Everything you need for a California wedding

Timothy Fisher50 said:I could really use some advice here!!
I was wondering if anyone knows what the go-to etiquette is for gift-giving when families meet for the first time out in California. His parents actually brought me some gold jewelry when we first met, and now that it's our turn to head over to their place, I'm feeling a bit lost. I have absolutely no clue what the local customs are for this kind of thing. What would be an appropriate gesture for us to bring along?

I went through this exact same dilemma, though in my case, there wasn't a formal "meeting" or a specific gift exchange... just a series of coincidences... it's a long story.

But for example, a relative of mine recently went to lunch at her fiancé's house with her parents—sort of an introductory visit. 🙂
They picked out a really nice serving bowl for desserts, and they put together a gift basket filled with coffee, cookies, chocolates, a bottle of wine, and some other spirits. They wrapped everything beautifully in cellophane with a little bow. They also bought a bouquet of flowers for the future mother-in-law.

That is supposedly considered a more modern way to handle the gifting.

On the other hand, a neighbor of mine from a more traditional rural background bought jewelry for her future daughter-in-law—and it was quite expensive, like those basket-style earrings plus a matching set. Then, when the bride-to-be visited with her family for lunch, her family bought a little something for everyone in the household.
1. The standard stuff: coffee, cookies, and a drink.
2. A bouquet of flowers.
3. A tie for the future father-in-law.
4. A lovely set of coffee cups for the mother-in-law.
2. Pajamas for the brother.
3. Perfume for the sister.

Apparently, the old-school tradition was to buy a specific item for every individual in the house, but back in the day, those were small things—like pitchers for the best man, kitchen towels, or a nice bottle of wine.

Douglas Reyes3 said:I went through this exact same dilemma, though in my case, there wasn't a formal "meeting" or a specific gift exchange... just a series of coincidences... it's a long story.

But for example, a relative of mine recently went to lunch at her fiancé's house with her parents—sort of an introductory visit. 🙂
They picked out a really nice serving bowl for desserts, and they put together a gift basket filled with coffee, cookies, chocolates, a bottle of wine, and some other spirits. They wrapped everything beautifully in cellophane with a little bow. They also bought a bouquet of flowers for the future mother-in-law.

That is supposedly considered a more modern way to handle the gifting.

On the other hand, a neighbor of mine from a more traditional rural background bought jewelry for her future daughter-in-law—and it was quite expensive, like those basket-style earrings plus a matching set. Then, when the bride-to-be visited with her family for lunch, her family bought a little something for everyone in the household.
1. The standard stuff: coffee, cookies, and a drink.
2. A bouquet of flowers.
3. A tie for the future father-in-law.
4. A lovely set of coffee cups for the mother-in-law.
2. Pajamas for the brother.
3. Perfume for the sister.

Apparently, the old-school tradition was to buy a specific item for every individual in the house, but back in the day, those were small things—like pitchers for the best man, kitchen towels, or a nice bottle of wine.

Just like your neighbor did, a few of my own friends and acquaintances have handled it that way too... just finding a little something for everyone.🙂

Douglas Reyes3 said:I went through this exact same dilemma, though in my case, there wasn't a formal "meeting" or a specific gift exchange... just a series of coincidences... it's a long story.

But for example, a relative of mine recently went to lunch at her fiancé's house with her parents—sort of an introductory visit. 🙂
They picked out a really nice serving bowl for desserts, and they put together a gift basket filled with coffee, cookies, chocolates, a bottle of wine, and some other spirits. They wrapped everything beautifully in cellophane with a little bow. They also bought a bouquet of flowers for the future mother-in-law.

That is supposedly considered a more modern way to handle the gifting.

On the other hand, a neighbor of mine from a more traditional rural background bought jewelry for her future daughter-in-law—and it was quite expensive, like those basket-style earrings plus a matching set. Then, when the bride-to-be visited with her family for lunch, her family bought a little something for everyone in the household.
1. The standard stuff: coffee, cookies, and a drink.
2. A bouquet of flowers.
3. A tie for the future father-in-law.
4. A lovely set of coffee cups for the mother-in-law.
2. Pajamas for the brother.
3. Perfume for the sister.

Apparently, the old-school tradition was to buy a specific item for every individual in the house, but back in the day, those were small things—like pitchers for the best man, kitchen towels, or a nice bottle of wine.

Now I’m feeling completely overwhelmed and confused... I honestly can't decide if I should just go the simple route with a gift basket filled with wine, coffee, and chocolates along with a bouquet for the mother-in-law, or if I should go bigger and get a little individual gift for both the father-in-law and mother-in-law too? I really don't want to mess this up and end up looking awkward or disrespectful 😛 what do you all think? If I did decide to go that extra mile, what would be good to get them? I'm just lost here; my family and I aren't really acquainted with these kinds of customs. His family already gave us gold jewelry, so I'm worried it might look silly if I don't return the gesture with something meaningful...

I wouldn't stress myself out too much over these traditions 🙂
personally, I think just bringing a gift basket and some flowers is more than enough.
If you look at the reality of the situation, why would they only be giving gifts to you instead of your parents and siblings, right?

The custom is typically that the mother-in-law gives a gift to the bride, and since your parents are just coming over to have lunch with "friends," I really think a nice gesture like a basket and a bouquet is perfectly sufficient.
It’s the same thing you’d do if you were visiting anyone else for the first time.

Take my neighbor, for example—everyone there received a little something. But in her case, she’s someone who deals with a lot of unnecessary drama, and her daughter-in-law realized exactly what kind of person she was dealing with, which is why the gifting was so extravagant.
You know your future family best. You can tell if they are down-to-earth, humble people who will be happy with a small token of appreciation, or if they are the type who can't wait to brag about how lavish the gifts were
or, heaven forbid, go around telling people that you and your family showed up with nothing but a box of chocolates. 🙂

Maybe ask your fiancé to check in with his relatives about their specific customs, just so you can feel certain going in.

??!!
I'm honestly confused... this is the first time I've ever heard of such a gifting tradition in California (I'm originally from San Diego).
Nobody I know—whether they're from San Diego or even further inland—has ever bought anything for their future in-laws, nor have they received gifts during those "return visits."

Okay, look, when you go over to someone's house for the first time (you know, that famous "meet the family" introduction), it’s common courtesy to bring something along—maybe some flowers, a bag of coffee, or a bottle of wine—but that's just standard etiquette for visiting anyone, regardless of the occasion. When I met my future mother-in-law, I didn't buy her a thing, and she didn't get me anything either. I wasn't expecting a grand gesture by any means.

So, could someone please enlighten me? In what part of California would you actually find customs like these?

Well, Timothy Fisher50 already mentioned that this is all about parents getting to know one another. 😕

That’s exactly my point.
She was asking about what to get her father-in-law and mother-in-law, and even mentioned buying gifts for brothers and sisters... so I just had to ask where those kinds of traditions even exist, since I grew up in California and I've never heard of such gift-giving customs before. Just pure curiosity, really. 🙂

VANA-kjkdfnjajf As stated by:
I have to say, Tina Kalinić is an absolute wizard with makeup. Honestly, every single time I need to get cleaned up, she’s my first and only call. Her work is just incredible. 🙂 If you decide to go with her, I can promise you one thing: you won't regret it. 🙂

Could someone please let me know what Tina Kalinić charges for a full makeup application, specifically including those artistic eyelash extensions? Thanks!

Hey there, Amy Johnson! Just wanted to give you a quick update on how everything went on October 5th. Just a heads-up: things might not go exactly according to your plan, but honestly, that doesn't even matter. As long as the vibe is right and everything else falls into place... you'll be happy. It was pouring rain on us, so you can imagine what painting the flowers was like that day. The florist really threw colors and textures together, but hey, it worked out. And my dear husband? He looked like total Bigfoot in those thank-you photos. The biggest mess was at the church, where the priest ended up being the star of the show. He actually messed up my name twice, which had everyone dying laughing. To top it all off, he dropped a massive iron cross right on the floor, and people were absolutely rolling. He just casually picked it up and said, "Well, thank goodness it's iron, so it didn't break!" Plus, he didn't move the pews out of the way, so I felt like a princess in a giant ballgown trying to navigate through the narrow aisles toward the altar, with my dad following right behind me. 😂 But overall, we are so happy with the bonfire, surrounded by such a lively and upbeat crowd that stayed with us until 6 AM. Even the band—think Motley Crue vibes—was awesome. These little mishaps are just going to become great stories we tell for years. RELAX AND ENJOY IT!!!!!😍

Robert Chavez20 said:??!!
I'm honestly confused... this is the first time I've ever heard of such a gifting tradition in California (I'm originally from San Diego).
Nobody I know—whether they're from San Diego or even further inland—has ever bought anything for their future in-laws, nor have they received gifts during those "return visits."

Okay, look, when you go over to someone's house for the first time (you know, that famous "meet the family" introduction), it’s common courtesy to bring something along—maybe some flowers, a bag of coffee, or a bottle of wine—but that's just standard etiquette for visiting anyone, regardless of the occasion. When I met my future mother-in-law, I didn't buy her a thing, and she didn't get me anything either. I wasn't expecting a grand gesture by any means.

So, could someone please enlighten me? In what part of California would you actually find customs like these?

I'm with you there; I've never heard of any official gifting ritual, aside from maybe grabbing a bottle of wine or some nice coffee, which is just what you do whenever you drop by someone's place anyway. 🤷
We handled our situation with a single bottle of wine😁 just so we wouldn't show up empty-handed... but honestly, it wasn't a whole big production or anything.🙂

Douglas Reyes3 said:I wouldn't stress myself out too much over these traditions 🙂
personally, I think just bringing a gift basket and some flowers is more than enough.
If you look at the reality of the situation, why would they only be giving gifts to you instead of your parents and siblings, right?

The custom is typically that the mother-in-law gives a gift to the bride, and since your parents are just coming over to have lunch with "friends," I really think a nice gesture like a basket and a bouquet is perfectly sufficient.
It’s the same thing you’d do if you were visiting anyone else for the first time.

Take my neighbor, for example—everyone there received a little something. But in her case, she’s someone who deals with a lot of unnecessary drama, and her daughter-in-law realized exactly what kind of person she was dealing with, which is why the gifting was so extravagant.
You know your future family best. You can tell if they are down-to-earth, humble people who will be happy with a small token of appreciation, or if they are the type who can't wait to brag about how lavish the gifts were
or, heaven forbid, go around telling people that you and your family showed up with nothing but a box of chocolates. 🙂

Maybe ask your fiancé to check in with his relatives about their specific customs, just so you can feel certain going in.

That’s true, you’ve got a point there... that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I’ll just pick up a lovely gift basket filled with some sweets, maybe some nice drinks, cookies, and Blue Coffee, along with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and call it a day. 🙂
And just to be safe, I’ll have him check in on the situation a little bit to see what the vibe is. 🙂

Thomas Cruz9 said:

VANA-kjkdfnjajf As stated by:
I have to say, Tina Kalinić is an absolute wizard with makeup. Honestly, every single time I need to get cleaned up, she’s my first and only call. Her work is just incredible. 🙂 If you decide to go with her, I can promise you one thing: you won't regret it. 🙂

Could someone please let me know what Tina Kalinić charges for a full makeup application, specifically including those artistic eyelash extensions? Thanks!

Honestly, if I had to guess, I'd say you're looking at somewhere between $300 and $350.

vividcrane20 said:Hi there—I’m a new member here. I have my graduation party coming up next September, and while I’ve already settled on a DJ, I’m still weighing my options for live music... 😉Has anyone here actually seen Mirko bura perform at an event? A friend recommended them to me, saying they’re absolutely fantastic... so if anyone has any intel or personal experiences with their set, please let me know!

That's just Mirko bura 🙂
He isn't a band—just a singer performing with his guitarist. How should I put this... the guy knows how to set a mood. If you've ever been to Blue Coffee or a decent gastropub, you'd know what I mean. He's like a more budget-friendly version—don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he's worse—of Matthew and the guys or maybe a Bomb

He's playing somewhere almost every weekend, so honestly, just track down a venue where he's booked and go listen 🙂

Austin Thompson96 said:That's just Mirko bura 🙂
He isn't a band—just a singer performing with his guitarist. How should I put this... the guy knows how to set a mood. If you've ever been to Blue Coffee or a decent gastropub, you'd know what I mean. He's like a more budget-friendly version—don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he's worse—of Matthew and the guys or maybe a Bomb

He's playing somewhere almost every weekend, so honestly, just track down a venue where he's booked and go listen 🙂

Thanks so much for the reply! I'll definitely make an effort to go see them, but I was curious if anyone had actually caught them performing at a real party setting! 🤷Oh, and I also heard there were three of them—supposedly they have a female vocalist?! 🙂

Does anyone happen to have any recommendations for a choir or perhaps a solo vocalist to perform during a church service?

Can anyone point me toward a good instructor for a quick dance class or maybe some choreography for a first dance? The wedding is only 20 days away... and I really want our first dance to look beautiful 🙂>

Amy Johnson said:Can anyone point me toward a good instructor for a quick dance class or maybe some choreography for a first dance? The wedding is only 20 days away... and I really want our first dance to look beautiful 🙂>

I'm actually in the exact same boat—any recommendations would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I could really use some advice—we’re getting married in Atlanta next year! 😍
We’re stuck in this total deadlock over which band to book—Verizon or maybe an Uber-2200 Lyft-2500 type vibe?
The price gap isn't even that big, it's just that I can't make up my mind. Everyone seems to have a different opinion...

ruggedpuma8 said:I could really use some advice—we’re getting married in Atlanta next year! 😍
We’re stuck in this total deadlock over which band to book—Verizon or maybe an Uber-2200 Lyft-2500 type vibe?
The price gap isn't even that big, it's just that I can't make up my mind. Everyone seems to have a different opinion...

Must be nice having such cute problems 🙂

Verizon is a bit better and more seasoned, but honestly, you really can't go wrong with either one!

Noah Wright4 said:Must be nice having such cute problems 🙂

Verizon is a bit better and more seasoned, but honestly, you really can't go wrong with either one!

What are we looking at price-wise for them?