Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Are people living with schizophrenia considered an undesirable group?
When it comes to being a friend, a romantic partner, or a colleague at work?
I know those who would honestly say "yes" probably won't chime in here, but I can't shake the feeling that most people would rather avoid working with people like me.
So, is this hesitation toward a group sharing that diagnosis actually justified or grounded in reality?
It’s a bit of both, really. Some individuals dealing with schizophrenia truly might struggle to be partners for most people, or specifically when it comes to certain types of jobs.
Take me, for example; there's no way I could ever be a surgeon, especially since I didn't even finish a specialized degree at a major technical university like MIT.
But there are plenty of other roles where I could perform quite successfully. Of course, I don't feel the need to disclose my struggles to every single person at the office. However, when the team is good and we've built some actual rapport, I’ll open up about why I might struggle with certain tasks.
So many people take medication for anxiety, or various other things... if someone tells me they take pills for epilepsy—which might actually be a much more intense disorder—or for blood pressure or diabetes, I feel perfectly comfortable saying I take medication for this.
What bothers me a little is that specific group of people who will stigmatize a particular issue or illness, even if they don't truly understand the actual hardships that come with it.
Whether they do it out of pure fear, or if they are just so narrow-minded that they'd rather cast anyone out who doesn't look or act exactly like them.

They certainly aren't the kind of people anyone wants to share a life, a career, or anything else with. It’s viewed as a defect rather than a trait—we can say that for certain. That is why I keep it hidden; I wouldn't dream of mentioning it to anyone because I know how people would react. They would distance themselves from me, assuming I am unstable or dangerous. It all comes down to human prejudice. People lack understanding, they jump to conclusions, and there isn't much one can do to change that mindset.

Look, I’m not trying to be modest or anything—that’s just not my style—but I don't go around bragging about myself. People seem to find it easy enough to include me in their circles, though I honestly couldn't tell you why. I’ve never really been much of a social butterfly, and, well, let's just say my bank account isn't exactly screaming "let's go out tonight."

For instance, someone I used to hook up with is calling me to go out right now, but I just can't make it happen. I simply don't have the cash for outings and stuff like that.

If it weren't for the internet, I think I'd probably lose my mind completely. Though, to be fair, I can manage without it—I haven't even been online for days.

Carol Barrett2 said:Look, I’m not trying to be modest or anything—that’s just not my style—but I don't go around bragging about myself. People seem to find it easy enough to include me in their circles, though I honestly couldn't tell you why. I’ve never really been much of a social butterfly, and, well, let's just say my bank account isn't exactly screaming "let's go out tonight."

For instance, someone I used to hook up with is calling me to go out right now, but I just can't make it happen. I simply don't have the cash for outings and stuff like that.

If it weren't for the internet, I think I'd probably lose my mind completely. Though, to be fair, I can manage without it—I haven't even been online for days.

I am not exactly the most social person either, though I find that people generally accept me for who I am. Once, a woman actually went out of her way to praise me in front of everyone, telling me that she felt so at ease in my presence that she didn't even need her Xanax.

Those were simpler times when I could navigate even the largest social circles with ease. But nowadays, does anyone else feel that even a conversation with just three people feels like an overwhelming crowd?

Look, it’s not like I have some deep-seated issue with being around people. It’s just... I wouldn't exactly call myself a social butterfly. Maybe it's just my personality—or maybe it's because my bank account is looking pretty pathetic lately. Honestly? Probably a bit of both.

Back to the point.

Leponeks: my legs feel like they're giving out on me; I've got this weakness in them where I feel like I'm just going to collapse at any second.

Everyone: the side effects include constipation, which is its own special kind of nightmare.

I'm thinking about just sticking to the Aziriser—whatever that is—and Bosaurin, while cutting out the Leponeks entirely, or maybe just taking the Leponeks alongside the Bosaurin like it's supposed to be done. Basically, half doses of the Aziriser and Leponeks, but the full dose of Bosaurin.

I should probably see my psychiatrist either this week or next to figure out what to do about these meds. Should I go back to the Metotoen and Apaurin and maybe add something else for my mood? Or stick with what I have now but drop the Leponeks and just take half a pill of the Aziriser twice a day.

The current stuff isn't actually bad. It keeps my mood steady. I feel a bit like a zombie, sure, but it doesn't slow me down, and it definitely kills off those dark thoughts that creep in every now and then.

And I still haven't filed for Social Security or disability. I don't even know how to start the process, and the people who are supposed to help me keep pushing it off.

How’s everyone doing today, my little nuggets?

Jose Ward4 said:How’s everyone doing today, my little nuggets?

Doing fine. Thanks for asking. Hope you're hanging in there too.

Carol Barrett2 said:Doing fine. Thanks for asking. Hope you're hanging in there too.

I am. Thanks for the well wishes. Just woke up, actually. I've got some BBQ sliders waiting for me for lunch, so I'm feeling pretty motivated right now. Otherwise, all good.

Fiber. I mean, people talk about whole grains, but personally, I’m all about those little fiber cookies. Honestly, better than just plain cereal. Keeps things moving, you know?

The thing is, according to my doctors at the Mayo Clinic, everything comes back "normal." But I’m sitting here feeling like crap. I had some liver issues a while back—some kind of scarring—and now my vision is acting up. Floaters, weird shifts in my prescription... it’s a mess. One eye is fine, the other is plus, then it's both, then just one. And there's this swelling near my tooth from an old infection; it flares up every once in a while, though it seems to be chilling out for now, I hope. I've got plenty of other issues too, ranging from bone pain to... well, everything else.

I just don't get how the lab results can look perfect when I'm clearly struggling with all this. And no, I'm not a hypochondriac—even if my psychologist noted some "hypochondriac tendencies" in her report. I’m not making this stuff up. My skin issues alone are obvious enough to see.

I was watching this video recently that suggested the liver could be the root of it all. Everything—from skin flare-ups to sleeping way too much, or that constant, heavy fatigue where you feel like you never actually slept.

Because, believe me, I wouldn't mind being healthy for once.

Carol Barrett2 said:Fiber. I mean, people talk about whole grains, but personally, I’m all about those little fiber cookies. Honestly, better than just plain cereal. Keeps things moving, you know?

The thing is, according to my doctors at the Mayo Clinic, everything comes back "normal." But I’m sitting here feeling like crap. I had some liver issues a while back—some kind of scarring—and now my vision is acting up. Floaters, weird shifts in my prescription... it’s a mess. One eye is fine, the other is plus, then it's both, then just one. And there's this swelling near my tooth from an old infection; it flares up every once in a while, though it seems to be chilling out for now, I hope. I've got plenty of other issues too, ranging from bone pain to... well, everything else.

I just don't get how the lab results can look perfect when I'm clearly struggling with all this. And no, I'm not a hypochondriac—even if my psychologist noted some "hypochondriac tendencies" in her report. I’m not making this stuff up. My skin issues alone are obvious enough to see.

I was watching this video recently that suggested the liver could be the root of it all. Everything—from skin flare-ups to sleeping way too much, or that constant, heavy fatigue where you feel like you never actually slept.

Because, believe me, I wouldn't mind being healthy for once.

Look, a random video didn't teach you how to diagnose your own skin issues and everything else. Why don't you just go see a doctor for a full exam? That really is your best bet.

Jose Ward4 said:Look, a random video didn't teach you how to diagnose your own skin issues and everything else. Why don't you just go see a doctor for a full exam? That really is your best bet.

Well, I was there. I was actually in the hospital, and then ended up in psychiatric care after getting out. But as for my family—I can't do that. There are reasons why I can't deal with them right now.

I just wish I could get back into a hospital, maybe internal medicine, just so they could run all the tests properly. Life's a trip, man. Desires don't always come true—sometimes they don't happen easily, and sometimes, they just never happen at all.

I recently saw a top-tier psychiatrist. He told me it isn't schizophrenia—it’s core neurosis. When I asked why my doctor at the Mayo Clinic diagnosed me with residual schizophrenia, he just said my personality is too fragmented for her to see anything else. Apparently, I wasn't born this way—my parents ruined me.
He went on to say that even if it is schizophrenia, it shouldn't matter; there's a thin line between genius and madness. He claimed I have a streak of brilliance in me—that my brain just runs faster than most people's due to certain neural centers—and that my obsessions and constant associations are just part of that process.

It’s like, the whole deal with schizophrenia is having these hallucinations or visual disturbances—whatever you want to call them—but I don't have those. Never have. I’m not exactly paranoid either, except for the obvious fact that federal agencies spy on certain people. I don't think they're specifically targeting me, but hey, they're definitely watching someone.

I suspect I might have a mild form of autism—you know, Asperger's—and maybe some paranoid schizophrenia, because my mother used to claim I saw demons in people. But that’s not what I was actually saying. I told her that those "demons" were messing with my head, or that those "vampires" were draining my blood.

Now my mom is claiming she misspoke back when I was admitted to the psych ward. Says that wasn't what she meant. At the time, I just told the technician I needed a break from my own family because they wouldn't stop fighting, and I even told the chief psychiatrist that I was checking myself in because of family issues.

Carol Barrett2 said:It’s like, the whole deal with schizophrenia is having these hallucinations or visual disturbances—whatever you want to call them—but I don't have those. Never have. I’m not exactly paranoid either, except for the obvious fact that federal agencies spy on certain people. I don't think they're specifically targeting me, but hey, they're definitely watching someone.

I suspect I might have a mild form of autism—you know, Asperger's—and maybe some paranoid schizophrenia, because my mother used to claim I saw demons in people. But that’s not what I was actually saying. I told her that those "demons" were messing with my head, or that those "vampires" were draining my blood.

Now my mom is claiming she misspoke back when I was admitted to the psych ward. Says that wasn't what she meant. At the time, I just told the technician I needed a break from my own family because they wouldn't stop fighting, and I even told the chief psychiatrist that I was checking myself in because of family issues.

It sounds incredibly bizarre to me that a psychiatrist would hand out a diagnosis based solely on something a parent said rather than through an actual interview with the patient. But hey, in a place like Canada, anything can happen, so I guess this is just more of the same. 🙄

Matthew Castillo5 said:It sounds incredibly bizarre to me that a psychiatrist would hand out a diagnosis based solely on something a parent said rather than through an actual interview with the patient. But hey, in a place like Canada, anything can happen, so I guess this is just more of the same. 🙄

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around this too. Based on what Visionary is laying out here, there’s just no way that diagnosis is accurate. It makes you wonder...

It’s not just my own take on things, either—I've actually had a psychologist confirm it. I’ve basically opted out of socializing altogether, which, let’s be honest, is mostly because I’m broke as hell and can't afford to keep up with anyone. It's a total scam. I don't really go out much for that exact same reason. The only thing keeping me somewhat connected to the rest of humanity is the internet.

Nowadays, you need a bankroll just to hang out with people. It's not like it used to be. Back in the day, you could just meet up or grab a seat and talk. Now? Everything revolves around whether you can afford to grab a drink or some overpriced food.

Maybe my therapist flagged me for paranoia just because I’ve gone totally off the grid—no social life, nothing. Plus, she probably thinks I'm delusional because she dug up this ancient laptop from 2012. She found it, and honestly? I haven't even really talked to people lately. I don't even know how to act or what to say to anyone anymore. My mouth gets all dry, and I couldn't even bring myself to mention that my family is struggling with alcoholism. If I told them, they'd find out, and I hate lying... but then again, who knows how they'd react? They put up with me, though. I'm dependent on them. So, I end up staying quiet about all this, even though I've been blunt with my own folks—I just can't say it to outsiders, even if everyone in the neighborhood pretty much knows the deal.

Look, I’m not going to sit here and argue that I don't have a bit of schizophrenia going on—maybe a little—but paranoia? Not really my vibe. I don't walk around with this constant, nagging feeling that someone is lurking in the shadows or following me around. I mean, obviously, I'm aware that the entire internet is basically being vacuumed up by federal agencies and hackers these days—so yeah, maybe I get hit with a virus or some nasty malware every once in a while—but that's just life in the digital age.

Just wanted to pop in and send my warmest greetings to everyone! I hope you’re all doing wonderful—I’ve been keeping up with the discussions here from time to time. 🙂

Fair enough. This Azirileks stuff actually seems to kick in even if you only take half a dose.