Can we just, please?

Hey, forum mods.

Since you guys completely trashed the Lonely Heart threads with all those dating and party topics, us real Americans have nowhere left to hang out.
If I remember correctly, this site was originally built as a landing spot for single people. Now, it’s basically 90% couples and happy people who don't even belong in this PDF.
It got to the point where some of us wanted our own space, so we started a "real Lonely Heart chat" in the off-topic section, but we still get harassed by trolls there constantly.

Can we please just get one small corner of the forum where we can actually hang out at the end of the day without these coupled-up types rubbing it in our faces?

Do you have any thoughts on how one might actually pull that off? Even if we tracked the relationship status of every single member on this board, we can't exactly police which topics people discuss or which subforums they frequent, provided they aren't breaking any rules. 🤷

If your goal is to launch a thread on the US site specifically for singles, we could certainly give it a shot, but much like our off-topic chats, whether the coupled users decide to stay away is entirely down to their own discretion.

Look, everyone knows who's coupled up and who isn't.
When a thread is specifically opened for single people and everyone else is asked to back off,
it’s infuriating when they jump in just to brag about their sex lives or how happy they are in their relationships. I can't see it as anything other than straight-up trolling.

The topic actually has potential and plenty of people are interested, but the mods just don't take us seriously. That’s why I’m bringing this to Reddit.

It would be ideal if we could host this in an off-topic section, because like I said, the couples dominate the main boards and I'm really not interested in spamming meetup threads everywhere.

Then again, maybe this is just how it's gotta be, rather than not having anything at all.

🤦 Hey Sun, just leave the crew alone. And Shadow, don't even think about opening two separate chats over there. There were days when things were actually messy on the US side too. Those were some dark times. 🍿

Nah, the US is actually pretty secondary here.
We already established that most things just are what they are.

That’s why I asked—can we get at least one thread in the off-topic section or somewhere else specifically for the rest of us? ☕

Jeremy Johnson18 said:Look, the US is pretty much secondary here.
We already established how most things work.

That's why I asked if we could get at least one thread in the off-topic section or somewhere else just for the rest of us. ☕

Well, now we have a thread. It's not like we need an entire separate subforum just to moderate this one, for crying out loud. 🤣

Grace Sanders24 said:Look, we've got a dedicated thread for this. There's no damn reason to moderate it as its own separate thing. 🤣

Why not? The rules clearly state "couples not welcome," yet they keep showing up just to troll.
Just ban them like any other troll and move on. Problem solved. 🙂

Otherwise, they'll just keep messing with your head indefinitely.

Malac, I actually bailed on this forum once before because people like you ruined everything. You didn't just mess up the official USA chat—which used to be the Finger of Fate—you trashed the 40+ thread where the rest of us were actually trying to have some grown-up conversations.

It didn't take long for them to merge the 40+ group into your childish, mindless little corner of the site. Honestly, any real intellectual variety we had there was basically wiped out once you guys colonized the entire PDF.

And don't think we didn't protest. I'm pretty sure even Lord expressed his frustration through cryptic Japanese poetry, but it was useless. We tried to fix the vibe, but eventually, we just gave up and headed straight for the exit.

The atmosphere is way better now, though. People are hanging out outdoors and having actual, pleasant chats online. I don't expect the 40+ crowd to ever get their old "home base" back, but it's certainly not like we need to cater to the ridiculous demands of trolls like you.

Sent from my iPhone using Reddit

Maybe try showing a little respect to your peers once in a while.
Just because you couldn't get what you wanted doesn't give you a free pass to take your aggression out on me.

You guys set up your own chat in the States, and honestly, there’s nothing wrong with it—especially since you even admitted yourselves how much you love it. It’s great for those of you who like to stick together in a pack. As for the actual content in there? It's absolute garbage.

In the end, people try to distance themselves from your group, and then you just find something else to complain about.

Honey, what exactly is your issue here?

Nobody in the United States makes a big deal out of their relationship status or tries to rub salt in the wound.

Like I said before, Americans aren't just lonely when it comes to love.

Donna Watson65 said:Look, I actually left this forum a while back because people like you trashed everything—not just the official US chat, but even the 40+ thread where we were all looking for some actual substance. You guys kept crashing our conversations whenever you felt like it, even though you didn't fit in there at all by any standard.

It didn't take long for the 40+ group to get swallowed up by your immature, mindless sub-thread. Honestly, the intellectual variety we used to have basically died out once you guys took over the whole PDF.

We complained, obviously. I think even Lord expressed his frustration through some deep Japanese poetry, but nothing worked. We tried to fix it, but eventually, we just gave up and moved on.

The vibe is much better now. People hang out outdoors and have decent chats online. I don't expect the 40+ crowd to ever get their old "home base" back, but we aren't going to bend over backwards to satisfy ridiculous demands from trolls like you.

😂😂😂

Ashley Vaughn79 said:Honey, what exactly is your issue here?

Nobody in the States goes around broadcasting their relationship status or rubbing it in people's faces.

Like I already said, Americans aren't just lonely when it comes to love.

I don't get why the very people I'm trying to get away from are even showing up in this thread.
Does it bother you that someone doesn't like your chat, or what?

I already asked the admins if we could move somewhere else to get away from you guys.

You've clogged up the chat so much that people actually feel uncomfortable and are staying away on purpose. And please, don't start with that "it's not true" crap about how you welcome everyone and want to help. 🤦

It's pretty obvious you're missing the point of this thread, and you're also ignoring the fact that you're being annoying by constantly talking about who's hooking up with who or who's hanging out with whom.

Jeremy Johnson18 said:Look, it’s pretty obvious who’s coupled up and who isn’t.
When a thread is specifically opened for single people—and everyone else is asked to stay out—it’s just frustrating.
Instead, they jump in specifically to talk about sex or how happy they are in their relationships... I honestly can't see it as anything other than trolling.

The topic actually has potential and a lot of interested people, but our mods don't take us seriously. That’s why I’m bringing this to the forum.

It would be ideal if we could have something in the off-topic section, because like I said, the main US boards are dominated by couples—and frankly, I don't want to spend my time scrolling through endless meet-up threads.

Though, I guess maybe it's better this way than not having anything at all.

I am not going to defend people's right to post in a chat on a PDF site.
Someone's relationship status shouldn't be a gatekeeping mechanism for accessing a chatroom.

The thread clearly has potential—that's exactly why people are showing up to type there.
I haven't seen anyone intentionally spamming the thread with sex talk, kissing stories, or romantic poetry.
That only happened once this morning—and even then, it was because there were provocations trying to drive people away from the thread, so some people reacted... well, they reacted.

In my opinion, this whole "splitting things up" idea makes no sense, and it has nothing to do with off-topic discussions. This is really about your dissatisfaction with the US.

If the people in charge disagree with me, they should speak up.

Jeremy Johnson18 said:Just because you couldn't get what you wanted doesn't give you the right to take your aggression out on me.

Look, you guys built your own little chatroom in the United States, and it's certainly not lacking anything—I mean, you even said it yourself, you love it there. It’s great for those of you who stick together like a tight-knit clique. And don't even get me started on the actual content in there; it's absolute garbage.

In the end, people try to distance themselves from your group, and then suddenly, everything is "wrong" again.

I am not being aggressive. Maybe I just sound like some young, inexperienced, and dissatisfied virtual version of you.
Also, just so we're clear, I am definitely not part of that "clique" you're talking about. I don't share their worldview or their private business, and I certainly don't share that trashy, low-life content they post.
So, now that we've established that I bailed on the forum because of annoying teenagers like you, tell me something—how is it that the very same people who—instead of torpedoing you like a teenager would—actually helped you solve every single problem you served up on the chat during your daily "rehab sessions," are suddenly bothering you now?

Jeremy Johnson18 said:Hey, forum admins.

Since they basically nuked our hangouts with all those meetup and party threads, us actual Americans have nowhere left to go.
If I remember correctly, this site was originally designed as a landing spot for single people. Nowadays, 90% of it is just coupled-up happy people who don't even belong on this PDF.
It’s gotten to the point where some people wanted to branch out and started a "real American chat" in off-topic, but even there, trolls keep hunting us down.

Can we please just have one tiny corner of the forum where we can actually hang out at the end of the day without these happy couples rubbing it in our faces?

I'm still wondering how exactly these couples are rubbing salt in your wounds anywhere on this site? Does their mere existence or current relationship status bother you that much? Do you need this place to feel like an echo chamber? A place where you find an equally stubborn group to hide away in 24/7 to talk about being lonely and how you're fighting it?
"Good afternoon, I'm unknown and I'm miserable because I see people in relationships behaving like they're in relationships."
*The rest of the site* - "Welcome, join us!"
It's like a damn AA meeting, but the American version. Is that really what you want from this community?

I honestly don't know. I get the feeling you don't actually want to socialize; it feels more like you just want to stir the pot and troll people because you're bored. That's the only thing that makes sense to me right now. From what I see lately, plenty of that supposedly "lonely" crowd shows up to meetups; almost every gathering has someone new from the site who's probably there because they're lonely in their own way. I just don't get why it bothers you so much, or why you want to keep everyone stuck in this destructive state for as long as possible. The whole point of being "lonely hearts" seems to be staying negative, depressed, fatalistic, and bitter toward anyone who actually has friends or a partner. Is that really what you're aiming for?

I asked you before what happens with the singles' meetups, and you ignored me because it was a legitimate question. What happens if the singles actually hit it off after a few meetups? They won't be welcome anymore because they've crossed over to the "dark side"—even though they bonded with all of you, once they're in a relationship, they're suddenly unwanted for future gatherings? I don't get why you insist on making loneliness a personality trait; it's just destructive behavior. And for the record, people in relationships can be just as lonely as the singles, but clearly, you have no contact with those types because you're convinced that being in a relationship means you can't be lonely. I don't know, maybe try gaining some experience, broaden your horizons, and actually ask people how they are. You'll see there's a world outside that wall you keep building around yourself.

Donna Watson65 said:I'm not being aggressive, maybe I just sound that way because you see me as some inexperienced, dissatisfied kid online.
Also, I don't belong to that pack you're talking about. I don't share their worldview or anything private—not even little bits of info, and definitely not my actual character.
So, now that we've established I left the forum because of annoying teenagers like you, tell me, kid—why does it bother you so much that the same people who didn't torpedo you during your teen years were actually the ones helping you solve all those problems you served up on chat every single day during your "rehab" sessions?

They didn't help. They didn't even try; if anything, most of them were just adding fuel to the fire. Aside from a few exceptions like Wiki, Zvonet, or maybe Mary. And honestly, I don't get why an incident from two years ago is even relevant to this discussion right now.

Besides, I was feeling pretty alone when I first showed up on the US. Yeah, they should have kicked me out. 🤣
And I really don't follow your question. Are you basically asking how it's possible that after two years, I'm no longer interested in the random strangers I ran into on chat back when I first joined the forum?

mistyhound94 Asks:
I’m still stuck on how exactly people here rub salt in an open wound. Like, what's the actual method they use to twist the knife? Does their mere existence bother you, or is it just the mess they're making right now?

Exactly. On top of that, there’s all this constant chatter about hookups and social scenes. I head over there to actually unplug from reality for a bit, only to end up staring at everyone else having the time of their lives. Look, I'm just looking for what Josip already set up in the off-topic section. Is it really that hard to wrap your head around?

mistyhound94 said:I get the feeling you aren't actually interested in hanging out. I just don't get why you’re so obsessed with keeping this whole group stuck in such a toxic cycle. It feels like you want everyone to stay in this downward spiral for as long as possible—just constant negativity, depression, and defeatism. You seem hell-bent on making sure anyone who actually has friends or a healthy relationship feels bitter about it. Is that really the goal here?

Bingo! For some reason, it took ten times saying it loud and clear before you got it: I'm not interested in hanging out!
I’ve said it plenty of times before—I’m genuinely glad to see a fresh crew coming on board, and I wish them nothing but the best. But let’s be real: this just isn't my scene.
Maybe our numbers are low, but some people have actually found their little slice of heaven in that mess and they have zero intention of leaving their comfort zone.

mistyhound94 said:I asked you what happens with the loners' hangouts, but you just blew me off because I was actually asking a legitimate question. Here it is: what happens if a couple from that group starts dating after a few meetups? They basically become social pariahs. Even though they finally clicked with everyone, once they’re in a relationship, they aren't "desirable" for the group anymore. They've moved to the dark side, and suddenly they're out of the loop.

Look, I’ve never once pushed for hanging out in person. My only interest has always been typing away on the chat.
That’s a pointless question. If people like that actually manage to find a partner on a chat app, they’ll end up walking away from it themselves 100% of the time to go live their lives.
Look, you still have the option to hang out in the other threads if you want, or just hit each other up in private messages if you've already become friends.

Maybe it’s just pure envy. We see people in relationships and we want exactly what they have—it’s that basic human urge to grab onto something we’re missing.
Just a chat for us, whether we’re feeling lonely or not.

Jeremy Johnson18 said:Yeah, exactly this. Plus all those random messages about hookups and hanging out. I come here to get away from reality for a bit, only to end up watching everyone else have a blast. I'm looking for what Joshy already set up in the off-topic section. Is that really such a hard concept to grasp?

And you actually took him seriously? It seems a little overblown to me. 🤣

Bingo! For some reason, it took telling you ten times, loud and clear: I don't want to socialize!
I've also said plenty of times how I'm glad a new crew is coming in and I wish you guys luck, but just realize that isn't for me.
Maybe there aren't many of us, but some people have truly found their sanctuary in this mess and they have no intention of leaving their comfort zone.

So, 5% of the United States doesn't want to socialize, while the rest does, and now you want to take that 5% and turn the US into your own personal version while the rest of the group just wants to pull themselves out of the gutter because being stuck in the gutter for too long sucks. Been there, done that, and I didn't like it. I was in that phase once, and maybe you are too, and it might last a year, but it’ll drive you crazy because if you let it, depression will eat you alive, and getting out of that isn't easy. If you enjoy it, fine, whatever, but I'm sure others don't. And the people who come to the US to pour their hearts out surely aren't doing it to be depressed; they're here so someone listens, gives advice, provides support, hope, or some kind of solution—something worth fighting for. You've given up and you're sinking, but it's not right to drag everyone else down with you just because they're currently in the mud and you think staying in that state indefinitely is somehow okay.

Look, I haven't advocated for any kind of socializing, aside from typing virtually in the chat.
Your question is pointless. If people like that happen to find a partner in the chat, in 100% of cases, they'll just leave on their own and be happy.
Besides, you still have the option to all hang out together in other threads or via private messages if you've become friends.

Maybe it's just that we're jealous of the couples and want to have at least that one thing they have.
Just a chat for us, whether we're lonely or not.

Why are you talking in the plural so much? I mean, sure, right now it's just the three of you against that version of the US, but you're a tiny minority. And I haven't seen the other forum users acting thrilled about your proposal, which would destroy the US as it stands and turn it into a breeding ground for depression and defeatism.

Look, just leave the United States the way it is.
I won't speak for everyone—even if there are a few of us—but I’d personally just want one dedicated chat.
Not some massive PDF file, just one single chat thread. 🤦

As for the percentages, I'm not going to throw numbers around because, let's be real, neither of us actually knows.
Tons of people pass through there, but hardly anyone decides to write anything, let alone stick around.

EDIT: How exactly were you picturing this working? You think I'm going to go around forcing all the new guys to stay away and banning them from hanging out? 😬

Jeremy Johnson18 said:Look, just leave the USA the way it is.
I won't speak for everyone, though there are plenty of us, but personally, I'd just want one single chat.
So, not an entire PDF, just one chat or thread. 🤦

As for percentages, I'm not going to speculate because, honestly, neither of us actually knows.
A ton of people pass through there, but hardly anyone decides to write anything, let alone stick around.

We don't need more than one chat in any subforum. Actually, I’d probably rather run a week-long test where only a select group—people who aren't from the main chat—could participate. It would be a way to see how long it lasts and if it actually fills up with posts from all those other forum users who just sit in the shadows watching everyone else have fun. 🍿

And yeah, there are tons of lurkers. We all started out that way; it's nothing new. Some people just decide to stay away for various reasons, some find someone and disappear, and some just vanish from the forum because they aren't feeling it anymore and it's just too much of a hassle. There could be a hundred reasons. And I really think the USA definitely doesn't need another chat that just turns into a depression pit. There were attempts like that a long time ago, and they failed miserably. 🙂