I'm ready to give up

Mr. Peach said:Are we talking about a life struggle in general, or one specific battle in someone's life?

parsifal:

1) The real question isn't whether one should give up, but WHO actually wants to give up.
And what exactly are they giving up? The goal that was set for them.

My question is: WHO set that goal in the first place?

2) That whole method—viewing everything as part of a larger process—is something you really should have embraced from the get-go.
YOU SHOULD WORK LIKE AN AMBITIOUS PERSON, but without getting hung up on the results of your efforts—because, honestly, those results are out of your hands once the goal has been set by something higher.

3) Once we finally let go, we are left with reality as it is. And that's when what we truly need starts to flow in.

Larry Fox5:
You can't ever just throw in the towel.
"Only a true Gentleman fights for a lost cause."
If you're running on empty, take a breather, recharge, and then go back in for the final showdown.

Bradley Fisher20:
Maybe you're trying to run straight through the wall instead of looking for the door? Step back from the obstacle for a second.

Pandora:
I mean... after a thousand failed attempts at smashing through a brick wall... maybe it's time to stop and look for a door. Or even just a window.

Solaris said:maybe 😕 because he can't see a damn thing out there

maybe he's just blind?

or maybe he just doesn't know how to actually look?

Or maybe there really just isn't any point......

Blaise:
But what if you're just wrong? What if you haven't exhausted every single option yet—what if there weren't 1,000 failed attempts, but only 999? How can you be so sure the battle is already lost?

Lacking motivation, desire, or strength? Fine. Maybe you're just exhausted...

The boundary is that tiny flicker of hope, or that lingering desire for something to happen. If you aren't absolutely certain—and you can't ever be truly certain—that the flame has gone out, then you've reached the edge. Do you realize what that little spark might turn into later on?

Giving up can bring relief. That's a real thing. Even just making the decision to quit can feel like a weight off your shoulders.

But what about that spark? .

Bradley Fisher20 said:If I’m following you correctly, you’re saying the fear is that giving up means you'll actually reach the goal? That sounds like a cheap trick to me. 😢.

By the way, are we talking about you generally giving up, or just accepting things as they are?

See, that’s the fundamental difference between a traveler and a wanderer. A traveler knows exactly where they’re headed and why. A wanderer just drifts along until they get bored. I’m guessing you’re more of a wanderer. Once you hit a wall and feel exhausted, you’ll have to decide if you’re actually okay with where you ended up. If you ever decide to move again, you'll need a purpose and a destination. Forget those Lao Tzu quotes.

Anyway, maybe you'll just decide to go wandering again?

I don't think you get it. Nobody is talking about some grand goal or target... a "goal" isn't even part of this whole thing.

Or is it that point where we have to give up on ourselves just to actually find who we are?
I see now that I mixed two things up—one is giving up out of negativity, and the other is just... letting go, surrendering.....

What if all of this exists, but it just spins in the wrong direction, toward destruction...? What if it leads straight into total emptiness?

It’s not about being tired or depressed. It’s about intentional destruction, because person X thinks that's the only way they can truly unleash their life force.

Anyway, can Yang really only be born from the fullness of Yin? Is that even possible?

Bradley Fisher20:
You’re really throwing me for a loop here, Solaris. Is that the goal? To leave everyone—including yourself—completely confused?

So what’s the actual question here? I mean, choosing destruction isn't the same thing as just giving up. Take Leb, for example—he gave up, but he wasn't destructive. Then there was that one guy who was incredibly destructive precisely because he refused to let go, even though he couldn't see any other way out.

I honestly can't stand this whole Yin Yang thing. It forces this duality on everything, and frankly, it means nothing to me.

Uffff. Now it feels like you’ve wandered down the wrong path—you realize things aren't working out, so you just want to tear everything down so you can start over, free from all that bad energy built into the foundation.

Solaris said:The question is pretty broad—it comes from watching how people just give up on themselves, maybe because they let themselves get sucked down some "wrong path" or bought into some distorted view of reality... So, wouldn't it be logical to just burn everything down and start over from scratch?

Solaris said:So, wouldn't it be logical to just walk away from everything and tear it all down just to start over from scratch?

Thomas Young4 said:Someone once defined life itself as a constant struggle. If you look at it that way, giving up on the fight basically means giving up on living altogether. To anyone with a healthy mindset, walking away from that battle isn't even an option. So, if we decide we don't want to fight anymore—if we take all that leftover energy and just start taking it out on our own teammates and sabotaging our own people—then our "condition" is pretty easy to diagnose. You could find a definition for that behavior in any standard American psychiatry textbook.

Here’s my second question: how can we actually be certain that we’ve exhausted every single possibility? Is it enough just because *we* feel like there's nothing left, or is there an objective way to know we've truly hit a dead end?

The third question hits deep: where does our motivation actually come from? What’s the true engine behind why we do what we do? And more importantly, is that fuel supposed to be an endless supply for everyone, or is it meant to run dry? When does it happen, and why exactly does that spark eventually fade?

Destructiveness—or even self-destruction—as a byproduct of giving up, like you were saying, Solaris, feels to me more like a regressive, immature defense mechanism. It’s basically how a protagonist who quits tries to manage their own anxiety, which likely stems from a fractured sense of self—that desperate need to see oneself as some kind of "ideal" or superior being. By hating that version of themselves, they end up taking their frustration out on themselves. Or, they project that anger—which is really just weakness—onto others, destroying them as a way to settle the score with themselves.

Look, if we aren't actually going to step up and fight in this context—if we’re just going to keep using whatever strength we have left to beat our own teammates into submission and sideline them—then our "condition" is pretty easy to diagnose. You could find the definition for it in any standard American psychiatry textbook.

So, here’s the second question: how can we actually be certain that we’ve exhausted every single possibility? Is it really enough just because *we* feel like there's nothing left to try?

The destructiveness—or even self-destruction—that comes from just throwing in the towel, like you mentioned, Solaris, feels to me like a regressive, immature psychological defense mechanism. It’s essentially how a protagonist who gives up tries to manage their own anxiety, which likely stems from a fractured sense of self—that desperate need to view themselves as "perfect" or superior. By hating that version of themselves, they end up taking their frustration out on themselves, or they project that weakness onto others, destroying them as a way of settling a score with their own soul.

Thomas Young4:

Look, if we aren't going to fight back—if we’re just going to keep using whatever strength we have left to sabotage our own people and cripple them—then what we're dealing with is clearly defined in every single psychiatry textbook out there.

It’s always way easier to ask questions than to provide answers. Nobody demands proof for a question, and let's be honest, most questions have more than one right answer anyway.

Trying to explain an "ideal being" would probably just boil down to that tired, overused cliché about the id, ego, and superego—you know, the backbone of psychodynamic approaches to neuroses. So, if we're following that route, we'd likely need to look for a solution within a psychodynamic (psychotherapeutic) framework, basically searching for a "cure."

Does anyone actually know what the hell we're even talking about at the end of this thread?

Solaris says:

Do you think Freud’s psychoanalysis is the only thing that matters here, or is there room for other perspectives too?

Oh, far from it. But honestly, picking a specific psychotherapeutic approach really comes down to how the therapist reads the patient and what they're actually aiming for—are we talking about short-term fixes or long-term deep dives? Techniques are definitely evolving, though you won't find every therapist using every single tool in the shed. But hey, maybe that's a rabbit hole for another day. 🙂

Solaris said:Giving up.

Is it ever time to throw in the towel when you feel like you’ve exhausted every single option left on the table?
When your strength is completely drained?
When the motivation and the will have just evaporated after a thousand failed attempts...

How do you actually decide whether to quit or to keep pushing?

Is there any point in fighting a battle that you already know is lost?
Why would there be?

Or should you just let it all go.....

How do you recognize that specific line where you need to stop everything and just surrender to the flow?

What happens once we give up, and what comes after that.....?🙂 🙂 😕