Is This Actually Worth It?

Patrick Chase2 said:Nobody’s actually confident or full of themselves. Nobody. Not one single person. Period.

Man, I can't tell you how many times I've heard that muffled crying hidden deep inside those rigid, self-assured, arrogant types...

Yeah, I'm with you on this one.
Honestly, I still think that article in the OP is shallow, surface-level, and just plain misses the mark. A second read only confirmed my gut feeling—it's pretty weak. 😁

I think you're seriously deluded if you actually believe this "formula" comes from any kind of deep insight. 😢

Look, I’m no expert on spiritual stuff... who knows—maybe I've got it all wrong.😁

Man, just look at this, for example:

Maybe the one thing we actually need—more than just being loved or looked after—is just knowing that our whole damn existence is way to go for someone else. I guess that’s just how we figure out if we actually matter—or if we don't.

First off—why do people even feel the need to get validation from someone else (literally anyone)? What is that drive if it isn't just some weird craving for competition? I mean, aren't we all inherently valuable? At our core, we're all pretty much equal, right?

I just need to be sure. my being Way to go—but let's be real, it isn't actually what I'm handing you that you value. It's more about... well, I guess it's about something else entirely. I amI need to be sure—when you're looking at me and appreciating what you see, it's actually *me* you're seeing.

So, why should one "self" even be singled out from all the other versions of "self"—especially when they aren't really different to begin with? I guess it's a bit of a moot point.
Look, if there’s even one single person out there who actually deserves love—and they do, I mean, if you actually care about someone, then you know that part is true—then everyone else is basically on that same level. They’re all just as worthy of love, and "I" am just one more person in that same boat.
So, my love for someone is supposedly enough proof of my worth? Everything else is just extra—like asking for a side of fries when you already ordered the burger. It's spoiled. Pure narcissism, I guess.

What’s probably not worth our time here is the stuff that isn't even our problem to begin with—you know, the things we can actually change and should be focusing on instead.
Look, there’s just no room for being half-hearted or throwing in the towel because you feel like you aren't "good enough" for the people you care about. If you actually think you can do better—then get to work. But if you really gave it everything you had and they still wouldn't have it? Then walk away. No regrets.
Love doesn't come with a paycheck—it isn't some transaction where you demand a return on investment. It doesn't force itself on you, and it sure as hell doesn't expect anything back. You don't get to demand gratitude or decide what’s going to make someone else happy, either. I guess love just exists above all that petty, worldly stuff.
I guess someone who’s actually found love could never really feel something like this—not ever.

If I can't show up for the people I care about—then honestly, what's even the point? I’m basically useless. I don't have a life, and maybe I don't even deserve one.

🙂 🙂 😉

Love is an exchange.
It’s about giving and receiving.
By my definition, love is something you actually live out with other people.

Maybe I just haven't grasped the true meaning of love...

...but I’ve never had much patience for the hypocrites who spend their lives floating in some abstract cloud of "love."

It’s easy to feel this pious, universal cosmic love and convince yourself you're a saint because of it.
I could probably point out one specific phony who played the "angel" role—acting like everyone's best friend just to soothe his own pathetic insecurities...
He performed these sanctimonious good deeds... but he was essentially just a vampire, eventually manipulating people into believing they were the selfish ones.
He'd offer a helping hand and win people over emotionally,
making it look like he cared... but the moment someone needed actual, tangible support, he'd just hit them with a mantra about how selfish they were for expecting anything from him.
I don't know if it made him feel better... personally, I think he just ended up empty.

It's as if, with all that performative love, he didn't want friends—he wanted worshippers. 😁 😁 😁

It's hard to actually deny your own ego through love.
To set aside your own needs...
(Whether it's physical intimacy or any other kind)
Yeah. It often turns into a form of emotional blackmail: "I did this for you out of love... now I want it back."
And honestly, that kind of emotional extortion is pathetic and disgusting.

But I've seen this behavior even in people who claim to love vague abstractions "unconditionally"... as if they're trying to hustle God or whatever else for some spiritual reward. 😛
You have to always go the extra mile...

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Have you guys seen the movie "Amelia"?
The one about the girl who almost kills herself by doing good deeds... but only because
she refused to admit to herself or anyone else that she
actually needs the love and attention she never received?
That's just another side of the same coin.

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(btw... sometimes I wonder... aren't the "male" and "female" concepts of love slightly different...? (not really relevant, offtopic)😉

VelmaX:

I still think the article in the OP is shallow, superficial, pedantic, and just plain wrong. A second read only confirmed my suspicions.

Sure... but you can still catch plenty of things in the shallows. 😉
Every ocean starts at the shoreline.

Copernicus said:It’s like his whole "universal love" thing isn't even about wanting friends—it's just him looking for cult followers. 😁 😁 😁

I caught that exact same vibe in the original post. That's why I wasn't feeling it.

(btw...sometimes I wonder... aren't "male" and "female" concepts of love kind of different...???😉

I don't buy the idea that there's such a thing as male vs. female love.
Honestly, I can't stand that word and how people toss it around for no reason—plus, this whole "universal love" thing as an active feeling for everyone feels a bit fake to me.🙄

Loving a specific person versus loving humanity is just a difference in scale... the latter is more like potential love, and I think it relies more on logic than on feelings you can't really control. (Or maybe not? Who knows.)

That's why I lean toward logic—it doesn't discriminate against people nearly as cruelly as the heart sometimes does.🙄

Glam really nailed this post 🙏 🙏

Honestly, you guys are all being too kind 🙂 🙂

Just a little clarification here...

This isn't meant to be some profound manifesto or anything. It’s more about dissecting things—asking "why" and peeling back the layers to get past the surface level.
We’re looking at someone who actually feels this way. But why?
Glam wrote an incredibly insightful piece

If what we're seeing is just a superficial facade or an emotional mask, then we need to figure out what's hiding underneath and how to drop that act entirely.

Modern psychology suggests that humans essentially have four core needs

The need for love, for freedom, for fun—doing what you love to find self-fulfillment—and finally, the need for RESPECT and acceptance from the community around you.

That fourth one right there? That’s exactly what this text is getting at.

It’s talking about everyday people—just regular folks living their lives, trying to make it work without necessarily reaching that state of unconditional love or enlightenment.

So, how do we actually help them...?

Glam said:What kind of confidence are we actually talking about if you have to rely on someone else just to feel steady within yourself? What kind of confidence is it when you're constantly driven by this nagging need to prove you're better than some other guy or show off that you can pull off something he can't?
That isn't confidence; it's just a massive void where confidence should be.

And what about self-respect? Is it even real if you need everyone else to treat you like a big shot just so you can feel decent about who you are? If you’re always stuck in some endless competition with people around you just to feel worthy through their eyes, that isn't respect.
It's actually a total lack of self-respect.

Then there's the whole "self-love" thing. How can you claim to love yourself if your sense of worth is entirely dependent on how much others adore you? If you find yourself demanding loyalty from everyone else just to maintain your own integrity, that isn't self-love.
That's just a complete absence of self-love.

I stumble upon stuff like this every once in a while, and I usually figure I might as well post it here in case someone else needs to see it too. It feels like it's worth the read.

How do you always manage to dig up these absolute gems? They’ve got this way of shining a light on the tiny bits of wisdom we all carry deep down inside...
🙏 🙏 🙏

Copernicus:
By embracing others, we learn how to embrace ourselves.
In loving them, we find the way to love who we are.
We discover parts of our own souls that we didn't even know existed—parts tucked away beneath our rigid, preconceived notions of what we "know."
It all stems from that crazy assumption that our personal experience is absolute and complete.!!!
Like... I think I have myself figured out, and I think I understand everyone else's motives and reactions perfectly...

🙂

Nobody is truly self-assured or full of themselves. Nobody. Not one person!

We play-act this version of strength and divinity, completely forgetting just how fragile and vulnerable we actually are....

🙂

Love is an exchange.
Love is about giving and receiving.
To me, love is something you live out alongside others.

🙂

I'm asking the author of these posts to come back 😉

Damn, that went by fast...🙂

P.S.
It happened, it's over...😉

And then it just looped back around. Typical..😁

Solaris said:[B

I am asking the authors of these posts to please just get back to reality 😉 [/B]

😲 It's straight-up necromancy!!!

Copernicus said:[.....

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Ever seen the movie "Amelia"???
It's about this girl who practically ruins her own life trying to be a Good Samaritan... mostly because she
can't bring herself to admit—to anyone, including herself—that she
actually needs the love and attention she never got growing up.
Just another side of the coin, I guess...

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(btw... sometimes I wonder... are "male" and "female" concepts of love just fundamentally different...? (doesn't matter, offtopic)😉 [/B]

No, but I've read the novel Idiot by Russ 😁 😁