Small town girl

Alright, I need some help here. For real. My friend and I are planning a little sabotage. We’ve got this colleague—total yuppie, a "high-class wannabe" idiot who spends his lunch breaks acting all precious over a salad or hitting up a luxury spa for a quick 15-minute zen session. He actually thinks he's intellectually superior, some kind of visionary artist... basically thinks he's the reincarnation of Sartre. So, get this: he says he wants to introduce us to his crew. Apparently, they're all these super smart, hot guys who can't stand anything "low-class." Well, since this guy drives us absolutely insane, we want to totally discredit him. If we act crude enough, his "brilliant and handsome" friends will realize he's actually hanging out with total bottom-feeders.
So, what's the move? How do we lean into being absolute savages? How should we talk? What topics should we bring up? What's the outfit? Where should we hang out to make sure we look the part?
(P.S: Don't let the girls from the Midwest take offense at the title)

granitebadger17 said:Alright, I need some serious help here—for real. My friend and I are plotting a little sabotage. We have this colleague who is the ultimate yuppie, a total "high-class wannabe" kind of guy. He’s always preening himself while picking at his organic salad during lunch breaks or ducking off to a luxury spa for a quick fifteen-minute meditation session, all while acting like he’s intellectually superior to everyone else—basically convinced he's the reincarnation of Sartre. Anyway, he keeps talking about introducing us to his inner circle, claiming they’re all brilliant, attractive guys who can't stand anything unrefined. Well, since this guy is driving us absolutely insane, we want to discredit him. If we show up looking completely uncultured, his "sophisticated" friends will realize he actually hangs out with a bunch of low-rent hooligans.
So, what’s the game plan? How do we lean into being the ultimate rednecks? How should we talk? What topics should we bring up? What’s the dress code? Where should we hang out to really sell the act?
(P.S.: Please don't let any small-town girls take offense at the title!)

Honestly, just the concept behind this question is primitive enough on its own. You clearly aren't afraid of anything! ☕

I’d just hand them ten bottled beers each—no glasses involved because I’m not in the mood for the mess—say my peace, and head out.

Besides, you’ll come out ahead if you leave them sitting there soaked and miserable while they foot the bill for your drinks.

granitebadger17 said:How are we supposed to act? What do we even say? What do we wear? Where do we go out?
(P.S: Don't let the small-town girls take offense at the title)

just don't bother getting dressed... and don't say anything stupider than what you usually say (otherwise they'll toss you straight into some psych ward) ... honestly, just be yourselves and try not to screw up. . . you can even fight amongst yourselves about who's screwing over whom if you feel like it.

granitebadger17 said:Alright, I need some help here—and I mean serious, tactical advice. My partner and I are planning a little bit of sabotage. We have this coworker who is the ultimate yuppie, a total "high-class wannabe" idiot who spends his lunch breaks condescendingly grooming himself while eating a tiny salad or ducking out for a quick fifteen-minute session at a luxury spa, all while convinced he’s some kind of intellectual heavyweight or an artistic visionary—basically, he thinks he’s the reincarnation of Sartre. Now, he keeps bragging about wanting to introduce us to his inner circle, claiming they're all brilliant, attractive guys who can't stand anything they deem "low-class." Well, since this guy drives us absolutely insane, we want to discredit him by making sure his "sophisticated" friends realize he actually hangs out with total bottom-feeders.
So, what’s the play? How do we act like the biggest hillbillies possible? What should our vocabulary look like? What do we talk about? How do we dress? Where should we hang out to make sure we hit the mark?
(P.S.: Don't let any small-town girls take offense at the title)

With attitudes and mindsets like that, you really shouldn't have anything to worry about...🙄

Casey Johnson5 said:...you could basically have a massive argument over which one of them is screwing whom more aggressively.

Sandra James88 said:with attitudes and mindsets like that, you really shouldn't be worrying about anything at all...🙄

😂 😂 😂

not much left to say here, 😂 😂 😂 😂

just stick your finger up your nose and pull out a massive capitalist... honestly, I think that’d be enough to prove you guys are just total Neanderthals 😍

Mark Martinez4 said:The whole premise is pretty basic. You aren't even scared ☕

Look, I get it, but if I’m being "basic" and "dumb," then I’m definitely not being creative... someone just toss me some ideas here...

Sandra James88 said:with an attitude like that, you really shouldn't be worrying about anything...🙄

then throw out a real suggestion...stop just calling us primitive...we already know that...😉

granitebadger17 said:Look, I get it, but if I'm just basic and lacking brains, I'm definitely not winning any awards for creativity... someone please just throw some ideas my way...

man, for real, we've told you three damn times already—stop overthinking it. Just be yourself and you won't have any issues. Period.

Yawn without covering your mouth, constantly humming aspirin into your chin, interrupting conversations, being pushy, talking too loud, using profanity. Spreading your legs, aggressively adjusting your cleavage... Anything else? 🤣

Jack Price34 said:Just yawn—don't bother covering your mouth. Constantly hum Bayer under your breath while stroking your chin, jump into every conversation, be loud, use profanity. Spread your legs, aggressively adjust your cleavage... what else you got? 🤣

That’s the standard... bravo. Let's get real here. Or maybe we can add even more if you're feeling ambitious (or if you think you should...)

Jack Price34 said:Just yawn without covering your mouth, constantly hum "aspirin" under your breath while stroking your chin, jump into every conversation, be super pushy, talk way too loud, and throw out some curse words. Spread your legs, aggressively adjust your cleavage... What else should I add? 🤣

Wait until you see how much guys fall for that stuff 😂 😂 😂

Man, she's hot. I’d marry her in a heartbeat 🙂

😂

granitebadger17 said:Okay, I seriously need some help here. My partner and I are planning a little sabotage. We have this coworker who is the ultimate "wannabe high-society" douchebag—he spends his lunch breaks acting all precious over a salad or ducking off to a luxury spa for a quick 15-minute zen session, thinking he’s some intellectual mastermind or an artistic visionary—basically convinced he’s the reincarnation of Jean-Paul Sartre. Anyway, he keeps talking about introducing us to his "inner circle," claiming they're all brilliant, attractive guys who can't stand anything unrefined. Since this guy drives us absolutely insane, we want to totally discredit him. If his "sophisticated" friends see him hanging out with a bunch of total low-class losers, he'll be mortified.
So, what do you suggest? How do we act as unrefined as possible? How should we talk? What topics should we bring up? What's the outfit? Where should we hang out?
(P.S.: Please don't let any girls from small towns take the title personally)

You already said it yourself... just keep being dim-witted and mindless... act like a total Barbie doll in a shop window... that's exactly what those snobs crave... throw on some rural folk gear... slap on bright red lipstick and paint your nails... and just sit there silent, nodding your head like a bobblehead like a complete airhead...
THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS TO JUST BE WHO YOU ARE... primitive and twisted.

granitebadger17 said:Look, I know I am—but if I’m being totally honest, I'm lacking a bit of creative spark here—so please, someone, help me out with some actual ideas...

Maybe just knock back half a bottle of bourbon and take a long, aimless stroll along the coastline☕

granitebadger17 said:That’s what we need here... bravo. Let's stick to the facts. Or maybe even more if you feel like it (or should say it, I suppose).

Exactly. It's all "yeah," "nope," "this way," "hey," but then they insist on using "is seekin'" instead of just asking for something. 🙏 Like, "The local deli is seekin' your phone number." 🤣

What does that even have to do with the Fed? 🤔

Ethan Jackson6 said:You said enough... just keep being dim and mindless... act like a doll in a shop window... that's exactly what guys like you are looking for... put on some fancy dress... slap on some red lipstick and paint your nails... then just shut up and nod along like a zombie...
The only thing that actually matters in this life is being exactly who you are... primitive and twisted...

Just imagine the sheer hypocrisy when someone tries to tell you...🙂Look at you, acting like a total moron... whatever. Honestly, let’s just move past me—it's not worth the breath. I guess some people just live for that whole submissive thing, and frankly, that's why certain women stay stuck in that mindset...

granitegull99 said:What does that even have to do with the local school board? 🤔

Oh, it’s connected—indirectly. I mean, would anyone—literally anyone—be attracted to a girl like that if she was just some farm kid from out in the sticks?

hollowmason64 said:Just wait until these guys actually get their act together. 😂 😂 😂

She looks good enough to marry. 🙂

😂

I had someone like that once. It never bothered me. 😍