..
though there are reasons for it—explanations, if you will..

People are insatiable and insecure—and it isn't just because of economic hardship. No economy can fix the fundamental human hunger and anxiety. (Marxism misses the mark entirely here.)

The failure of Marxism was simply the assumption that once you abolished private property and implemented socialized management, everything would be perfect—that people would finally unleash their potential and life would be great... the idea was that changing the system would change the people themselves... which was completely wrong..
I am not trying to suggest that..
I don't think handing everyone material security solves everything..
but that's drifting away from the point..
coastaltiger25 coastaltiger25 Newcomer
5 messages
joined Dec 2020
#53 ·
mistyfox812 said:It’s basically this messy collision between democratic ideals and pure capitalism. Democracy tells us everyone is equal, right? Like, the good guy is just as important as the jerk, the gorgeous person is equal to the ugly one, the philanthropist is on par with the cheapskate, the genius is level with the average Joe, and the intellectual is treated the same as the guy who just wants to grab a Bud Light and chill.
Because of who we are as humans, we’re all equal. That’s the whole democratic promise.
But then capitalism steps in and says everything can be boiled down to a dollar sign. So, if one person is out there chasing knowledge while another is just focused on drinking beer, that’s gonna show up in their bank accounts. If someone is stunning and someone else isn't, yeah, that hits the bottom line too. Every single human quality gets flattened into a number. It just becomes more or less cash.
When it comes to what we own, we definitely aren't equals.

And honestly? It’s all totally broken. People aren't actually "equal" when you look at their flaws or their strengths, and you can't take the crazy spectrum of human personality and turn it into a spreadsheet or some net worth.

Exactly. It’s what dragged us away from that old communist utopia and shoved us straight into today's capitalist dystopia. We went from this imagined world where everything was supposedly great for everyone, to a world where things are great for a tiny handful of elites—the ruling class—while the rest of the population just struggles to get by.
Sam Martinez9 Sam Martinez9 Regular
361 messages
joined Jan 2021
#54 ·
coastaltiger25 said:Exactly. It’s what dragged us away from that old communist utopia and shoved us straight into today's capitalist dystopia. We went from this imagined world where everything was supposedly great for everyone, to a world where things are great for a tiny handful of elites—the ruling class—while the rest of the population just struggles to get by.

It isn't really about a "ruling class" in the political sense, but rather an economic one. However, sticking to the spirit of the thread's title—to have versus to be—it's clear they merely possess; they don't truly exist.
coastaltiger25 coastaltiger25 Newcomer
5 messages
joined Dec 2020
#55 ·
Sam Martinez9 said:It isn't really about a "ruling class" in the political sense, but rather an economic one. However, sticking to the spirit of the thread's title—to have versus to be—it's clear they merely possess; they don't truly exist.

That brings us right back to the ruling class. Whoever controls the money—or holds the purse strings—is effectively running the show, whether they’re doing it through official policy or just behind the scenes via corruption.
As for "being"—achieving that sense of self-actualization and fulfillment—that's a much deeper rabbit hole. It depends entirely on who you ask.
Sam Martinez9 Sam Martinez9 Regular
361 messages
joined Jan 2021
#56 ·
coastaltiger25 said:That brings us right back to the ruling class. Whoever controls the money—or holds the purse strings—is effectively running the show, whether they’re doing it through official policy or just behind the scenes via corruption.
As for "being"—achieving that sense of self-actualization and fulfillment—that's a much deeper rabbit hole. It depends entirely on who you ask.

Are you saying you wouldn't mind if people were incredibly wealthy, provided they had zero political influence, leaving all the power strictly in the hands of the working class?

Of course, everything is interconnected and we could go in circles on this forever. However, if we really want to parse out the *having versus being* dilemma, the core question should probably be: to what extent does the pursuit of wealth prevent someone from truly existing? Or, conversely, how much capital does one actually need to accumulate before they can finally afford to just *be*?
coastaltiger25 coastaltiger25 Newcomer
5 messages
joined Dec 2020
#57 ·
Sam Martinez9 said:Are you saying you wouldn't mind if people were incredibly wealthy, provided they had zero political influence, leaving all the power strictly in the hands of the working class?

Of course, everything is interconnected and we could go in circles on this forever. However, if we really want to parse out the *having versus being* dilemma, the core question should probably be: to what extent does the pursuit of wealth prevent someone from truly existing? Or, conversely, how much capital does one actually need to accumulate before they can finally afford to just *be*?

I finally finished that Ford book—along with the rest of his collection—and honestly, everything about it is solid, except for the title. It’s just... off.
It’s a bit of a trick question—it's tucked away in that "either/or" part.
Why?
Because a healthy, natural balance relies on that sense of symbiosis—having everything work together. I think you might have cut off your message there. What was on your mind? I'm not quite sure what you're trying to get at here. If this was meant to be a question or a specific point, it didn't quite make it through. Feel free to clarify whenever you're ready.
If one side leans too far in any direction, we’re essentially lost—either sliding into pathological materialism or falling straight into narcissism.
Sam Martinez9 Sam Martinez9 Regular
361 messages
joined Jan 2021
#58 ·
coastaltiger25 said:I finally finished that Ford book—along with the rest of his collection—and honestly, everything about it is solid, except for the title. It’s just... off.
It’s a bit of a trick question—it's tucked away in that "either/or" part.
Why?
Because a healthy, natural balance relies on that sense of symbiosis—having everything work together. I think you might have cut off your message there. What was on your mind? I'm not quite sure what you're trying to get at here. If this was meant to be a question or a specific point, it didn't quite make it through. Feel free to clarify whenever you're ready.
If one side leans too far in any direction, we’re essentially lost—either sliding into pathological materialism or falling straight into narcissism.

Have you ever actually encountered a narcissistic homeless person? A narcissistic beggar? Someone truly destitute?

You simply can't have narcissism without some level of wealth to fuel it.

I do agree, though, that the essence lies in finding that equilibrium. My concern is that achieving such a balance—whether for an individual or for society at large—is an incredibly difficult feat to pull off.
coastaltiger25 coastaltiger25 Newcomer
5 messages
joined Dec 2020
#59 ·
Sam Martinez9 said:Have you ever actually encountered a narcissistic homeless person? A narcissistic beggar? Someone truly destitute?

You simply can't have narcissism without some level of wealth to fuel it.

I do agree, though, that the essence lies in finding that equilibrium. My concern is that achieving such a balance—whether for an individual or for society at large—is an incredibly difficult feat to pull off.

Take Buddha, for example. He grew tired of the "aristocratic lifestyle" and pure narcissism, so he swung hard in the opposite direction toward extreme asceticism.
But even that eventually went to his head in a sort of populist way—arguably worse than the nobility he left behind. He ended up becoming a "god on Earth and in Heaven." 😁
I agree that balance is the key. The issue, though, is that achieving balance—whether for an individual or for society as a whole—is notoriously difficult.

It reminds me of what P. P. Njegoš once wrote:
"No one has finished a cup of honey yet—but don't choke on a cup of gall, because a cup of honey is just a cup of gall mixed together... and those are the easiest to swallow."
Sam Martinez9 Sam Martinez9 Regular
361 messages
joined Jan 2021
#60 ·
coastaltiger25 said:Take Buddha, for example. He grew tired of the "aristocratic lifestyle" and pure narcissism, so he swung hard in the opposite direction toward extreme asceticism.
But even that eventually went to his head in a sort of populist way—arguably worse than the nobility he left behind. He ended up becoming a "god on Earth and in Heaven." 😁
I agree that balance is the key. The issue, though, is that achieving balance—whether for an individual or for society as a whole—is notoriously difficult.

It reminds me of what P. P. Njegoš once wrote:
"No one has finished a cup of honey yet—but don't choke on a cup of gall, because a cup of honey is just a cup of gall mixed together... and those are the easiest to swallow."

I was thinking about actual people living in our era, not those historical figures we hear about from three or fifteen generations ago.

coastaltiger25 said:I finally finished that Ford book—along with the rest of his collection—and honestly, everything about it is solid, except for the title. It’s just... off.
It’s a bit of a trick question—it's tucked away in that "either/or" part.
Why?
Because a healthy, natural balance relies on that sense of symbiosis—having everything work together. I think you might have cut off your message there. What was on your mind? I'm not quite sure what you're trying to get at here. If this was meant to be a question or a specific point, it didn't quite make it through. Feel free to clarify whenever you're ready.
If one side leans too far in any direction, we’re essentially lost—either sliding into pathological materialism or falling straight into narcissism.

Fromm makes a clear distinction between existential and characterological possession. Here is a quote from the book:

To truly grasp the operational framework we're discussing here, I think we need to establish one more fundamental distinction: we have to define the specific function at play.The concept of existential property. To exist as a human being necessitates that we possess certain things—that we acquire, maintain, protect, and utilize them simply to survive. This applies to everything from our physical bodies and the food we eat to our homes, clothing, and the basic tools required to meet our fundamental needs. I would characterize this mode of ownership as "existential," precisely because it is so deeply rooted in the very essence of human existence. It is a rational, driven impulse aimed at sustaining life itself. This stands in stark contrast to the "character-based" possession we have been discussing, which is fueled by a more volatile passion to seize and hold onto things that aren't innate, but rather developed as a byproduct of how social conditions shape the biological reality of the human species.

Existential possession doesn't inherently clash with the act of existing, whereas character-driven possession absolutely does. Even a saint or a truly righteous individual must possess a desire to have—in that purely existential sense of being present in the world. In contrast, the average person tends to crave possession in both an existential and a characterological way.

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