Part 2: What's the next move?

Continuing the conversation.

First topic.

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Ghostbusters said:I’ve been sitting here for ages, debating whether I should actually post this or just keep it all to myself.

To make a long story short: I’m dealing with a rare disease. If I don't stay on top of it and maintain strict self-control, it can actually lead to cancer as early as age 30. The real kicker is that it's genetic—every single one of my descendants will inherit it (on one side of the family, at least).

I’m posting this because I used to be pretty much on the fence about whether having kids was worth it, but now? I'm certain. I definitely don't want children—at least, not my own. I just can't stomach the idea of risking a child's future like that. I refuse to live with the thought of them facing something like cancer in their 30s.

I’m posting this because I’m genuinely curious... how many women would actually put up with that? Specifically, how badly do women want kids? Like, would they actually be okay with someone else's genes instead of their partner's?

Hope you guys caught that! I think that’s enough to get things started. If any interesting questions pop up, I'll definitely jump back in to chat.

I'd also like to ask the moderators to please keep this thread right where it is. Thanks in advance! — Ghostbusters

Following up on those two threads.

I'll start with this one.

Most people here have been pretty brutal to me in this thread, throwing all sorts of insults my way. But today, I got the "confirmation" I was dreading. The geneticist at the Mayo Clinic told me she’s 98% sure I have hereditary familial polyposis, which means there's a massive chance I'll develop cancer sooner or later. I'm waiting on some more results right now, then I'm sending tissue samples over to a lab in England for full genetic testing. My doctor is basically certain the test will come back positive. It’s a mess. I’ve had four different doctors so far, and they can't even agree on what to do. One group wants to perform a total colectomy—basically gutting the colon and rerouting everything through the small intestine. Another group just wants to cauterize the area and leave me at the mercy of whatever the genetics say. The scary part is that I still have some of these polyps, and they could turn cancerous any minute. When you have this many polyps and a suspected genetic link, things can go south incredibly fast. Anyway, the geneticist put me on high doses of aspirin because the active ingredient helps prevent the polyps from turning malignant—but obviously, it's not a silver bullet. The catch? It’s going to wreck my stomach, and the whole method is super risky if it isn't monitored constantly. Then there's the third nightmare: if the test comes back positive, there's a 50/50 chance my future kids will have it too. So, practically speaking, having children is off the table. Real great news to wrap up my 23rd birthday. I don't want to die at 23 without actually living. I still want to chase my crazy dreams and change the world, no matter how insane that sounds.

New thread.

Ghostbusters

Ghostbusters said:Honestly? I’m just lost. My feelings about everything are all over the place—total bipolar swings. One minute, I’m ready to ditch therapy entirely because I feel like nothing is working anymore. Then, the next minute, I'm thinking about starting an antidepressant. The thing is... my body has been completely wrecked for a while now, and I’m just not feeling like myself.

I’ve been offline for about a month and a half. Honestly, I just needed to step back and process everything. Of course, that decision turned out to be a total roller coaster ride straight to hell. I know deep down that talking things through is how I solve my problems, and I actually started seeing some people a while ago, which has been okay. But I’m still not happy. I truly want to become the best version of myself—to be someone who actually deserves this life instead of just wasting it every single day. I know I can get there, I just can't see the path forward yet.

Quick question for the group: is depression actually a "physical" illness? I've tried various antidepressants and antipsychotics, but nothing makes me feel better. Either I'm incredibly aggressive on them, or I end up sleeping for three days straight. Is there any chance an antidepressant will actually work for me eventually?

I'm still in a mental fog, and after today's results, things feel even worse. My doctor recommended a few new meds (Azolar, Misar, and Effexor). So, I wanted to ask if anyone here has any reviews or experiences with those. I'm still on 15mg of Zyprexa (olanzapine), and man, I sleep like the dead for 15 hours at a time... she lowered it to 10 yesterday, so we'll see. Depending on how that goes, I'll figure out my next move. Basically, I don't even feel the Zyprexa working; I feel exactly the same as when I first saw a psychiatrist. After nearly four years of treatment, it feels like I'm right back at square one. 😢

Ask away if you have questions, and I'll keep posting.

So, you don't want kids? Look, there are plenty of women out there who feel the exact same way—so don't sweat that part. Just make sure you're crystal clear about it from the jump, you know? You don't want someone sitting around hoping you'll change your mind later.

Regarding those hereditary issues... it's a mess. Does it help at all knowing you've got ninety-eight percent of the answer, or are you still holding out for that final two percent of certainty?

Whatever you do, don't drop the treatment plan. Stick with it—and seriously, lean on mental health support. That should really be the baseline for anything this serious—therapy, meds, the whole works. Dealing with this is an absolute grind, even if it were something minor, but from what I can tell, what you're facing is pretty damn heavy.

Christian Wilson28 said:So, you don't want kids? Look, there are plenty of women out there who feel the exact same way—so don't sweat that part. Just make sure you're crystal clear about it from the jump, you know? You don't want someone sitting around hoping you'll change your mind later.

Regarding those hereditary issues... it's a mess. Does it help at all knowing you've got ninety-eight percent of the answer, or are you still holding out for that final two percent of certainty?

Whatever you do, don't drop the treatment plan. Stick with it—and seriously, lean on mental health support. That should really be the baseline for anything this serious—therapy, meds, the whole works. Dealing with this is an absolute grind, even if it were something minor, but from what I can tell, what you're facing is pretty damn heavy.

There's a massive difference between choosing not to have kids and simply being unable to. I'd love to have a child, but gambling with cancer just isn't an option for me.

I'd love to find some love. Honestly, I think having someone would pull me out of this absolute mess I'm in, because things are pretty bad. Just to have someone to actually talk to. Most of my friends—well, ex-friends now—gave up on me a long time ago. I'm so lonely I feel like I'm losing my grip and going crazy. I really don't know anymore...

It's a little easier now that I know what we're dealing with. I don't technically need a hundred percent guarantee, but I'm still going to wait for that final confirmation. Either way, it's going to wreck me. No way around it. 😬

Staying on Zyprexa is definitely off the table at this point; I have to try something else. The problem is, when I'm on antidepressants, I either get aggressive or they just knock me flat. My doctor mentioned she might eventually put me on a tiny dose of Effexor, maybe 37.5 mg.

goldenotter9 said:There's a massive difference between choosing not to have kids and simply being unable to. I'd love to have a child, but gambling with cancer just isn't an option for me.

I'd love to find some love. Honestly, I think having someone would pull me out of this absolute mess I'm in, because things are pretty bad. Just to have someone to actually talk to. Most of my friends—well, ex-friends now—gave up on me a long time ago. I'm so lonely I feel like I'm losing my grip and going crazy. I really don't know anymore...

It's a little easier now that I know what we're dealing with. I don't technically need a hundred percent guarantee, but I'm still going to wait for that final confirmation. Either way, it's going to wreck me. No way around it. 😬

Staying on Zyprexa is definitely off the table at this point; I have to try something else. The problem is, when I'm on antidepressants, I either get aggressive or they just knock me flat. My doctor mentioned she might eventually put me on a tiny dose of Effexor, maybe 37.5 mg.

To be honest, I totally get how you feel. I've been in that exact same spot (and sometimes I still am), where you need people the most and they just leave you hanging when things get rough.
If you ever need anything, my inbox is always open—whether you want to kill some time, vent and cry, or just talk about whatever. Please don't take this the wrong way; I'm not saying this out of pity. I just want to help however I can, because I know firsthand how much it means to have someone standing by your side no matter what.

Bradley Bennett22 said:To be honest, I totally get how you feel. I've been in that exact same spot (and sometimes I still am), where you need people the most and they just leave you hanging when things get rough.
If you ever need anything, my inbox is always open—whether you want to kill some time, vent and cry, or just talk about whatever. Please don't take this the wrong way; I'm not saying this out of pity. I just want to help however I can, because I know firsthand how much it means to have someone standing by your side no matter what.

Thanks, I'll definitely keep you in mind. I'm actually in the middle of a long conversation with someone else right now, so I'm not sure how much time I'll have. Really appreciate it though. 🙂

Same goes for you—reach out! I just hope I can actually be helpful, since I'm no expert when it comes to giving advice.

I'll definitely hit you up once I find some free time. 🙂