Feeling lonely lately

Hey everyone, I’m hitting some major roadblocks here... I don't even know where to start. Basically, I never go out because I have nobody to go with. I have school friends, but that doesn't really count as a social life... I've changed lately though; I've become way more outgoing, whereas before I was just the quiet type who didn't care about being social at all. Now, I'm trying to figure out how to actually change my situation—how do I find a real circle of friends and where am I supposed to look? Plus, I don't have a girlfriend, which is another thing I'm missing, though I guess I might find one easier since people tell me I'm pretty cute🙂 ...any advice would be appreciated if you can help... thanks

I mean, just go join some club or whatever, maybe something you actually give a damn about
like a specific sport or something. It’s honestly pretty weird how you can be surrounded by people your own age at school and still struggle to find actual friends.

I mean, I have friends, but I think I joined the group too late, so I’m probably not really on their radar when it comes to hanging out... I guess I should just ask them to do something, though maybe the real issue is that I haven't even brought it up yet. Anyway, good advice.

rocker_17 said:Look, I’ve got friends, but—and this is the kicker—I think I joined their circle way too late, so they don't really seem interested in hanging out with me outside of class... though, honestly, maybe I should just bite the bullet and actually ask them to hang out? Maybe the whole issue is that I haven't even opened my mouth about it yet. Anyway, your advice was solid, thanks.

Just go ahead and ask those school friends if you can hang out one weekend—maybe suggest a Saturday? 🙂

Maybe there’s someone else in your class going through the exact same thing. You could try branching out and hanging with people who aren't part of that main clique—maybe someone a bit more low-key or quiet. Honestly, having just one solid friend is enough to grab a coffee or walk around town with.

...or maybe just join some kind of club 😉

ileana_ said:Maybe there’s someone else in your class going through the exact same thing... maybe you could try hanging out with someone who isn't part of that main clique—someone a little more low-key, perhaps? Honestly, having just one solid friend is plenty when you need someone to grab a coffee with or wander around town with...

Ugh, yeah—I hadn't even thought of that. 😬 😍 That’s actually a really solid idea! 😍

Yeah... I guess my classmates kind of hate me because I’ve actually cleaned up and stopped acting like an idiot. The teachers seem to like me, too... I'm a decent guy, I suppose. I guess I'll just have to ask, there isn't much else I can do... I just woke up to this reality, really. I used to be this overweight, unattractive kid, but now I've finally hit that phase where I'm actually decent-looking—tall, blue eyes, all that. 🙂 But hey, that's just how life goes, I guess.

While you’re stuck waiting around for the right person to come along—and let's face it, that can take forever—you might as well turn that focus inward and dive into the things you actually love 🙂

velvetjackal20 said:yeah... honestly, these kids in my class just can't stand me because I actually look decent and don't spend my time acting like a total idiot—plus, the teachers actually like me, you know? I'm a good kid... really. But hey, I guess I have to ask, what else can I do? I've basically just woken up to reality lately; I used to be this overweight, awkward mess, but now? Now I've finally hit my stride—I'm fit, I'm good-looking, tall, blue eyes... 🙂but well, that's just how life goes, I suppose.

And I was a total "bombshell" back in elementary school myself! 😍

That’s exactly how it went down with this 17-year-old kid I was babysitting for a bit. I was looking after his younger brother while they were getting settled into their new place, and the task was basically getting the little guy to his special education school. Eventually, the teenager started hanging out with a classmate, bouncing between different houses, hitting the movies, or just wandering downtown together. Before you know it, someone gets hooked on a certain group, or you find yourself completely absorbed by them. 👍

Man... I've been leaning on antidepressants lately, and honestly, my dating life is a total wreck. It feels like girls just use me for whatever they need and then bail. I guess there might be someone out there willing to actually help me through this, but who knows.🙂

rocker_17 said:yeah.....my classmates totally hate my guts because I'm more fit than them and don't act like an idiot, plus the teachers actually like me and stuff... I'm a good kid, really..... I guess I just have to ask, I don't have much choice.... and honestly, I just finally woke up; I used to be overweight and pretty ugly, but now I'm actually hot, tall, and have blue eyes.....🙂 but hey, that's just how life goes

If you're arrogant and full of yourself, you aren't even going to find friends like that
especially not guys.

I guess that’s not what I meant... but honestly, people are just jealous. A couple of guys in my class already told me. I've dated a few girls, and since nobody else in my class really has much luck, they can't help but be bitter. Some of them even tell me I look like a model—mostly because I'm in an all-male program, so it's always the guys saying it. I’m definitely not stuck up, though; I actually can't stand those types. But yeah, I know what people are saying behind my back, and it's pretty clear they're just envious.

I honestly believe there are people out there just seething with jealousy... but look, if it helps at all—and I really mean this—I think female envy and malice is a whole different level of nasty compared to the male version. It’s just... much more calculated, you know? 😘

Honestly, you have no idea what kind of idiots I'm stuck in class with... I guess you seem like a decent person, though.🙂)...

rocker_17 said:you have no idea what kind of idiots I have to deal with in my class... Taylor Howard36, you seem like a decent person to me🙂)...

Well, I *am* a decent person 🙂 , though I might be a little too old for you 😉

And as for these "idiots" of yours—look, buddy, you’re going to run into morons your entire life 😬 that's just how the world works 🙄...

Does anyone else have any suggestions for me? Seriously, please, someone help me out here.

Look, I think you really need to take the advice everyone else has already given you—just join a club or something. Honestly, even if it's just hitting up a local gym, at least there you might actually find some common ground with people. There's always a crowd of guys hanging around those places, so it’s an easy way to break the ice.

Same goes for that school "clique" of yours. If I were you, I’d try to strike up a conversation with just one person from that group first—you know, start with something totally random or trivial and just see where it leads. If you click—meaning, if that one person realizes you're actually a decent guy—believe me, things will eventually smooth out with the rest of them... though, if I'm being totally honest, I wouldn't even bother forcing myself into a social circle if it's obvious they don't want you there or if they're just being jealous... seriously, screw them!

And hey, don't forget about the internet. I don't know what part of the States you're in, but through chats or forums, you can meet all kinds of new people, and who knows, maybe some of them are even living in your neck of the woods...

velvetjackal20 said:hey guys, I'm struggling big time... not sure where to start... basically, I don't go out much because I have no one to go with. I have school friends, but that's not really "it," you know? I've actually changed lately and become way more social—I used to be super quiet and just didn't care about hanging out... so now I want to know how to change things up, how to find a crowd, and where to go? Also, no girlfriend, which is definitely something I'm missing. Maybe I'll find one since people tell me I'm pretty cute🙂 ...any help would be awesome... thanks

joining a sports club, language classes, local workshops, or even just hitting up the usual dating apps like Tinder or Bumble...