Boeing

I feel like my basic right to free speech is being totally stepped on.
Every time I post, Boeing hits me with warnings about "guerrilla tactics" or trolling.

Honestly, I don't even have a single controversial post to point to as proof, and I can't think of any reason why I’d ever target a moderator or Boeing personally.

Now I'm actually hesitant to say anything at all because any opinion could be twisted into "trolling"—which is such a vague term you could use it to shut down even the most harmless joke.

I have no clue why this keeps happening, but I’m asking Boeing to just look back at my previous posts before handing out more warnings or bans. Maybe then they'll realize this is just how I write, without any actual rudeness or hidden agenda.

Thanks.

Just got my DM explaining why I was flagged, so I might as well just lay it all out here.

Basically, Tupelo says:
"Look, when you're trolling, it’s pretty smart to know when and where it’s actually appropriate, right?

Your posts yesterday on the infidelity threads felt like a provocation to a lot of women, and they didn't go over much better on the cheating boards today.
Like I said, you can talk all you want, but provoking and insulting other users isn't allowed."

My only question is: could someone please point out exactly which posts were supposedly offensive?

I'm not trying to be difficult about this, but it’s honestly pretty awkward to see that green warning text aimed directly at me after everything I've posted.
It’s that crappy feeling of being a kid getting scolded by a teacher in front of the whole class without even knowing what you did wrong.
__________________

I have to say something because I feel like everyone here has completely swapped roles...

Earlier today, I was posting in the thread about cheating victims and used the phrase "stand up for ourselves," and people actually directed that same energy toward the cheaters instead.

The sadness of the situation has absolutely nothing to do with it.

If anyone is getting banned today for being blunt, then yeah, it’s me!

Come on, Jessica Alvarez38!

We already settled this: saying someone is "digging their heels in" just means they're getting defensive, and you didn't mean it as an insult.

I just want velvettrucker52 to get it—stop trying to police my writing style. I like to joke around. Most of the time I'm making fun of myself, so if I drop a joke in another thread, it isn't some guerrilla warfare tactic or trolling.

I write like this about everything, whether it's shoes, food, or my husband...

You really didn't do anything wrong!

Gosh... that’s exactly what I meant. When I drop a phrase like that, I know exactly what I’m getting at...
but it’s OBVIOUSLY been taken as an insult and somehow blamed on you instead.
And honestly? That is the last thing I want.

So, I’ll say it again:
if that’s really why you’re handing out warnings...
then fine, go ahead and give the strike to me.
Simple as that.🙂

Sarah Cooper41 said:I have no idea why things are this way, but please, velvettrucker52, before you go off on your endless warnings and disciplinary actions, take a moment to read my previous posts. You might realize that this is simply how I write—without any intention of being rude or having any hidden agenda...

I really don't know what else to tell you regarding this matter, especially since we already covered it in our private messages.

Over at the Department of Public Works, we have three different chat rooms, each populated by very distinct—let's just say, conflicting—sides of a messy love triangle.
Given those differences, it would be wise to adapt your "personal writing style," as you call it, to fit the specific context of the topic you are participating in.
The way you post in the relationship forums hasn't exactly landed well with everyone as "just harmless joking," and that should have served as a pretty clear sign that your approach wasn't sitting right with your audience.
Tonight, you started doing the exact same thing in the infidelity threads, which is why I stepped in with a warning—simply to prevent unnecessary arguments and formal reprimands.

To reiterate, I have absolutely nothing against an articulated and respectful exchange of ideas, but aggressive posturing in "home base" topics or launching attacks on the community won't fly here.

Furthermore, I strongly suggest you review the forum rules once more; it will make your participation much smoother.

Honestly, that is truly all I have to say on the subject.

I asked you for just one specific example.

So, I'm going to post the thread you edited. In my reply, I clearly quoted everything that made me feel like I was being "attacked," yet strangely enough, you didn't say a word. Don't get me wrong, I'm not begging for a reaction; I just don't get why there's such a double standard when it comes to this topic.

In that whole post, your "correction" focused on a single smiley face while completely ignoring the actual substance of what was quoted.

Obviously, I can't force you to comment since you've already distanced yourself from the situation, but I'll put it here anyway just so we can finally put this to rest.

Sarah Cooper41 said:I asked you for just one concrete example.

Fine, I’ll try my luck by posting the thread you edited. In the quoted section, I clearly laid out everything that made me feel "attacked," yet strangely enough, there was absolutely no response from your side. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't begging for a reaction; it’s just hard to wrap my head around why we're using two different sets of rules for the exact same issue.

In that entire post, your correction focused on a single eye-roll emoji while completely ignoring the actual substance of what was quoted.

Of course, I can't force you to comment since you've explicitly stated you won't, but I'll put this in writing anyway so we can finally put this matter to rest.

Hmm.
I didn't edit this post; Jose White18 did.

So, it seems yet another moderator decided your post was being too aggressive as written.
And for the record, they didn't just remove one Rolls-Royce; they took out the entire fleet.

velvettrucker52 said:Huh.
Jose White18 actually fixed this post, not me.

So, basically, yet another moderator decided your original wording was just too aggressive.
And they didn't just pull one single comment—they nuked the whole thread.

They only removed one single smiley because it was the only one there. So... I see you've got it in your signature everywhere, and now I'm wondering if it's really such a massive violation that it requires two mods to step in over one little emoji?
To be fair, calling the post I linked "aggressive" is a bit of a stretch...

Honestly, there's no point in arguing further since moderators are always right, aren't they?

velvettrucker52 said:Considering how much variety there is here, it’s probably pretty smart to adopt that "personal writing style" you mentioned and just tailor it to whatever specific topic you're diving into.

But honestly, why don't you bring that same logic up when someone comes flying in with those nasty provocations aimed at people who've been cheated on?
Because then, just for the sake of variety, you end up handing out warnings or bans to the very people actually trying to defend themselves against those trolls, all while explaining that this is an open forum where anyone can say anything—which basically just labels us as the aggressors.

Your posts in the affair threads didn't exactly land as "just harmless joking" with everyone, and maybe that could have been a gentle little hint to you that people weren't really vibing with that approach.

It’s kind of funny, though, that you didn't think *this* particular post was inappropriate, isn't it?

Oh, I wouldn't dream of doubting that they've come up with all sorts of ways to self-delude down there. They get humiliated to the core, yet they still try to convince themselves otherwise.🙄 ☕
Well, yeah, the truth hurts sometimes...😁

And it wasn't even Sarah Cooper41 who went looking for trouble; it was some random person asking about what happens when a relationship becomes humiliating in an affair context, only to have a few people jump in claiming that being the legal spouse is the only way to be truly wronged.

Out of everything that was said, you somehow picked *this* to issue a warning for.

You started doing the exact same thing tonight over in the infidelity threads, so I stepped in with a warning just to stop things from spiraling into unnecessary arguments and more warnings.

It’s not like the whole country is crazy (and that goes for everyone else, too).

Stumbled onto this interesting topic and was actually gearing up to reply... then I see the thread was shut down for absolutely no reason.

😕

Maybe the OP just didn't want us asking questions...
But if you start a thread, you clearly want to hear similar stories, maybe some venting, or even just a little encouragement....

I don't see any valid reason for a mod to kill off a perfectly fine discussion....

Waiting on someone to weigh in here.....

The "What should I do?" thread got closed in a way that was polite, but totally nonsensical:

velvettrucker52:
"Alright, you got it off your chest, but you don't want anyone digging further.
Locking it seems like the best move."

Michelle Wilson8 said:Why don't you say that when someone jumps into a thread full of scammers just to stir the pot?
Instead, you end up banning the people who actually try to defend themselves against those trolls, all while using that tired excuse that "this is a free forum where anyone can post," then calling us gatekeepers on top of it all.

The thing is, what was labeled as a "provocation" directed at the scammers wasn't actually a provocation. It wasn't just velvettrucker52's opinion either—every single moderator at the Department of Public Works agreed, and after looking over the disputed posts, the admins backed them up too.

I haven't been around the forum much lately, so I spent some time catching up by reading Tuggin's posts.
Look, this isn't the same situation we had with Nicholas King back when the scammers were involved. In that case, Nicholas was just offering advice that people didn't want to hear because they preferred a pat on the back over reality. With Tuggin, the issue is different; her entire way of participating in a discussion basically boils down to just spitting on anyone who disagrees with her.

I’m still waiting for some actual examples. Especially now that I’m being hit with the usual "spamming, rudeness, and harassment" labels again.

We all know the moderators are just going to back up their buddy for the sake of convenience, so there’s zero chance of this being fair. It would actually be decent if they considered other perspectives once in a while, but apparently, that's asking too much.

The argument was that "the girls didn't take it well," and now look—Michelle Wilson8 is claiming that even when it comes to scammers, "the girls didn't take it well" either. But in that case, it didn't matter at all. They completely ignored how uncomfortable those women were with one guy's behavior, especially since Nicholas King clearly uses one tone when talking about certain people and a totally different one when dealing with scammers.

I honestly don't get it. I really don't.

Sarah Cooper41 said:No one even bothered to notice that the girls were annoyed by the performance of this guy, Nicholas King, who clearly writes about "triangles" in one tone, yet switches to an entirely different vibe when discussing "inverted" shapes...

Since this is all so "obvious" to you, I assume you'll have no trouble backing up this massive lie with a few actual quotes? Surely you aren't going to turn out to be someone who just spouts nonsense without a single shred of evidence, right?

Sarah Cooper41 said:I honestly just don't get it...

Regardless of how much you lean on your "unique communication style" (which we’re all apparently expected to tolerate just because that’s how you function) or how much you claim to be misunderstood, the reality remains: you knew perfectly well that your constant sarcasm doesn't sit well with the people in the infidelity subforums.
Here is the exact post you wrote in that section, which addresses this very issue:

In fact, you noticed this yourself in that post, yet it didn't stop you from maintaining that performative tone and continuing to force your specific way of interacting down everyone's throats. For instance, here is just one of those posts where they explicitly stated that such commentary is out of place:

Yesterday, you made a similar attempt over in the infidelity group, and I shut it down the moment I saw it because I had no intention of engaging in another three-day tug-of-war.
I also issued a warning to those in the infidelity group who were entertaining the idea of starting arguments within the victim's thread.

Finally, your insistence that you only used a single, innocent smiley face in the post that Jose White18 edited is completely inaccurate, and both you and I know it.
The simple fact that you can't acknowledge even something that elementary only reinforces my belief that no matter what arguments regarding your communication style I or anyone else presents, you won't be satisfied—simply because it isn't what you want to hear.

velvettrucker52 said:No matter how much you lean on that "unique communication style" excuse—which we’re all supposed to just deal with because that's just who you are—and how much you play the victim, the truth remains: you knew damn well your constant joking wouldn't fly with the mistresses.
Here's what I wrote about those scammers, and honestly, this is exactly what I was talking about:
I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty sure the Department of Public Works is just a massive money pit at this point. Honestly, it feels like a total tragedy.

Look, you saw the scams happening in that thread yourself, but somehow you still decided to lean into that performative vibe and keep shoving your "unique" communication style down everyone's throats. Here's just one example of those posts where people kept pointing out that this kind of stuff just doesn't fly here:

I guess I’m just being an idiot here, but does anyone actually believe that garbage? It feels like we're all just circling the drain at this point.

Yesterday was... Another attempt at this. I even called out those cheaters, though I shut him down the second I saw him coming—wasn't about to deal with another three-day standoff.
I also put out a warning to those cheaters who thought they could come over here and start drama in the threads meant for the betrayed.

And finally, your insistence that you only posted one tiny little smiley in that post Jose White18 edited is a total stretch, and Sarah Cooper41 and I both know it.
The fact that you can't even admit something that basic just proves my point. No matter how much Sarah Cooper41 or anyone else tries to call out your communication style, nothing we say is going to land because you aren't actually looking for the truth—you just want to hear what you already believe.

velvettrucker52, what you're claiming is a blatant lie, clearly just a cheap attempt to discredit me because of some stupid smiley face. Just one. And this one too. 🙄 Since I already dropped that quote in my LinkedIn post, I might as well just put it right here too; Oh, I don't doubt for a second that they've mastered the art of self-delusion over there. They're totally humiliated, yet they still act like they're on top of the world.☕
Yeah, truth hurts... If that smiley was pulled just to soften the blow of the quote, I’ll let everyone draw their own conclusions.

Second thing—you’re seriously trying to claim my post about the cheated-on spouses was just baiting the mistresses. You’re still completely ignoring the one post I linked where those mistresses are straight-up insulting everyone who got cheated on in their little corner of the internet.

I didn't even bother reacting or hitting those little upvote buttons; I just said what I had to say. It’s the same way I talk about shoes, makeup, food, or psychology. I’d ask for some basic tolerance for my style, but honestly, you can't compare my takes on dating apps to the absolute trash people post on there about cheating.

It’s all staring you right in the face, but for some reason, you just refuse to see it. And honestly, that's not even just my take on things. Period.

Nicholas King said:Since it's so "obvious" to you, I bet you'll breeze through defending this massive lie with some fancy quotes, right? Surely you aren't just going to spout nonsense without any actual points to back it up?

Look, honestly, anyone on this board could probably argue anything if they pulled enough citations together, but I just don't have the energy to deal with all that today (clearly, I've got enough on my plate). Besides, I haven't even been following your posts that closely—I've just noticed how your condescending, "know-it-all" attitude tends to kill the vibe for women who are already dealing with being cheated on.

That's all there is to it. And please, don't come at me over a typo; I only brought you up to connect the dots from what others were saying.

Sarah Cooper41 said:Look, the truth is I just don't have the energy to deal with this right now—especially since you can clearly see I’ve got enough on my own plate without adding this to the pile. And honestly? I haven't even been following your posts that closely. I’ve mostly just realized that your whole condescending, "know-it-all" attitude is actually killing the desire to write for some women who are already dealing with being cheated on. It’s just exhausting.

If I could charge ten bucks every single time I submitted a quote request only to be met with some lazy, "Ugh, I don't feel like it" attitude... man, I’d be absolutely loaded by now.

So, instead of actually backing up your little "claim" that I’m being threatening—which, for the record, I still maintain is a blatant, shameless lie—you aren't just trying to wiggle out of it with that notorious "well, I just feel that way" excuse... you're actually going as far as to offer this pathetic little confession. You basically admitted that you made the statement without even following my posts closely enough to know what's what. And then, to top it all off, you throw in another ridiculous fabrication—claiming (and honestly, WTF, "how much did you manage to pick up on?"—it isn't exactly rocket science here) that I supposedly "crushed the desire to write" for certain women. Even if that were true—which it absolutely isn't—what on earth does that have to do with your original, false accusation regarding our differing opinions on various topics?

Regarding this whole "killing the desire to write" nonsense: first off, there’s an option on this forum to just completely ignore anyone who is supposedly "destroying my motivation." It’s not that complicated. Secondly—and I hate to be the one to point this out—there is an entire mountain of positive feedback right here in this same thread regarding my writing style and my tone. Honestly, it feels a bit ridiculous to even have to quote those responses here—though, just to be clear, unlike you, I actually have specific quotes I can use to back up my claims.

So, what exactly are you looking for from me here—and why on earth are you trying to put words in my mouth? Honestly, I don't get it. Why are you dragging me into this specific thread when, frankly, none of this has anything to do with me?

If I were actually going to step in and start meddling with someone else's lies—which, honestly, is a slippery slope—I suppose I’d have to take a moment to really think things through before just being blunt and telling the truth.

That’s really all there is to it—if you can even call it that. Please, don't go nitpicking my grammar right now—seriously. I mean, I only brought you up to serve as a link to the others.

I honestly have no idea what anyone actually means when they throw around a term like "third-party connection." I mean, I guess it’s one of those vague buzzwords people use to sound important, but frankly, it doesn't mean much to me—it just sounds like more unnecessary jargon. 😲 Look, where exactly do you get the nerve to think that—after you just threw two blatant lies my way—that I should somehow just let them slide? You honestly expect me to just "not hold you to your word"? Well, newsflash: why on earth wouldn't I call you out on them right here on a public platform like this forum?

Let me say this one more time—either you find some actual quotes to back up these threats of mine (including that nonsense about "destroying my desire to write") or you admit you’re just a shameless liar who lacks even a shred of decency to own up to a mistake and apologize. If you really enjoyed going through all the trouble of spinning these lies, then maybe go ahead and put in a little more effort and try to actually prove them.

It’s your move.

Sarah Cooper41 said:velvettrucker52, what you're claiming is just a blatant lie meant to discredit me. There was only one smiley used, and it was 🙄this one right here alongside my quote.

It wasn't just one. There was almost one smiley per cited section. ☕

I didn't react to it or click any report buttons or anything. I was just sharing my thoughts, the same way I do when I talk about shoes, makeup, food, or psychology.

First off, if something bothers you, don't hesitate to hit that report button. Let the moderators do the heavy lifting for you instead of fighting your own battles. Otherwise, people end up feeling like the mods are "out to get them."

Second, people who act exactly the same way regardless of where they are clearly lack any sense of situational awareness. They don't know how to adjust their behavior to fit the moment or the setting. Those types quickly realize they've suddenly found themselves "alone against the world," and naturally, they blame nothing but pure human malice for being labeled as out of touch.

Your call.

What are you actually complaining about? 🤷

Jose White18 was the absolute you know why I'm so sure—the situation got so heavy I actually intended to write this without any emojis, but the quote was just so insulting that I changed my mind and expressed my annoyance with one single emoji on that specific quote. I'm talking about that post, obviously.

now it's my turn to call you out...

what do I want? I want velvettrucker52 to stop talking to me like I'm some six-year-old in the back of a classroom, and honestly, if you're going to weigh in, maybe go back and read the post where you removed that one lone emoji and see how I reacted to what I quoted there.