Is having five kids actually worth it?

Whether the author is just messing around or straight-up trolling doesn't really matter. It's all the same to me.
Some people just think that way, so I might as well write the post anyway.

You really ought to ask a woman upfront if she wants five kids before you get too deep into things.
You’ve really got to run the numbers first to see if you can actually afford to bankroll those five kids.
Sure, money isn't happiness... but you need it to exist. It’s as fundamental as food, water, or basic hygiene. Honestly, I think it’s pretty irresponsible to have a bunch of kids and then let them wander around barefoot and hungry just because you want to preach that "money doesn't buy happiness." Money that provides a decent life? That’s happiness. Period. It’s just as much of a blessing as having a healthy heart, steady blood pressure, or a strong immune system. Actually, it might be more important. You can manage high blood pressure or a dodgy heart with modern medicine, but there’s no cure for having zero dollars to buy a loaf of bread. Don't get me wrong—having too much money doesn't guarantee bliss either. There's a point where it becomes meaningless, where you're just throwing cash away for the sake of it.
Having twenty Mercedes and BMWs sitting in your garage isn't exactly a recipe for happiness. We all know it.
So, check this out. I was at the park the other day with my kid. We’re just hanging out, playing around, when suddenly my little guy—he's only about a year old—spots this girl eating an ice cream cone.
He marched straight over to her, sat down right next to her, and just started leaning his head toward her ice cream. Honestly, it was kind of hilarious to watch. But my heart just sank immediately. I grabbed him, pulled him into the shop, and bought him his own scoop. It wasn't because he was throwing a tantrum over someone else's dessert—it was just that the thought of not being able to buy my kid an ice cream when he wants one at the park absolutely broke me.
I actually felt pretty happy just buying him that ice cream and watching him absolutely demolish it.
Yeah, obviously... I got hit with that wave of sadness again just thinking about it. Imagine if I actually didn't have the cash to buy my kid an ice cream. Just a horrible thought.

Keep going.

An acquaintance of mine has five kids.
They only breed once a year. 😢
Just look at her. Seriously, just take a look. 😢
First off, I think it’s completely inhumane and just plain unhealthy to treat a woman like she's nothing more than a baby factory.
You really need at least three years between pregnancies. It gives a woman enough time to actually recover from the last one.
I honestly can't wrap my head around how some women manage to get pregnant again just two months after giving birth. Seriously. It’s wild. Even a year later, I still get dizzy if I stand up too fast after sitting down for a bit. And don't even get me started on the hair loss—it hasn't been as bad as the initial blowout, but it’s still happening way more than I'd like. Between pregnancy and the postpartum exhaustion, I ended up dropping 12 pounds total. I was just completely wiped out. Knowing where I'm at right now? I really don't think I could handle another pregnancy. Not anytime soon.

They’re basically just charity cases.
Whenever her kids come over, my mom whips up a homemade pizza for them, and honestly? They act like she just handed them the keys to the kingdom.
Then you listen to them talk:
Let's go watch John eat.
Honestly, it’s gut-wrenching. I look at those kids and I just want to take them in myself—feed them, clothe them, and raise them right. Give them the kind of life they actually deserve.

At the end of the day, it’s all about my husband and the kids.
You want to give every single one of them your full attention.
How?
The second you hit that three or four-year mark—you know, finally reaching that sweet spot where they aren't breathing down your neck asking "Mom, Mom, Mom!" every five seconds—you go out and get another one. Then it’s back to square one. A second kid, a third, a fourth, a fifth... it just never ends.
Your kid suffers, your husband suffers, your sex life goes down the drain, and eventually, you’re the one left picking up all the pieces.

And you know what the absolute kicker is in this whole mess?

Having four, five, or even six kids isn't some kind of insurance policy against ending up alone when you're old. It’s just not.

I've already posted about this on Reddit.

My aunt has four kids.
Four ungrateful kids, all well into their 30s now, and they still don't know how to run their own damn laundry.
They've got two sons and two daughters.
I honestly thought if it wasn't the sons, at least the daughters would step up and give their mother some actual support.
Trust me, her daughters aren't exactly running to grab her a soda the second she asks. Not happening.
Nah, they won't. Why?
Because they just won't.
Take her daughters, for example... when my stepmom had her uterus and ovaries removed and came home from the hospital... her daughters were in the next room taking selfies and doing photo shoots for Facebook, leaving a massive mess and dirty dishes everywhere. It didn't even cross their minds to clean up because, hey... they know their mom is going to be back to working like a dog just three days after such a major surgery... because that's just who she is. She totally sacrificed herself for her stupid, lazy, ungrateful kids, and this is how they pay her back for everything—for all the cleaning, the laundry, the cooking, the schooling, listening to their drama, and waiting up until 4 AM when they’d stumble in from some club... yeah, exactly like that.
Basically, she was never really "busy." The kids weren't in daycare. She was home all day long.

My mom, for instance... she had four of us.
But she wasn't the type to quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom.
No way. I was literally sent to preschool for my first birthday since that was the earliest you could enroll. She was back at work just a few weeks after having me.
She had the first three kids within five years... and then suddenly, out of nowhere, there's me, twenty years later. 🤣 So the first three were raised as "siblings," while I was basically raised as an only child because by the time I showed up, they had already moved out with their wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever...

I'm not trying to be conceited... I'm just being real... 🤣
Even though my mom drives me absolutely insane sometimes...
And even though I tell her exactly what I think now.
Even though I think out of the four of us... she was the most unfair to me (she had the first three in her 20s, so she was full of life and energy... but she had me at 40, and right after that, my dad passed away and became disabled, so she was already on edge, probably, and she constantly spirals into paranoia—like, "watch out, there are crazies out there, someone's gonna kidnap you, someone's gonna sell you into human trafficking"... just that kind of nonsense.)
Despite all that... I honestly admit I'm the closest to her out of the four of us. 🤷
I always followed her around like a lost puppy.
And I still call her every single day. Even if she's a total emotional vampire and knows exactly how to get under my skin with her stories... we still talk every day. And it's not like I don't care whether she has $33 in her pocket or not... I can't stand it when I go visit her over the summer... when she acts like *I'm* the one who's helpless... and I keep trying to prove to her that it's my turn now, telling her to let me do the laundry, wash the floors, dust, etc. (even though she never actually taught me any of that because she always treated me like I was incompetent... I had to force myself to learn how to cook, clean, and do laundry on my own.)

So.
The point.
No. Having five kids guarantees nothing.
Though, look at it this way...
You have four kids... and maybe at least one will be decent to you in the end. 🤣

Sorry. Look. It's a harsh reality. If you're thinking about having kids just so you won't be alone when you're old... don't hold your breath.
Honestly, don't have them at all.

But I have to say one thing...
The fact that I have two brothers and a sister means the world to me, and because of that, I am grateful to my mother for having four of us.
Both my brothers and my sister are married, and they all have kids that I also love to death. I get along with everyone (especially my sister, with whom I can finally communicate as equals... though I still have a lot to learn before I reach her age... but since there's a 21-year gap... we communicate great and understand each other... I guess once I had my own kids, she started seeing me more as a woman and less like a little girl).

But even that isn't a guarantee.🤣
I know people who grew up with three brothers and three sisters... and they can't stand each other. They don't talk, they've fought over the most ridiculous, petty nonsense... honestly, it’s just depressing and sad to see.
But look, it really comes down to how you raise them.
In my family, I can't even imagine going days, months, or years without talking to my brother or sister. It’s just not how we work.
Sure, we might clash or get into a heated argument where we tell each other exactly what we think... but cutting each other off forever? No way. Not happening.
We’ve always had each other's backs, and so, once again, thanks, Mom. 😍

edit—now I sound like I'm trying to say only children are more grateful to their parents in the end.
I didn't mean that.

What I meant is that neither having one kid nor many guarantees "success" when it comes to whether your children will ever repay you.
My husband was an only child, and he feels absolutely nothing toward his parents.
To be honest, that hits me hard sometimes... but I think they brought that on themselves.

If someone is thinking about having kids just because they expect a reward later, they shouldn't have kids at all.
You have kids if you're ready to make sacrifices without expecting anything in return.
And that’s actually the whole point of being a parent.
Expect zero rewards.

All this stuff about whether your kids will pamper you and take care of you when you're old? That's just a bonus. It might come with the package, but it's not part of the deal.

Oh yeah, you also conveniently forgot to mention HOW exactly one is supposed to go about having these kids.

That was a pretty low blow on your part. 😵

So, here’s the plan: first, you have one—ideally a girl. Then, two years later, you have another. After that, you wait about eight or ten years before having twins. Since managing them all alone is clearly impossible, you just put the first child to work. From then on, you have one more every single year. Pretty soon, those first two will have developed such a seamless workflow that they can basically raise your entire brood for you! 👍

Kevin Bailey2 said:Whether the author is just messing around or straight-up trolling doesn't really matter. It's all the same to me.
Some people just think that way, so I might as well write the post anyway.

You really ought to ask a woman upfront if she wants five kids before you get too deep into things.
You’ve really got to run the numbers first to see if you can actually afford to bankroll those five kids.
Sure, money isn't happiness... but you need it to exist. It’s as fundamental as food, water, or basic hygiene. Honestly, I think it’s pretty irresponsible to have a bunch of kids and then let them wander around barefoot and hungry just because you want to preach that "money doesn't buy happiness." Money that provides a decent life? That’s happiness. Period. It’s just as much of a blessing as having a healthy heart, steady blood pressure, or a strong immune system. Actually, it might be more important. You can manage high blood pressure or a dodgy heart with modern medicine, but there’s no cure for having zero dollars to buy a loaf of bread. Don't get me wrong—having too much money doesn't guarantee bliss either. There's a point where it becomes meaningless, where you're just throwing cash away for the sake of it.
Having twenty Mercedes and BMWs sitting in your garage isn't exactly a recipe for happiness. We all know it.
So, check this out. I was at the park the other day with my kid. We’re just hanging out, playing around, when suddenly my little guy—he's only about a year old—spots this girl eating an ice cream cone.
He marched straight over to her, sat down right next to her, and just started leaning his head toward her ice cream. Honestly, it was kind of hilarious to watch. But my heart just sank immediately. I grabbed him, pulled him into the shop, and bought him his own scoop. It wasn't because he was throwing a tantrum over someone else's dessert—it was just that the thought of not being able to buy my kid an ice cream when he wants one at the park absolutely broke me.
I actually felt pretty happy just buying him that ice cream and watching him absolutely demolish it.
Yeah, obviously... I got hit with that wave of sadness again just thinking about it. Imagine if I actually didn't have the cash to buy my kid an ice cream. Just a horrible thought.

Keep going.

An acquaintance of mine has five kids.
They only breed once a year. 😢
Just look at her. Seriously, just take a look. 😢
First off, I think it’s completely inhumane and just plain unhealthy to treat a woman like she's nothing more than a baby factory.
You really need at least three years between pregnancies. It gives a woman enough time to actually recover from the last one.
I honestly can't wrap my head around how some women manage to get pregnant again just two months after giving birth. Seriously. It’s wild. Even a year later, I still get dizzy if I stand up too fast after sitting down for a bit. And don't even get me started on the hair loss—it hasn't been as bad as the initial blowout, but it’s still happening way more than I'd like. Between pregnancy and the postpartum exhaustion, I ended up dropping 12 pounds total. I was just completely wiped out. Knowing where I'm at right now? I really don't think I could handle another pregnancy. Not anytime soon.

They’re basically just charity cases.
Whenever her kids come over, my mom whips up a homemade pizza for them, and honestly? They act like she just handed them the keys to the kingdom.
Then you listen to them talk:
Let's go watch John eat.
Honestly, it’s gut-wrenching. I look at those kids and I just want to take them in myself—feed them, clothe them, and raise them right. Give them the kind of life they actually deserve.

At the end of the day, it’s all about my husband and the kids.
You want to give every single one of them your full attention.
How?
The second you hit that three or four-year mark—you know, finally reaching that sweet spot where they aren't breathing down your neck asking "Mom, Mom, Mom!" every five seconds—you go out and get another one. Then it’s back to square one. A second kid, a third, a fourth, a fifth... it just never ends.
Your kid suffers, your husband suffers, your sex life goes down the drain, and eventually, you’re the one left picking up all the pieces.

And you know what the absolute kicker is in this whole mess?

Having four, five, or even six kids isn't some kind of insurance policy against ending up alone when you're old. It’s just not.

I've already posted about this on Reddit.

My aunt has four kids.
Four ungrateful kids, all well into their 30s now, and they still don't know how to run their own damn laundry.
They've got two sons and two daughters.
I honestly thought if it wasn't the sons, at least the daughters would step up and give their mother some actual support.
Trust me, her daughters aren't exactly running to grab her a soda the second she asks. Not happening.
Nah, they won't. Why?
Because they just won't.
Take her daughters, for example... when my stepmom had her uterus and ovaries removed and came home from the hospital... her daughters were in the next room taking selfies and doing photo shoots for Facebook, leaving a massive mess and dirty dishes everywhere. It didn't even cross their minds to clean up because, hey... they know their mom is going to be back to working like a dog just three days after such a major surgery... because that's just who she is. She totally sacrificed herself for her stupid, lazy, ungrateful kids, and this is how they pay her back for everything—for all the cleaning, the laundry, the cooking, the schooling, listening to their drama, and waiting up until 4 AM when they’d stumble in from some club... yeah, exactly like that.
Basically, she was never really "busy." The kids weren't in daycare. She was home all day long.

My mom, for instance... she had four of us.
But she wasn't the type to quit her job to be a stay-at-home mom.
No way. I was literally sent to preschool for my first birthday since that was the earliest you could enroll. She was back at work just a few weeks after having me.
She had the first three kids within five years... and then suddenly, out of nowhere, there's me, twenty years later. 🤣 So the first three were raised as "siblings," while I was basically raised as an only child because by the time I showed up, they had already moved out with their wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, whatever...

I'm not trying to be conceited... I'm just being real... 🤣
Even though my mom drives me absolutely insane sometimes...
And even though I tell her exactly what I think now.
Even though I think out of the four of us... she was the most unfair to me (she had the first three in her 20s, so she was full of life and energy... but she had me at 40, and right after that, my dad passed away and became disabled, so she was already on edge, probably, and she constantly spirals into paranoia—like, "watch out, there are crazies out there, someone's gonna kidnap you, someone's gonna sell you into human trafficking"... just that kind of nonsense.)
Despite all that... I honestly admit I'm the closest to her out of the four of us. 🤷
I always followed her around like a lost puppy.
And I still call her every single day. Even if she's a total emotional vampire and knows exactly how to get under my skin with her stories... we still talk every day. And it's not like I don't care whether she has $33 in her pocket or not... I can't stand it when I go visit her over the summer... when she acts like *I'm* the one who's helpless... and I keep trying to prove to her that it's my turn now, telling her to let me do the laundry, wash the floors, dust, etc. (even though she never actually taught me any of that because she always treated me like I was incompetent... I had to force myself to learn how to cook, clean, and do laundry on my own.)

So.
The point.
No. Having five kids guarantees nothing.
Though, look at it this way...
You have four kids... and maybe at least one will be decent to you in the end. 🤣

Sorry. Look. It's a harsh reality. If you're thinking about having kids just so you won't be alone when you're old... don't hold your breath.
Honestly, don't have them at all.

But I have to say one thing...
The fact that I have two brothers and a sister means the world to me, and because of that, I am grateful to my mother for having four of us.
Both my brothers and my sister are married, and they all have kids that I also love to death. I get along with everyone (especially my sister, with whom I can finally communicate as equals... though I still have a lot to learn before I reach her age... but since there's a 21-year gap... we communicate great and understand each other... I guess once I had my own kids, she started seeing me more as a woman and less like a little girl).

But even that isn't a guarantee.🤣
I know people who grew up with three brothers and three sisters... and they can't stand each other. They don't talk, they've fought over the most ridiculous, petty nonsense... honestly, it’s just depressing and sad to see.
But look, it really comes down to how you raise them.
In my family, I can't even imagine going days, months, or years without talking to my brother or sister. It’s just not how we work.
Sure, we might clash or get into a heated argument where we tell each other exactly what we think... but cutting each other off forever? No way. Not happening.
We’ve always had each other's backs, and so, once again, thanks, Mom. 😍

edit—now I sound like I'm trying to say only children are more grateful to their parents in the end.
I didn't mean that.

What I meant is that neither having one kid nor many guarantees "success" when it comes to whether your children will ever repay you.
My husband was an only child, and he feels absolutely nothing toward his parents.
To be honest, that hits me hard sometimes... but I think they brought that on themselves.

If someone is thinking about having kids just because they expect a reward later, they shouldn't have kids at all.
You have kids if you're ready to make sacrifices without expecting anything in return.
And that’s actually the whole point of being a parent.
Expect zero rewards.

All this stuff about whether your kids will pamper you and take care of you when you're old? That's just a bonus. It might come with the package, but it's not part of the deal.

It comes down to parenting. People treat their kids like they're helpless, then act surprised when they turn into lazy adults. My brother has four kids, and when we all got together at Grandma's, I had them working hard. They were scrubbing floors by age three, helping in the garden, or helping me make treats by dipping cookies in milk—though my mom usually ended up tidying up after them. Now, the oldest girl is six, and the other day she made grapefruit lemonade for everyone just because she felt like it. No one asked her to. They're doing just fine.

Look, folks, you’re overlooking the obvious—it's standard practice now for every kid to have their own PC or laptop, and honestly, seeing toddlers handed a smartphone is becoming the norm. 🤣 So, go ahead, just imagine trying to manage five smartphones at once. 😁

Jokes aside, raising kids today is incredibly expensive, let alone trying to juggle five of them... I know money isn't everything, but let's be real—cash is a necessary evil if you want to actually function in modern society. I think one thing is seeing some idealized fantasy in a movie starring Steve Martin http://www.filmski.net/filmovi/643/popust_na_kolicinu and the other is facing the actual reality of life...

I mean, sure, it’s way easier to just have one or two kids. You aren't splitting the bills four or five ways, and maybe you even have enough left over to buy yourselves something nice once in a while. 😉 Plus, you actually have some free time...
Look, I get it. It’s about choice, right? And honestly, I respect that.
But at the end of the day, this is mostly about sacrifice—whether it's emotional or financial, it doesn't matter. You do it for the kid. That goes for one child just as much as any other. Having five kids doesn't exactly mean you're sacrificing five times as much; a lot of those struggles just overlap 😁.
But this idea that having a big family is impossible, or "unnatural" like people love to claim? That’s just plain wrong.
I am constantly hearing people chime in with stuff like: "Oh, she's pregnant again" 😲, "They're going for a third kid" 😲 "How irresponsible," "What a disgrace..."
And don't even get me started on the comments people make about a fifth child...

I really have to wonder what drives someone to judge a person's fourth or fifth child like that. Are they just trying to justify why they only had one?

It’s funny how guys always seem to jump in just to lecture you on why having five kids is the absolute dream—not only is it "great," but they act like it’s somehow selfish if you don't aim for at least five

Honestly, if one of them tried that with me, I’d just tell them to go ahead and have the first one, then I'll handle the other four myself

A mom with five kids doesn't have time to just sit around idling on some forum.😁

Quincy:

I don't know what you're getting at with "soks." If you've got something to say, just say it. Don't waste my time. kaže: It all comes down to how you raise them. People treat kids like they’re made of glass, then act shocked when they grow up and have zero drive. My brother has four kids, and back when we all got together at my mom's place, I had them working like little pros. They were scrubbing tiles at three years old, helping out in the garden, or assisting me with making treats—like having the youngest dunk Petit Beurre cookies in milk while I worked. Of course, my mom would clean up the mess afterward, but the kids still help her fold the laundry and stuff. The oldest is six now, and the other day she just decided to whip up some grapefruit lemonade for everyone. Nobody even asked; she just had the idea herself. Honestly, they're doing great.

I'm with you on that.
I'm not about to raise my kid to be helpless. Honestly, I'm doing it for his own sake. The sooner he learns how to hold his own, the easier his life will be.
And another thing... I’ve always felt that kids absolutely hate being treated like they're incompetent. Most of the time, they actually enjoy just being helped out.
Haha. Mine's only a year old, but he thinks he’s part of everything we do.
The other day I’m dragging this heavy little stool from my bedroom into the living room, and out of nowhere, he charges in. He grabs the other end and starts pushing with everything he's got. I’m just standing there pulling, yelling at him, "Look at you! Helping Mommy! You're so strong!" and he’s just screaming with pure joy. To him, it’s all just one big game. It was honestly hilarious to watch. But honestly? What I love is that he’s already showing this stubborn streak where he wants to do everything himself. Like, he actually insists on showering by himself now—I’m serious, he’ll grab the loofah and start scrubbing away. 🤣 So, the other day I’m messing around with my towel after a shower—you know how it is, just rubbing it over your head, being a total idiot—and then it happens. Right when I'm trying to grab a spoon. Honestly, it’s ridiculous. He just wants to do everything his way, even if it means everything ends up hitting the floor. 🤣 So, I gave him a pot of pasta and sauce yesterday. He started out using a wooden spoon, then moved on to a spoon, then just went straight for his hands. By the end, he basically just shoved his entire face into the pot. 🤣

True. We can't have it looking like parents are just out here coaching their kids into disability claims.
LOL. Listen to this.
I’ve got an acquaintance from my old preschool days—honestly, I can't even remember if she was a psychologist or a counselor since I wasn't actually there—who I need to reach out to with a question:
Why on earth is your three-year-old cleaning up their toys? For kids that age, it’s supposed to be about play, not chores.
Are you kidding me right now? If someone tried pulling that kind of nonsense with me, I’d personally shove that overpriced, fake degree right back up their ass.
I can't wrap my head around why anyone would bother storing toys for a kid until they're seven. It’s overkill. If you scatter them all over the floor, you'll just end up picking them up anyway—it's that simple. Honestly, I'd rather just focus on making sure they actually understand how things work.
By three years old, they’re already savvy enough to get themselves into plenty of trouble.
It's a whole different thing when people start underestimating them.

Richard Richardson68 said:I mean, sure, it’s way easier to just have one or two kids. You aren't splitting the bills four or five ways, and maybe you even have enough left over to buy yourselves something nice once in a while. 😉 Plus, you actually have some free time...
Look, I get it. It’s about choice, right? And honestly, I respect that.
But at the end of the day, this is mostly about sacrifice—whether it's emotional or financial, it doesn't matter. You do it for the kid. That goes for one child just as much as any other. Having five kids doesn't exactly mean you're sacrificing five times as much; a lot of those struggles just overlap 😁.
But this idea that having a big family is impossible, or "unnatural" like people love to claim? That’s just plain wrong.
I am constantly hearing people chime in with stuff like: "Oh, she's pregnant again" 😲, "They're going for a third kid" 😲 "How irresponsible," "What a disgrace..."
And don't even get me started on the comments people make about a fifth child...

I really have to wonder what drives someone to judge a person's fourth or fifth child like that. Are they just trying to justify why they only had one?

Look, I wasn't trying to put anyone down, discriminate, or be offensive. That wasn't my intention at all.
I hate seeing people leave comments like that. It’s just ugly.

But look, I’m just stating facts... like postpartum recovery... speaking purely from one woman to another... how? How can you even conceive again just two months after giving birth?
I mean, good for you if you actually have the energy... because you're starting a pregnancy on a body that's already a total wreck... plus you've got the added weight of an older kid who needs constant, non-stop attention.
I couldn't do it.
That doesn't mean I'm judging those women.
It's just that I don't think it's a smart move. I see them coming onto these forums later, complaining about how they're drowning or how they can't even find five minutes to take a shower... and seriously... why would you put yourself in a spot where you can't even grab a shower?

My take? Three kids is the sweet spot.
And at least four years between them.
A four-year-old isn't in diapers anymore... they can feed themselves and get dressed (if you actually taught them how, lol)... and you can hand them off to their dad to play without a meltdown. My little one is only a year old and it's still hard to separate us for even half an hour... he plays with his dad for a few minutes and then comes sprinting back to my room. Imagine if I had a newborn right now... I'd be trying to care for a tiny baby while this one is jumping all over my head.

Truth is... I know my kid would probably be happier if I just churned out brothers and sisters one after another so they were close in age and could play together...
But I wouldn't... not for him. I'm way too selfish for that.
So, his next sibling won't show up for maybe... ten years. 🤣
I had my first at 21, so I'm giving myself a break until I'm 33. 😛
But if it happens sooner—whatever. I'm not having an abortion.
And even if the idea of being pregnant again or having another kid right now sounds tempting... my brain says "no"—there is zero chance. Right now??? Not with this kid screaming "mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy" at me 24/7....

No!!!!!! 🙂

Angela Newman33 said:It’s funny how guys always seem to jump in just to lecture you on why having five kids is the absolute dream—not only is it "great," but they act like it’s somehow selfish if you don't aim for at least five

Honestly, if one of them tried that with me, I’d just tell them to go ahead and have the first one, then I'll handle the other four myself

Or better yet, let him have the first four and I'll take the fifth. 🤣 🤣 🤣

I remember my dad once losing his cool with my mom—he actually yelled at her, asking why she hadn't just had five kids so there’d be enough hands to help out with the family farm!!! Are we talking about raising decent, hardworking kids here, or just training a bunch of laborers and servants?! Hmm...😕

Most guys find this whole thing totally abstract

If you actually want a big family, one parent basically has to grind all day long
while the other is stuck at home 24/7—cooking, cleaning, tidying up, just handling everything single-handedly

Kids aren't cheap, let's get that straight
I’m not saying they need to be spoiled brats with iPhones since they were in diapers
but, say, they need new shoes constantly because they grow out of them so fast
plus clothes
and everyone needs their own bed—and if you want them to have their own beds (not even kidding, they'll eventually need their own rooms or at least a desk for school), you need actual space, which means a massive house or an apartment
and if you want to fit everyone in the car for a trip, you're looking at a huge SUV or maybe a Ford Transit van😁
None of this is "bourgeoisie" nonsense; it’s just basic necessity if you're aiming for a large family

And I don't even want to get into what happens when one of those kids gets sick and you're stuck hovering over them indefinitely

Realistically, having kids takes a ton of energy, time, and love... especially when there are a lot of them. At that point, it becomes a 24/7 battle

But how would the guy know? He's at the office while the biggest "battle" is happening at home... he's the one sleeping while the baby cries through the night... he's the one watching from the sidelines while his wife pushes herself to the absolute limit through endless pregnancies

And yeah, a woman who is constantly pregnant or breastfeeding can't really hold down a job, let alone build a career... so the other partner has to earn double to feed everyone... which means working harder and longer, only to come home wired and exhausted, collapsing onto the couch

Anyway... it's the kind of life everyone claims they want

p.s. I have three brothers (officially)

Kevin Bailey2 said:Or better yet, let him have the first four and I'll take the fifth. 🤣 🤣 🤣

Look, if I could actually pull off having four kids, why would I even stop at that? Why break the streak? 😁

Kevin Bailey2 said:Quincy:

I don't know what you're getting at with "soks." If you've got something to say, just say it. Don't waste my time. kaže: It all comes down to how you raise them. People treat kids like they’re made of glass, then act shocked when they grow up and have zero drive. My brother has four kids, and back when we all got together at my mom's place, I had them working like little pros. They were scrubbing tiles at three years old, helping out in the garden, or assisting me with making treats—like having the youngest dunk Petit Beurre cookies in milk while I worked. Of course, my mom would clean up the mess afterward, but the kids still help her fold the laundry and stuff. The oldest is six now, and the other day she just decided to whip up some grapefruit lemonade for everyone. Nobody even asked; she just had the idea herself. Honestly, they're doing great.

I'm with you on that.
I'm not about to raise my kid to be helpless. Honestly, I'm doing it for his own sake. The sooner he learns how to hold his own, the easier his life will be.
And another thing... I’ve always felt that kids absolutely hate being treated like they're incompetent. Most of the time, they actually enjoy just being helped out.
Haha. Mine's only a year old, but he thinks he’s part of everything we do.
The other day I’m dragging this heavy little stool from my bedroom into the living room, and out of nowhere, he charges in. He grabs the other end and starts pushing with everything he's got. I’m just standing there pulling, yelling at him, "Look at you! Helping Mommy! You're so strong!" and he’s just screaming with pure joy. To him, it’s all just one big game. It was honestly hilarious to watch. But honestly? What I love is that he’s already showing this stubborn streak where he wants to do everything himself. Like, he actually insists on showering by himself now—I’m serious, he’ll grab the loofah and start scrubbing away. 🤣 So, the other day I’m messing around with my towel after a shower—you know how it is, just rubbing it over your head, being a total idiot—and then it happens. Right when I'm trying to grab a spoon. Honestly, it’s ridiculous. He just wants to do everything his way, even if it means everything ends up hitting the floor. 🤣 So, I gave him a pot of pasta and sauce yesterday. He started out using a wooden spoon, then moved on to a spoon, then just went straight for his hands. By the end, he basically just shoved his entire face into the pot. 🤣

True. We can't have it looking like parents are just out here coaching their kids into disability claims.
LOL. Listen to this.
I’ve got an acquaintance from my old preschool days—honestly, I can't even remember if she was a psychologist or a counselor since I wasn't actually there—who I need to reach out to with a question:
Why on earth is your three-year-old cleaning up their toys? For kids that age, it’s supposed to be about play, not chores.
Are you kidding me right now? If someone tried pulling that kind of nonsense with me, I’d personally shove that overpriced, fake degree right back up their ass.
I can't wrap my head around why anyone would bother storing toys for a kid until they're seven. It’s overkill. If you scatter them all over the floor, you'll just end up picking them up anyway—it's that simple. Honestly, I'd rather just focus on making sure they actually understand how things work.
By three years old, they’re already savvy enough to get themselves into plenty of trouble.
It's a whole different thing when people start underestimating them.

Look, I wasn't trying to put anyone down, discriminate, or be offensive. That wasn't my intention at all.
I hate seeing people leave comments like that. It’s just ugly.

But look, I’m just stating facts... like postpartum recovery... speaking purely from one woman to another... how? How can you even conceive again just two months after giving birth?
I mean, good for you if you actually have the energy... because you're starting a pregnancy on a body that's already a total wreck... plus you've got the added weight of an older kid who needs constant, non-stop attention.
I couldn't do it.
That doesn't mean I'm judging those women.
It's just that I don't think it's a smart move. I see them coming onto these forums later, complaining about how they're drowning or how they can't even find five minutes to take a shower... and seriously... why would you put yourself in a spot where you can't even grab a shower?

My take? Three kids is the sweet spot.
And at least four years between them.
A four-year-old isn't in diapers anymore... they can feed themselves and get dressed (if you actually taught them how, lol)... and you can hand them off to their dad to play without a meltdown. My little one is only a year old and it's still hard to separate us for even half an hour... he plays with his dad for a few minutes and then comes sprinting back to my room. Imagine if I had a newborn right now... I'd be trying to care for a tiny baby while this one is jumping all over my head.

Truth is... I know my kid would probably be happier if I just churned out brothers and sisters one after another so they were close in age and could play together...
But I wouldn't... not for him. I'm way too selfish for that.
So, his next sibling won't show up for maybe... ten years. 🤣
I had my first at 21, so I'm giving myself a break until I'm 33. 😛
But if it happens sooner—whatever. I'm not having an abortion.
And even if the idea of being pregnant again or having another kid right now sounds tempting... my brain says "no"—there is zero chance. Right now??? Not with this kid screaming "mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy-mommy" at me 24/7....

No!!!!!! 🙂

I know people where even one kid is way too much. They’re just totally lost in space and time. Their lives are a complete disaster zone of bad organization, zero free time, and nothing but constant complaining and misery...

Angela Newman33 said:Most guys find this whole thing totally abstract

If you actually want a big family, one parent basically has to grind all day long
while the other is stuck at home 24/7—cooking, cleaning, tidying up, just handling everything single-handedly

Kids aren't cheap, let's get that straight
I’m not saying they need to be spoiled brats with iPhones since they were in diapers
but, say, they need new shoes constantly because they grow out of them so fast
plus clothes
and everyone needs their own bed—and if you want them to have their own beds (not even kidding, they'll eventually need their own rooms or at least a desk for school), you need actual space, which means a massive house or an apartment
and if you want to fit everyone in the car for a trip, you're looking at a huge SUV or maybe a Ford Transit van😁
None of this is "bourgeoisie" nonsense; it’s just basic necessity if you're aiming for a large family

And I don't even want to get into what happens when one of those kids gets sick and you're stuck hovering over them indefinitely

Realistically, having kids takes a ton of energy, time, and love... especially when there are a lot of them. At that point, it becomes a 24/7 battle

But how would the guy know? He's at the office while the biggest "battle" is happening at home... he's the one sleeping while the baby cries through the night... he's the one watching from the sidelines while his wife pushes herself to the absolute limit through endless pregnancies

And yeah, a woman who is constantly pregnant or breastfeeding can't really hold down a job, let alone build a career... so the other partner has to earn double to feed everyone... which means working harder and longer, only to come home wired and exhausted, collapsing onto the couch

Anyway... it's the kind of life everyone claims they want

p.s. I have three brothers (officially)

Look, I'm a guy, but if I were a woman dealing with this, I wouldn't have a single kid by now😁

Is that maybe why people think this way?

Richard Richardson68 said:Look, if I could actually pull off having four kids, why would I even stop at that? Why break the streak? 😁

I know people where even one kid is way too much. They’re just totally lost in space and time. Their lives are a complete disaster zone of bad organization, zero free time, and nothing but constant complaining and misery...

So, how many kids do you actually have? And if you do, what's your actual role in their lives—how much are you really stepping up when it comes to the day-to-day grind and the actual parenting part?

Richard Richardson68 said:Look, I'm a guy, but if I were a woman dealing with this, I wouldn't have a single kid by now😁

Is that maybe why people think this way?

Honestly, if you’ve actually seen how a massive family operates up close, you’d realize it’s just daily grind stuff... it’s not some romanticized dream where a huge family somehow sustains itself while a bunch of little elves handle the cooking, cleaning, and earning the paycheck while everyone else naps.

Look, folks, we aren't talking philosophy here... this is straight-up math

If one person is running about one load of laundry a week... two people are looking at maybe 2 or 3 loads
Now, if you throw a kid into the mix, you’re adding another two loads a week—because kids basically live in dirty clothes

So, you just multiply that by the number of kids you've got

A family with five kids is dealing with at least one massive mountain of laundry every single day—wash it, hang it, fold it, and shove it all back into closets
And that’s just the laundry, nothing else

It’s pretty much the same deal with almost everything else in a household that happens on a daily basis

Angela Newman33 said:Honestly, if you’ve actually seen how a massive family operates up close, you’d realize it’s just daily grind stuff... it’s not some romanticized dream where a huge family somehow sustains itself while a bunch of little elves handle the cooking, cleaning, and earning the paycheck while everyone else naps.

There were seven of us growing up.

Richard Richardson68 said:There were seven of us growing up.

aha, and how many times a day were you doing dishes, cooking, or running laundry?

Angela Newman33 said:So, how many kids do you actually have? And if you do, what's your actual role in their lives—how much are you really stepping up when it comes to the day-to-day grind and the actual parenting part?

I don't even know if there's any point in listing everything I do. I guess this thread should probably stay more general 🤷.
But fine, here goes 😁: once I get home from work, the baby is 100% my responsibility. I mean, feeding, watching them, getting them down for naps, bath time (from day one until they can finally manage it themselves), middle-of-the-night feedings, doctor appointments—all of it. That is, until I have to head back to the office the next morning. If I'm not holding the kid, it's because I'm doing something else that needs doing: taking out the trash, hitting the grocery store, maybe cooking lunch on the weekends, mowing the lawn... stuff like that
. The only time I actually get a second to breathe is when they're asleep 😉.

Am I complaining? No. Honestly, I love every single second I spend with them.
I just wish there were more of them already. But hey, that's just the result of life's compromises, not because we can't afford it or anything.

Richard Richardson68 said:Look, I'm a guy, but if I were a woman dealing with this, I wouldn't have a single kid by now😁

Is that maybe why people think this way?

Well, since you're a guy, you won't exactly be dealing with milk production—so no middle-of-the-night nursing sessions for you.
And honestly, no matter how much of an optimist you think you are, your body isn't going through the physical exhaustion of pregnancy. You'll just be standing there watching from the sidelines while your better half goes through the whole ordeal.