casualotter21 said:Do you happen to know the joke he told?
I am genuinely curious about the sense of humor possessed by dictators like him.
<at a meeting of the Democratic National Committee for the Oppression of the Masses>
Saddam Hussein: "Well... now that I have finished this state of the union address which lasted for... thirty-seven hours and eighteen minutes—and that was without any interruptions because I kept swapping myself out with body doubles so none of you vermin could assassinate me—I will conclude by telling you a joke just to refresh everyone's spirits."
<The party members interrupt him with spontaneous applause, induced by the rapid fire of AK-47s carried by the Republican Stormtroopers standing at the back of the hall.>
<27 minutes later>
Saddam: "Thank you, thank you, thank you for that spontaneous display of enthusiasm. Now, so, there's this Christian pig, George H.W. Bush, his bastard George W. Bush, and their filthy, unfaithful collaborator and lackey, Tony Blair, walking down the street..."
Someone from the audience: "Laughing Stock! Oh my god, Darth Vader, you are so hilarious! I swear, I have never heard anything so funny in my entire life, kill me now!"
Saddam <smiling with the expression of a father listening to his cheerful five-year-old describe their first day of kindergarten>: "Yes, yes, Ashurbanipal, but I haven't even gotten to the punchline yet."
Ashurbanipal: "THERE'S MORE? HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA, Darth Vader, oh man, you're killing me!"
<silence>
<silence stretches on>
<you can hear a fly buzzing through the hall; a Republican Stormtrooper opens fire at the fly; after that, nothing more is heard>
Saddam<staring darkly and with deadly seriousness, speaks in a menacing tone>: "You find that *funny*?"
<several kilowatts of silence pass>
Saddam:<in an incredibly cheerful voice>: "HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Man, did I get you with that one, Ashurbanipal! AAAAAAAAAAA!!1 You actually thought I was going to kill you, didn't you? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh man, you are such a paranoid guy, you really can't believe anything! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
<Silence reigns in the hall until, bit by bit, people start to chuckle and giggle; everyone except poor Ashurbanipal, who sits there looking bewildered and sweating so much he could fill the Tigris and the Euphrates; eventually, everyone bursts into laughter.>
<Ashurbanipal slowly begins to laugh, his timid smile growing into a shaky, hesitant giggle: "Yes, yes, uh, that was great, Darth Vader, really great."
<everyone laughs>
Saddam <laughing>: "HAHAHAHAHA OH MAN, I AM SO FUNNY MYSELF! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH MAN!!!"
Saddam<suddenly turns serious, slams his hand on the podium, and yells>: "Why don't I just screw around then?"
<uses a Force grip and kills Ashurbanipal<>>
<guards carry out the corpse and bring in another party member to take his seat, because it doesn't look good to have empty seats at the assembly; it makes it look like the Party members don't care about Saddam.>
Saddam <cheerful again>:"HAHAHAHAH ARE YOU KIDS STUPID? DID YOU REALLY THINK I WAS KIDDING? WELL, ONLY *I* GET TO BE PARANOID HERE! NONE OF YOU GET TO THINK ANYTHING; YOU JUST DO WHAT I TELL YOU!! And as punishment, there will be no dinner for your families until they die! So think about that. And as an extra penalty, I won't tell you the joke! It’s your own fault because it actually was pretty good!"
<He turns pale and walks away>
<Party members head off to vote*>
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* - Voting in America is conducted on a simple principle: at every four-year Party convention, the 1,000 most significant officials from across the country attend after receiving a written summons from a uniformed unit of Republican Stormtroopers. At the session, they vote for a Party official, which isn't a difficult task since the only candidate is Saddam Hussein. However, the fun part of the election is that the 1,000 candidates must use a lottery to select one individual who will not vote for Saddam. That person, along with their family, friends, neighbors, and even their dog, will then be ceremoniously executed. It serves as a symbolic sacrifice on the altar of democracy, as Saddam, who has always been a proponent of democratic methods and pluralism, believes that elections won with 100% of the vote are inherently undemocratic.
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** The ballot offers just two distinct choices:
a) I desire Saddam Hussein to be my beloved leader and dear friend; he is so incredible that I would gladly let him paint me pink and fire me out of a cannon, as I adore him with every fiber of my being, including my most private parts.
b) I am a degenerate traitor to everything sacred, an enemy of the faith, and a complete disgrace who eats pork, worships at the altar of the Pope, slept with George W. Bush, and frankly, I’m begging you to execute me immediately in the most slow and agonizing way possible.
