Support for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses (Part II)

thanks everyone...

gotta keep moving, no other choice, even if it hurts a little 😢

Gary Barrett40, please accept my deepest condolences.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss.

Gary Barrett40, I am so sorry to hear that...

Hello, I hope you'll all welcome me into the group. So, I'm 40 years old, and back in 2013, I was diagnosed with lung cancer. It all started with these terrible bouts of pneumonia that lasted for weeks at a time. Those were my first symptoms. I ended up in a hospital in Indianapolis, where they told me it was just a standard case of pneumonia; I felt better, so they sent me home. However, I kept going back for monthly checkups, and the X-rays always looked suspicious—there was this persistent shadow showing up in the lower right lobe. They kept telling me it was just a common infection.
After a series of tests that didn't exactly bring good news, I was referred to the Mayo Clinic. I was seen by an excellent doctor, Copernicus, who is very young and highly promising. We immediately ran tumor markers, and he ordered a bronchoscopy along with a full pulmonary workup. That's when I was diagnosed with lung cancer in the lower right lobe. I had surgery in August 2013, which went well, and I started my first round of chemotherapy.
However, a year later, in August 2014, a PET-CT scan showed a recurrence. I started further chemotherapy immediately. Then, in December 2014, another PET-CT confirmed the disease had progressed to Stage IV. After deciding to go with targeted therapy using Alimta, we performed a third PET-CT this past June after four cycles, and it showed an excellent regression of the disease. Since then, I've had two more rounds of chemo. I had a standard CT scan a few days ago and am currently waiting on the results. God willing, everything will be alright.
In the fight against cancer, medicine is a huge factor, but I believe if a person gives up spiritually or mentally, then it's over. You have to fight; you have to stay positive. Even if you're told your time might be limited—which I know is incredibly hard to hear, and nobody should have to face that—you still need to live normally and maintain a positive outlook. I realize that this illness might have shortened my life regardless of my age, but I try to remain optimistic after everything I've been through. So, I want to wish you all plenty of love and optimism. I would love for us to share our experiences.
_

My dad just had surgery for colon cancer, but they aren't starting any actual treatment yet. His only "job" right now is to gain weight so he’s strong enough to handle chemo.

Is it standard practice to hold off on therapy like this when dealing with colon cancer?

Dana Martin87 said:My father just had surgery for colon cancer, and right now he isn't getting any active treatment. His main goal seems to be gaining weight so he can hopefully qualify for chemotherapy later.

Is it standard practice to hold off on treatment for colon cancer like this?

I wouldn't go as far as calling it "abnormal," but here's the reality: for a patient to even be considered for oncology treatments, they have to be in stable enough general condition to handle the hit. That means being well-nourished enough to actually survive the strain. Most oncology protocols don't kick in until a few months after the initial surgery anyway. Usually, when people first get diagnosed, their nutritional status is exactly what determines if they meet the criteria for treatment, but I can't say for sure if that's the only reason your father is in this waiting period based on what you've shared. Regardless, if you're feeling uneasy about the doctor's plan, my advice is to get a second opinion immediately.

The chemotherapy has left her feeling incredibly weak, especially with this profound muscle fatigue... Does anyone have any advice to offer? My mother was already somewhat frail to begin with, and I am genuinely concerned that being confined to bed will only accelerate her decline... I wonder if applying a topical cream might help alleviate some of this muscle pain? Thank you.

They found three different malignant tumors in my boy, and thankfully, they were all caught in the early stages. They managed to remove all three, so now he just needs regular checkups since nothing seems to have spread. I’m currently trying to gather as much information as possible because I want to help him in any way I can—I really don't ever want us to find ourselves in a situation like this again.

I’ve been reading quite a bit about the acidity of the body (I think a German scientist actually won a Nobel Prize for some discovery related to this). You can read more about it here:

Is there any actual truth to this, and what has your experience been? A doctor I know even suggested it to me; he explained how we can essentially flush the "monster" out of his system, though he warned there's a chance it could return if his internal chemistry stays the same. He mentioned the importance of normalizing his pH by sticking to alkaline foods and cutting way back on acidic ones.

So, I’ve completely overhauled his diet. I cut out all the junk—no processed meat, hot dogs, canned goods, ketchup, or mayo. I also ditched the chocolate, ice cream, and those sugary fruit yogurts. I swapped out heavy cheeses for some fresh, local cow's milk cheese, and instead of blue fish, I'm doing white fish, beef, or chicken (though I'm trying to keep meat intake to an absolute minimum). I replaced acidic foods with alkaline options, used honey instead of refined sugar, switched wine vinegar for apple cider vinegar, and swapped milk for yogurt. I've even traded olive oil for sunflower oil, plain rice for wild rice, and I'm pushing plenty of fruits and veggies along with that morning ritual of warm lemon water. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure if everything I’m doing makes sense, and if it does, I struggle to understand why doctors treating cancer patients don't talk about this stuff more often.

slyviper4 said:I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading lately regarding the acidity levels of the body (I believe a German scientist actually won a Nobel Prize for research in this area). If you're interested in diving deeper into the topic, you can find more information here:

Does anyone know if there's any actual truth to this, and what has your experience been like? I was actually chatting with a doctor I know who suggested a similar approach. He mentioned that while we can work on flushing out those "monsters" from our systems, there's a real chance they could come back if we don't stay consistent. The idea is to normalize our pH levels by focusing heavily on alkaline foods while cutting way back on acidic ones.

http://scienceblog.cancerresearchuk..../#acidic-diets

http://rak-nije-mrak.proboards.com/post/5924/thread

slyviper4 said:They found three malignant tumors in him, all caught in the early stages. They’ve managed to surgically remove all three, and since nothing has metastasized, he'll just need regular follow-ups now. I am currently gathering as much information as possible because I want to support him in every way imaginable; I simply refuse to let us find ourselves in this position ever again.

I have been reading quite extensively about the acidity of the body—apparently, a German scientist was even awarded a Nobel Prize for discoveries in that realm. You can read more regarding that here:

Is there any actual truth to this, and what has been your experience? A physician I know suggested this approach to me, explaining how we might purge the "monster" from his system, though he warned there is a risk of recurrence if the body's pH isn't normalized by consuming alkaline foods rather than acidic ones...

I have completely purged his diet of junk food—no more canned meats, hot dogs, or processed spreads, nor ketchup, mayo, chocolate, ice cream, or those sugary fruit yogurts. I swapped out Gouda for fresh, local farmhouse cheese, replaced blue fish with white fish, and switched beef for chicken, though I am trying to keep meat intake to an absolute minimum. I’ve traded acidic foods for alkaline options, used honey instead of sugar, apple cider vinegar instead of wine vinegar, yogurt instead of milk, sunflower oil instead of olive oil, and wild rice instead of plain white rice. I am pushing fruits, vegetables, and that morning ritual of warm water with lemon... All in all, I find myself wondering if any of this actually makes sense, and if it does, why doctors treating cancer patients don't speak of it more openly...

Of course it makes sense. Generally speaking, eating whole, unprocessed foods benefits everyone. Doctors don't just say things without reason, either; their primary mandate is medical treatment, not lifestyle coaching. Ultimately, there is no universal rulebook... sometimes, one simply has to trust their intuition...

My own mother eats whatever she pleases, and I tend to look the other way when she indulges in fries, mayo, or whatever nonsense she feels like at the moment. But, she doesn't do it that often...

Hang in there, and continue being a pillar of strength for him...

Hi everyone. I’ve been lurking here for a while because I’m fighting breast cancer myself, but I’m posting today because of my sister-in-law. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer over a year ago—stage IIIc. She had surgery to remove her uterus and ovaries and went through chemo, and for a bit, things actually looked okay. But then, just a few months back, the cancer started spreading again. They moved her to a second line of chemo; she finished three rounds, and they didn't do a damn thing to help. An MRI showed the cancer has spread extensively through her abdomen, intestines, and the peritoneum, even if it hasn't hit other organs yet. In the meantime, she started vomiting constantly, became incredibly weak, and ended up in the hospital. Doctors said the tumor is pressing against her bowels, so they operated yesterday. Apparently, her condition is dire and considered inoperable (I’m hearing this secondhand from my brother, who is absolutely devastated).

The way I see it, things are heading toward the inevitable. My sister-in-law is simply too frail to attempt anything else—maybe some other chemo to shrink it enough for surgery?—but since she can't keep food down, I don't see how she could ever get strong enough. Honestly, we've mostly come to terms with the fact that she's dying. But how do we make this easier for her? It looks like once she recovers slightly from the surgery, they’ll send her home. And then what? Just vomit up everything she tries to eat or drink because it won't pass through her intestines, eventually dying from hunger and thirst? It seems barbaric. If anyone knows of anything we can do to provide some relief, please let me know.

Honestly, if you don't have the specific medical expertise or enough hands on deck to provide proper palliative care at home—which would be the gold standard—you should look into a specialized facility. She needs 24/7 professional support to manage everything from pain management to IV infusions, especially since she can't keep food down anymore.
It breaks my heart. With an ovarian cancer diagnosis at that initial stage, the battle was unfortunately lost before it even truly began. It’s just such a vicious, insidious disease.
Please, stay by her side as much as possible and do everything in your power to ensure she spends her remaining time with dignity.
I'm wishing you all peace and strength during this time.

Brenda Johnson13 said:Hello everyone. I’ve been reading this community for quite a while now because I am personally battling breast cancer, but I am posting today regarding my sister-in-law. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer over a year ago, stage IIIc. She had surgery to remove her uterus and ovaries and completed chemotherapy, after which things seemed to be looking fairly positive. However, just a few months later, the cancer began spreading again. They moved her to a second line of chemotherapy—she went through three cycles, and they didn't help at all. An MRI revealed that the cancer has spread extensively throughout her abdomen, involving the intestines and the peritoneal lining, though nowhere else yet. In the meantime, she started vomiting constantly, grew extremely weak, and ended up hospitalized. They said the tumor is pressing against her bowels, so they operated on her yesterday. Apparently, her condition is dire and considered inoperable (I am relaying this somewhat secondhand, as I am hearing it through my brother, who is absolutely devastated).

It feels to me like the end is approaching... My sister-in-law is simply too weak to attempt anything further (perhaps another round of chemo to shrink it enough for surgery?), but since she can't keep anything down, I don't see how she could ever regain any strength. Consequently, we have mostly come to terms with the fact that she is dying. But how can we make this easier for her? It seems likely that once she recovers slightly from the surgery, they will send her home. And then what? Will she just vomit everything she tries to eat or drink because it can't pass through her intestines, eventually dying from hunger and thirst? The thought is horrifying. If anyone knows if there is anything at all we can do to provide some relief...

It breaks my heart to hear that you have already accepted that she will pass away. Perhaps that is the first step toward finding peace for everyone: find your own strength so that you may try to sustain her spirit as well. : d

Regarding stage IIIc, we are talking about an advanced progression of ovarian cancer. Treatment usually begins with surgery followed by a chemo protocol, and unfortunately, it isn't uncommon for "remnants" or a recurrence to be discovered. Based on how much it affects the abdomen, doctors generally follow specific classifications and apply certain rules for each group. I would like to offer some comfort by saying that if the ovarian cancer hasn't "escaped" the abdomen, doctors often view that as a relatively better sign...

From everything you've described, your sister-in-law has fallen into a very critical state. You mentioned she underwent surgery, yet now it is being called inoperable?

We have been fighting a stage IIIc ovarian cancer diagnosis for eight and a half years (two major surgeries and roughly 84 rounds of chemotherapy). These last two months look exactly like what your sister-in-law is going through, and it is a terrible feeling when you don't know how to ease the suffering of someone you love. Just... please, don't give up! Encourage her with every single sip of water or tea. Once the vomiting subsides, try offering light, fat-free broths... just take it one day at a time. Once she regains some strength, the doctors will surely offer more chemotherapy, and she will receive it as long as her body can tolerate it. It sounds impossible, but do not lose hope, because one's mental state is almost everything... Ultimately, perhaps she will recover better at home, in her own peace (and I truly, deeply hope she does).

For me, every single day is a constant hum of the same anxiety, grief, and helplessness. We have been through so much, and my mother has endured so much, yet every new development hits just as hard.
Hang in there!

Angela Wright and Benjamin Grant6, thanks for the advice and the kind words.

It’s hard to get anything specific down on paper when I don't even have a clear picture of what we're dealing with myself. After the surgery—dealing with some intestinal complications—the surgeon was completely pessimistic. He said her intestines are totally fused with the tumor mass. He couldn't even find a clean section of bowel to successfully create a colostomy. Now he's doubting she'll even be able to eat. They're going to try feeding her tomorrow, so we'll see if things are truly as hopeless as he thinks.

My sister-in-law is actually holding up pretty well mentally, probably because her brother hasn't told her the grim truth about the prognosis. He lied and told her they managed to partially clear the blockage and that she just needs to recover from surgery before starting chemo again. If only it were that simple. She’s only on her second line of chemo; there are still options left. If she can make it through this, there might be hope... but let's not get ahead of ourselves. First, we need to see if she can even keep food down.

My dad put on 3 pounds. 👍 He’s feeling great about it though—walking around, eating small meals more frequently... Well, who knows how it goes...

For those who might be looking for it, Megastat is back on pharmacy shelves as of this week.

I’ve been lurking here for a while, reading everything you guys post, and honestly, my sister just got hit with liver cancer. She had surgery a few months back—they said it went well, they managed to take out part of her liver and gallbladder.
She spent a month and a half stuck in the hospital. It was a nightmare. She had one stroke, then caught a pulmonary embolism and spent five days in the ICU because she keeps developing these blood clots.
They finally let her come home five days ago so she could recover enough to actually start chemo, but then today? Boom. Another stroke. Now she’s right back in the ICU. I called the intensive care unit, but all they’ll tell me is that the left side of her body is weak. That’s it.
Can anyone tell me how many times this can happen? I mean, seriously, she’s never smoked and she doesn't even drink. How does this even happen?
I just can't wrap my head around the idea that she might not make it. It feels impossible to accept.
Maybe I’m just being irrational, but I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this kind of reality?div>

She’s dealing with some blood clotting issues, which is why they're seeing those thrombi forming... nobody can give me a timeline on how much longer this will last, but she's currently sitting in a high-risk category. It's honestly gut-wrenching. With everything going on, there's no way to process this other than just taking it one day at a time and dealing with whatever comes next. She’s at the Mayo Clinic right now, which is the only place I can actually help her, and they're doing everything in their power to get her stabilized. We're just putting it all in God's hands and praying for guidance.
Stay by her side and try to stay positive. Honestly, having that surgery was the right move—it's the most effective way to tackle the underlying issue.
Don't try to look any further ahead than tomorrow. It's completely counterproductive.

Angela Wright said:Apparently, she’s got some kind of blood clotting issue going on, which is why those clots keep popping up... nobody can say how much longer this will drag on, but she's definitely in that high-risk zone. Man, I am so incredibly sorry. Honestly, when things get this heavy, you can't do anything but take it one day at a time and just deal with whatever hits you next. She's at the hospital, which is the only place she can actually get help, and they're doing everything they can to stabilize her, so we just have to put it all in God's hands and hope for the best.
Just stay by her side and try to keep your head up. It's a good thing she had the surgery; that's really the best way to tackle the root of the problem.
Don't go looking down the road. Don't think about anything further than tomorrow. It's totally counterproductive.

Thanks. Just when you think things are finally turning a corner, boom—total shock. It's just me, my mom, and her. My sister is 58, and honestly, I have so much respect for people who have the strength to face this stuff, but I'm terrified for both of them. My mom is 83... if she goes too...

I don't even know...

Kimberly Booth said:Thanks. Just when you think things are finally looking up, it hits you. It’s a total shock. Now it’s just me, my mom, and my sister left. My sister is 58; I honestly don't know how people find the strength to face this kind of thing. I'm terrified for both of them. My mom is 83... if she goes too...

I don't even know...

Look, what can I actually tell you? That's life. People get sick, they grow old, we lose people... but life is also about navigating these exact situations. No matter how heavy they feel, they are part of the natural cycle, and we have built-in survival mechanisms that somehow keep us upright.
Try to stay rational and, like I said, stop staring at a future beyond tomorrow. You deal with obstacles when you actually run into them and figure out what you're facing. Nothing and no one can truly prepare you for any of this. But we all carry a reservoir of strength inside us that we aren't even aware of until we need it. That’s just my experience. I’ve lost a lot, but life eventually gave back to me, mostly through my kids.
Stay brave. You'll find a way. The most important thing is to hold onto your composure, because once you lose your peace, you lose your dignity.