How to build real self-confidence?

Mark Hughes36 said:Not everyone processes things the same way, you know...
and I wouldn't go so far as to call it being a jerk
maybe I’d agree that they might have a harder time navigating life later on
but calling someone a jerk is still a pretty negative label to throw around...

It’s deserved. 😁
But honestly, how anyone else perceives it or judges it doesn't really matter. The bottom line is that some people just lack the confidence to step up and take what's being handed to them on a silver platter. 😁

Jack Harris3 said:The bottom line is that some people just lack the backbone to take what's being handed to them on a silver platter. 😁

I get the feeling you’re diagnosing a clinical pathology while you talk. 😁
I doubt we see many people who are truly, pathologically shy or withdrawn.
Usually, it's just a matter of someone having a more stubborn personality.

Can we just agree to call it "selective stinginess" and move on? 😁

Mark Hughes36 said:I feel like while you're talking, you're having a vision of a literal clinical case study here...😁

Well, you picked an example that would definitely qualify as a clinical case.
🤣 I don't know anyone who’d turn down a scoop of ice cream.
😁 Except maybe me, but only because it looks too watery and unappealing.
😁
Quote:I don't think people who are extremely shy and withdrawn are actually that common.

Most of the time, it's just a more pronounced personality trait.

I'm not so sure if that's really "character" or just "conditioning." 😉
You know, the influence of how you were raised, your social circle, church, stuff like that...

Can we just agree on a middle ground regarding being "partially stingy"? 😁

I mean... that's probably always the case since nobody is ever 100% cheap. At least, I hope not. 😁

Jack Harris3 said:You picked an example that’s practically a textbook case. 🤣
I don't know anyone who would turn down a scoop of ice cream. 😁
Except maybe myself, but only if it looks watery and unappealing. 😁

The example was tailored to the age group we were all discussing earlier. 😁
At least physically speaking. 😁
A child in this scenario isn't some emotionally mature, stable adult.
They're way too young for that. 🙂

Do you honestly think being reserved or shy always rules out emotional stability?
Your cynical tone makes me lean toward yes.

By the way, does character consist of both genetics and "training"?
I haven't heard much consensus on the actual split between nature and nurture in shaping personalities.
I'm no social scientist, just someone who likes to talk. 😁

Mark Hughes36 said:Do you think being self-sacrificing and shy (all the time) automatically means someone lacks emotional stability?
The way you're acting all "twisted up" makes me want to say yes...

I suppose so. 😁

And as far as my character goes, who’s actually supposed to agree with me?
Nobody has to... 😁

Jack Harris3 said:I suppose. 😁

Dammit, irreconcilable differences.
If we were in a band, we would have split over "musical differences" by now. 😁

Without getting too deep into real-world examples...
I recall the series "Pride and Prejudice" based on the Jane Austen novel (checked IMDb just now 😁).
Mr. Darcy ended up with one of the sisters, Elizabeth Bennet.
Mostly, her older sister ended up with that insanely wealthy guy.

To me, that girl (Elizabeth Bennet's sister) seemed modest and reserved.
I wouldn't go so far as to say she was emotionally unstable.

Jack Harris3 said:As for character, who exactly needs to agree?
Nobody has to agree with me. 😁

I thought you might be expert enough to know some modern insights, so I asked you like a student asks a teacher. 😁

Mark Hughes36 said:To me, that girl (Elizabeth Bennet's sister) just seemed like a modest, reserved type...
I wouldn't say she was emotionally unstable or anything like that.

Well, after dealing with that crazy old woman of hers, there wasn't much left for her to do except change her whole vibe. She just keeps her feelings tucked away, suffering quietly and modestly so nobody even notices. That’s actually why Mr. Darcy messed with their relationship at first—he genuinely thought his friend didn't care for him. So much for being "modest" and "reserved," right? 😁
But then you have her bold, totally unreserved sister, Elizabeth Bennet, who not only dragged her out of her shell so she could actually land a guy, but ended up snagging an even wealthier one herself. 😁

P.S. I'm talking about the book here. I haven't seen the movie, so I don't know if they changed things up in the adaptation.

I figured you might be expert enough to know about some of the newer theories, so I asked you the way a student would ask a teacher...😁

🤣
As for expertise... let's not go there. We'll just end up arguing again because our tastes in music are so different. 😁

Mr. Darcy said:Well, at the end of the day, that crazy old woman had no choice but to change her ways. Now she just hides her feelings, suffering quietly so no one notices. That’s exactly why Mr. Darcy sabotaged her relationship in the first place—he thought his friend didn't care for him. So much for being "modest" and "reserved." 😁
But look at her sister, Elizabeth Bennet. She wasn't modest or reserved at all; she actually stepped up, helped her sister land the guy, and ended up snagging someone even wealthier herself. 😁

In the end, everything worked out, and that’s what matters. 🙂

By the way, how does Mr. Darcy even factor into a conversation about modesty and reserve?