Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Henry Garcia9 said:Thanks. I hope you’re hanging in there and that your treatment plan is actually working for you. 🙂 Honestly, the worst part about this whole thing is the silence you're forced into. You can't exactly bring it up at work, in class, or even with casual friends without feeling like everyone's suddenly judging you or looking at you like you're some kind of freak. It's weird. Like, if you tell someone you've been managing diabetes for years, people get it—they nod and move on. But with schizoaffective disorder? There's this unwritten rule that you just have to keep your mouth shut.
Larry Lewis, how old are you, and how long have you been dealing with this?

I'm not doing bad, though I definitely get hit with a few rough days in a row sometimes—though for me, it's more depressive symptoms than anything else. I don't really experience those specific schizo episodes; it’s more like this heavy sadness or just being completely out of sorts. For me, everything started back when I was in the military—I was only 21 then, and I'm 33 now—but 2008 was pure hell. Absolute living hell. I ended up checking myself into a psychiatric ward in Portland all on my own. Once I got through that hospitalization, things finally started looking up. My close friends who have known me forever know my diagnosis, but I don't bother telling anyone else.
Does anyone have a history of schizoaffective disorder in their family? My aunt had it, and honestly, her life was just incredibly bleak because of the illness.
And you know, I've known these guys for ages, but ever since I got sick, I haven't really felt like part of the crew anymore. It used to eat at me, but now? I don't even care enough to try. I see them once a week when we go hacking around, and that's about it.
When I first got back from my service and told the group I was running with at the time, man, the ridicule I got... I couldn't believe it. I was younger then, though, so it cut much deeper.
Anyway, I'm more stable now, but it took me well over four years of grinding to actually get to this point.

Nah. There isn’t a single trace of MS in my family tree—not even a hint—but despite the crazy low odds, I still ended up with it. Honestly, hearing you talk about those symptoms that just won't quit... I get it. I deal with those low moods too, and I definitely don't hit the town nearly as much as I used to since getting sick. But those are pretty much the only ways the disease hits me. I'm 23 now, and this whole thing kicked off when I was 17 with a brutal bout of depression. Have you spent a lot of time stuck in the hospital?

Henry Garcia9 said:Nah. There isn’t a single trace of MS in my family tree—not even a hint—but despite the crazy low odds, I still ended up with it. Honestly, hearing you talk about those symptoms that just won't quit... I get it. I deal with those low moods too, and I definitely don't hit the town nearly as much as I used to since getting sick. But those are pretty much the only ways the disease hits me. I'm 23 now, and this whole thing kicked off when I was 17 with a brutal bout of depression. Have you spent a lot of time stuck in the hospital?

Oh, please—it’s a blessing there are people out there hearing voices for years on end; what you and I are dealing with is practically nothing by comparison.
Well, sure, you're younger and at that age where you should actually be out living life—so why aren't you going out?

If I had taken things seriously when it first hit, and if I'd possessed even an ounce of actual wisdom back then, maybe I would've fared better... but hey, I learned the hard way, didn't I?🙂

I was hospitalized right after finishing my service—straight to the Mayo Clinic, that was back in the last century🙂and then later, when things were at their absolute worst in 2008, and finally in 2009, I actually arranged to stay in the hospital for a few weeks just to get my meds adjusted.

I'm genuinely curious about what kind of medication you're on—feel free to shoot me a private message if you're uncomfortable sharing here.
As for me, I'm loaded up on everything from antipsychotics to antidepressants to those calming pills; I'm practically a floating pharmacy at this point.🙂
Do you do any psychotherapy or group sessions?

I honestly have zero desire to go out anymore. I spend most of my time just hanging at home, maybe hitting up a coffee shop once or twice a week to catch up with a friend... I can't quite put my finger on why, but I just don't feel like being social. Whether it's because of my health issues or something else, who knows? 🙂 I'm not on any crazy experimental therapies or anything, just regular checkups at the Mayo Clinic. Believe me, I learned my lesson the hard way. Last time I ended up stuck in a hospital bed against my will, and let's just say the treatment there wasn't exactly a five-star experience—so now I make sure to take my meds religiously so I never have to deal with that again.

Larry Lewis said:I'm not doing bad, though I definitely get hit with a few rough days in a row sometimes—though for me, it's more depressive symptoms than anything else. I don't really experience those specific schizo episodes; it’s more like this heavy sadness or just being completely out of sorts. For me, everything started back when I was in the military—I was only 21 then, and I'm 33 now—but 2008 was pure hell. Absolute living hell. I ended up checking myself into a psychiatric ward in Portland all on my own. Once I got through that hospitalization, things finally started looking up. My close friends who have known me forever know my diagnosis, but I don't bother telling anyone else.
Does anyone have a history of schizoaffective disorder in their family? My aunt had it, and honestly, her life was just incredibly bleak because of the illness.
And you know, I've known these guys for ages, but ever since I got sick, I haven't really felt like part of the crew anymore. It used to eat at me, but now? I don't even care enough to try. I see them once a week when we go hacking around, and that's about it.
When I first got back from my service and told the group I was running with at the time, man, the ridicule I got... I couldn't believe it. I was younger then, though, so it cut much deeper.
Anyway, I'm more stable now, but it took me well over four years of grinding to actually get to this point.

So you're 33? I honestly thought you were younger, maybe around my age.🙂
I am so sorry to hear how your friends reacted after you got home from the military. It sounds like I definitely had it easier in that department.
I mostly don't talk about my illness either, but there isn't really a need to anymore. We're pretty normal, right?? 😉

It’s not even about being too sick to go out—let’s be honest—it’s more that you aren't allowed to touch a drink, and watching everyone else toast while you sit there with a soda is just plain humiliating, right? Just admit it.🙂I only head down to the Mayo Clinic for checkups when things get really intense, though I haven't been in a while.🙂I've been hitting up those group therapy sessions for a bit now, but frankly, they're starting to lose their luster—I'm actually debating whether it's still worth my time or if I should just call it quits.

Are you sleeping the day away because of the meds? I went through a rough patch with that myself once.

Harold Anderson3 said:So you're 33? I honestly thought you were younger, maybe around my age.🙂
I am so sorry to hear how your friends reacted after you got home from the military. It sounds like I definitely had it easier in that department.
I mostly don't talk about my illness either, but there isn't really a need to anymore. We're pretty normal, right?? 😉

I’d pin you at 25, and frankly, I haven't aged a day myself.🙂

Sane? Please. I'm the most "normal" guy you'll ever meet—even if my medical records say otherwise.🙂
Just kidding.

We've got it lucky, though... seeing how this poor girl has to head off to a group home or something... it's just devastating, truly.

Harold Anderson3 said:So you're 33? I honestly thought you were younger, maybe around my age.🙂
I am so sorry to hear how your friends reacted after you got home from the military. It sounds like I definitely had it easier in that department.
I mostly don't talk about my illness either, but there isn't really a need to anymore. We're pretty normal, right?? 😉

If I'm counting you at 25, then I guess I stopped aging altogether.🙂

"Normal"? Please. I'm practically the gold standard of normalcy—except for being coded as F20.0 on my medical records.🙂
Just kidding... mostly.🙂

Honestly, I'm glad this thread finally caught some steam. We might be a small group here, but we're still standing.🙂

Not really. It’s not even about alcohol—I haven't touched the stuff since I started my meds. It’s more that life just happened and I lost most of my social circle, so I don't really have a crew to go out with anymore. Plus, like I mentioned, I just don't have the drive to do anything anyway, so there's zero point in hitting the town. And for what it's worth, I don't have any sleep issues 🙂 I’ve always been a skeptic when it comes to group therapy. To me, this whole thing feels mostly biological, so I don't see the point in sitting in a circle talking about it... Btw, Larry Lewis, I sent you a DM with the details on where I'm getting treatment and what my prescription looks like. And yeah, obviously we're fine. Honestly, I think there are way more unstable people running around without a diagnosis than there are people like us with one

Henry Garcia9 said:Not really. It’s not even about alcohol—I haven't touched the stuff since I started my meds. It’s more that life just happened and I lost most of my social circle, so I don't really have a crew to go out with anymore. Plus, like I mentioned, I just don't have the drive to do anything anyway, so there's zero point in hitting the town. And for what it's worth, I don't have any sleep issues 🙂 I’ve always been a skeptic when it comes to group therapy. To me, this whole thing feels mostly biological, so I don't see the point in sitting in a circle talking about it... Btw, Larry Lewis, I sent you a DM with the details on where I'm getting treatment and what my prescription looks like. And yeah, obviously we're fine. Honestly, I think there are way more unstable people running around without a diagnosis than there are people like us with one

Of course a diagnosis doesn't define you. Someone with a label—whatever it may be—can easily be sharper and more capable than someone without one. Our illness is just a medical issue, much like diabetes, as you pointed out earlier; it doesn't dictate who we are as human beings. But people just don't seem to grasp that—it's as if they think having a diagnosis means you're going to go out and stab them or something equally absurd.

I went through a situation once where I saw firsthand that these medications truly work—I won't get into the gritty details, but it was all the proof I needed to stay on them.
I haven't spent much time buried in medical journals or chasing fringe cures, but by observing my own reactions, I've realized that things can be managed—or perhaps even improved significantly. Still, if I'm being honest, I don't quite have enough faith in my own willpower to ever stop my treatment or try cutting back to the bare minimum.

Larry Lewis said:I’d pin you at 25, and frankly, I haven't aged a day myself.🙂

Sane? Please. I'm the most "normal" guy you'll ever meet—even if my medical records say otherwise.🙂
Just kidding.

We've got it lucky, though... seeing how this poor girl has to head off to a group home or something... it's just devastating, truly.

Hehe, so you actually are older than me after all.🤣
Yeah, I can't really complain... I'm still working without any issues, and everyone at the office is perfectly happy with my performance, so there isn't even a reason to bring up my health.
The only awkward part was when everyone else was grabbing drinks and I had to pass because of my medication, which felt a little strange... but hey, I just tell myself: as long as you're on the clock, you stay sober.🤷

Mind if I ask how this actually shows up for you guys? Personally, I’ve never quite wrapped my head around what schizophrenia really looks like in practice.

I used to be a total skeptic when it came to group therapy. I mean, at the end of the day, we’re dealing with a chemical imbalance, right? It's biology. I'm definitely not one of those people who decides to quit their meds on a whim—that's a fast track to disaster. For me, the medication is the only thing actually doing the heavy lifting. Like I told you before, I learned that lesson the hard way. My issues usually manifest as delusions—basically, my brain starts spinning stories that have zero basis in reality...

Henry Garcia9 said:I used to be a total skeptic when it came to group therapy. I mean, at the end of the day, we’re dealing with a chemical imbalance, right? It's biology. I'm definitely not one of those people who decides to quit their meds on a whim—that's a fast track to disaster. For me, the medication is the only thing actually doing the heavy lifting. Like I told you before, I learned that lesson the hard way. My issues usually manifest as delusions—basically, my brain starts spinning stories that have zero basis in reality...

My bad—I've got Metallica blasting in my ears while I'm scrolling through this, so I definitely misread that.

Harold Anderson3 said:Hehe, so you actually are older than me after all.🤣
Yeah, I can't really complain... I'm still working without any issues, and everyone at the office is perfectly happy with my performance, so there isn't even a reason to bring up my health.
The only awkward part was when everyone else was grabbing drinks and I had to pass because of my medication, which felt a little strange... but hey, I just tell myself: as long as you're on the clock, you stay sober.🤷

The main thing is staying active and being out in the world; if people want to drink, let them drink.

As for me, I'm currently out of work, and frankly, that's what's really killing me.

Henry Garcia9 said:I used to be a total skeptic when it came to group therapy. I mean, at the end of the day, we’re dealing with a chemical imbalance, right? It's biology. I'm definitely not one of those people who decides to quit their meds on a whim—that's a fast track to disaster. For me, the medication is the only thing actually doing the heavy lifting. Like I told you before, I learned that lesson the hard way. My issues usually manifest as delusions—basically, my brain starts spinning stories that have zero basis in reality...

Yeah, you're right that the illness is essentially an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, but I've found that psychotherapy can be a huge help alongside medication. For me personally, therapy really helps smooth out those depressive dips and mood swings.

Harold Anderson3 said:Yeah, you're right that the illness is essentially an imbalance of chemicals in the brain, but I've found that psychotherapy can be a huge help alongside medication. For me personally, therapy really helps smooth out those depressive dips and mood swings.

The thing is, therapy is just way too expensive for my budget right now, though I’m a firm believer that sitting down with a qualified professional really does make a difference.
I don't exactly have anyone to vent to besides myself—and let's face it, I am hardly a trained expert in my own psyche.🙂

Larry Lewis said:The thing is, therapy is just way too expensive for my budget right now, though I’m a firm believer that sitting down with a qualified professional really does make a difference.
I don't exactly have anyone to vent to besides myself—and let's face it, I am hardly a trained expert in my own psyche.🙂

Well, I don't pay for it either; instead, I just head over to Mayo Clinic once every two weeks.
My soul feels like it’s fighting cancer right now, but I've got faith that it'll heal in time. 🙂

Harold Anderson3 said:Well, I don't pay for it either; instead, I just head over to Mayo Clinic once every two weeks.
My soul feels like it’s fighting cancer right now, but I've got faith that it'll heal in time. 🙂

I actually gave some serious thought to paying for it myself, but... no, I think I'll pass.

It isn't our souls that have cancer, but our brains—though, if you ask me, the soul remains pure, capable of healing us or mending us however it sees fit.

Anyway, goodnight Harold Anderson3, hang in there!

Greetings. Having researched this condition extensively due to a grandmother's diagnosis, I have come to wonder: do these individuals truly believe their hallucinations and delusions are reality? Do they genuinely think they are someone else? Specifically, if a psychiatrist were to develop schizophrenia, would they be convinced by these hallucinations, or would their clinical knowledge allow them to recognize these delusions for what they are?

For instance, could a doctor believe they are being followed by surveillance cameras while simultaneously understanding the symptoms of schizophrenia and realizing they are actually ill? Is such self-awareness possible, or is it fundamentally impossible according to the nature of the disease, requiring an outside observer to intervene? ☕