Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Rebecca James3 said:That's it... if you guys have questions, just ask. 😉

For instance, did kids give you a hard time growing up? You know, those classic playground jabs like, "Your mom is crazy." That’s the kind of thing I’m curious about.
How did you end up compensating for the things your mother couldn't provide—did she actually give you enough attention? And how would you describe your relationship today?
Was the pregnancy an "oops" moment, or was it a planned event closely monitored by doctors?
Did your mother's illness play a role in shaping who you are as a person?
I can't think of anything else right now. 🤔

Rebecca James3, thanks so much for such a detailed post 🙂
One day maybe I'll decide to have kids, but honestly, I’m pretty terrified that I might end up being a burden to them.
I've tried to put myself in their shoes, but it's just hard... I can't quite get there.

As for what I see or hear?
Well, what do I hear? I've been hearing voices since I was thirteen, and no one can ever convince me that what's happening isn't real. No matter how much people try to label me as crazy, I just can't see it that way. To me, it's completely real; I talk to them—though, to be fair, we don't argue much more than we chat. I hear them as clearly as if they were sitting right next to me. Crazy or not, I hear them.

Noah Garcia4 said:For instance, did kids give you a hard time growing up? You know, those classic playground jabs like, "Your mom is crazy." That’s the kind of thing I’m curious about.
How did you end up compensating for the things your mother couldn't provide—did she actually give you enough attention? And how would you describe your relationship today?
Was the pregnancy an "oops" moment, or was it a planned event closely monitored by doctors?
Did your mother's illness play a role in shaping who you are as a person?
I can't think of anything else right now. 🤔

Kasno I found out about her illness (back in elementary school)—I only told my absolute best friend when I was 17. No one else knew because everyone warned me not to say a word. Honestly, I felt embarrassed sometimes because people would give my mom weird looks if she said or did something—they'd realize something wasn't right. So I spent a lot of time wondering: "Why isn't my mom like other moms?" Later on, once I was a bit older, I started asking: "How can I help her?"

She gave me the best she could, within her means. We played all the time when I was little; she was a cheerful person. But during middle school—around 7th or 8th grade—things took a sharp turn for the worse. She went totally off the rails—breaking stuff, making threats, hospitalizations—and it wrecked our relationship. She was rude and used to mess with me mentally, so I just pulled away. I didn't love her much back then; we fought constantly. She stopped taking care of herself, and she stopped taking care of me too (I lived with my grandma). Today, we're just neutral. If I need money, she sends it, though sometimes she'll make up some excuse just to blow cash on stupid stuff—she's a total shopaholic. I don't really trust her. I cooled things off between us, even though I still feel that childhood bond and a sense of pity for her sometimes. We're okay now, more or less.

It was an "accident," haha. They weren't married, so they just rushed into marriage. The pregnancy was monitored, but because of the meds, it ended in a C-section—plus things were pretty unstable.

I was terrified of her and society in general. I was naive and believed everyone. I had no sense of self; I ran away from relationships and hated people. I was a nervous wreck and saw a psychologist. I went through a period of depression. But when you have someone who actually makes it worth changing, you'll do whatever it takes.

Eric Mitchell55 said:Rebecca James3, thanks so much for such a detailed post 🙂
One day maybe I'll decide to have kids, but honestly, I’m pretty terrified that I might end up being a burden to them.
I've tried to put myself in their shoes, but it's just hard... I can't quite get there.

As for what I see or hear?
Well, what do I hear? I've been hearing voices since I was thirteen, and no one can ever convince me that what's happening isn't real. No matter how much people try to label me as crazy, I just can't see it that way. To me, it's completely real; I talk to them—though, to be fair, we don't argue much more than we chat. I hear them as clearly as if they were sitting right next to me. Crazy or not, I hear them.

My mother hears voices too. I remember phases where she’d sit on her bed from midnight until 4 AM, muttering, "You won't get me, I'm fighting you."

My take: Even psychologists and specialists don't actually know enough about these "illnesses." I truly believe we don't even know who is actually "crazy" and who isn't. Maybe people who hear voices actually have some kind of internal dial for communicating with this invisible world. Every famous researcher and scientist has struggled with something similar—we call them crazy, yet we're simultaneously grateful to them for their massive discoveries. Haha, ironic. And I'm not talking about total insanity here. I believe you when you say you hear them, and I think nobody knows where they come from. Maybe it's the subconscious, or an incredible capacity for imagination—honestly, I doubt we'll ever know the real truth.

Eric Mitchell55 said:Rebecca James3, thanks so much for such a detailed post 🙂
One day maybe I'll decide to have kids, but honestly, I’m pretty terrified that I might end up being a burden to them.
I've tried to put myself in their shoes, but it's just hard... I can't quite get there.

As for what I see or hear?
Well, what do I hear? I've been hearing voices since I was thirteen, and no one can ever convince me that what's happening isn't real. No matter how much people try to label me as crazy, I just can't see it that way. To me, it's completely real; I talk to them—though, to be fair, we don't argue much more than we chat. I hear them as clearly as if they were sitting right next to me. Crazy or not, I hear them.

They’re almost certainly surfacing from the subconscious. Or, if you’re feeling particularly optimistic, maybe you’re just prime material for an exorcist. 😬

Rebecca James3 said:Kasno I found out about her illness (back in elementary school)—I only told my absolute best friend when I was 17. No one else knew because everyone warned me not to say a word. Honestly, I felt embarrassed sometimes because people would give my mom weird looks if she said or did something—they'd realize something wasn't right. So I spent a lot of time wondering: "Why isn't my mom like other moms?" Later on, once I was a bit older, I started asking: "How can I help her?"

She gave me the best she could, within her means. We played all the time when I was little; she was a cheerful person. But during middle school—around 7th or 8th grade—things took a sharp turn for the worse. She went totally off the rails—breaking stuff, making threats, hospitalizations—and it wrecked our relationship. She was rude and used to mess with me mentally, so I just pulled away. I didn't love her much back then; we fought constantly. She stopped taking care of herself, and she stopped taking care of me too (I lived with my grandma). Today, we're just neutral. If I need money, she sends it, though sometimes she'll make up some excuse just to blow cash on stupid stuff—she's a total shopaholic. I don't really trust her. I cooled things off between us, even though I still feel that childhood bond and a sense of pity for her sometimes. We're okay now, more or less.

It was an "accident," haha. They weren't married, so they just rushed into marriage. The pregnancy was monitored, but because of the meds, it ended in a C-section—plus things were pretty unstable.

I was terrified of her and society in general. I was naive and believed everyone. I had no sense of self; I ran away from relationships and hated people. I was a nervous wreck and saw a psychologist. I went through a period of depression. But when you have someone who actually makes it worth changing, you'll do whatever it takes.

I honestly can't bring myself to think about keeping my diagnosis a secret from anyone anymore.

Rebecca James3 said:Kasno I found out about her illness (back in elementary school)—I only told my absolute best friend when I was 17. No one else knew because everyone warned me not to say a word. Honestly, I felt embarrassed sometimes because people would give my mom weird looks if she said or did something—they'd realize something wasn't right. So I spent a lot of time wondering: "Why isn't my mom like other moms?" Later on, once I was a bit older, I started asking: "How can I help her?"

She gave me the best she could, within her means. We played all the time when I was little; she was a cheerful person. But during middle school—around 7th or 8th grade—things took a sharp turn for the worse. She went totally off the rails—breaking stuff, making threats, hospitalizations—and it wrecked our relationship. She was rude and used to mess with me mentally, so I just pulled away. I didn't love her much back then; we fought constantly. She stopped taking care of herself, and she stopped taking care of me too (I lived with my grandma). Today, we're just neutral. If I need money, she sends it, though sometimes she'll make up some excuse just to blow cash on stupid stuff—she's a total shopaholic. I don't really trust her. I cooled things off between us, even though I still feel that childhood bond and a sense of pity for her sometimes. We're okay now, more or less.

It was an "accident," haha. They weren't married, so they just rushed into marriage. The pregnancy was monitored, but because of the meds, it ended in a C-section—plus things were pretty unstable.

I was terrified of her and society in general. I was naive and believed everyone. I had no sense of self; I ran away from relationships and hated people. I was a nervous wreck and saw a psychologist. I went through a period of depression. But when you have someone who actually makes it worth changing, you'll do whatever it takes.

Given everything that’s been said—and quite a few things that haven't even been brought up yet—I don't see myself ever having kids.

Given everything I’ve said—and everything I haven't even mentioned yet—I have zero intention of having kids.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.

Rebecca James3 said:Given everything I’ve said—and everything I haven't even mentioned yet—I have zero intention of having kids.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.
She wouldn't be able to pull that off.

Noah Garcia4 said:Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.
She wouldn't be able to pull that off.
She wouldn't be able to pull that off.
What, you scared of taking some responsibility?

Rebecca James3 said:Given everything I’ve said—and everything I haven't even mentioned yet—I have zero intention of having kids.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.
I also live with schizophrenia, and honestly, I doubt I’ll ever have children of my own. My girlfriend is actually dealing with acute psychosis right now, and she isn't interested in having kids either. The real difference between us is that while I might actually want them, I can reasonably conclude that bringing someone into this world would be incredibly irresponsible, since I wouldn't be able to provide a stable childhood. She just doesn't have the desire for it at all. It makes me wonder why my mom decided to have a child when she was also struggling with schizophrenia. But hey, that was her choice, and I respect it. I didn't get to choose to be born; she made that decision, and there's really no point in arguing over whether it was a mistake now...

Harold Anderson3 said:Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.

Why? Because look, every parent just gives their kids whatever they can manage. Nobody's perfect, and obviously, not everyone is rolling in cash like a CEO at Goldman Sachs. You just give them what you've got, to the best of your ability. That's just how it works.
I also live with schizophrenia, and honestly, I doubt I’ll ever have children of my own. My girlfriend is actually dealing with acute psychosis right now, and she isn't interested in having kids either. The real difference between us is that while I might actually want them, I can reasonably conclude that bringing someone into this world would be incredibly irresponsible, since I wouldn't be able to provide a stable childhood. She just doesn't have the desire for it at all. It makes me wonder why my mom decided to have a child when she was also struggling with schizophrenia. But hey, that was her choice, and I respect it. I didn't get to choose to be born; she made that decision, and there's really no point in arguing over whether it was a mistake now...
I also live with schizophrenia, and honestly, I doubt I’ll ever have children of my own. My girlfriend is actually dealing with acute psychosis right now, and she isn't interested in having kids either. The real difference between us is that while I might actually want them, I can reasonably conclude that bringing someone into this world would be incredibly irresponsible, since I wouldn't be able to provide a stable childhood. She just doesn't have the desire for it at all. It makes me wonder why my mom decided to have a child when she was also struggling with schizophrenia. But hey, that was her choice, and I respect it. I didn't get to choose to be born; she made that decision, and there's really no point in arguing over whether it was a mistake now...
I hear you.

Rebecca James3 said:She wouldn't be able to pull that off.

What, you scared of taking some responsibility?
Absolutely. If I were to bring a child into this world, I would be inherently responsible for their entire existence, and frankly, I don't think I could provide everything they deserve. Since I actually have the agency to decide whether or not to become a parent, I’m choosing not to.

Noah Garcia4 said:Absolutely. If I were to bring a child into this world, I would be inherently responsible for their entire existence, and frankly, I don't think I could provide everything they deserve. Since I actually have the agency to decide whether or not to become a parent, I’m choosing not to.

Fair enough. 🙂

Hey Rebecca James3 😉

A friend of mine just reached out from the hospital 😠 though I don't think she’s actually admitted; she’s just 😠
she’s hearing voices, seeing things, can barely string a sentence together, and the medication isn't doing a damn thing 🙂🙂
I guess I won't be complaining about anything else anymore
She can barely talk, and even though she makes it to church every Sunday, it feels like God isn't helping 🙂, much like how the meds aren't working
She's all alone, yet somehow she still manages to find something to laugh about 😠
It’s honestly just heartbreaking to watch her go through this 🙂

What a waste... honestly, they should just send them off to some retreat. My mom actually had her therapist suggest a getaway to Martha's Vineyard—for everything from mental health struggles to dealing with those damn drugstore clerks—and she came back totally fine...

What exactly is that place on Martha's Vineyard, is it some kind of residence or more like a Cenacolo-style sanctuary?

Noah Garcia4 said:What exactly is that place on Martha's Vineyard, is it some kind of residence or more like a Cenacolo-style sanctuary?

Look, it's officially a rehab facility—you know, for getting off drugs, booze, dealing with mental health issues, support groups for survivors of assault, all that stuff. It’s got everything. They have different categories, everyone stays in their own building but they share a courtyard... it's a massive campus. My mom stayed there with an alcoholic relative—they had a room, went to therapy sessions, group support, saw psychologists, did some fun activities, cooked, exercised—they really provide everything. You just need to check with a psychiatrist; they're the ones who write the referral for it.

Rebecca James3 said:Look, it's officially a rehab facility—you know, for getting off drugs, booze, dealing with mental health issues, support groups for survivors of assault, all that stuff. It’s got everything. They have different categories, everyone stays in their own building but they share a courtyard... it's a massive campus. My mom stayed there with an alcoholic relative—they had a room, went to therapy sessions, group support, saw psychologists, did some fun activities, cooked, exercised—they really provide everything. You just need to check with a psychiatrist; they're the ones who write the referral for it.

Honestly, that sounds a lot like a state hospital in Queens to me. I’ve spent time at those types of facilities in Queens, and I actually found them quite decent. They have multiple departments, a little local park nearby, walking paths, tennis courts, a chapel, occupational therapy, group sessions, fitness programs, and, most importantly, my doctor, which makes all the difference. ☕
edit: I don't see my friend actually going there; she's far too attached to her own home.

Noah Garcia4 said:Of course you realize the gravity of things once the fog finally lifts.
Once the hallucinations subside, you’re left staring at a reality that feels fundamentally altered.

From where I’m sitting, the trajectory looks like this: you lose your grip, end up in a psychiatric ward, crawl back home, and spend your days swallowing a mountain of pills until, eventually, you taper down and stabilize. Your perception settles, and the hallucinations stop.

But here’s the kicker—life is never going to feel quite the same again, regardless of how long you stay in remission.

At that point, you just have to accept that most people are going to carry certain prejudices against those they label as "crazy." Fair enough.

Then there's the medication cycle: you have to take an antipsychotic that often triggers depression, which then necessitates an antidepressant... It's a total circus. 🙂☕

This might be the most accurate description of what it feels like for those of us who are slightly out of step with reality.

Noah Garcia4 said:Honestly, that sounds a lot like a state hospital in Queens to me. I’ve spent time at those types of facilities in Queens, and I actually found them quite decent. They have multiple departments, a little local park nearby, walking paths, tennis courts, a chapel, occupational therapy, group sessions, fitness programs, and, most importantly, my doctor, which makes all the difference. ☕
edit: I don't see my friend actually going there; she's far too attached to her own home.

I had no idea they had one in NYC, too. Great. Maybe she could give it a shot there?

Noah Garcia4 said:Honestly, that sounds a lot like a state hospital in Queens to me. I’ve spent time at those types of facilities in Queens, and I actually found them quite decent. They have multiple departments, a little local park nearby, walking paths, tennis courts, a chapel, occupational therapy, group sessions, fitness programs, and, most importantly, my doctor, which makes all the difference. ☕
edit: I don't see my friend actually going there; she's far too attached to her own home.

I’ve never been to Queens myself, but everyone tells me that the facilities over in Brooklyn offer much better treatment options than what you get at Jack’s place. A park is just some minor detail—what really matters is how the staff actually treats the patients.