Depression or something else?

Joshua Price3 said:So, regarding the therapy—we’re back at square one. He didn't go pick up his prescriptions, nor did he bother seeing his doctor. Honestly, he can be incredibly difficult, and who am I to tell him how to live his life? I really don't want to overstep... I’m starting to feel my own motivation slipping away, too; it’s hard to keep pouring energy into something when you know he isn't going to listen anyway. There are moments where things seem fine, but it’s just not quite right... it doesn't feel like the person I know him to be.

I have no intention of walking away, though. You don't just run for the hills the moment things get messy—that's not how I operate. He’s exactly who he is, and to me, he’s perfect.🙂 Even if I can't provide the actual medical help he needs, I can at least be there by his side.

Thanks to everyone for the input. We'll see how things unfold... I just hope his lack of interest doesn't start rubbing off on me.😢

Best,

You need to stay. There needs to be a ton of talking right now. I know how this feels (even though my own issues are way smaller than his), and I'm lucky enough to have an amazing boyfriend by my side. 🙂
Don't give up: try a hundred times, try the hundred and first time, eventually something is going to shift. 🙂

Taylor Taylor80 said:I think you really ought to focus more on yourself and maybe try dialing back that jealousy just a hair...
The specifics will follow via email if you're interested.

Shoot me a DM... I'd love to hear the specifics and get your take on it.🙂

Joshua Price3 said:So, regarding the therapy—we’re back at square one. He didn't go pick up his prescriptions, nor did he bother seeing his doctor. Honestly, he can be incredibly difficult, and who am I to tell him how to live his life? I really don't want to overstep... I’m starting to feel my own motivation slipping away, too; it’s hard to keep pouring energy into something when you know he isn't going to listen anyway. There are moments where things seem fine, but it’s just not quite right... it doesn't feel like the person I know him to be.

I have no intention of walking away, though. You don't just run for the hills the moment things get messy—that's not how I operate. He’s exactly who he is, and to me, he’s perfect.🙂 Even if I can't provide the actual medical help he needs, I can at least be there by his side.

Thanks to everyone for the input. We'll see how things unfold... I just hope his lack of interest doesn't start rubbing off on me.😢

Best,

I truly admire your loyalty, especially since you mentioned that you won't run when things get tough; honestly, that seems almost unbelievable to me, because it feels like everyone else here tends to bolt the moment someone hits a rough patch, assuming they're just "crazy," which seems to happen in romantic relationships too.
Personally, I feel as though I might be struggling with depression; I find myself feeling so listless, disinterested, hopeless, sad, and angry, yet somehow I manage to snap out of it and accomplish quite a lot—mostly because I'm terrified people will think I've lost my mind, or that I'll be committed to a mental asylum where I'd lose my civil rights, or perhaps even kicked out of my own home...

Hey, just checking in to see how things are going...
?
The reason I ask is because I’m dealing with something pretty similar right now, and honestly, I’m at a total loss on how to handle it. My absolute best friend has spiraled into this deep depression. It’s getting harder and harder to ignore—or rather, what I mean is, it's becoming so much more intense that I’m starting to get genuinely scared for her.😢 I want to help her so badly, but I feel completely powerless. I’ve had my own rough patches, just like you mentioned... those days where you just want to crawl under the covers and hide from the world... but actual clinical depression? That's a different beast entirely.
Make no mistake, I am in her corner, and I always will be, but it feels like nothing I say actually lands. It's like there's a wall between us. I try to pull her out of the house for stuff—trips to the museum, catching a movie, whatever—hoping that maybe being active will help even if my words just fall flat.
It’s just heartbreaking, really.

Earlier this evening, I sat down to jot out some thoughts and guidelines—I truly hope nobody takes offense, because I’m speaking straight from the gut here, and frankly, being this emotional is just its own specific kind of melancholy, though perhaps a productive sort...
Don't go making any moves until you've actually sorted through the chaos in your head and your heart.
Dealing with depression is an incredibly volatile business, where even a couple of poorly chosen words can either be a lifeline or a total disaster.🙂

slydrifter18 said:Hey, just checking in to see how things are going...
?
The reason I ask is because I’m dealing with something pretty similar right now, and honestly, I’m at a total loss on how to handle it. My absolute best friend has spiraled into this deep depression. It’s getting harder and harder to ignore—or rather, what I mean is, it's becoming so much more intense that I’m starting to get genuinely scared for her.😢 I want to help her so badly, but I feel completely powerless. I’ve had my own rough patches, just like you mentioned... those days where you just want to crawl under the covers and hide from the world... but actual clinical depression? That's a different beast entirely.
Make no mistake, I am in her corner, and I always will be, but it feels like nothing I say actually lands. It's like there's a wall between us. I try to pull her out of the house for stuff—trips to the museum, catching a movie, whatever—hoping that maybe being active will help even if my words just fall flat.
It’s just heartbreaking, really.

I wish I could offer some real help... but I honestly don't know how... everything I try seems to fall flat.

There's just no progress to be seen. I'd love to give you some advice, but I think we really need to hear from people who have been in the trenches and actually learned how to fight through this kind of thing... etc.
I just don't know.

slydrifter18 says:
Hey, let me know how things are going...
?
Because honestly, I’m dealing with something almost identical and I’m just at a total loss on how to handle it... My best friend has spiraled into this incredibly deep depression, and it’s getting harder and harder to ignore—I mean, it’s reaching a point where I’m genuinely terrified for her. I want to help more than anything, but I feel completely powerless... I’ve had my own rough patches, sure, those days where you just want to crawl under the covers and disappear from the world, but this isn't just a bad mood, it's something much heavier.
I am here for her, through thick and thin, always, but it feels like nothing I say actually lands... It’s like there’s a wall between us. I try to get her out of the house, maybe catch an exhibit or a movie, just hoping that being present might help since my actual words seem to fall on deaf ears.
And it just breaks my heart into pieces...

I’d love to help you out... but I’m feeling just as lost... everything I try seems to hit a dead end...

There’s zero progress to report, and while I’d give advice if I could, I think we really need people to step up here—people who have actually lived through this and figured out how to fight back... etc...
I just don't know...

I want to help, truly, and I'm looking at my own life first, but I'm certainly not alone in this, as so many of my friends
Both men and women in my circle work constantly on this topic, talking it out and trying to spread awareness...
And for the record, I think I've finally managed to keep my head above water!??
If you want to talk, just shoot me a DM.

Hey everyone...

It looks like depression is hitting my family hard, just like it’s hitting some of you. I don't think I'm the one struggling, but based on how things look—😢I mean, I'm just guessing since he refuses to see a therapist—it seems like my dad really needs help...

My dad has always been pretty high-strung and temperamental; kind of a saint to the neighbors, but honestly pretty rough on his own family. He’s carried this deep sense of inadequacy since he was a kid, which basically crushed his spirit early on. Early in his marriage, he drank a lot and hung out with all these losers who just dragged his reputation through the mud. He used to accuse my mom—who is literally the most loyal person I know—of cheating on him. Jealousy pretty much defined their entire marriage, even though he had zero reason to suspect anything. I can say that with total confidence because I saw exactly how my mom raised me and the kind of values she instilled in me... Anyway, I won't ramble too much... I got married about six months ago and moved 746 miles far away😢, which he’s having a really hard time handling. I don't get why, either, because even when I lived at home, he didn't spend his free evenings with us; he was always out with his so-called "friends." Mom says he's lost a ton of weight and keeps talking about ending it all. I’ve tried talking to him openly and calmly, but nothing works. He always circles back to those fake accusations of her being unfaithful. He tries to use those stupid lies to manipulate me, but even a five-year-old wouldn't believe him... He has no drive left, smokes three packs a day, and barely communicates with anyone normally anymore...🙄I'm honestly at a loss here. I'm heading back to visit them soon, purely with the goal of convincing him to get professional help. If the doctor says he's actually fine, then maybe I'll be the one needing therapy, because I've dealt with way too much drama with him... People, please, give me some advice or just some comfort... tell me what to do, because I don't know how to handle him anymore. Sorry if this is a huge, disorganized vent, but I'm just totally overwhelmed by everything🙂
Thanks in advance...

Anyone here?? Just me then, I guess...

dustymason31 said:Anyone here?? Just me then, I guess...

I’d love to step up and help out, because I’m starting with myself and I certainly won't be the only one... plenty of my friends are ready to jump in too...
Both men and women are putting in serious work to tackle this issue through constant dialogue and by spreading awareness...
And I honestly thought I had finally made my escape from all this nonsense...
If you want to get into the weeds with me, just shoot over all the specifics in a private message...
I can still vividly recall the exact moment this whole mess started unfolding, back when we first noticed those subtle cracks appearing in the foundation of everything we thought was stable... and looking at how much chaos has spiraled out of control since that initial warning sign, it’s honestly infuriating how little anyone seems to have learned from our past mistakes...
It’s about the integrity of the entire approach...

dustymason31 said:Anyone here?? Just me then, I guess...

It’s funny when people on here spend all their energy obsessing over hairstyles and other such trivialities...

Actually, you might find some value in reading *Toxic Parents*; it doesn't exactly strike me that you had the most idyllic upbringing. You can certainly try to nudge that man toward therapy or whatever else, but perhaps you owe it to yourself to live a somewhat normal life first. I mean, is your primary career objective really to act as a surrogate parent for a foolish old man?

Honestly, I’d suggest looking into some antidepressants. Right now, my cocktail includes Lexapro, Zoloft, Prozac, and at night
Paxil. For me, the Lexapro and Zoloft are doing most of the heavy lifting—as for the others? I couldn't tell you why I’m even bothering with them,
but hey, that’s what my psychiatrist insists on. I'm telling you this for your own good.

I really think you should go see a solid psychologist or a decent psychiatrist. Once you get things sorted, you'll see—everything is going to be just fine.
I'm rooting for you! 🙂

Good grief, kid, you’re being way too honest; they’ll probably end up drugging you just for it.😬

shadowtrucker18😉 I know I shouldn't feel guilty about wanting an old man to just pass on, but seeing him like this is honestly brutal... and watching my sister and mom suffer through it too just makes everything feel way worse. Sometimes I catch myself wishing he’d just go so they could finally have some peace and live normally again, I guess. For now, I’m just trying to push through, maybe hit up a therapist or talk it out, and see where things land... It sucks because even being at my own place, I can't shake this restless feeling he leaves behind. I haven't had the energy to do anything for days. It’s especially hard being all the way out here in Seattle and not being able to actually help them... though I suppose venting like this helps a little. My brother lost our dad so early, so he doesn't really get why I'm spiraling this much. I wish things were different, obviously, but at the end of the day, I love the guy—he's my dad after all.😢

Look, it might sound a bit harsh, but your mother does have a tendency to get divorced. You should probably look into that book, really.

yeah, i'll try to track it down😉and give it a read, obviously... thanks😉