Schizophrenia - General Discussion

Does anyone know if there's a support group out there specifically for people dealing with schizophrenia who are also struggling with depression?

I've found that while medication can help manage hallucinations, tackling the depression side of things is an entirely different beast altogether.

Martian7 said:Of course, there are resources out there for anyone dealing with mental health struggles: ludrug hvala

Thanks so much. I've actually heard of them before, so I think I might just head over there this coming Monday. 😉

Harold Anderson3, you’re drinking alongside the AP and AD, right? I assume you aren't picking up any depression from it, though... I know how that goes.
Has anyone else dealt with depersonalization from medication? I experience it quite frequently. Sometimes it hits hard, then it settles down a bit.
It feels like I'm watching a movie—as if my soul has detached from my body and I'm observing everything from the side or from some height above. Honestly, you don't feel much; it's more like your emotions are outside of you and unreachable, making the whole "movie" seem pointless and meaningless. Eventually, you don't even want to return to your body once you realize how hopeless it all feels.

Rebecca Rivera3 said:Harold Anderson3, you’re drinking alongside the AP and AD, right? I assume you aren't picking up any depression from it, though... I know how that goes.
Has anyone else dealt with depersonalization from medication? I experience it quite frequently. Sometimes it hits hard, then it settles down a bit.
It feels like I'm watching a movie—as if my soul has detached from my body and I'm observing everything from the side or from some height above. Honestly, you don't feel much; it's more like your emotions are outside of you and unreachable, making the whole "movie" seem pointless and meaningless. Eventually, you don't even want to return to your body once you realize how hopeless it all feels.

☕ That sounds absolutely fantastic. Seriously, what kind of meds are you on to pull that off? 🤔

Every time I was checked into the hospital, the doctors kept telling me I was a pretty easy case to handle.

It isn't exactly fantastic because it makes you feel like the life you're living isn't even real. It turns your entire past into a question mark and leaves the future feeling hollow.
You start wondering if you actually want to inhabit your own body or just exist as a stranger to yourself. When you feel alienated like that, life loses its purpose. Life is built on those tiny, fleeting moments, but what happens if you can't actually experience them? It’s like watching a boring movie where you already know the ending, so you just want to shut it off—except then you feel like shutting off life itself.

So, it really isn't wonderful; it's actually quite terrifying. At times, it feels incredibly dull, lonely, and deeply sad.
To be honest, I can't tell if it's just me or the medication. I'd say my sense of self is being blended with the drugs, and they're the ones driving these feelings.
The side effects are just... soul-crushing...

Rebecca Rivera3 said:It isn't exactly fantastic because it makes you feel like the life you're living isn't even real. It turns your entire past into a question mark and leaves the future feeling hollow.
You start wondering if you actually want to inhabit your own body or just exist as a stranger to yourself. When you feel alienated like that, life loses its purpose. Life is built on those tiny, fleeting moments, but what happens if you can't actually experience them? It’s like watching a boring movie where you already know the ending, so you just want to shut it off—except then you feel like shutting off life itself.

So, it really isn't wonderful; it's actually quite terrifying. At times, it feels incredibly dull, lonely, and deeply sad.
To be honest, I can't tell if it's just me or the medication. I'd say my sense of self is being blended with the drugs, and they're the ones driving these feelings.
The side effects are just... soul-crushing...

Oh, Rebecca.😢 That is such a heavy thought, though I have to admit, there's a certain heartbreaking truth to it that hits home for me too. Hang in there, 🙂

Hang in there, guys. Honestly, you all aren't doing so well. I was almost moved to tears by Diego and Rebecca Rivera3 just now. I truly can't fathom how much you're struggling. If I had the power to cast out whatever demon is weighing you down, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Rebecca Rivera3, stay strong. And please, don't take this personally.

When you’re pushed to the edge and forced to confront who you truly are, you finally tap into parts of yourself that remain dormant during a comfortable, happy life.
That kind of suffering can actually be a catalyst for growth. It breaks you out of societal norms and allows you to perceive and process things that most people never experience. Most people don't have the necessity to struggle, to create, or to push themselves beyond just meeting basic expectations. Someone in this position sees further; they hear the echoes of the world differently and experience reality through a much more profound lens.

I appreciate the support. I'm honestly not sure what my next move is regarding my health. I don't really trust doctors—I've only ever trusted one—and I'm not sure if there's a way to request a specific specialist.
He understands me; no one else does.

Harold Anderson3 said:Oh, Rebecca.😢 That is such a heavy thought, though I have to admit, there's a certain heartbreaking truth to it that hits home for me too. Hang in there, 🙂

It’s definitely a bummer. Luckily, things aren't quite that bad on my end. You two hang in there. 🙂

Carol Barrett2 said:The real issue is that they just don't listen—not even a little bit. Like, I told them I might be dealing with bipolar disorder, and they just went ahead and slapped a schizophrenia diagnosis on me instead. It’s ridiculous. I might even have Asperger's, which can totally look like schizophrenia on those standard tests. Plus, the meds they put me on gave me terrible constipation, yet they just kept pushing the same pills anyway. Then they expect us to sit there and have these deep, meaningful conversations while we're basically drugged up. How am I supposed to actually talk to a psychiatrist when I'm high as a kite from their prescriptions? It's like being completely out of it because of these pills.

That's why I don't even bother talking to psychiatrists anymore. And none of them have a clue about my liver issues, either. Nobody bothered to note it down in my medical records. Not even a mention that I was transferred from the internal medicine ward—where they actually caught the liver problem—over to psychiatry.

And this last time? Absolutely nobody noted that I only checked myself into psychiatric care because of some intense family drama.

When I show up to see a doctor at CZMZ, all he's going to think is that I've been having hallucinations or whatever, because he won't have any idea that I only came in because I couldn't handle my life anymore. Between their constant intoxication, the petty arguments, and them just making things harder for me... it's a mess.

But I can't even bring that up to him. Because I'm dependent on my family, and if I speak up, they could easily toss me out onto the street.

I think you’re getting way too bogged down in details that honestly don't matter. Take diagnostic codes, for example. In psychiatry, they can assign you a thousand different codes; it's the same with almost any illness. But those numbers aren't the point. The code is just a gateway to getting your medication, a surgery, or whatever medical treatment is meant to help you.

What actually matters is how you’re functioning, how you feel, and what symptoms you're dealing with.

If you obsess over doctors, pills, and specific diagnoses, you end up in this feedback loop that keeps someone who is otherwise capable stuck in total paralysis.
Look, there are psychotic disorders, various mental health conditions, and medications that work in all sorts of ways, but at the end of the day, you still have to live your actual life.
Taking your meds, trying to lead a calmer life, and going to appointments should just be part of your routine—things you do, but don't dwell on constantly.

Obsession is a real phenomenon. It’s like people who are obsessed with their jobs and spend their entire evening talking about work; patients often do the same thing, where they can't stop thinking about their illness. Often, just finding ways to shift your focus toward more positive, everyday things can actually help you recover a bit.

There are plenty of people living with schizophrenia. Some pass away, some never quite find their way back to reality, but a huge group of people functions perfectly well in society, whether they are on medication or not. It’s really up to you to decide which group you want to belong to right now.

I remember once I cornered my psychiatrist, demanding he give me a straight answer about my exact diagnosis. He just looked at me and said, "Look, we aren't obsessed with labels; our priority is actually getting you healthy."

Robin Lopez2 said:I remember once I cornered my psychiatrist, demanding he give me a straight answer about my exact diagnosis. He just looked at me and said, "Look, we aren't obsessed with labels; our priority is actually getting you healthy."

Honestly? That’s a perfectly valid way to look at it. 👍

Matthew Castillo5 said:Honestly? That’s a perfectly valid way to look at it. 👍

I agree, though personally, I’d rather just be thrown into a cell so I know exactly where I stand.

On another note, how are those of you on antipsychotics managing your weight? I’m 6'0" and usually hover around 180 lbs, but once I started the medication, I shot up to 225 lbs. About ten years ago, I decided to stop taking Risperdal on my own and managed to get back down to 180 lbs. However, after an inpatient stay at the psych ward and restarting the Risperdal, I hit 225 lbs again almost immediately. It feels like my appetite hasn't changed. Two years ago, I quit smoking and gained another 33 lbs, putting me at 258 lbs. Currently, I'm sitting at 251 lbs and the weight is really starting to bother me. I need to lose some pounds. Is that even possible while staying on 1mg of Risperdal a day?

Robin Lopez2 said:I agree, though personally, I’d rather just be thrown into a cell so I know exactly where I stand.

On another note, how are those of you on antipsychotics managing your weight? I’m 6'0" and usually hover around 180 lbs, but once I started the medication, I shot up to 225 lbs. About ten years ago, I decided to stop taking Risperdal on my own and managed to get back down to 180 lbs. However, after an inpatient stay at the psych ward and restarting the Risperdal, I hit 225 lbs again almost immediately. It feels like my appetite hasn't changed. Two years ago, I quit smoking and gained another 33 lbs, putting me at 258 lbs. Currently, I'm sitting at 251 lbs and the weight is really starting to bother me. I need to lose some pounds. Is that even possible while staying on 1mg of Risperdal a day?

The real danger lies in being miscategorized from the start, because once you're placed in the wrong box, the entire course of treatment follows that flawed logic.

Take the case of Dr. Bianca Vuksan Ćusa; she’s currently working in a department at Mayo Clinic, but back in 2002 and 2003, she was with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. When I went to see her for my third appointment—mind you, I went there entirely on my own volition, nobody had to "push" or coerce me into seeking help—she handed me a diagnosis of intellectual disability. To make matters even more harrowing, she didn't have the decency to tell me that diagnosis to my face during the exam; instead, I suffered the shock alone while walking away from the hospital complex toward the bus stop for Saint Jude's.

Can you imagine being told you have cancer, only for the oncologist to lack the emotional fortitude to look you in the eye, dropping the news without offering any comfort during that initial, devastating shock?

She simply couldn't, wouldn't, or perhaps didn't deem it necessary to confront me directly and provide support while I processed the news, even if it was just for five or ten minutes to let the reality sink in. And here is the critical distinction: an oncologist isn't necessarily a specialist in human emotion, whereas a psychiatrist is supposed to be. One might find such a lapse excusable in an oncologist, though even then, it would be hard to forgive; but for a psychiatrist, it is fundamentally different.

Despite that initial failure, she remains the finest psychiatrist I have ever encountered. None of the others have measured up to her. In fact, I recommended her in the psychological recommendations just a few moments ago.

Once the initial shock subsided, I continued seeing her, yet I found myself unable to truly move past that moment. During one session, I finally blurted out, "You know what's new? I'm leaving." A psychiatrist shouldn't show surprise when a patient makes such a statement, but she couldn't hide her astonishment. By the very next session, after having issued that diagnosis, she corrected it and wrote a different one. She didn't treat me as if I were intellectually disabled.

But honestly, she had only seen me three times before throwing that diagnosis at me, despite all the circumstances suggesting otherwise—the only thing I could do during that third session was laugh, albeit unwillingly, while describing a conflict at work involving a child.

Naturally, I hoped for better therapy from other specialists, but what I experienced with two of them was so bad I won't even mention it. Now, I am seeing someone who is neither the pinnacle of the profession nor the absolute bottom; she is quite average. Yet, Dr. Vuksan knew how to treat me best, regardless of that initial diagnostic error.

So, Robin Lopez2, there is actually a significant benefit to not being "pigeonholed" right away. It forces clinicians to remain vigilant and meticulous when forming a diagnosis. Once that label is applied, however, a rigid treatment protocol follows, leaving very little room for nuance or adjustment.

Yeah... I don't see anything particularly new happening here. It’s true that antipsychotics cause weight gain, but mental health should always come before aesthetics. That said, I think you could probably lower your dosage without everything falling apart.
I've been managing my own dosages for almost as long as I can remember. If I took the full milligram amount prescribed, I'd basically be a zombie all day. I honestly don't know how they expect people to actually live while on these medications. It’s like being in a vegetative state—you can't remember anything, you lose your sense of self, and then when the effects wear off, you're left wondering what you even did while you were drugged up.

Since I've dealt with stopping my therapy before, those thoughts are starting to creep back in. I just can't handle this vegetative existence; you need a functioning brain to work, to study, to do anything at all, but the AP meds just turn you into a sleepwalker.

The real question is whether I want to live hearing voices in my head while staying cognitively sharp, or if I'll take the pills and become a shell of a person who struggles to complete basic tasks.

Harold Anderson3 mentioned once that John Nash didn't take his medication. I'm going to give things a little more time, but if nothing changes, I might just have to learn to live with the voices.

Yeah... I don't see anything particularly new happening here. It's true that antipsychotics cause weight gain, but mental health definitely takes priority over aesthetics. That said, I think you could probably lower your dosage without it being an issue.
I've been managing my own dosages for almost as long as I can remember. If I took the exact amount prescribed, I'd basically be a zombie all the time. Honestly, I don't know how anyone is expected to actually live while on these medications. It’s just pure sedation—you can't remember anything, you lose all sense of presence, and then when the effects wear off, you're left wondering what you even did while you were drugged up.

Since I've already experienced stopping my treatment before, those old thoughts are creeping back in because I just can't handle this vegetative existence. You need your brain to work for school or just to function, but AP makes you so drowsy.

The real question is whether I want to live hearing voices in my head with high cognitive function, or if I'll take the meds and become a shell of a person who can barely manage basic tasks.

Harold Anderson3 once mentioned that John Nash didn't take his medication. I'm going to give things a little more time, but if nothing changes, I might just have to make peace with the voices.

I'm currently on 1mg of risperidone daily. Does anyone know what the minimum effective dose would be?

Robin Lopez2 said:I'm currently on 1mg of risperidone daily. Does anyone know what the minimum effective dose would be?

That really is a pretty low dose, and honestly, it might even go lower than that depending on how intense your psychosis is.
In my case, I used to get 50 mg injections every two weeks—which works out to about 4 mg a day—and I was taking that alongside Seroquel.

My mom is also on a regimen that averages out to about 10 mg daily—she gets 4 mg through an injection and another 6 mg in tablets—but she definitely needs that level to stay stable.

For you, though, maybe that 1 mg is plenty, especially if you're dealing with a milder form of psychosis.

Harold Anderson3 said:That really is a pretty low dose, and honestly, it might even go lower than that depending on how intense your psychosis is.
In my case, I used to get 50 mg injections every two weeks—which works out to about 4 mg a day—and I was taking that alongside Seroquel.

My mom is also on a regimen that averages out to about 10 mg daily—she gets 4 mg through an injection and another 6 mg in tablets—but she definitely needs that level to stay stable.

For you, though, maybe that 1 mg is plenty, especially if you're dealing with a milder form of psychosis.

I started on Seroquel, but it wiped me out; I spent two years basically asleep. Then I tried Modafinil, which was just okay. After that, I moved to Risperdal. I started at 2 mg twice a day, then dropped to once a day, and eventually tapered myself down to 1 mg once I felt better. I always stayed honest with my psychiatrist during checkups about my dosage. Once he saw that I was stable on 1 mg, he officially wrote it into my medical records. I did try 0.5 mg for about a week, but I ended up feeling constantly uneasy, like I was waiting for something bad to happen. I gave up on that lower dose and went back to 1 mg. I feel good on it, and that’s what matters.