Schizophrenia - General Discussion

bluedrifter45 said:Thanks for the response. I think I can agree with them regarding those adjustment disorders and various personality combinations... you know, the F60 stuff. Personally, I feel like the definition of psychosis could be interpreted differently, and that occasional, deliberate attention-seeking through inappropriate behavior—which is always under control, mind you—wouldn't necessarily be what I'd call psychosis, but fine. What really rubbed me the wrong way in the report was how they noted that while I deny sensory distortions, like hallucinations, they "cannot be ruled out with certainty." My blunt insistence that I have never heard or seen anything that isn't actually there clearly didn't satisfy them. God, this pseudoscience is exhausting...

Look, I definitely snapped back then, but I don't think I had hallucinations. I just broke—it was the meds, the illness, the stress, all of it hitting at once. I was down to like 140 pounds even though I'm basically 6'7". In my opinion, maybe it was delirium or a delusion, but not hallucinations—not even this, maybe. I just lost it. One time I got into a massive shouting match with the hospital staff, and another time I just snapped and wandered out onto the street. It was just too much. Probably the Ativan and the phenergan keeping me level right now so I'm not exploding from everything piling up on me, plus I'm pretty drowsy. I've just accepted my fate and realized nobody's really looking out for me anyway.

Nicole Barrett76 said:Furthermore, even if hallucinations occur, albeit rarely, should a patient not be placed under twenty-four-hour observation for a full month just to catch a single episode? Assessing a patient's state of consciousness, particularly during an initial psychiatric evaluation, is such a delicate, difficult, and sensitive endeavor, is it not?

I recall back in 2002 when a psychiatrist was attempting to determine if I suffered from any disturbances in consciousness; she feigned confusion while typing on her computer and actually asked me to correct her text! (She had skipped several lines in the following paragraph). I corrected it and returned to my seat. She then informed me that I showed no psychotic symptoms or disturbances in consciousness and that I was perfectly oriented.

But here is the catch: I am quite visually impaired, and I made sure to inform her of that immediately. It is also true that I find it somewhat more challenging to orient myself when entering an unfamiliar indoor space for the first time (though this isn't the case with outdoor environments). Had I not emphasized so clearly that my vision is poor and that I was due to my poor eyesight disoriented... or rather, temporarily incapacitated in my ability to use my sight for a few seconds, who knows what she might have written, or perhaps even suggested that I be held in the hospital?

At the time, I possessed a completely sound mind; I was merely facing immense stress at work and wished to consult a psychiatrist to prescribe some sedatives or sleep aids, since psychologists lack the authority to do so. And then, as part of my own personal growth, to pursue therapy with a psychologist.

Have you ever heard that individuals with epilepsy can experience a type of "object consciousness"? Is it not fascinating that they can function in such a narrowed state of awareness for days or even months before anyone notices something is wrong?

Of course, I only realized much later that my psychiatrist hadn't actually been confused while typing. Once I figured that out, I began digging through library books—this was long before the era of the Internet—to understand what kind of test that was, and how it was possible that she called me over to fix text when all she really needed to do was position the cursor in the blank lines and hit the delete key enough times to create spacing between paragraphs.

Ultimately... those who search, shall find. That is to say, those who seek answers will eventually uncover them. And especially now, in an age where information flows freely across the Internet, won't they find them even faster? It was while I was scouring medical encyclopedias in a library that I discovered that fact about epilepsy.

Man, I've got all sorts of issues from physical illnesses. I see blood cells, floaters, and stuff after psychiatry, etc., but when I told them, they didn't believe me. I tell them I'm a phenomenon. Nobody believes me. I'm a walking miracle, and who knows exactly what physical ailments I have, and let's be real, I've never been well, not before and especially not now. My family and I are in a catastrophic financial situation too. Total bastards. They couldn't care less. God, they practically wanted to tie me up and beat me, because being tied up usually ends in a beating. There was this time I woke up in my sleep, drank too much water, choked on it, and started suffocating. I stumbled out of the room trying to get air with this loud, I don't even know how to describe it, sound. It wasn't the first time I've had something like that. Even as a kid, I used to choke on cigarette smoke and things like that. And I still deal with it today because I have problems with swallowing, breathing, etc., especially now with something else going on. Seriously, they almost tied me up and beat me instead of helping. Luckily, I managed to wiggle out of that story somehow.

Carol Barrett2 said:Man, I've got all sorts of issues from physical illnesses. I see blood cells, floaters, and stuff after psychiatry, etc., but when I told them, they didn't believe me. I tell them I'm a phenomenon. Nobody believes me. I'm a walking miracle, and who knows exactly what physical ailments I have, and let's be real, I've never been well, not before and especially not now. My family and I are in a catastrophic financial situation too. Total bastards. They couldn't care less. God, they practically wanted to tie me up and beat me, because being tied up usually ends in a beating. There was this time I woke up in my sleep, drank too much water, choked on it, and started suffocating. I stumbled out of the room trying to get air with this loud, I don't even know how to describe it, sound. It wasn't the first time I've had something like that. Even as a kid, I used to choke on cigarette smoke and things like that. And I still deal with it today because I have problems with swallowing, breathing, etc., especially now with something else going on. Seriously, they almost tied me up and beat me instead of helping. Luckily, I managed to wiggle out of that story somehow.

Floaters are actually a totally normal thing. Everyone sees them at some point.

So, if someone’s actually a psychopath, what do you guys think their move is once they get out of the psych ward? Honestly, the more I look at it, the more I feel like I’m starting to get why psychopaths do what they do. It’s like—damn—it feels like that's just the only way to deal with most people. Just keep things strictly business and stay on top of everything.

Jeffrey Ramos4 said:Floaters are actually a totally normal thing. Everyone sees them at some point.

Well, now I’ve got way too many of them. Honestly, I can even see blood cells floating around. The trouble started when I actually brought it up to my family—specifically when I was venting about everything from hormone issues to other stuff. I just snapped, trying to get them to understand me. A "normal" person wouldn't have reacted like that, but I was just... done. Completely broken by it all. At one point, I even lunged out in front of a car—Lord help me—just because I was so overwhelmed. Everything felt like too much. It’s still bad, but I don't snap quite as hard anymore. I just double up on my Metoten and Apaurin when things get heavy and I feel like I'm hitting a breaking point.

PS. My vision is getting worse, too. These floaters are spreading everywhere in my field of vision, and they're huge—looking like giant amoebas. When I tried telling my family, they didn't really believe me. Even now, they don't seem to think it's that big of a deal, mostly because they're so wrapped up in their own drama that they just brush my problems aside.

If I snap—God forbid—and end up taking my own life, or if I somehow end up killing someone else, things are going to get absolutely insane. People will say "they killed because they were crazy." Well, newsflash: I’ve always been a little unstable, and honestly, most people out there aren't exactly sane either. But man, the system just keeps me drugged up for years on end. They won't even let me get any kind of income because they know that when you're constantly looped out on meds, you can't hold down a job. You can't operate machinery, you can't really handle basic tech... nothing. Who would even hire someone in my state? I wouldn't even qualify for health insurance. No one gives a damn. It’s ridiculous—they seem to have more compassion for actual houses than for people. At least there are programs for housing assistance, but for someone like me? Nothing. Zero.

If things go south, I’d much rather take myself out than God forbid hurt anyone else.

Harold Anderson3 said:Would you mind sharing which medications you're currently on?
I've always felt it’s a bit nonsensical to ask someone, "Are you hearing or seeing things that aren't there?" Because if they actually are experiencing hallucinations, then to them, those sensations are completely real, making it impossible to give a simple "no" answer. You can really only gauge the situation by observing how a person interacts with the world around them.

Nothing really, just some self-medicated Xanax and Norvasc to help me sleep for the last few years, though I don't actually see any psychiatrists; I was on a tiny dose of Quetiapine for a very short stint once, but I ended up hospitalized recently over something quite trivial—basically, a friend snitched on me for sending what she called "threatening" messages to my professor, who happens to be a psychiatrist. They tried giving me Zyprexa (olanzapine), but I refused because it makes me gain weight incredibly fast and sends my appetite through the roof, so they switched me to aripiprazole, which I've been on for a few days now, and I suspect it might be causing this insomnia. It seems obvious that vivid hallucinations are a core feature of schizophrenia, and I imagine it’s probably vital to ask things like, "Do the voices give you commands, and do you find yourself following them?" just so one can anticipate potential consequences.
EDIT: Oh, I almost forgot—one rather pretentious resident at the hospital practically shoved Haldol down my throat on my first day, simply because I was asking, in what I felt was a perfectly normal tone (granted, I was anxious since I was being tossed around like a dog), to have someone contact my family so my cat back home wouldn't go hungry. And, well, I did get sick from their awful food at the facility. Honestly, Haldol is lethal, at least for those of us who have actually dealt with it. Fortunately, most of my regular doctors and colleagues strongly disagree with that approach and criticize it quite fiercely.

I had the exact same experience with Risperidone. It didn't quite drive me completely insane, but man, the intrusive thoughts were dark—just nasty, in my opinion. Honestly, screw all that. A lot of these pills are just bad news; even the fine print on the side effects lists a massive amount of issues.

Just to be clear about what I was saying earlier—I’m not suggesting some average Joe is going to go out and kill someone. I’m talking about the elites, the people in power. People in this country are reaching a breaking point because they're so fed up with a government that does nothing but steal and grab whatever they can get their hands on. If it weren't for the fact that we haven't totally snapped yet, I’d probably feel the same way. But instead, they just pit us against each other, keeping us divided so that the fear of another war keeps everyone from actually revolting. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if they pushed us into a new conflict just to distract everyone from everything else going on.

I’ve been away for a few days... and reading through Harold Anderson3's recent breakdowns makes me feel terrible for not being here to offer support. I really hope he’s hanging in there and that this phase starts to pass soon. Harold, your mood swings seem incredibly intense... mine aren't quite like that. When depression hits me, I can't get out of bed for weeks or even months at a time. I just sleep. I eat and drink the bare minimum just to survive, and even that feels like a chore. I don't leave the house and I don't talk; I look like a zombie. My family is used to it by now—they're just waiting for the moment I finally wake up and start "functioning" again.

It seems like a lot of people deal with vision issues, so maybe that's something we have in common... my myopia is severe, I have primary glaucoma, and my macular degeneration is progressive, haha... just wonderful, right? I'll be happy if I don't go blind... but anyway, that's not important right now. Regardless, welcome to the club.

Last summer, I fainted and I have no idea why—I haven't looked into it yet. Then yesterday, it happened again: my body went numb, I lost consciousness, broke out in a cold sweat, sounds faded out, my head felt foggy, and then everything went black. I don't know what's happening to me. Maybe I should get some tests done; an MRI would probably be great, but my doctor hates me, and if I actually show up, she'll probably just brush me off. I found out today that my grandfather has epilepsy... is that hereditary?

Oh, and I also see those floaters in my field of vision, and some days my sight is so bad that I bump into everything. I actually ended up with a bruise on my face because I walked straight into a door, haha... it's awful... but I'm trying.
Everyone looks at me as this pretty, smart girl since I'm currently working on my second degree, but I'm terrified that I won't finish.

I’ve been away for a few days... and reading through Harold Anderson3's recent breakdowns makes me feel terrible that I wasn't here to offer support. I really hope he’s hanging in there and that this phase starts to pass soon. Harold Anderson3, your mood swings seem incredibly intense... mine aren't quite like that. When depression hits me, I can stay stuck in bed for weeks or even months; I just sleep, eating and drinking the bare minimum just to survive, which is such a struggle. I don't leave the house or talk to anyone—I look like a zombie. My family is pretty used to it by now; they’re just waiting for the moment I finally get up and start "functioning" again.

It seems like a lot of people deal with vision issues, so maybe we have that in common... my myopia is high, I have primary glaucoma, and my macular degeneration is progressing, haha... just wonderful, right? I'll be happy if I don't go blind... but anyway, that's not the point right now. Regardless, welcome to the club.

Last summer I fainted, though I never looked into why... and then yesterday, my body and consciousness just gave out again. Cold sweat, sounds muffled, brain fog, and then total blackout. I have no idea what's happening to me. Maybe I should get an MRI, which would probably be ideal, but my doctor can't stand me, and if I actually go to see her, she'll just brush me off. I found out today that my grandfather has epilepsy... is that hereditary?

Oh, and I also see those floaters in my field of vision, and some days my sight is so bad that I bump into everything. I actually ended up with a bruise on my face because I walked straight into a door, haha... it's awful... but I'm trying.
Everyone looks at me as this beautiful, smart girl since I'm currently working on my second degree, but I'm terrified that I won't finish.

Why shouldn't you overdo it with ginger tea? It’s much like taking too many aspirin; even natural remedies have their limits if you push them too far.

You can grate ginger into lemonade, but as Harold Anderson3 pointed out, you shouldn't overdo it because the flavor is intense. Is it actually harmful to consume large quantities?

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I’ve been away for a few days... and reading through Harold Anderson3's recent breakdowns makes me feel terrible that I wasn't here to offer support. I really hope he’s hanging in there and that this phase starts to pass soon. Harold Anderson3, your mood swings seem incredibly intense... mine aren't quite like that. When depression hits me, I can stay stuck in bed for weeks or even months; I just sleep, eating and drinking the bare minimum just to survive, which is such a struggle. I don't leave the house or talk to anyone—I look like a zombie. My family is pretty used to it by now; they’re just waiting for the moment I finally get up and start "functioning" again.

It seems like a lot of people deal with vision issues, so maybe we have that in common... my myopia is high, I have primary glaucoma, and my macular degeneration is progressing, haha... just wonderful, right? I'll be happy if I don't go blind... but anyway, that's not the point right now. Regardless, welcome to the club.

Last summer I fainted, though I never looked into why... and then yesterday, my body and consciousness just gave out again. Cold sweat, sounds muffled, brain fog, and then total blackout. I have no idea what's happening to me. Maybe I should get an MRI, which would probably be ideal, but my doctor can't stand me, and if I actually go to see her, she'll just brush me off. I found out today that my grandfather has epilepsy... is that hereditary?

Oh, and I also see those floaters in my field of vision, and some days my sight is so bad that I bump into everything. I actually ended up with a bruise on my face because I walked straight into a door, haha... it's awful... but I'm trying.
Everyone looks at me as this beautiful, smart girl since I'm currently working on my second degree, but I'm terrified that I won't finish.

Rebecca, thank you for thinking of me; it means a lot that you see and understand how hard this all is.
Actually, I found out today that I passed one of my exams. I'm not even sure how, though—maybe the professor was being more lenient, because I really didn't think I'd make it.
Of course you are beautiful, smart, and such a lovely, kind person; please don't let these struggles pull you away from the path you're on.
As for me, this is my third attempt at college. I'll probably finish it this time, though I walked away from the second one—third time's a charm, right? 🙂
You should definitely go for that MRI, especially if you don't have to pay out of pocket, since those scans can be so expensive.
Physically and neurologically, I am perfectly healthy, but I still have what I have. My mother indirectly developed a dozen other health issues—diabetes, high blood pressure, gallstones—all because her quality of life was so poor due to her schizophrenia.
Sometimes I wonder what the point of all this struggle is, what the purpose of it all, but then again, who doesn't have problems? I suppose some people don't, but plenty of people do. It's sad how those whose lives have been easy often lack any empathy for people struggling; there are so many of them, and people can be so selfish until life finally gives them a reality check.

George Cook said:Why shouldn't you overdo it with ginger tea? It’s much like taking too many aspirin; even natural remedies have their limits if you push them too far.

You can grate ginger into lemonade, but as Harold Anderson3 pointed out, you shouldn't overdo it because the flavor is intense. Is it actually harmful to consume large quantities?

I'm not an expert on ginger, but with stuff like aspirin, you definitely have to be careful if you're on Metoten or Moditen here in the States. I think they thin your blood or something like that. Green tea is fine, I've had it, but honestly? I'm not a fan. It's not even bitter, it just tastes... bland? I don't know how to describe it. Maybe those herbal blends you find at Whole Foods are better, but I've never really been a tea person. Things like elderberry or chamomile. I'm not even sure where to find decent elderberry supplies anymore—everything seems so overpriced lately.

I think I went a little off the deep end in a few of my recent posts. My bad. Honestly, sometimes I just lose it—it’s one of those things that happens once in a while.

I’m with you, Harold Anderson3. A lot of people lack any real empathy; some act like they don't care at all, while others just put on a performance to pretend they do. Congrats on passing your exam, by the way. A person can achieve anything as long as they want it badly enough—even when the world feels like it's falling apart... hehe.
Sometimes we don't even know the exact reason why we want something, yet the desire remains intense. For instance, I'm aiming for a PhD in physics because... well, I'm not entirely sure. I just have this nagging feeling that without it, I won't be worth anything. I've always been "the smart one," and if I'm not that, then I don't know what I am... I feel like a nobody.
But lately, the voices I hear from time to time are starting to scare me, and the nightmares have been pretty intense. I wake up drenched in sweat and tears... I can't afford private therapy, and through my insurance provider, the guy I saw just looks at me like I'm some kind of doll inhabited by a sociopath.

Look, if you're gonna be anything, at least don't just lie there like a complete psychopath.

I hate it when they act like I’m completely devoid of emotion, especially since that isn't always the case. I often experience very intense feelings, even if they don't last long before the emotional numbness kicks in...
Don't try to comfort me... except for the hope that one day all of this will just be a bad memory.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:I hate it when they act like I’m completely devoid of emotion, especially since that isn't always the case. I often experience very intense feelings, even if they don't last long before the emotional numbness kicks in...
Don't try to comfort me... except for the hope that one day all of this will just be a bad memory.

You see, people who haven't dealt with these struggles just can't wrap their heads around it... but honestly, feeling apathetic is a completely normal part of living with this illness. You shouldn't feel guilty about experiencing those states, Rebecca, because you aren't doing anything wrong. But unfortunately (assuming we are looking at a schizophrenia diagnosis here, the question is 😉), these episodes are going to happen. People dealing with schizophrenia aren't bad people by nature, but they tend to have incredibly turbulent emotional landscapes. In fact, that's one of the defining traits of the condition. For me, it's a constant cycle of depression, mania, apathy, and psychosis. The only difference is that our timelines vary; lately, depression has been the dominant note for me, which is easily the hardest and loneliest phase for anyone struggling.
P.s. I'm actually doing alright today; I even went out for a run earlier 🙂 some girls over by the waterfront asked if I could film them on my phone while they worked out, so I guess my social side made a brief appearance, haha.

I hit a depressive patch today, though I’m hoping it isn't a severe one... I'm hanging out on the forum, which usually means it's manageable; otherwise, I wouldn't even be posting. Still, I slept through most of the day and barely ate anything—just half a sandwich before retreating back to my bed in a dark room.
Harold Anderson3, do you and Diego go running? I find myself doing that occasionally when I can actually muster enough willpower to live, haha.

Look, I think Rebecca Rivera3 was just joking, though maybe her sense of humor isn't exactly everyone's cup of tea. Harold Anderson3 is actually making some solid points here, though—I'm not sure if he’s an expert or just knows his stuff, but personally, I'm totally in the dark on this one.