Feeling socially awkward/isolated

I was just wondering what you all think about being antisocial—you know, people who just don't enjoy hanging out with others or going out on the town;

I’m 16 and a half now, and I’ve honestly never gone out to a club or even just grabbed a drink with friends. People still invite me whenever they go out, but I always turn them down. I guess I just don't find it appealing. I'm not really into smoking or drinking, and I don't particularly care for socializing like that. My parents give me a hard time sometimes, asking why I never want to go anywhere, lol, but I just don't feel comfortable in those settings. I can't really be myself there. I'd much rather stay home and watch a movie or something else.

So, is this normal? What’s your take on people like me? I know a lot of people don't really get why I am the way I am.

ps sorry if this is in the wrong section, I'm not quite sure where to post this.

I honestly don't even know where to begin with advice for you. Perhaps you could try heading out for a night with those friends you truly click with, just to see how it feels? But you can't go into it already feeling sour or moody from the jump. You have to head out with a sense of playfulness—just looking for a good time. Or, if that feels too difficult, maybe meet up at a friend's house first to get some laughs going before you even step foot out the door. Try doing this a few times. If it still feels pointless every single time, then just stay home and watch movies instead. If things still haven't improved by the time you turn twenty-four... well, maybe you should consider making experimental films where Trump’s grocery bags take center stage. Just let them drift through the wind...

What led you to make a move like that? I guess, maybe, it’s a matter of self-confidence? Are you feeling a bit unsure of yourself? What exactly is holding you back from taking the leap? I wonder, what's your own take on yourself?

I’ve lost count of how many times this has reminded me of how much of a double-edged sword it can be when you run into people who are just totally antisocial and closed off. You know the type—they act all perfect and polite, but they never want to go out, never want to do anything, just a constant loop of home-work or home-school. They’re basically allergic to the outside world. I see those same kids at 23 or 24 who have just completely snapped. Some of them end up way more volatile than I ever was, though others stay shut down forever. I guess some people say that being that repressed is exactly why they eventually explode, and I’ve even heard some dark theories suggesting there’s a higher correlation between that kind of isolation and certain violent tendencies, though I don't know if that's actually true...

Honestly, I think you’re just an introvert—which, let’s be real, is totally fine. Just do a quick Google search on it and things might start clicking for you. I mean, if you don't feel like going out, why would you? It’s not that deep.

Honestly, I don't have any judgment at all when it comes to people like that. It’s just common sense that we aren't all wired the same way, right? We don't all gravitate toward the same hobbies or social scenes. If you're genuinely convinced that you'd rather skip the crowds and you feel totally content just being "one with yourself," then hey, go for it. Seriously. And if your parents or your buddies can't wrap their heads around the fact that everyone is built differently, then honestly, that's on them, not you.
At the end of the day, you're the one living your life, and if happiness means doing exactly what makes you tick instead of checking boxes to please everyone else, then that's what you should do.
The End

Angela Davis4 said:I honestly don't even know where to begin with advice for you. Perhaps you could try heading out for a night with those friends you truly click with, just to see how it feels? But you can't go into it already feeling sour or moody from the jump. You have to head out with a sense of playfulness—just looking for a good time. Or, if that feels too difficult, maybe meet up at a friend's house first to get some laughs going before you even step foot out the door. Try doing this a few times. If it still feels pointless every single time, then just stay home and watch movies instead. If things still haven't improved by the time you turn twenty-four... well, maybe you should consider making experimental films where Trump’s grocery bags take center stage. Just let them drift through the wind...

It's not that I've never gone out, but whenever I do, I just don't find it fun or feel comfortable in the company I'm with, if I'm being honest.
could be Facebook

stormycrane3 said:What led you to make a move like that? I guess, maybe, it’s a matter of self-confidence? Are you feeling a bit unsure of yourself? What exactly is holding you back from taking the leap? I wonder, what's your own take on yourself?

The choice to stay in? Well, I just don't like going out, so I decided not to do things I don't want to do;
I don't lack confidence, nor am I unsure of myself; everything is fine there;
What's holding me back—that's a good question. I wish I knew the answer, but it just doesn't fit my personality, and that's about it;
I suppose I'm just an ordinary young guy. Nothing is wrong with my life; I enjoy things as much as I can and I'm as happy as can be.

analoghound25 said:I’ve lost count of how many times this has reminded me of how much of a double-edged sword it can be when you run into people who are just totally antisocial and closed off. You know the type—they act all perfect and polite, but they never want to go out, never want to do anything, just a constant loop of home-work or home-school. They’re basically allergic to the outside world. I see those same kids at 23 or 24 who have just completely snapped. Some of them end up way more volatile than I ever was, though others stay shut down forever. I guess some people say that being that repressed is exactly why they eventually explode, and I’ve even heard some dark theories suggesting there’s a higher correlation between that kind of isolation and certain violent tendencies, though I don't know if that's actually true...

I kind of don't believe that, haha. We'll see.

Ethan Rogers said:Honestly, I think you’re just an introvert—which, let’s be real, is totally fine. Just do a quick Google search on it and things might start clicking for you. I mean, if you don't feel like going out, why would you? It’s not that deep.

🙂

Austin Reed42 said:Honestly, I don't have any judgment at all when it comes to people like that. It’s just common sense that we aren't all wired the same way, right? We don't all gravitate toward the same hobbies or social scenes. If you're genuinely convinced that you'd rather skip the crowds and you feel totally content just being "one with yourself," then hey, go for it. Seriously. And if your parents or your buddies can't wrap their heads around the fact that everyone is built differently, then honestly, that's on them, not you.
At the end of the day, you're the one living your life, and if happiness means doing exactly what makes you tick instead of checking boxes to please everyone else, then that's what you should do.
The End

So, yeah, that's my final take,

but I was mostly just curious to see what people—you know, the types who go out all the time—might think about someone like me. I wondered if they had any opinions, whether they thought it was good or bad, or whatever.

stormycrane3 said:What led you to make a move like that? I guess, maybe, it’s a matter of self-confidence? Are you feeling a bit unsure of yourself? What exactly is holding you back from taking the leap? I wonder, what's your own take on yourself?

Why would someone who doesn't care about going out or chasing those things be lacking confidence or feeling insecure? That seems like such shallow thinking... and what about all those people who are constantly out on the town, getting wasted—are they suddenly the ones who are truly confident and secure?🙄you can think what you want

Listen, I went through an identical phase back in high school. 🙂
I spent my time buried in books, watching TV, and just lounging around—sometimes inside, sometimes out in nature with a good read, listening to Bob Dylan. Back then, that was my version of pure hedonism; I was just living for the moment and couldn't care less about anyone else's opinion.

During that stretch, my friends would call me to go out every single time (since I was always the jokester in my small circle), but I’d turn them down constantly. I just didn't see the point.

Then, eventually, I hit a complete reversal where I was out every single weekend. It was absolute madness. But even that phase passed. Now, I've landed somewhere right in the middle.
If you're happy with the phase you're in, stick with it—it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. And if you ask me, I think you're doing great. 🤣

casualsailor6 said:Listen, I went through an identical phase back in high school. 🙂
I spent my time buried in books, watching TV, and just lounging around—sometimes inside, sometimes out in nature with a good read, listening to Bob Dylan. Back then, that was my version of pure hedonism; I was just living for the moment and couldn't care less about anyone else's opinion.

During that stretch, my friends would call me to go out every single time (since I was always the jokester in my small circle), but I’d turn them down constantly. I just didn't see the point.

Then, eventually, I hit a complete reversal where I was out every single weekend. It was absolute madness. But even that phase passed. Now, I've landed somewhere right in the middle.
If you're happy with the phase you're in, stick with it—it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. And if you ask me, I think you're doing great. 🤣

Girls and Comics🙂

I was the exact same way in high school, and honestly, I have the same story as this girl here.

Freshman year of college hits, and suddenly I'm out partying four nights a week. 😁Now, that phase has died down too. I might head out here and there, but it's mostly just because I'm bored, not because I'm actually looking to party.

If you spend your time diving into books, movies, philosophy (or pretty much anything else that makes you grow up faster), it’s totally normal that mindless partying doesn't appeal to you. Nothing weird about that at all. 🙂

A million times over, I'd rather grab a drink and chill by myself (don't do that, though) 😍 or hang out with a girl than go to some club, standing by the bar where the music is so loud you can't even hear the person standing right next to you.

Matthew Wilson50 said:I was just wondering what you all think about being antisocial—you know, people who just don't enjoy hanging out with others or going out on the town;

I’m 16 and a half now, and I’ve honestly never gone out to a club or even just grabbed a drink with friends. People still invite me whenever they go out, but I always turn them down. I guess I just don't find it appealing. I'm not really into smoking or drinking, and I don't particularly care for socializing like that. My parents give me a hard time sometimes, asking why I never want to go anywhere, lol, but I just don't feel comfortable in those settings. I can't really be myself there. I'd much rather stay home and watch a movie or something else.

So, is this normal? What’s your take on people like me? I know a lot of people don't really get why I am the way I am.

ps sorry if this is in the wrong section, I'm not quite sure where to post this.

stormycrane3 said:What led you to make a move like that? I guess, maybe, it’s a matter of self-confidence? Are you feeling a bit unsure of yourself? What exactly is holding you back from taking the leap? I wonder, what's your own take on yourself?

Are you seriously suggesting there has to be some massive, life-altering reason to turn that stuff down🙄?
Drinking, vomiting, and destroying your lungs—yeah, sounds absolutely irresistible... something definitely isn't right with him.🤦

Angela Davis4 said:I honestly don't even know where to begin with advice for you. Perhaps you could try heading out for a night with those friends you truly click with, just to see how it feels? But you can't go into it already feeling sour or moody from the jump. You have to head out with a sense of playfulness—just looking for a good time. Or, if that feels too difficult, maybe meet up at a friend's house first to get some laughs going before you even step foot out the door. Try doing this a few times. If it still feels pointless every single time, then just stay home and watch movies instead. If things still haven't improved by the time you turn twenty-four... well, maybe you should consider making experimental films where Trump’s grocery bags take center stage. Just let them drift through the wind...

Solid post, honestly, until that very last sentence. Like, what's the point? 🤷
It’s pretty obvious you’re just throwing out this fake alternative that doesn't even make sense—either you'll eventually enjoy going out or you're just totally losing it—and your only real goal here is to just trash someone else's perspective and vibe.

I completely hear where you're coming from; I’m cut from the exact same cloth when it comes to this. The only real issue is that most people just don't get it.
Back in high school, my friends used to pressure me to head out every single Friday night. They were incredibly persistent, but I always turned them down because that whole scene of drinking in some random backyard or alleyway never really appealed to me. To this day, they still occasionally invite me to join them, which honestly surprises me since I feel like I've said no a million times already. At first, I’d come up with all sorts of excuses, but eventually, I just had to be blunt and say, "Look, forget it, I simply don't want to go out with you guys; it's not my idea of fun," and leave it at that.
That said, I have a good social circle and we have plenty of fun at college, so there seems to be this automatic assumption that I should also have an active nightlife.
I realize that to most people who live for the party scene, my stance might sound a bit freaky or even abnormal, but from my perspective, it isn't like that at all.
It's not as if I avoided going out because I didn't know what it was like. In fact, I’ve been wasted several times—drunk and high on both cigarettes and weed—and I’ve even dragged myself to clubs (which I generally can't stand, but I went along with it once or twice). My friends considered those nights the absolute peak of entertainment, and even though I acted like I was having a blast, the truth is I didn't have any fun
whatsoever. All of it feels hollow and meaningless to me, and I never actually feel good or happy when I'm intoxicated. If anything, I just become more passive, even when I'm trying to stay engaged. It's even worse if I happen to be sober while everyone else is drunk, so I’ve completely walked away from that lifestyle. There is zero appeal in it for me. And don't even get me started on the hangover the next day; when I do drink, I feel like I have to get completely hammered just to make everything seem remotely enjoyable.

Chris Clark2 said:I completely hear where you're coming from; I’m cut from the exact same cloth when it comes to this. The only real issue is that most people just don't get it.
Back in high school, my friends used to pressure me to head out every single Friday night. They were incredibly persistent, but I always turned them down because that whole scene of drinking in some random backyard or alleyway never really appealed to me. To this day, they still occasionally invite me to join them, which honestly surprises me since I feel like I've said no a million times already. At first, I’d come up with all sorts of excuses, but eventually, I just had to be blunt and say, "Look, forget it, I simply don't want to go out with you guys; it's not my idea of fun," and leave it at that.
That said, I have a good social circle and we have plenty of fun at college, so there seems to be this automatic assumption that I should also have an active nightlife.
I realize that to most people who live for the party scene, my stance might sound a bit freaky or even abnormal, but from my perspective, it isn't like that at all.
It's not as if I avoided going out because I didn't know what it was like. In fact, I’ve been wasted several times—drunk and high on both cigarettes and weed—and I’ve even dragged myself to clubs (which I generally can't stand, but I went along with it once or twice). My friends considered those nights the absolute peak of entertainment, and even though I acted like I was having a blast, the truth is I didn't have any fun
whatsoever. All of it feels hollow and meaningless to me, and I never actually feel good or happy when I'm intoxicated. If anything, I just become more passive, even when I'm trying to stay engaged. It's even worse if I happen to be sober while everyone else is drunk, so I’ve completely walked away from that lifestyle. There is zero appeal in it for me. And don't even get me started on the hangover the next day; when I do drink, I feel like I have to get completely hammered just to make everything seem remotely enjoyable.

The real freaks are the ones hitting the bars every single weekend. To them, the absolute peak of their week is—to quote someone earlier—"drinking until you puke and coughing up a lung." You know the type. Standing around in some dark, smoke-filled dive bar, listening to brain-dead music, nursing a drink while trying to look edgy all night long? Yeah, those people are perfectly "normal," clearly.

Patrick Wright2 said:Solid post, honestly, until that very last sentence. Like, what's the point? 🤷
It’s pretty obvious you’re just throwing out this fake alternative that doesn't even make sense—either you'll eventually enjoy going out or you're just totally losing it—and your only real goal here is to just trash someone else's perspective and vibe.

I’m not out here trying to belittle anyone. If you happen to be a bit eccentric, why should that be viewed as a flaw? Is there anything wrong with experimenting or doing things a little differently? Eventually, you build a reputation and become quite the icon... at least, that was my case when I was his age. However, if you stay stuck in that mindset well past twenty-four, you run the risk of becoming a tedious jerk, much like I am today. You spend all your time complaining about being too brilliant for the people around you, lamenting how no one truly understands you, or claiming that mundane, earthly matters don't interest you the way they do everyone else... it's a pathetic way to live, don't you think?

Angela Davis4 said:I’m not out here trying to belittle anyone. If you happen to be a bit eccentric, why should that be viewed as a flaw? Is there anything wrong with experimenting or doing things a little differently? Eventually, you build a reputation and become quite the icon... at least, that was my case when I was his age. However, if you stay stuck in that mindset well past twenty-four, you run the risk of becoming a tedious jerk, much like I am today. You spend all your time complaining about being too brilliant for the people around you, lamenting how no one truly understands you, or claiming that mundane, earthly matters don't interest you the way they do everyone else... it's a pathetic way to live, don't you think?

I didn't say it was bad, man, I just figured that's what you were getting at based on how you phrased your last post.

Angela Davis4 said:I’m not out here trying to belittle anyone. If you happen to be a bit eccentric, why should that be viewed as a flaw? Is there anything wrong with experimenting or doing things a little differently? Eventually, you build a reputation and become quite the icon... at least, that was my case when I was his age. However, if you stay stuck in that mindset well past twenty-four, you run the risk of becoming a tedious jerk, much like I am today. You spend all your time complaining about being too brilliant for the people around you, lamenting how no one truly understands you, or claiming that mundane, earthly matters don't interest you the way they do everyone else... it's a pathetic way to live, don't you think?

Honestly, everybody's a jerk, it's just that most jerks base their entire right to call other people jerks on the fact that there are more of them.

If you aren't following the crowd, you're obviously gonna be an outsider, and it really comes down to personal maturity—being mature means swimming against the current if that's just who you are, whereas being immature means suppressing your actual character just so you don't look like a jerk to everyone else.

Patrick Wright2 said:I didn't say it was bad, man, I just figured that's what you were getting at based on how you phrased your last post.

Honestly, everybody's a jerk, it's just that most jerks base their entire right to call other people jerks on the fact that there are more of them.

If you aren't following the crowd, you're obviously gonna be an outsider, and it really comes down to personal maturity—being mature means swimming against the current if that's just who you are, whereas being immature means suppressing your actual character just so you don't look like a jerk to everyone else.

I had a feeling you’d come through with such a thoughtful response, though I suppose I practically invited it by how I phrased my last post. We’re both a bit of a mess, aren't we? Even down to sharing the same avatar. But in all seriousness... you gave this newcomer a truly classy answer, and honestly, it resonated with me quite deeply. You have to admit, with that silver hair and beard, you carry yourself with the kind of wisdom that makes even your most casual observations feel profound.

What do I think? Honestly, I wish them nothing but the absolute best! ;D

Angela Davis4 said:I had a feeling you’d come through with such a thoughtful response, though I suppose I practically invited it by how I phrased my last post. We’re both a bit of a mess, aren't we? Even down to sharing the same avatar. But in all seriousness... you gave this newcomer a truly classy answer, and honestly, it resonated with me quite deeply. You have to admit, with that silver hair and beard, you carry yourself with the kind of wisdom that makes even your most casual observations feel profound.

Nah, but I'm definitely on my way to getting there. 😁

Matthew Wilson50 said:I was just wondering what you all think about being antisocial—you know, people who just don't enjoy hanging out with others or going out on the town;

I’m 16 and a half now, and I’ve honestly never gone out to a club or even just grabbed a drink with friends. People still invite me whenever they go out, but I always turn them down. I guess I just don't find it appealing. I'm not really into smoking or drinking, and I don't particularly care for socializing like that. My parents give me a hard time sometimes, asking why I never want to go anywhere, lol, but I just don't feel comfortable in those settings. I can't really be myself there. I'd much rather stay home and watch a movie or something else.

So, is this normal? What’s your take on people like me? I know a lot of people don't really get why I am the way I am.

ps sorry if this is in the wrong section, I'm not quite sure where to post this.

Just live your life however feels right to you... for some people, being surrounded by a crowd is the norm, but for others, it simply isn't... just like how some people find an eight-hour workday perfectly fine while others don't... everyone is going to give you their own subjective take on it. Personally, I'm not much of a social butterfly; I actually find that I spend much higher quality time when I'm by myself... someone will inevitably tell you, "You know, it would be good for you to socialize more"... blah blah blah... but at the end of the day, the most important thing is doing what works for you....