Biased and unfair moderation

Rachel Jones8 said:So, we're diving into parenting today. The topic is "Every Child Can Learn to Sleep." Just a heads-up for anyone out of the loop—this is all about a specific book. I'm totally down to chat about the method and swap stories if you guys want?
Honestly, this thread is just full of people jumping down the throats of parents who use certain methods. Sure, that approach isn't exactly the trendy way to do things nowadays, but plenty of people still stand by it. Shouldn't they be allowed to have a civil discussion without getting attacked or insulted every five seconds? The mods aren't doing anything about it either... and somehow, I'm the one walking away with a strike.

Here’s a quick rundown of the posts:

unknown: I honestly thought the whole idea was just telling the kid, "Hey, lay down and go to sleep," then walking out of the room. Turns out, it’s way more complicated than that, isn't it?

If my kid has been up all day and we’re dealing with those middle-of-the-night wakeups, isn't it totally fair to just want them to go down without the hour-long rocking sessions?
unknown: And who exactly decided you're the one to call the shots on what a baby actually needs?
Look, I don't get to decide when I'm available or not. That’s entirely up to her—how much access she gets and how she plays it depends on what I think is actually worth my time. Right?
Look, I’m his parent. As his mom, I’m the one deciding what’s actually best for him—but also what keeps my own sanity intact. Is it really worth fighting for hours every single night? Maybe I’d rather just take the win if he finally falls asleep.
If a kid finally learns how to self-soothe after a few days of crying, and then just breezes through their bedtime routine every night? I mean, if they're happy, sleeping well, and Mom isn't losing her mind, why are people making such a big deal out of it?
Look, nobody's saying everyone has to live that way. It's about having the right to choose for yourself, isn't it? And honestly, shouldn't the rest of us just accept people for who they are, even if we don't see eye to eye?

So you get to decide how much of your own baby you're allowed to give? What, like an employer being too demanding or some guy you just started dating that you need to take down a notch? Is this even real, or just someone trolling at this point?

Yeah, if someone decides to go with CIO or whatever, they’re basically choosing to take a hit in the short term because they know it'll pay off later. It's not about shutting a kid down; it's about actually making the method work. Right?
Honestly, I think the constant nitpicking and bashing around here is getting out of hand. Isn't it starting to feel more like straight-up trolling and insults?

Look, if a method isn't working for you or you just don't vibe with it, that’s totally fine. No big deal. But there’s really no reason to go after people who actually see the benefits. If a parent decides to try the CIO approach, they’re making a conscious choice to let their baby cry for those few minutes. It's an intentional move, right?

unknown: At least things are looking up now. You and your crowd really think you know the best way to break a kid just to get them to do what you want, right?From sleeping to whatever comes next... That’s exactly why you train a baby that way—it’s definitely not about just getting them to crash.(This wasn't even directed at me, but it really shows how XY treats people in a conversation... though I guess the whole point of the method is just to get the kid to sleep.)

unknown: I hear you, but I honestly don't think you should push a kid—or especially a baby—to do just anything, right? That's just insane..

Look, I'm his parent. I'm his mom, and at the end of the day, I'm the one deciding what's actually good for him—and honestly, what works for me too. Isn't it better if he just learns how to fall asleep instead of us fighting this battle for hours every single night?
Awesome, keep it going... At least someone's around. She’s definitely cashing in on that! (And we all know Mom is the one pulling the strings.)

Maybe some kid just wants to be carried around for an hour every single night until they drift off... whether they're a week old or a year old. They probably want you to carry them all through the night, too. But let’s be real, that's just not happening. There's just no way Mom can pull that off. And that’s exactly why she’s worried about getting her to sleep right away, isn't it? She doesn't want to deal with the fallout later.
unknown: Maybe she just doesn't know any better, you know? Mom won't even try it because that's when Sulejman or some other newbie is usually around, and they just end up nodding off... She'll be back at it tomorrow, hopefully she finally gets the hint!

unknown: Look, let’s be real—hearing that crying while I’m right there in the car with them sounds way different than just hearing a kid cry in another room. It feels like Mom just doesn't want to deal with the struggle of putting them down, so she’d rather "teach the baby to sleep on its own" just so she can get something else done!
ME: You see... you aren't actually talking about the method here. You're attacking the parents directly and implying that Mom is being selfish... like she's some villain who doesn't care about her baby and only cares about herself.
You aren't even trying to grasp that moms do this because they truly believe it's what's best for the baby—so they can have a peaceful bedtime every single night without the constant fighting, stalling, or crying (and yeah, for some, that's exactly the goal).

unknown:I guess I just can't help it. It looks to me like moms are doing this for their own convenience rather than the baby's benefit, because I just don't see how this helps the child.
ME: There you go... you just proved my point. You only see the mom's comfort.
After using the method, the baby goes to sleep peacefully every night. That’s what parents see as the baby's benefit. You don't have to agree with where the benefit lies; you just need to realize that you—and other parents—see the value in it and feel satisfied that the method worked.

ME: Hey, it's fine to have an opinion on the method. If people think it's bad, let them criticize it. Why not? There are always better ways, and no single method is perfect for everyone. Everyone should find what works for them.
But... lecturing "those kinds" of parents isn't a discussion about the method; it's just judging the parents themselves.
We should accept the fact that regardless of the specific steps or methods chosen... these people love their kids. They are caring parents, and everything they do is for their children.
I get the feeling that because of this method and a few days of crying, some parents are being branded as villains or labeled as cruel and neglectful... and honestly, that's just not fair.

unknown:Maybe I’d read everything and give you a detailed reply, but I don't have the time. I've got my hands full with my little one. I tried letting him try to sew his own costume for Halloween, but that didn't work, so now I'm just letting him cry over a needle and thread, maybe he'll get an idea for how to fix things through his sighs... (Is this trolling?...she claims you can't teach a baby to sleep, then provokes by saying she'll let hers "sew" on her own.
)
unknown:...and you and people like you think they'll just turn over and fall asleep once Mom stops bothering them...
Oh, sure! For Mommy! For dear old Mommy! And I couldn't care less what anyone thinks. I don't have any respect for those moms; to me, they're just thinking about themselves. Boohoo, what am I gonna do about it!

unknown:I told my husband the other day, no matter how hard it gets, anything is possible since I'm a realist... But I would never dream of doing something so awful. He could throw a bucket of ice water at me or lock me away from the baby, but he'd never let me mistreat the child if it meant doing something I don't believe is right in that moment.
It's crazy how reasonable a little kid can be when you actually try to reach them instead of breaking them down.
I can't help you if you can't empathize with that feeling. Maybe it doesn't matter to you when a baby cries, but it matters to me... (of course, it doesn't matter to any mother... they don't let a baby cry because they don't care.)

unknown: Believe it or not, there are moms out there who let their kids cry just so they can check in and show them they aren't alone! Like, seriously! Just adding salt to the wound to make the agony worse! Rock'n roll all the way!

In one previous post, she said moms let babies cry just so they can watch Sulejman, and in this last one, she says they check in just to rub salt in the wound and make the misery even worse.
I'm jumping on that thread to say:

ME: Yeah, it's not even just about letting them air commercials so people can catch Sulejman; they’re straight-up using ad breaks to rub salt in the wound. It's like they're actually enjoying watching everyone suffer...
I think you've gone a bit overboard.
And yeah, you totally missed the mark on being off-topic.

And for this last post, I am definitely getting 35 troll points. 😁

Who's the crazy one here?

Sure, the moderator isn't a fan of my approach. But regardless, a little objectivity wouldn't hurt.

Rachel Jones8 said:So, we're diving into parenting today. The topic is "Every Child Can Learn to Sleep." Just a heads-up for anyone out of the loop—this is all about a specific book. I'm totally down to chat about the method and swap stories if you guys want?
Honestly, this thread is just full of people jumping down the throats of parents who use certain methods. Sure, that approach isn't exactly the trendy way to do things nowadays, but plenty of people still stand by it. Shouldn't they be allowed to have a civil discussion without getting attacked or insulted every five seconds? The mods aren't doing anything about it either... and somehow, I'm the one walking away with a strike.

Here’s a quick rundown of the posts:

unknown: I honestly thought the whole idea was just telling the kid, "Hey, lay down and go to sleep," then walking out of the room. Turns out, it’s way more complicated than that, isn't it?

If my kid has been up all day and we’re dealing with those middle-of-the-night wakeups, isn't it totally fair to just want them to go down without the hour-long rocking sessions?
unknown: And who exactly decided you're the one to call the shots on what a baby actually needs?
Look, I don't get to decide when I'm available or not. That’s entirely up to her—how much access she gets and how she plays it depends on what I think is actually worth my time. Right?
Look, I’m his parent. As his mom, I’m the one deciding what’s actually best for him—but also what keeps my own sanity intact. Is it really worth fighting for hours every single night? Maybe I’d rather just take the win if he finally falls asleep.
If a kid finally learns how to self-soothe after a few days of crying, and then just breezes through their bedtime routine every night? I mean, if they're happy, sleeping well, and Mom isn't losing her mind, why are people making such a big deal out of it?
Look, nobody's saying everyone has to live that way. It's about having the right to choose for yourself, isn't it? And honestly, shouldn't the rest of us just accept people for who they are, even if we don't see eye to eye?

So you get to decide how much of your own baby you're allowed to give? What, like an employer being too demanding or some guy you just started dating that you need to take down a notch? Is this even real, or just someone trolling at this point?

Yeah, if someone decides to go with CIO or whatever, they’re basically choosing to take a hit in the short term because they know it'll pay off later. It's not about shutting a kid down; it's about actually making the method work. Right?
Honestly, I think the constant nitpicking and bashing around here is getting out of hand. Isn't it starting to feel more like straight-up trolling and insults?

Look, if a method isn't working for you or you just don't vibe with it, that’s totally fine. No big deal. But there’s really no reason to go after people who actually see the benefits. If a parent decides to try the CIO approach, they’re making a conscious choice to let their baby cry for those few minutes. It's an intentional move, right?

unknown: At least things are looking up now. You and your crowd really think you know the best way to break a kid just to get them to do what you want, right?From sleeping to whatever comes next... That’s exactly why you train a baby that way—it’s definitely not about just getting them to crash.(This wasn't even directed at me, but it really shows how XY treats people in a conversation... though I guess the whole point of the method is just to get the kid to sleep.)

unknown: I hear you, but I honestly don't think you should push a kid—or especially a baby—to do just anything, right? That's just insane..

Look, I'm his parent. I'm his mom, and at the end of the day, I'm the one deciding what's actually good for him—and honestly, what works for me too. Isn't it better if he just learns how to fall asleep instead of us fighting this battle for hours every single night?
Awesome, keep it going... At least someone's around. She’s definitely cashing in on that! (And we all know Mom is the one pulling the strings.)

Maybe some kid just wants to be carried around for an hour every single night until they drift off... whether they're a week old or a year old. They probably want you to carry them all through the night, too. But let’s be real, that's just not happening. There's just no way Mom can pull that off. And that’s exactly why she’s worried about getting her to sleep right away, isn't it? She doesn't want to deal with the fallout later.
unknown: Maybe she just doesn't know any better, you know? Mom won't even try it because that's when Sulejman or some other newbie is usually around, and they just end up nodding off... She'll be back at it tomorrow, hopefully she finally gets the hint!

unknown: Look, let’s be real—hearing that crying while I’m right there in the car with them sounds way different than just hearing a kid cry in another room. It feels like Mom just doesn't want to deal with the struggle of putting them down, so she’d rather "teach the baby to sleep on its own" just so she can get something else done!
ME: You see... you aren't actually talking about the method here. You're attacking the parents directly and implying that Mom is being selfish... like she's some villain who doesn't care about her baby and only cares about herself.
You aren't even trying to grasp that moms do this because they truly believe it's what's best for the baby—so they can have a peaceful bedtime every single night without the constant fighting, stalling, or crying (and yeah, for some, that's exactly the goal).

unknown:I guess I just can't help it. It looks to me like moms are doing this for their own convenience rather than the baby's benefit, because I just don't see how this helps the child.
ME: There you go... you just proved my point. You only see the mom's comfort.
After using the method, the baby goes to sleep peacefully every night. That’s what parents see as the baby's benefit. You don't have to agree with where the benefit lies; you just need to realize that you—and other parents—see the value in it and feel satisfied that the method worked.

ME: Hey, it's fine to have an opinion on the method. If people think it's bad, let them criticize it. Why not? There are always better ways, and no single method is perfect for everyone. Everyone should find what works for them.
But... lecturing "those kinds" of parents isn't a discussion about the method; it's just judging the parents themselves.
We should accept the fact that regardless of the specific steps or methods chosen... these people love their kids. They are caring parents, and everything they do is for their children.
I get the feeling that because of this method and a few days of crying, some parents are being branded as villains or labeled as cruel and neglectful... and honestly, that's just not fair.

unknown:Maybe I’d read everything and give you a detailed reply, but I don't have the time. I've got my hands full with my little one. I tried letting him try to sew his own costume for Halloween, but that didn't work, so now I'm just letting him cry over a needle and thread, maybe he'll get an idea for how to fix things through his sighs... (Is this trolling?...she claims you can't teach a baby to sleep, then provokes by saying she'll let hers "sew" on her own.
)
unknown:...and you and people like you think they'll just turn over and fall asleep once Mom stops bothering them...
Oh, sure! For Mommy! For dear old Mommy! And I couldn't care less what anyone thinks. I don't have any respect for those moms; to me, they're just thinking about themselves. Boohoo, what am I gonna do about it!

unknown:I told my husband the other day, no matter how hard it gets, anything is possible since I'm a realist... But I would never dream of doing something so awful. He could throw a bucket of ice water at me or lock me away from the baby, but he'd never let me mistreat the child if it meant doing something I don't believe is right in that moment.
It's crazy how reasonable a little kid can be when you actually try to reach them instead of breaking them down.
I can't help you if you can't empathize with that feeling. Maybe it doesn't matter to you when a baby cries, but it matters to me... (of course, it doesn't matter to any mother... they don't let a baby cry because they don't care.)

unknown: Believe it or not, there are moms out there who let their kids cry just so they can check in and show them they aren't alone! Like, seriously! Just adding salt to the wound to make the agony worse! Rock'n roll all the way!

In one previous post, she said moms let babies cry just so they can watch Sulejman, and in this last one, she says they check in just to rub salt in the wound and make the misery even worse.
I'm jumping on that thread to say:

ME: Yeah, it's not even just about letting them air commercials so people can catch Sulejman; they’re straight-up using ad breaks to rub salt in the wound. It's like they're actually enjoying watching everyone suffer...
I think you've gone a bit overboard.
And yeah, you totally missed the mark on being off-topic.

And for this last post, I am definitely getting 35 troll points. 😁

Who's the crazy one here?

Sure, the moderator isn't a fan of my approach. But regardless, a little objectivity wouldn't hurt.

Rachel Jones8 said:So, we're diving into parenting today. The topic is "Every Child Can Learn to Sleep." Just a heads-up for anyone out of the loop—this is all about a specific book. I'm totally down to chat about the method and swap stories if you guys want?
Honestly, this thread is just full of people jumping down the throats of parents who use certain methods. Sure, that approach isn't exactly the trendy way to do things nowadays, but plenty of people still stand by it. Shouldn't they be allowed to have a civil discussion without getting attacked or insulted every five seconds? The mods aren't doing anything about it either... and somehow, I'm the one walking away with a strike.

Here’s a quick rundown of the posts:

unknown: I honestly thought the whole idea was just telling the kid, "Hey, lay down and go to sleep," then walking out of the room. Turns out, it’s way more complicated than that, isn't it?

If my kid has been up all day and we’re dealing with those middle-of-the-night wakeups, isn't it totally fair to just want them to go down without the hour-long rocking sessions?
unknown: And who exactly decided you're the one to call the shots on what a baby actually needs?
Look, I don't get to decide when I'm available or not. That’s entirely up to her—how much access she gets and how she plays it depends on what I think is actually worth my time. Right?
Look, I’m his parent. As his mom, I’m the one deciding what’s actually best for him—but also what keeps my own sanity intact. Is it really worth fighting for hours every single night? Maybe I’d rather just take the win if he finally falls asleep.
If a kid finally learns how to self-soothe after a few days of crying, and then just breezes through their bedtime routine every night? I mean, if they're happy, sleeping well, and Mom isn't losing her mind, why are people making such a big deal out of it?
Look, nobody's saying everyone has to live that way. It's about having the right to choose for yourself, isn't it? And honestly, shouldn't the rest of us just accept people for who they are, even if we don't see eye to eye?

So you get to decide how much of your own baby you're allowed to give? What, like an employer being too demanding or some guy you just started dating that you need to take down a notch? Is this even real, or just someone trolling at this point?

Yeah, if someone decides to go with CIO or whatever, they’re basically choosing to take a hit in the short term because they know it'll pay off later. It's not about shutting a kid down; it's about actually making the method work. Right?
Honestly, I think the constant nitpicking and bashing around here is getting out of hand. Isn't it starting to feel more like straight-up trolling and insults?

Look, if a method isn't working for you or you just don't vibe with it, that’s totally fine. No big deal. But there’s really no reason to go after people who actually see the benefits. If a parent decides to try the CIO approach, they’re making a conscious choice to let their baby cry for those few minutes. It's an intentional move, right?

unknown: At least things are looking up now. You and your crowd really think you know the best way to break a kid just to get them to do what you want, right?From sleeping to whatever comes next... That’s exactly why you train a baby that way—it’s definitely not about just getting them to crash.(This wasn't even directed at me, but it really shows how XY treats people in a conversation... though I guess the whole point of the method is just to get the kid to sleep.)

unknown: I hear you, but I honestly don't think you should push a kid—or especially a baby—to do just anything, right? That's just insane..

Look, I'm his parent. I'm his mom, and at the end of the day, I'm the one deciding what's actually good for him—and honestly, what works for me too. Isn't it better if he just learns how to fall asleep instead of us fighting this battle for hours every single night?
Awesome, keep it going... At least someone's around. She’s definitely cashing in on that! (And we all know Mom is the one pulling the strings.)

Maybe some kid just wants to be carried around for an hour every single night until they drift off... whether they're a week old or a year old. They probably want you to carry them all through the night, too. But let’s be real, that's just not happening. There's just no way Mom can pull that off. And that’s exactly why she’s worried about getting her to sleep right away, isn't it? She doesn't want to deal with the fallout later.
unknown: Maybe she just doesn't know any better, you know? Mom won't even try it because that's when Sulejman or some other newbie is usually around, and they just end up nodding off... She'll be back at it tomorrow, hopefully she finally gets the hint!

unknown: Look, let’s be real—hearing that crying while I’m right there in the car with them sounds way different than just hearing a kid cry in another room. It feels like Mom just doesn't want to deal with the struggle of putting them down, so she’d rather "teach the baby to sleep on its own" just so she can get something else done!
ME: You see... you aren't actually talking about the method here. You're attacking the parents directly and implying that Mom is being selfish... like she's some villain who doesn't care about her baby and only cares about herself.
You aren't even trying to grasp that moms do this because they truly believe it's what's best for the baby—so they can have a peaceful bedtime every single night without the constant fighting, stalling, or crying (and yeah, for some, that's exactly the goal).

unknown:I guess I just can't help it. It looks to me like moms are doing this for their own convenience rather than the baby's benefit, because I just don't see how this helps the child.
ME: There you go... you just proved my point. You only see the mom's comfort.
After using the method, the baby goes to sleep peacefully every night. That’s what parents see as the baby's benefit. You don't have to agree with where the benefit lies; you just need to realize that you—and other parents—see the value in it and feel satisfied that the method worked.

ME: Hey, it's fine to have an opinion on the method. If people think it's bad, let them criticize it. Why not? There are always better ways, and no single method is perfect for everyone. Everyone should find what works for them.
But... lecturing "those kinds" of parents isn't a discussion about the method; it's just judging the parents themselves.
We should accept the fact that regardless of the specific steps or methods chosen... these people love their kids. They are caring parents, and everything they do is for their children.
I get the feeling that because of this method and a few days of crying, some parents are being branded as villains or labeled as cruel and neglectful... and honestly, that's just not fair.

unknown:Maybe I’d read everything and give you a detailed reply, but I don't have the time. I've got my hands full with my little one. I tried letting him try to sew his own costume for Halloween, but that didn't work, so now I'm just letting him cry over a needle and thread, maybe he'll get an idea for how to fix things through his sighs... (Is this trolling?...she claims you can't teach a baby to sleep, then provokes by saying she'll let hers "sew" on her own.
)
unknown:...and you and people like you think they'll just turn over and fall asleep once Mom stops bothering them...
Oh, sure! For Mommy! For dear old Mommy! And I couldn't care less what anyone thinks. I don't have any respect for those moms; to me, they're just thinking about themselves. Boohoo, what am I gonna do about it!

unknown:I told my husband the other day, no matter how hard it gets, anything is possible since I'm a realist... But I would never dream of doing something so awful. He could throw a bucket of ice water at me or lock me away from the baby, but he'd never let me mistreat the child if it meant doing something I don't believe is right in that moment.
It's crazy how reasonable a little kid can be when you actually try to reach them instead of breaking them down.
I can't help you if you can't empathize with that feeling. Maybe it doesn't matter to you when a baby cries, but it matters to me... (of course, it doesn't matter to any mother... they don't let a baby cry because they don't care.)

unknown: Believe it or not, there are moms out there who let their kids cry just so they can check in and show them they aren't alone! Like, seriously! Just adding salt to the wound to make the agony worse! Rock'n roll all the way!

In one previous post, she said moms let babies cry just so they can watch Sulejman, and in this last one, she says they check in just to rub salt in the wound and make the misery even worse.
I'm jumping on that thread to say:

ME: Yeah, it's not even just about letting them air commercials so people can catch Sulejman; they’re straight-up using ad breaks to rub salt in the wound. It's like they're actually enjoying watching everyone suffer...
I think you've gone a bit overboard.
And yeah, you totally missed the mark on being off-topic.

And for this last post, I am definitely getting 35 troll points. 😁

Who's the crazy one here?

Sure, the moderator isn't a fan of my approach. But regardless, a little objectivity wouldn't hurt.

rustydrifter10 said:While the book was definitely the catalyst for starting this thread, it’s evolved way beyond just being about that one title; now we're really diving into the methodology in general, which naturally includes taking a more critical look at the CIO approach.

I'm sorry, but this is just incredibly messy and hard to follow. It's impossible to get a real sense of what the actual debate is about when it's laid out like this, so could you please just provide links to the specific posts you're arguing about?

From what I can see, there are actually two different moderators active on this thread. One is actually a supporter of the method, while the other is against it. Just because your opinion doesn't align with one of them doesn't mean she's automatically being biased or unfair in her moderation.

Believe it or not, there are plenty of them who just let the kids cry. Like, they even check in on them just to rub salt in the wound and make the agony worse! Total rock'n roll attitude.

Sorry, but this is a mess and impossible to follow. You can't really see the flow of the argument like this, so please just give me links to the controversial posts.

From what I can tell, there are two moderators active on this thread. One supports the method, while the other is against it. Just because your opinion doesn't align with one of them doesn't automatically mean she's biased when moderating.

I'm feeling pretty good today! Just wanted to pop in and say hello to everyone. Hope you're all having a wonderful week so far. kaže:
Just because someone has a specific viewpoint doesn't mean they're automatically being biased.
From what I've been noticing lately, it seems like... I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that! It looks like your message might have been cut off. Feel free to send over whatever you were working on—I'm ready whenever you are!It feels like there’s been this complete silence regarding the constant accusations being thrown at parents. It isn't just about one thing; it’s a continuous stream of complaints and unsolicited commentary aimed directly at the parents rather than focusing on the actual methods being used. For instance, nobody has addressed the claims that parents are just letting their kids cry so they can sit there and watch Sulejman. Or even worse, the accusations that parents are intentionally talking to their children just to rub salt in the wound—basically making a bad situation even more agonizing for them. There’s just been no response to any of it, and it’s frustrating to see all these allegations ignored.
It felt a little unfair when I posted my thoughts on the forum earlier. I was just trying to say that people were overreacting, but it seemed like everyone took it personally. It actually ended up getting me a warning, which was pretty disappointing since I wasn't trying to start anything—I just don't really care for those kinds of accusations.
It’s honestly frustrating to watch. The person who actually threw out those insults and baseless accusations didn't face any consequences at all. Instead, the one who stepped up to call out such a truly monstrous accusation is the one being punished. It just feels backwards.
To I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that! It looks like your message might have been cut off. What's on your mind? That just feels plain wrong—unfair and totally one-sided.

I can't quite make sense of that one! Was there something specific you wanted to chat about? I'm all ears! kaže:
I have this feeling that because of this specific method—and those few days of tears and tantrums—some parents end up being judged unfairly. It feels like people focus solely on that one moment, regardless of everything else they do or how they actually treat their child throughout the rest of their lives. Some people would go as far as to call them criminals, at the very least.They’re being labeled as harsh and careless... honestly, I think that’s just not fair.
There are so many different ways to be a subpar parent, and it’s not always about the big, obvious stuff. Sometimes, it’s much more subtle. You see it all the time—parents who aren't necessarily breaking any laws, but they’re essentially neglecting their kids by just being physically present without actually being *there*. I’m talking about those moments where everyone is sitting around the dinner table together, but nobody is actually communicating. One parent is staring at their phone, or they're just mentally checked out, completely missing the little things their child is trying to say. It sounds small, but these constant patterns of emotional absence really take a toll. They quietly shape a child's development in ways that can leave lasting marks, often because the parents don't even realize they're doing it. It's those little gaps in connection that end up mattering the most.

Susan James said:

I'm feeling pretty good today! Just wanted to pop in and say hello to everyone. Hope you're all having a wonderful week so far. kaže:
Just because someone has a specific viewpoint doesn't mean they're automatically being biased.
From what I've been noticing lately, it seems like... I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that! It looks like your message might have been cut off. Feel free to send over whatever you were working on—I'm ready whenever you are!It feels like there’s been this complete silence regarding the constant accusations being thrown at parents. It isn't just about one thing; it’s a continuous stream of complaints and unsolicited commentary aimed directly at the parents rather than focusing on the actual methods being used. For instance, nobody has addressed the claims that parents are just letting their kids cry so they can sit there and watch Sulejman. Or even worse, the accusations that parents are intentionally talking to their children just to rub salt in the wound—basically making a bad situation even more agonizing for them. There’s just been no response to any of it, and it’s frustrating to see all these allegations ignored.
It felt a little unfair when I posted my thoughts on the forum earlier. I was just trying to say that people were overreacting, but it seemed like everyone took it personally. It actually ended up getting me a warning, which was pretty disappointing since I wasn't trying to start anything—I just don't really care for those kinds of accusations.
It’s honestly frustrating to watch. The person who actually threw out those insults and baseless accusations didn't face any consequences at all. Instead, the one who stepped up to call out such a truly monstrous accusation is the one being punished. It just feels backwards.
To I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that! It looks like your message might have been cut off. What's on your mind? That just feels plain wrong—unfair and totally one-sided.

I’m so sorry I didn't get back to you sooner! I'm not quite sure what you mean by that! If you were trying to share something specific or had a question in mind, feel free to drop it below. I'm all ears and happy to chat!

I’m not quite sure what you mean by that! If you were trying to start a conversation or ask a question, feel free to jump back in. I'm all ears! I'm not quite sure what you're getting at here! Could you give me a bit more context or let me know what you need help with? I'm all ears and ready to jump in once I know what we're working on.

Regarding those other users you claim aren't actually banned—even when they seem to be provoking or being rude—I’ve noticed a pattern with them. In my experience, they usually speak from their own personal perspective, sharing how they feel about the method itself. They often end up opening up and apologizing if they realize they’ve crossed a line in how they communicate. I haven't really seen that happen with you, though.
I mean, if they’re really getting under your skin, why bother replying to them so much? Especially when the conversation has already drifted off-topic. It just seems like extra energy for no reason!

Regarding those "monstrous accusations," I’ve noticed you have a bit of a habit of projecting "accusations" onto people. Even when nobody actually uses those exact words, you frame things in a way that makes them sound much more intense than they really are. Of course, that just sends people into a defensive spiral where they end up overreacting to what feels like a provocation.
Take a look at this, for example. ovaj post

I can't quite make sense of that one! Was there something specific you wanted to chat about? I'm all ears! kaže:
I have this feeling that because of this specific method—and those few days of tears and tantrums—some parents end up being judged unfairly. It feels like people focus solely on that one moment, regardless of everything else they do or how they actually treat their child throughout the rest of their lives. Some people would go as far as to call them criminals, at the very least.They’re being labeled as harsh and careless... honestly, I think that’s just not fair.
There are so many different ways to be a subpar parent, and it’s not always about the big, obvious stuff. Sometimes, it’s much more subtle. You see it all the time—parents who aren't necessarily breaking any laws, but they’re essentially neglecting their kids by just being physically present without actually being *there*. I’m talking about those moments where everyone is sitting around the dinner table together, but nobody is actually communicating. One parent is staring at their phone, or they're just mentally checked out, completely missing the little things their child is trying to say. It sounds small, but these constant patterns of emotional absence really take a toll. They quietly shape a child's development in ways that can leave lasting marks, often because the parents don't even realize they're doing it. It's those little gaps in connection that end up mattering the most.

I haven't actually seen anyone on this thread labeling people as villains like you're claiming.
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If that's the case, why didn't you report the post?
So, were you talking about any other specific comments that felt off to you, whether they were directed at you personally or just someone else you found the insults to be inappropriate?

I noticed there’s a little triangle icon next to everyone's username on the forum...

it might be hard for you or others to wrap your head around, but I put my schedule and my own needs second. Everything revolves around making sure he gets a decent amount of sleep, no matter what we're doing.

or this

as for the other members you claim haven't been banned despite being provocative or insulting, I...I’ve noticed that with everyone, too. Anyone else? They should write from their own experience, you know? Talk about how the method actually feels to them. They always end up apologizing to people for getting too intense with their communication, but I don't really do that with you.

I mean, if they’re really getting under your skin, why do you keep replying? Especially when the thread is already dead?

Regarding that "monstrous accusation" thing—I’ve noticed you have a habit of pinning accusations on people that they didn't actually make. You use such intense language that it sounds way scarier than reality, which just forces everyone to get defensive and spin around your provocations. Isn't that how it works?

Take a look at this post, for example.

Everyone’s just looking out for their own little one. Honestly, judging parents who are just trying to step up and make things better for their baby? That's just wrong.
It’s one thing to have an opinion on the method itself. A lot of people aren't buying it and think it's a dud, which is totally fair. You've gotta respect that.

Look, people should say what they want about the method. If some think it sucks... fine, let them criticize it. Why not? There's always a better way to do things, and no single approach is ever perfect. Everyone just needs to find whatever actually works for them.
Honestly, just lecturing people about "those kinds" of parents isn't actually a discussion about parenting methods—it's just judging them. Right?
Let’s face it—no matter how much parents argue over which method to use or what steps to take, at the end of the day, they’re just being protective. They love their kids, and honestly? Everything they do is for them. Isn't that just how it works?

I haven't seen anyone on this thread labeling people as criminals like you're claiming.
🤷

If it is, then why didn't you report the post?
And if anyone else insults you or someone else, or says anything you think is out of line? There's a little icon next to every user's name....

Yeah, now they aren't just letting them cry so they can watch Sulejman, they're even using commercial breaks to sadistically rub salt in the wound... apparently enjoying the agony.
I think you really went too far.

Rachel Jones8 said:Honestly, I don't even know why I'm bothering to argue with you, since this whole debate feels pretty pointless.
Since you clearly can't see how biased your moderation is, I don't think you're really the right person to be discussing objectivity with... you'd need someone from the outside looking in who actually has no skin in the game. You aren't that person. And honestly, you should probably read the entire thread, though I doubt anyone here has the energy or the time for that.
I figured you’d realize that and just stay out of a conversation that isn't going anywhere... because fighting with a bull is useless, and you've got horns while I don't.
But fine, I'll give an answer—not for your sake, but for everyone else wondering if I have a point.

And that's exactly the issue. You aren't "sorry" because you missed a chance to dig through my posts to find some tiny slip-up to justify a ban. You're "sorry" because you ignored countless posts filled with insults and accusations, letting this whole discussion spiral completely off the rails. People who actually wanted to talk about sleep methods or ask real questions are getting drowned out by people who get a free pass to just vent their outrage and attack other parents.
Is the post you flagged a violation or not? Who knows, maybe it is.
But... the post itself isn't a provocation; it's a response to one.

it might be hard for you or others to wrap your head around, but I put my schedule and my own needs second. Everything revolves around making sure he gets a decent amount of sleep, no matter what we're doing.

In this post, this person assumes it would be unthinkable for me or anyone else to put a baby first, which is insulting in its own way. They're acting like they're on a pedestal, as if their own needs and wants are the only ones that matter. As if nobody else has them. They act like they're just trying to help the kid "catch" a little sleep.
Given how this same person has been trashing other parents in previous posts, this looks hilarious to me—just another provocation in a long line of them. Why? Because the whole reason this thread exists is that parents want their kids to sleep; their child's rest is the priority. We aren't just trying to help them "catch" some sleep; we're trying to build a solid routine so sleeping becomes easy and high-quality without the constant struggle.

or this

Regarding that, okay, maybe it was unnecessary... but I wasn't saying anything that wasn't already said by the other side. I was just repeating things that should have been handled much earlier.

as for the other members you claim haven't been banned despite being provocative or insulting, I...I’ve noticed that with everyone, too. Anyone else? They should write from their own experience, you know? Talk about how the method actually feels to them. They always end up apologizing to people for getting too intense with their communication, but I don't really do that with you.

If you actually noticed that and still didn't call out how everyone's trashing parents, then you clearly weren't reading closely—or even paying attention to what you were writing.
Look, they weren't just sharing their own experiences or talking about how the method felt. They were straight-up attacking and blaming the parents.
You can actually see that pretty clearly if you just put in the effort and read the whole thread. Seriously, why wouldn't you?
The ladies on here have tried asking each other to tone it down—to stop attacking and judging parents. Even some of the people who don't even agree with the method themselves have stepped in to say, "Hey, let's chill." A moderator even jumped in to try and settle things. But did it work? Not really.
Did you seriously miss all that?

I mean, if they’re really getting under your skin, why do you keep replying? Especially when the thread is already dead?

Man, this whole thing about attacking parents is getting out of hand. Should we really just sit here and let people get bullied while the moderators stay silent? Why leave this topic open to the folks who are just looking for a fight against parents using CIO methods?

Regarding that "monstrous accusation" thing—I’ve noticed you have a habit of pinning accusations on people that they didn't actually make. You use such intense language that it sounds way scarier than reality, which just forces everyone to get defensive and spin around your provocations. Isn't that how it works?

My provocations? Hmm...
I still can't shake the feeling that people are accusing parents of just letting their kids cry for no reason just so they can watch Sulejman. It’s like they're reaching out just to rub salt in the wound and make the whole thing feel even more intense. Isn't that just cruel?

Take a look at this post, for example.

So, I'm looking at this. I think I can pull out a few bits from here too:

Everyone’s just looking out for their own little one. Honestly, judging parents who are just trying to step up and make things better for their baby? That's just wrong.
It’s one thing to have an opinion on the method itself. A lot of people aren't buying it and think it's a dud, which is totally fair. You've gotta respect that.

Look, people should say what they want about the method. If some think it sucks... fine, let them criticize it. Why not? There's always a better way to do things, and no single approach is ever perfect. Everyone just needs to find whatever actually works for them.
Honestly, just lecturing people about "those kinds" of parents isn't actually a discussion about parenting methods—it's just judging them. Right?
Let’s face it—no matter how much parents argue over which method to use or what steps to take, at the end of the day, they’re just being protective. They love their kids, and honestly? Everything they do is for them. Isn't that just how it works?

I haven't seen anyone on this thread labeling people as criminals like you're claiming.
🤷

1. In the post you just quoted, I’m not saying anyone is being branded a criminal.
2. Let me clear things up first:
I just get the feeling that because of this specific method and those few days of crying, some parents are basically being cast as villains—labeled as harsh or neglectful—regardless of anything else or how they actually treat their kids for the rest of their lives. That's just not fair.

"I get the feeling" — which means exactly that: it's my impression, not a claim that someone explicitly wrote it somewhere.
"cast as villains" = it seems to me (which I explained above) that people are perceiving them that way.
"labeling them as harsh and neglectful" — they are being labeled that way, and they are.

3. A lot of posts here link this method to child neglect and even mention calling CPS.

If it is, then why didn't you report the post?
And if anyone else insults you or someone else, or says anything you think is out of line? There's a little icon next to every user's name....

I don't know, maybe I'm just not built that way. It doesn't cross my mind (I've honestly never reported anyone). I guess I just hope the mods handle it, punish or warn whoever needs it, or at least notice when others call people out and step in to keep things civil.

More to come