What happened to Bon-ton?

gentlescout70 said:Where on earth has all sense of decorum vanished to? I find myself wondering about the younger generation and even their parents, who seem increasingly unable—or perhaps simply unwilling—to instill even the slightest shred of etiquette in them, mostly because they themselves have lost touch with those very standards, even though such rules naturally shift depending on whether you're in Chicago or New York. When I speak of this disappearance, I don't mean that manners have been wiped off the face of the earth entirely, but rather that they have become an exceedingly rare commodity. Why has it become the accepted norm to act with total disregard for social graces, only to have the person actually trying to behave properly met with judgmental glares? This topic touches upon more than just the decline of politeness; from my perspective, it encompasses the vanishing of all those subtle, beautiful elements of life that we simply don't value anymore—everything from the quality of music to how one chooses to spend their day, right down to the most minute details of social conduct. It seems that for the vast majority, superficial, low-quality nonsense holds far more weight than anything possessing actual substance. For instance, why bother hosting a major tennis tournament in Paris if the crowd lacks the basic decency to remain quiet during a game? Why is aggressive behavior tolerated so easily now? Why is it considered acceptable for historic downtown districts to be defaced by graffiti, or for counterfeit Ralph Lauren goods to flood the market and be purchased by people who wouldn't know the real thing if it hit them? I could go on forever. Honestly, it feels as though we are overdue for a comet to sweep through and thin out ninety percent of the population. Perhaps since the masses refuse to appreciate true quality, those of us who still do can take solace in our small numbers, but one has to wonder... why...

rustymaker5 said:Yeah, yeah... I just stumbled upon some old-school American etiquette rules, and it says right there: "At the dinner table, you shouldn't be cracking crude jokes, and it’s even less wise to try and play comedian with domestic political topics, unless you want to get kicked out of the restaurant."

It seems like even our grandfathers had their issues with things like Bon-ton, and honestly, the topics they were arguing about weren't all that different from what we deal with today... 😁

Jonathan Brooks8 said:Bon-ton represents an informal set of social graces—essentially a guide to ensuring our daily interactions remain seamless and polite... it evolves naturally from the practical realities of human connection... its core mission is to foster a sense of community by prioritizing the collective good over individual whims, among other things.
Those who fail to observe these unspoken rules won't find themselves facing a judge in a courtroom, but they might very well face the quiet judgment of their peers—being labeled as unrefined or simply lacking class.

Furthermore, etiquette is a living thing; it shifts alongside a society that is constantly evolving—meaning certain protocols that seemed vital yesterday might lose their relevance or vanish entirely today.
There has always been a certain outcry whenever these standards are breached—though, if you think about it, that very backlash is actually a testament to how much those rules still matter, rather than a sign that they’ve become obsolete.

In my view, however, one of the primary reasons why the sense of duty toward these social graces is eroding is the rise of a modern movement—almost a crusade, really—that champions individual rights and self-interest at the direct expense of the community's needs.
It brings to mind that persistent, ubiquitous slogan we see everywhere: "Because you're worth it"...

Jonathan Brooks8 said:Bon-ton represents an informal set of social graces—essentially a guide to ensuring our daily interactions remain seamless and polite... it evolves naturally from the practical realities of human connection... its core mission is to foster a sense of community by prioritizing the collective good over individual whims, among other things.
Those who fail to observe these unspoken rules won't find themselves facing a judge in a courtroom, but they might very well face the quiet judgment of their peers—being labeled as unrefined or simply lacking class.

Furthermore, etiquette is a living thing; it shifts alongside a society that is constantly evolving—meaning certain protocols that seemed vital yesterday might lose their relevance or vanish entirely today.
There has always been a certain outcry whenever these standards are breached—though, if you think about it, that very backlash is actually a testament to how much those rules still matter, rather than a sign that they’ve become obsolete.

In my view, however, one of the primary reasons why the sense of duty toward these social graces is eroding is the rise of a modern movement—almost a crusade, really—that champions individual rights and self-interest at the direct expense of the community's needs.
It brings to mind that persistent, ubiquitous slogan we see everywhere: "Because you're worth it"...

rustymaker5 said:Yeah, yeah... I just stumbled upon some old-school American etiquette rules, and it says right there: "At the dinner table, you shouldn't be cracking crude jokes, and it’s even less wise to try and play comedian with domestic political topics, unless you want to get kicked out of the restaurant."

It seems like even our grandfathers had their issues with things like Bon-ton, and honestly, the topics they were arguing about weren't all that different from what we deal with today... 😁

dustyangler43 said:I honestly feel like those old-school standards of etiquette and decorum—along with all those other classic traditions—are just evaporating. We’re seeing a whole new generation step up, people who are raising their own kids without ever having been taught those foundational basics themselves. You can tell almost instantly upon meeting someone whether they belong to the "free-spirited and modern" crowd or if they actually come from that more traditional, old-school background.

Mark Torres14;20744230 said:They’re essentially creating their own social etiquette.
"It is quite fascinating how their codes of conduct, their behavior, and the way they measure social standing and hierarchy are incredibly rigid and clearly defined. What might seem like deviant behavior to an outsider is actually just a direct consequence of the stratification within their specific subculture or group."

I want to focus specifically on those BBB hooligans... Look, I’m not a huge football fan—honestly, I'm not much of a sports guy at all—but isn't it just plain idiotic to claim, "I go to the game for the ball, the players, or the social scene," when in reality you're just there to bash the first person you don't like in the head or smash a streetcar?

It’s pretty grim, though they aren't the only ones. When I look at those certain girls—you know, the high school crowd nowadays... honestly, it makes me shudder to think that those are the women who will become our future wives and mothers.

Sam Rivera4 said:I honestly get a little skin crawl thinking about how people talk online. It’s like everyone just completely loses any sense of accountability toward whoever they're chatting with. From what I can tell, plenty of older folks have jumped on this bandwagon without a second thought, which makes me wonder—if they're already acting like this, how on earth are the younger generations who grew up in this digital wild west even going to behave?😕🤷

rustymaker5 said:That’s only if someone chooses to be that way, though... If a person is fundamentally responsible in their actual life, they aren't suddenly going to turn into a jerk just because they're behind a screen. It’s an internal thing, a matter of character, not some byproduct of the medium itself... You’d have to be a total moron to pretend you're just shouting into a void or talking to a machine, rather than acknowledging there's a living, breathing human being on the other side of that monitor.🤷

Sam Rivera4 said:People just act like that because they can, not because they actually made a conscious choice to be jerks!

Alexander Lewis said:He was crushed between the relentless grind of unchecked communism and the unstoppable momentum of runaway capitalism.
The social etiquette we once valued has become a joke. Nowadays, self-control and decency aren't worth much. Instead, the biggest tough guy in the room is always the one who steals, fights, and breaks things just to prove he can—basically signaling that if you even look at him the wrong way, you’re next. 😢

dustyangler43 said:Personally (though I’m just offering my humble opinion here), I don't think politics has any business being brought up during family meals...😁

driftingtrucker4 said:Sad, but eloquently put. You honestly come across as outdated and naive if you think being POLITE AND THOUGHTFUL
matters.