Dealing with the teenage years is a nightmare

Gregory Wells6 said:Honestly, we’ve tried absolutely everything at this point. A couple of days ago, she went over to her dad's place—you know, the one where he actually tries to set some boundaries and told her she couldn't go out. Well, being the rebel she is, she ended up climbing out of his ground-floor window in the middle of the night. I heard from a few friends that there was a full-on party going on all night long! Her dad eventually realized what was happening and actually nailed the window shut just so she couldn't sneak out again. So, what does she do? She slips out through the terrace instead, leaving the whole house wide open. And since they live right off a busy street, with a tiny baby in the house? It could have been anyone walking right in—it was incredibly risky. He gave her a massive earful afterward, but even that didn't seem to stick; if anything, she just came storming back to my place to make a point. I live on the second floor of my apartment building, so I figured escaping would be a bit more difficult from here—but clearly, I was wrong! If I tell her she can't go out, she just vanishes. I’ll lock the door, and what happens? She calls the neighbor who has a spare key and begs them to let her out. I’ve cut off the Wi-Fi, stopped giving her cash—I've tried it all. Nothing works. She simply does whatever she wants, and all I can do is pray she actually comes home safe, sane, and sober.

🤣

Why do parents lose their minds like this... Jesus Christ. I'm going through it big time right now too. My main issue is that I can't go out. I live in the middle of nowhere, but I go to the city for school. If I want to hit a club, it's a trek. A cafe? Way too far. Even the grocery store is a massive trip... the whole situation is driving me insane. I'm constantly in a bad mood. Every time Friday rolls around, I just feel this heavy, stupid fog settling in. My parents can't wrap their heads around how I went from being this sweet, easygoing kid to a total "little terror," as they call me. Constant questions about everything—how, why, what... Last year we went to the beach for vacation and I was literally praying to God for those ten days to just be over already. We were at the coast, which I used to LOVE, but I was stuck in this weird funk and feeling so depressed. I just wanted to hang with my friends. I nagged them until they finally snapped and gave in 🤣 and dropped me off at two friends' houses, and honestly, that was my actual vacation. Then, a week later, I called my mom crying because I thought someone had died... turns out, she was just being extra because I hadn't called her. Like, seriously? Ugh... I tried explaining that I'm not a little kid anymore and I can function without them, but she just started sobbing even harder, so I just hung up... I couldn't deal with it, honestly. Playing therapist and soul-searcher isn't my job... and I think I'm gonna do the same thing this year. I am so ready for summer just so I can escape them and this house...☕

Kate Garcia2 said:Read it. I’m already dreading it. She is so incredibly stubborn and refuses to listen to a word anyone says—especially now that she's trying to pull a fast one on us with those 4... once she hits puberty, I'm fleeing straight to South America. ☕

As for me, I'm getting ready too; I just haven't decided between South America, New Zealand, or Antarctica yet
if you want, I can save a spot for you😉

So, here we are, part of this wonderful group too.
The kid works himself into a frenzy every single day... literally. It’s exhausting, especially for me.😁
He finally realized that losing it once—after hours and hours of me staying calm, explaining things, and pleading—doesn't change a thing. It just doesn't work.
In his mind, he knows everything. He’s the expert. Everything else is stupid, pathetic, or boring. And why does it *have* to happen right now? It’s the same loop from sunrise to sunset. Every day, the same cycle. No breathing room, no breaks, just constant combat. It feels like a marathon to see who can hold out the longest.🤷It is incredibly draining and heavy. I don't think it's easy on him either, but it’s definitely harder on me.😁
Anyone else out there in the same boat?

I can't believe people actually fall for this garbage... absolute nonsense... kaže:
And here we go... another one added to this lovely group...
My son does everything in his power to drive us crazy every single day... literally, and he’s really getting to me...😁
He finally realized that damn thing was broken for good. After hours of staying calm, explaining himself, and basically begging... nothing worked...
He thinks he knows everything, obviously. Everything else is just stupid, pathetic, and boring. And why does it always have to be this way right now? It’s the same endless grind from sunrise to sunset... just one thing after another, day in and day out. No breaks, no rest, just constant fighting... like some sick competition to see who can suffer the longest...🤷This is freaking exhausting and just plain hard. I honestly think he’s struggling too, but let's be real... it's hitting me way harder...😁
Are there any other suckers left in this country...?

How would we even exist without this...🙄
My daughter doesn't exactly go out of her way to drive us crazy, but she definitely does whatever the hell she wants...😳
And now he’s already shouting about it, acting like he can't wait to turn 18...😂She honestly thinks the world is going to revolve around her... like she's actually got that much influence... newsflash, nothing's changing...😁

Alexander Ross2 said:

I can't believe people actually fall for this garbage... absolute nonsense... kaže:
And here we go... another one added to this lovely group...
My son does everything in his power to drive us crazy every single day... literally, and he’s really getting to me...😁
He finally realized that damn thing was broken for good. After hours of staying calm, explaining himself, and basically begging... nothing worked...
He thinks he knows everything, obviously. Everything else is just stupid, pathetic, and boring. And why does it always have to be this way right now? It’s the same endless grind from sunrise to sunset... just one thing after another, day in and day out. No breaks, no rest, just constant fighting... like some sick competition to see who can suffer the longest...🤷This is freaking exhausting and just plain hard. I honestly think he’s struggling too, but let's be real... it's hitting me way harder...😁
Are there any other suckers left in this country...?

How would we even exist without this...🙄
My daughter doesn't exactly go out of her way to drive us crazy, but she definitely does whatever the hell she wants...😳
And now he’s already shouting about it, acting like he can't wait to turn 18...😂She honestly thinks the world is going to revolve around her... like she's actually got that much influence... newsflash, nothing's changing...😁

🤣

Exactly, and our son actually told me he’s moving out the second he turns 18 and plans to buy his own condo
I asked him, "How exactly?" He just goes, "Oh, with a mortgage!!!!" 🙏 I mean, what kind of mortgage? With what money is he supposed to pay that back? That’s when reality starts to sink in...
He’s actually a good kid otherwise; despite being 16, he still has that sweet, innocent side to him
Last Saturday, he rolled in at 11 PM and went straight to bed, acting like he was absolutely exhausted. So I 😕 asked: "Were you drinking?" He said, "No," 🤷
Later he admitted to having one beer, which led to me 😠 because he deals with asthma, so I gave him a real earful about the risks of taking medication if he needs it...
All in all, he’s a great kid—helps out around the house, cleans up, runs errands, and watches his sister🙏
Truthfully, things aren't always easy for him, but he handles it like a champ👍

wiredcanyon25 said:As for me, I'm getting ready too; I just haven't decided between South America, New Zealand, or Antarctica yet
if you want, I can save a spot for you😉

Listen, after everything that's gone wrong lately—the disasters in New Zealand, that tsunami, the earthquakes, and the looming nuclear threat in Japan (if those reactors blow, does the fallout drift toward Antarctica?)... I honestly recommend South America. From the bottom of my heart.😉
Save me a seat...
😬

Just wanted to jump in here and join the conversation 🙂 So, I’ve got a ten-year-old at home who is clearly hitting that pre-puberty stage, and man, he is driving us absolutely crazy... nothing is ever good enough. Everything is a struggle. Suddenly, his friends are the only thing that matters, and the rest of us? We're just boring, clueless, and totally out of touch. Not to mention how incredibly selfish he’s become lately. There are days where he just pushes me to my breaking point, acting like none of this is even his problem to deal with. He doesn't really want to cuddle or hang out with us like he used to either. I mean, okay, it still happens once in a blue moon, but it's definitely not what it used to be 😢. Honestly, I’m starting to get scared that in a few years, he won't even want to give me a hug. If anyone else is dealing with these crazy boy puberty phases, please reach out with some advice... or maybe just a little bit of sympathy... Thanks in advance!

Alex Walker8 said:So, here we are, part of this wonderful group too.
The kid works himself into a frenzy every single day... literally. It’s exhausting, especially for me.😁
He finally realized that losing it once—after hours and hours of me staying calm, explaining things, and pleading—doesn't change a thing. It just doesn't work.
In his mind, he knows everything. He’s the expert. Everything else is stupid, pathetic, or boring. And why does it *have* to happen right now? It’s the same loop from sunrise to sunset. Every day, the same cycle. No breathing room, no breaks, just constant combat. It feels like a marathon to see who can hold out the longest.🤷It is incredibly draining and heavy. I don't think it's easy on him either, but it’s definitely harder on me.😁
Anyone else out there in the same boat?

🤣🤣🤣
I can't help but laugh... it honestly feels like I wrote this myself...
From one word to the next...

Well, here we go again.
I can't even find the humor in this; I'm just not in the mood.😍
The other day, he was screaming hysterically; honestly, I just despise both of you from the bottom of my heart.😲Then his husband just told him, "Fine, then pack your bags and go find some old man you won't hate," and suddenly, the big baby was apologizing profusely, claiming he didn't mean it like that.☕
He isn't even banging on the doors yet, just rolling his eyes like every single smiley face on this forum and muttering under his breath—probably some colorful insults directed at his own mother.
And so it goes...
Don't mind me, I'm just venting.

It seems like we're just getting started here... looking forward to seeing what others have to say. wiredcanyon25 says:
It looks like we’re all here...
wiredcanyon25 finds it funny, but I’m just not in the mood to laugh...😍
One day, there was this hysterical screaming... I truly despise both of you from the bottom of my heart...😲So his husband just told him, "Fine, then pack your bags and find yourself an old man you won't end up hating," after he spent all that time acting like such a sweet little thing and claiming he didn't actually mean what he said...☕
He isn't even banging on the door yet. He’s just rolling his eyes harder than anyone else on this forum, muttering under his breath... probably some colorful choice words for whoever's responsible...
And so it goes...
Please don't mind me, I'm just venting a little...

Oh, dear... I can't help but laugh at my own misfortune, since I find myself in the exact same boat as you, wiredcanyon25...
My kid spends almost all his time scowling at us, giving us these looks that just seem to radiate pure resentment...
His sheer laziness and lack of accountability are driving me to the brink... I feel like I'm about to lose it just to get through to him...
Schoolwork and grades have become a constant source of friction in our house. Instead of pushing himself to finish 7th grade with top marks to secure his spot for high school, he’d much rather spend his afternoons arguing with us over extra screen time. If he could just channel that stubbornness toward something productive, it would make life a whole lot easier...
A few nights ago, he started picking at me with all this nonsense. I didn't take the bait; I stayed patient and asked him several times to just drop it, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually, I just reached my limit. I grabbed my keys, headed straight for the car, and left without even telling him I was going... I turned my phone off and went to stay with my sister for a bit to clear my head. By the time I checked my phone, I saw he had called me a million times. I didn't get back until really late, and he was still awake—though his mom still has to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight—but we didn't say a word to each other. I know walking out like that seems impulsive, but in that moment, I felt like if I didn't walk away, a massive blowout was inevitable, and I just couldn't deal with that...
If I kept listing all the nonsense we have to deal with, I’d be up until the crack of dawn...

What else can you do besides step away and cool off when he just won't quit?🤷
It’s a total disaster. Honestly, what else is coming our way?
That bit about the hateful glares? He does that every single day. It’s like he’s constantly looking down his nose at us... chills.
We are fighting over absolutely everything—schoolwork, clothes, screen time, when he comes home, when he leaves... everything. The kid is just primed for a fight; he’s practically waiting for me to say anything just so he can snap. Every single time.
He can go on for hours, arguing, trying to find some twisted version of justice or "rights." In his mind, he always has to have the final word.
Do you know how many times I beat myself up over this "fake democracy" we have going on at home? The reason I don't let things slide immediately is because I’m the one in charge.
It’s not like, "Oh, let's give the child a voice and an opinion," because then it just turns into a free-for-all with zero boundaries.
Ugh.

Alex Walker8 said:What else can you do besides step away and cool off when he just won't quit?🤷
It’s a total disaster. Honestly, what else is coming our way?
That bit about the hateful glares? He does that every single day. It’s like he’s constantly looking down his nose at us... chills.
We are fighting over absolutely everything—schoolwork, clothes, screen time, when he comes home, when he leaves... everything. The kid is just primed for a fight; he’s practically waiting for me to say anything just so he can snap. Every single time.
He can go on for hours, arguing, trying to find some twisted version of justice or "rights." In his mind, he always has to have the final word.
Do you know how many times I beat myself up over this "fake democracy" we have going on at home? The reason I don't let things slide immediately is because I’m the one in charge.
It’s not like, "Oh, let's give the child a voice and an opinion," because then it just turns into a free-for-all with zero boundaries.
Ugh.

And then we’re just screwed...

His teacher told me that she doesn't subscribe to any of those liberal parenting theories; apparently, a few firm corrections at the right moment make everything much easier... though, of course, that isn't her official position.

I’m sure the resident moral police will come for me any second now, though I’d gladly hand over my kid to a good foster family for five or ten years just to get some peace...

I’m honestly struggling to find the right rhythm with parenting. It feels like I'm missing the mark lately, or maybe just losing my grip on the situation altogether.

By the way, we were just having a discussion about food earlier.
The kid trained for seven years, hitting the pool three or four times a week.
But starting this year, he’s decided he’s done. He says it’s too much work, it’s boring, and he wants more time to focus on his schoolwork.🙄.................................. ...
Naturally, he’s started to put on a little weight because he’s mostly just lounging around and eating more than usual.
He’s quite tall for a thirteen-year-old, standing about 5'9", but he's definitely carrying some extra weight now.
Tonight, he wanted eggs with bacon and cheese for dinner. I told him that felt like a bit much for a late meal—especially since he already polished off a decent bar of chocolate and half a box of cookies after lunch. He gave me this whole speech about how he’s still growing and accused me of trying to starve him or make him feel deprived.
I find myself constantly bringing up portion sizes, but I worry that if I don't, his health and mental well-being might suffer...
Then again, maybe I am overthinking things a bit... 🤷

wiredcanyon25 said:

It seems like we're just getting started here... looking forward to seeing what others have to say. wiredcanyon25 says:
It looks like we’re all here...
wiredcanyon25 finds it funny, but I’m just not in the mood to laugh...😍
One day, there was this hysterical screaming... I truly despise both of you from the bottom of my heart...😲So his husband just told him, "Fine, then pack your bags and find yourself an old man you won't end up hating," after he spent all that time acting like such a sweet little thing and claiming he didn't actually mean what he said...☕
He isn't even banging on the door yet. He’s just rolling his eyes harder than anyone else on this forum, muttering under his breath... probably some colorful choice words for whoever's responsible...
And so it goes...
Please don't mind me, I'm just venting a little...

Oh, dear... I can't help but laugh at my own misfortune, since I find myself in the exact same boat as you, wiredcanyon25...
My kid spends almost all his time scowling at us, giving us these looks that just seem to radiate pure resentment...
His sheer laziness and lack of accountability are driving me to the brink... I feel like I'm about to lose it just to get through to him...
Schoolwork and grades have become a constant source of friction in our house. Instead of pushing himself to finish 7th grade with top marks to secure his spot for high school, he’d much rather spend his afternoons arguing with us over extra screen time. If he could just channel that stubbornness toward something productive, it would make life a whole lot easier...
A few nights ago, he started picking at me with all this nonsense. I didn't take the bait; I stayed patient and asked him several times to just drop it, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually, I just reached my limit. I grabbed my keys, headed straight for the car, and left without even telling him I was going... I turned my phone off and went to stay with my sister for a bit to clear my head. By the time I checked my phone, I saw he had called me a million times. I didn't get back until really late, and he was still awake—though his mom still has to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight—but we didn't say a word to each other. I know walking out like that seems impulsive, but in that moment, I felt like if I didn't walk away, a massive blowout was inevitable, and I just couldn't deal with that...
If I kept listing all the nonsense we have to deal with, I’d be up until the crack of dawn...

You're still tucking the small one into bed and giving him kisses? And he's 13? 😲

Why would that surprise you?
I don't treat him like a baby anymore; we just head to his room together, he lies down, and I give him a goodnight kiss. It's our little ritual, and I really hope it stays this way for a long time...
There isn't anything strange or wrong about a mother kissing her child before bed, no matter how old they get.
Even when my own mom comes to stay with us for a few days, she still gives me a kiss before sleep and in the morning.

Alex Walker8 said:What else can you do besides step away and cool off when he just won't quit?🤷
It’s a total disaster. Honestly, what else is coming our way?
That bit about the hateful glares? He does that every single day. It’s like he’s constantly looking down his nose at us... chills.
We are fighting over absolutely everything—schoolwork, clothes, screen time, when he comes home, when he leaves... everything. The kid is just primed for a fight; he’s practically waiting for me to say anything just so he can snap. Every single time.
He can go on for hours, arguing, trying to find some twisted version of justice or "rights." In his mind, he always has to have the final word.
Do you know how many times I beat myself up over this "fake democracy" we have going on at home? The reason I don't let things slide immediately is because I’m the one in charge.
It’s not like, "Oh, let's give the child a voice and an opinion," because then it just turns into a free-for-all with zero boundaries.
Ugh.

How much easier would life be if you had just started tying him to a radiator from the start? 🙂

What is the actual point of parenting, if not to "produce" an individual who possesses the ability, the will, and the courage to hold a conviction and voice an opinion? Every instance where "might makes right" is used instead of the strength of a logical argument is nothing more than a temporary—and frankly, rather one-off—fix.

Under those specific circumstances, the kid often ends up making even bigger messes, fueled by this misguided sense of "fighting for justice."

silentscout20 said:You're still tucking the small one into bed and giving him kisses? And he's 13? 😲

The "tucking in" part is already explained, but I fail to see the issue with showing parental affection to a 13-year-old. 😕 At what specific age does being tender with your own child suddenly become terrible, unthinkable, or—as some might say—😲 shocking?

wiredcanyon25 said:Why would that surprise you?
I don't treat him like a baby anymore; we just head to his room together, he lies down, and I give him a goodnight kiss. It's our little ritual, and I really hope it stays this way for a long time...
There isn't anything strange or wrong about a mother kissing her child before bed, no matter how old they get.
Even when my own mom comes to stay with us for a few days, she still gives me a kiss before sleep and in the morning.

Personally, I think it's actually really sweet, which is why I'm so shocked... because I figured in a year or two, he wouldn't want to do this anymore. He's already starting to want his own space and just saying "goodnight" without the mandatory kisses and tucking in like he used to... so I'm not shocked because it's "wrong," I'm just shocked because I thought all this stuff disappeared once they hit puberty... I really hope at least this part sticks around for me...

silentscout20 said:Personally, I think it's actually really sweet, which is why I'm so shocked... because I figured in a year or two, he wouldn't want to do this anymore. He's already starting to want his own space and just saying "goodnight" without the mandatory kisses and tucking in like he used to... so I'm not shocked because it's "wrong," I'm just shocked because I thought all this stuff disappeared once they hit puberty... I really hope at least this part sticks around for me...

My kid still loves to hug and kiss me, even though we have our fair share of battles. Sometimes he's so affectionate I actually have to push him off, which is wild to experience. He’ll sneak up behind me for a big hug while I'm busy in the kitchen, too—sometimes it's almost a little dangerous when I'm mid-task, like slicing something...
I truly hope he never outgrows this phase...

wiredcanyon25 said:My kid still loves to hug and kiss me, even though we have our fair share of battles. Sometimes he's so affectionate I actually have to push him off, which is wild to experience. He’ll sneak up behind me for a big hug while I'm busy in the kitchen, too—sometimes it's almost a little dangerous when I'm mid-task, like slicing something...
I truly hope he never outgrows this phase...

He was never really the super mushy type, you know? He loves acting all tough... but then we'll be watching a movie and he'll suddenly want to lean on me, his brothers, or his dad. Just give him a little snack and he's good to go. It used to be our ritual where either my husband or I would come tuck him in and give him a kiss goodnight every single night, but lately, that's been happening way less often....