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Is love really blind?

Started by silentpilot6 · · 👁 5 views · 234 replies

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silentpilot6 silentpilot6 RegularOP
295 messages
joined Sep 2004
#1 ·
Reading through that famous controversial thread on Reddit, one question really stuck with me. Is Love actually blind? It probably is deaf and foolish, too...
Initially, I intended to write about women who consciously enter relationships with married men and end up getting burned every single time. They waste years of their lives on some idiot who feeds them lines and promises the moon and stars—promises he almost never keeps. But seeing all the stories posted there, I can't help but wonder if it's just blindness or if people are simply... I'd rather just say they're fools. 😬
I should probably make this personal and reflect on my own past experiences... at one point, I was involved with a married woman. The thing was, she was actually a great person; I genuinely liked her. But the moment I realized this "crush" might turn into something more serious, I walked away. I had no desire to get tangled up in those kinds of situations that almost never have a happy ending.

To get to the point... why do some people allow their partners (and I don't just mean married ones) to treat them like complete fools? Like they're totally blind despite having perfectly good eyesight... essentially, just pushovers.
Where is their logic? Where is their pride? Where is their common sense? Is Love truly blind, deaf, and foolish...
Do people honestly believe that Love conquers all? It doesn't. And even that version of Love (at least the kind we see in these threads) is almost always one-sided.
It’s sad—people suffer, endure pain, and humiliate themselves... they push away friends and family and fall into financial or other messes, all for the sake of people who clearly don't love them back.
loneowl39 loneowl39 Member
17 messages
joined Apr 2009
#2 ·
In most of these instances, what we’re really seeing is desperation masquerading as blind, uncritical idolization of a specific individual.
Arthur Booth96 Arthur Booth96 Active Member
53 messages
joined Feb 2011
#3 ·
Beyond just the sheer desperation, I’d say there’s this deep-seated fear of being alone that drives it all 🤷
It’s almost like a mania; you see so many guys out there who are basically just "yes men," people who are hardwired to fall head over heels and then just blindly follow every single command they're given..
Why does that happen? I guess I don't really know. I'm just relieved I'm not one of those types—the kind who lets themselves be led around by the nose or stays blissfully blind to what's right in front of them.
And honestly, it's pretty funny how the people who *aren't* like that are usually the ones overthinking the whole thing, while the "idiots" actually living it just assume that's perfectly normal :S
silentpilot6 silentpilot6 RegularOP
295 messages
joined Sep 2004
#4 ·
They often end up stuck in that cycle themselves... though sometimes that cycle lasts for years. Maybe they’re just masochists at this point, because instead of finding intimacy in bed, 😁 they spend all their energy fighting through every other broken part of the relationship 🤷
The fear of being alone... sure, it's a factor, but it can't be the *only* reason. When I look at the absolute losers out there in the world, I’d honestly rather stay single forever than be in a relationship with someone who constantly tramples over my dignity and messes with my head.
And then you have that classic "savior complex" syndrome... it’s such a predictable pattern. You find some guy who’s essentially a deadbeat, maybe even one of those struggling "starving artists" 🤣, who also happens to be obsessively jealous and a general nightmare, and she thinks she can somehow guide him onto the right path. She tries to fix him... only to realize in the end that she’s actually the one who needs help.
quietpilot87 quietpilot87 Active Member
149 messages
joined Sep 2008
#5 ·
Everything you guys just said is complete nonsense.
If this was just some basic fear of being alone, people would find it easy enough to settle for anyone who’s actually available and sane—not just someone who's busy or totally messed up. From what I've seen—most of these serial romantics don't even have a shot with a normal person, even though they definitely could be with them.

Look, silentpilot6, if you’ve actually navigated every single relationship in your life with your head screwed on straight, then props to you. 😁

I don't see anything shameful about acting like a total jerk for a while—as long as it's just a phase and not your entire personality. 😁
I mean, if you haven't lost your mind over someone at least once, you probably never had one to begin with. 🤣

So why do people do it? Because they're chasing Love. With a capital L. Everyone does. Always have, always will. They wander around, sniffing around, projecting their expectations onto everyone and everything. And those expectations? Usually delusional, crazy, and completely detached from reality. People say Love is blind, sure. But really, it's not that Love is blind—it's just that the search for it makes the person blind because Love is often much bigger than reality can handle.

Honestly, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s beautiful stuff—that's why people write novels, poems, and all that other crap about it. 😁
The moment it stops being like that, the ego settles down, life gets organized, common sense kicks in, or whatever. And occasionally, you miss that spark you were addicted to when you were younger. 😁
It’s just life—not trying to whine for the sake of it here.

There's no point arguing or judging. Being a mess is a fine topic for me. 🙂

The fact that people are capable of loving so deeply that they forget themselves is way more interesting to me than a bunch of bruised egos. 😬
silentpilot6 silentpilot6 RegularOP
295 messages
joined Sep 2004
#6 ·
If they truly feel zero connection to anyone "normal," then they are simply being irrational 🤷

Whether I’ve lived my whole life acting with complete logic is a difficult question. Perhaps I just possess a subconscious filter 😁 that instinctively weeds out people who might cause me harm, though that isn't always a certainty.
You can dive headfirst into a relationship "without thinking," but eventually, your reason should kick in to provide clarity and perspective.
For instance, my intuition told me to walk away from that married woman... and I have never once regretted that decision.

The idea of "losing one's mind" is also highly debatable. I understand those who lose their heads over someone genuinely kind and high-quality... but those who lose themselves over toxic jerks 😁, parasites, or manipulators 😬 are beyond my comprehension; I cannot understand or justify their actions in any way.
If you’ve been following this thread, you've seen—though there are always two sides to every story—that the people these individuals were obsessing over weren't exactly prizes or social favorites. Often, everyone around them 😁 was explicitly telling them to stay away from certain people... yet it didn't help.
To me, that is what it means to lose your head over a jerk, and it can never be justified.

Searching for Love... honestly, how does anyone actually fall for an obvious jerk? 🤷
Again, I am speaking from my own experience. I’ve had relationships that were "just casual"—I never fell in love.
I’ve also been with people who were clearly unstable, and I never fell for them either.
I’ve dealt with people who tried to manipulate me, and I walked away from them very quickly.
But the women I actually loved never made fools of me.

Regarding that last point, call me cold and calculating if you must 😁, but you should never lose sight of yourself for anyone else... especially not for someone you might be wonderful with today, only to pass them on a street in a year and look the other way. 👎
Morgan Collins20 Morgan Collins20 Newcomer
3 messages
joined Sep 2009
#7 ·
I don't really buy the idea that Love is blind—it feels more like we're just choosing to close our eyes when we first fall... all those little things that eventually end up disappointing us? They were always there, honestly—we either ignored them or just pretended they didn't exist in the first place! 🙂
wiredmoose3 wiredmoose3 Member
30 messages
joined May 2009
#8 ·
Love isn't blind—it sees everything clearly, and it refuses to be misrepresented. It requires reciprocity...
Infatuation and obsession? Those are blind, sure, but they have a remarkably short shelf life...
If you want to understand why people sink into toxic, bottom-of-the-barrel relationships, you have to dig deep into their psyche—specifically, those formative early connections with their parents. Those dynamics shape us subconsciously, creating the blueprint for every relationship that follows. If you know anyone who struggles with this, you'll notice they tend to fall into the same dysfunctional patterns by default—though, of course, it’s possible to break the cycle...
Now, I realize I'm generalizing here—everyone is an individual—but the core truth remains...
Let me clarify that first point: romantic love is inherently selfish. That's just human nature, and there's nothing wrong with it. To truly love someone without demanding, expecting, or needing anything from them—to simply be grateful that they exist—requires reaching a certain level of spiritual maturity. How many people do you actually know who can do that, including yourself? It's not impossible, though...

True Love knows no opposites.
If your love relies on opposites, then it isn't love;
it's just the ego's desperate craving for a more complete and profound
sense of its own selfhood—
a void that a partner temporarily fills.
It is the ego's substitute for salvation.

But eventually, the partner starts acting
differently—they stop meeting your needs, or rather,
they stop feeding the ego's requirements.
The fear, pain, and sense of lack inherent to
the ego—feelings that the "relationship" managed to mask—
begin to resurface.
At that point, you start blaming your partner for those feelings.

Your love doesn't exist externally; it lives deep within you.
You can never lose it, and
it can never leave you.

Eckhart Tolle
redharbor9 redharbor9 Regular
272 messages
joined Aug 2009
#9 ·
There’s actually some neuroresearch on this... when you're feeling that intense Love, activity in your prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain used for reasoning and logic—basically tanks. That's why people are literally blind to reality. 😍

I'll try to dig up the specific paper. It should be on my laptop somewhere, then I can give you the full breakdown..
silentpilot6 silentpilot6 RegularOP
295 messages
joined Sep 2004
#10 ·
It seems some people are just more blind to reality than others 🙂
cosmictinker21 cosmictinker21 Active Member
242 messages
joined Jan 2009
#11 ·
silentpilot6 said:It seems some people are just more blind to reality than others 🙂

Not really... it's more that their value systems and core needs were shaped by different circumstances. If someone spends their formative years—back when they're still figuring out intimacy and what a partnership actually looks like—buried in romance novels instead of actually observing how real relationships function, they tend to get stuck in that romanticized bubble. Often, those "foundations" aren't even theirs; they're just patterns picked up from people nearby, magazines, or poetry where every second verse is about some grand, sweeping passion. When you're young, you don't always see past the romance to the deeper stuff. I mean, Romeo and Juliet isn't just a story about unrequited longing; it dives into much heavier social and emotional complexities. You don't really start grasping those nuances until much later, once you've lived through things beyond just a broken heart. It's especially true if there's very little talk about Love within the family, or any outward signs of affection and intimacy... if those things aren't modeled at home, a young person is left to scavenge for whatever information happens to be most accessible.
quietpilot87 quietpilot87 Active Member
149 messages
joined Sep 2008
#12 ·
silentpilot6 said:If they truly feel zero connection to anyone "normal," then they are simply being irrational 🤷

Whether I’ve lived my whole life acting with complete logic is a difficult question. Perhaps I just possess a subconscious filter 😁 that instinctively weeds out people who might cause me harm, though that isn't always a certainty.
You can dive headfirst into a relationship "without thinking," but eventually, your reason should kick in to provide clarity and perspective.
For instance, my intuition told me to walk away from that married woman... and I have never once regretted that decision.

The idea of "losing one's mind" is also highly debatable. I understand those who lose their heads over someone genuinely kind and high-quality... but those who lose themselves over toxic jerks 😁, parasites, or manipulators 😬 are beyond my comprehension; I cannot understand or justify their actions in any way.
If you’ve been following this thread, you've seen—though there are always two sides to every story—that the people these individuals were obsessing over weren't exactly prizes or social favorites. Often, everyone around them 😁 was explicitly telling them to stay away from certain people... yet it didn't help.
To me, that is what it means to lose your head over a jerk, and it can never be justified.

Searching for Love... honestly, how does anyone actually fall for an obvious jerk? 🤷
Again, I am speaking from my own experience. I’ve had relationships that were "just casual"—I never fell in love.
I’ve also been with people who were clearly unstable, and I never fell for them either.
I’ve dealt with people who tried to manipulate me, and I walked away from them very quickly.
But the women I actually loved never made fools of me.

Regarding that last point, call me cold and calculating if you must 😁, but you should never lose sight of yourself for anyone else... especially not for someone you might be wonderful with today, only to pass them on a street in a year and look the other way. 👎

Good 4 U. I wasn't born with a PhD in consciousness, and I'm not ashamed of it. Yeah, idiots have played me before—I'm claiming my right to be stupid. I think everyone gets a certain number of credits for that. 🙏

It's not about being right all the time; it's about eating a pile of crap so you know better than to do it again next time.
Jamie Reyes73 Jamie Reyes73 Member
17 messages
joined Oct 2009
#13 ·
Quote : Legion
Legion As follows:
Reading through that infamous thread over on Reddit—you know the one—one question just kept hitting me. Is love actually blind? It probably is deaf and stupid, too...
Since you aren't exactly operating with a fully sound mind—or even much reasoning, for that matter—I’ll just say this: love isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Even when it’s mutual—well, damn—it’s just nature, and there's really nothing we can do to control it.
Deciding whether or not to let yourself fall in love—it's a choice, really. A bit of a gamble, if you ask me.
Quote : Legion
silentpilot6 said:Reading through that famous controversial thread on Reddit, one question really stuck with me. Is Love actually blind? It probably is deaf and foolish, too...
Initially, I intended to write about women who consciously enter relationships with married men and end up getting burned every single time. They waste years of their lives on some idiot who feeds them lines and promises the moon and stars—promises he almost never keeps. But seeing all the stories posted there, I can't help but wonder if it's just blindness or if people are simply... I'd rather just say they're fools. 😬
I should probably make this personal and reflect on my own past experiences... at one point, I was involved with a married woman. The thing was, she was actually a great person; I genuinely liked her. But the moment I realized this "crush" might turn into something more serious, I walked away. I had no desire to get tangled up in those kinds of situations that almost never have a happy ending.

To get to the point... why do some people allow their partners (and I don't just mean married ones) to treat them like complete fools? Like they're totally blind despite having perfectly good eyesight... essentially, just pushovers.
Where is their logic? Where is their pride? Where is their common sense? Is Love truly blind, deaf, and foolish...
Do people honestly believe that Love conquers all? It doesn't. And even that version of Love (at least the kind we see in these threads) is almost always one-sided.
It’s sad—people suffer, endure pain, and humiliate themselves... they push away friends and family and fall into financial or other messes, all for the sake of people who clearly don't love them back.

People aren't stupid. 😁
Quote : Legion
silentpilot6 said:Reading through that famous controversial thread on Reddit, one question really stuck with me. Is Love actually blind? It probably is deaf and foolish, too...
Initially, I intended to write about women who consciously enter relationships with married men and end up getting burned every single time. They waste years of their lives on some idiot who feeds them lines and promises the moon and stars—promises he almost never keeps. But seeing all the stories posted there, I can't help but wonder if it's just blindness or if people are simply... I'd rather just say they're fools. 😬
I should probably make this personal and reflect on my own past experiences... at one point, I was involved with a married woman. The thing was, she was actually a great person; I genuinely liked her. But the moment I realized this "crush" might turn into something more serious, I walked away. I had no desire to get tangled up in those kinds of situations that almost never have a happy ending.

To get to the point... why do some people allow their partners (and I don't just mean married ones) to treat them like complete fools? Like they're totally blind despite having perfectly good eyesight... essentially, just pushovers.
Where is their logic? Where is their pride? Where is their common sense? Is Love truly blind, deaf, and foolish...
Do people honestly believe that Love conquers all? It doesn't. And even that version of Love (at least the kind we see in these threads) is almost always one-sided.
It’s sad—people suffer, endure pain, and humiliate themselves... they push away friends and family and fall into financial or other messes, all for the sake of people who clearly don't love them back.

So that’s your "moral" standard—the line you refuse to cross...
We aren't all cut from the same cloth—for instance, I find pride to be just as much of a useless distraction as...
And love... when you're falling, that chemical rush takes over—you aren't quite yourself anymore. Tell me—have you ever actually been there?
Is he in love?

Quote : Legion
Legion As follows:
Do people actually believe love conquers all? It doesn't—and even that idealized version of love we see in movies is almost always a one-way street.
People end up suffering, making fools of themselves... tossing away friends and family, or tanking their finances and lives, all for someone who clearly doesn't give a damn about them.
Love is just an evolutionary drive inside us... you can't argue with the biology.
It’s what pushes you to find a partner and reproduce—damn it. 😍
Drew Morgan Drew Morgan Active Member
189 messages
joined Aug 2009
#14 ·
silentpilot6 said:It seems some people are just more blind to reality than others 🙂

I find you far more interesting than those hacks, who all agreed this was nothing more than a temporary bout of madness.

The truth is, you’re constantly, without fail, outraged by things you don't grasp, while insisting on your own magical, perfectly logical stance on everything under the sun.

By your logic, an anorexic could easily bulk up just by being told that guys don't like that look because skinny isn't sexy (it's like telling a driver to stop idling if they want to save gas—common sense exists). 😍

Give it a rest! 😂
coastaltrucker16 coastaltrucker16 Newcomer
8 messages
joined Sep 2009
#15 ·
silentpilot6 said:Reading through that famous controversial thread on Reddit, one question really stuck with me. Is Love actually blind? It probably is deaf and foolish, too...
Initially, I intended to write about women who consciously enter relationships with married men and end up getting burned every single time. They waste years of their lives on some idiot who feeds them lines and promises the moon and stars—promises he almost never keeps. But seeing all the stories posted there, I can't help but wonder if it's just blindness or if people are simply... I'd rather just say they're fools. 😬
I should probably make this personal and reflect on my own past experiences... at one point, I was involved with a married woman. The thing was, she was actually a great person; I genuinely liked her. But the moment I realized this "crush" might turn into something more serious, I walked away. I had no desire to get tangled up in those kinds of situations that almost never have a happy ending.

To get to the point... why do some people allow their partners (and I don't just mean married ones) to treat them like complete fools? Like they're totally blind despite having perfectly good eyesight... essentially, just pushovers.
Where is their logic? Where is their pride? Where is their common sense? Is Love truly blind, deaf, and foolish...
Do people honestly believe that Love conquers all? It doesn't. And even that version of Love (at least the kind we see in these threads) is almost always one-sided.
It’s sad—people suffer, endure pain, and humiliate themselves... they push away friends and family and fall into financial or other messes, all for the sake of people who clearly don't love them back.

After all these deep philosophical posts that make me want to gag,🤣 I think this right here is the real issue.
copperfox22 copperfox22 Active Member
75 messages
joined Feb 2008
#16 ·
quietpilot87 said:Good 4 U. I wasn't born with a PhD in consciousness, and I'm not ashamed of it. Yeah, idiots have played me before—I'm claiming my right to be stupid. I think everyone gets a certain number of credits for that. 🙏

It's not about being right all the time; it's about eating a pile of crap so you know better than to do it again next time.

🤣🤣🤣 🙏

Honestly, I’d much rather be out on a rowing shell on the Potomac at sunset than dealing with any of this. 😁

But hey, I can't complain 😍...God help those who haven't suffered for love. 🙂
velvetrider velvetrider Active Member
52 messages
joined Aug 2009
#17 ·
silentpilot6 said:Reading through that famous controversial thread on Reddit, one question really stuck with me. Is Love actually blind? It probably is deaf and foolish, too...
Initially, I intended to write about women who consciously enter relationships with married men and end up getting burned every single time. They waste years of their lives on some idiot who feeds them lines and promises the moon and stars—promises he almost never keeps. But seeing all the stories posted there, I can't help but wonder if it's just blindness or if people are simply... I'd rather just say they're fools. 😬
I should probably make this personal and reflect on my own past experiences... at one point, I was involved with a married woman. The thing was, she was actually a great person; I genuinely liked her. But the moment I realized this "crush" might turn into something more serious, I walked away. I had no desire to get tangled up in those kinds of situations that almost never have a happy ending.

To get to the point... why do some people allow their partners (and I don't just mean married ones) to treat them like complete fools? Like they're totally blind despite having perfectly good eyesight... essentially, just pushovers.
Where is their logic? Where is their pride? Where is their common sense? Is Love truly blind, deaf, and foolish...
Do people honestly believe that Love conquers all? It doesn't. And even that version of Love (at least the kind we see in these threads) is almost always one-sided.
It’s sad—people suffer, endure pain, and humiliate themselves... they push away friends and family and fall into financial or other messes, all for the sake of people who clearly don't love them back.

I mean, love is about trust—it isn't blind. It’s more about how much you’re actually willing to risk by letting someone in, I guess. And common sense is definitely in the mix; it’s kind of what keeps you from totally breaking down.
Love needs two people, right? You can't have a monologue, whether you're talking or just thinking.
..time.. sometimes all it takes is just one moment, nothing more.
And pride... good grief, you should be proud of things that matter, but maybe not when it comes to love.
Drew Morgan Drew Morgan Active Member
189 messages
joined Aug 2009
#18 ·
velvetrider, try actually reading this entire thread before speaking. It isn't about love; it’s a temporary bout of madness that people are now trying to explain away with critical rationalism.
velvetrider velvetrider Active Member
52 messages
joined Aug 2009
#19 ·
Vess Vess—it’s not like there’s some temporary madness going on with people who love... I mean, that’s just stuff you tell kids, really. They actually let it happen.
.. there are these substitutes for love, I guess.
You hear all sorts of stories, and honestly, if anyone actually had the guts to lay everything out on the table, things probably would've ended up differently.
I think some of those stories might actually catch you off guard—you just have to be brave enough to love.
Drew Morgan Drew Morgan Active Member
189 messages
joined Aug 2009
#20 ·
No. This is a much more complex mechanism. First off, have you even been following that thread? If not, you have no idea what’s actually going on there. It isn't about love—believe me—it's pure, unadulterated temporary insanity. Go read the thread and see for yourself.

Those women didn't just "dare to love"—they stepped far beyond the boundaries of love, reason, and anything remotely recognizable in a sane universe.

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