Support resources for families dealing with cancer and other serious illnesses

Edward Vaughn10 said:I honestly doubt they’ll ever find a cure for this monster. At the end of the day, your own cells just go rogue and start multiplying with a 'glitch.' Anyone can get hit by it, though it feels like there are way too many cases here in the States—if I recall correctly, Mickey mentioned that too.

The sad truth is, we’re leading the pack when it comes to preventable tumors. We could slash those numbers by 25% if people actually quit smoking, showed up for routine screenings, and took prevention seriously. Plus, you’ve got a massive population dealing with terrible diets and zero exercise. Throw in environmental pollution and junk food, and you have a recipe for disaster. It all hits the immune system, which eventually fails at its one job: spotting and killing off rogue malignant cells. Every single one of us carries malignant cells in our bodies at any given moment; it’s the immune system that keeps them in check.
Then there’s the healthcare system, which is fundamentally broken—especially regarding rare tumors. Patients often can't access the best possible treatments simply because it isn't "cost-effective" for the insurance companies.
Ultimately, a huge chunk of the responsibility lies with us.

p.s. Check out David Servan Schreiber's book "against cancer." It'll make everything much clearer. Stop listening to Mickey and his anecdotes.

I am certainly no devotee of Mickey, and honestly, it didn't do my mother any good even though she put all her faith in it 😢 but I suspect that was simply because she hadn't explored any other options yet.

Sandra Martin36 said:I keep wondering how much longer it will take before I can think of him without seeing the man he was before the illness. All I see is the nightmare we lived through—every new symptom that popped up, watching him suffer in pain, those endless sleepless nights where I just lay there wondering what was going through his mind, feeling his isolation. I can still see that look in his eyes—that overwhelming terror mixed with this desperate hope that I’d tell him things would get better. But we knew they wouldn't. I felt completely helpless. Now that he's gone, I just can't wrap my head around why a good man had to endure all of that. And that image of him at the end, struggling for every single breath, looking like someone I didn't even recognize though he was still my father... it won't leave me. It's terrifying to be alone with these thoughts.

Oh my God... it's like you wrote those exact words for me. 🤦

And the worst part? I can't even find comfort in knowing I'm not the only one who went through this. It just breaks my heart thinking that anyone else might ever have to feel what I've been feeling these last few months. 😢

I am so sorry... I honestly don't know what to say to you, or even to myself. The only thing I can tell you is that I truly understand, and I'll 😘

Thank you.
What makes this even harder is that I haven't really had any space to process my father's passing. Since he died, I've been the one handling everything—organizing the services and dealing with all the endless paperwork on my own. My mother... well, she’s grieving. But how?
After forty-four years of marriage, she’s suddenly alone, and I think she’s completely lost her way. She can be quite hysterical at times, shouting or having these outbursts of crying and uncontrollable anger, which she often directs toward me. In an attempt to keep her mind busy, she takes on these incredibly grueling physical tasks for her own sake... mowing the lawn, tending to the garden, pruning fruit trees, hand-washing curtains, or digging up old fruit trees just to start over from scratch. I honestly worry that she might hurt herself. I just don't feel like I have the strength left for another "battle." Perhaps the worst part is that she won't listen to me; I try talking to her calmly, and then I end up yelling because I've reached my breaking point, especially when she calls me at work just to brag about finally pruning a peach tree. I am just so exhausted by it all.

Just let her blow off some steam. It's better than letting all that rage and sadness fester inside her. Once she gets past this breaking point, things will level out, and she'll eventually calm down.

Look, I started this venting thread in the psychology section a while ago.
Come on, show some empathy for the people who just received their diagnosis and are literally at day one of this fight.
Your depressing stories aren't doing anything to lift them up—not to mention those who are already facing terminal diagnoses.

You hit the nail on the head, Angela Wright... I was actually sitting here yesterday thinking the exact same thing—we’re going to end up driving people absolutely insane. 😢

Melissa Morgan67 said:I'm checking back in with a question.

It’s mostly about deodorants. Which ones don't contain aluminum chlorohydrate? I read that Sebamed isn't actually very effective. I love Dove, but it contains aluminum, and I'm becoming increasingly worried about breast cancer.

Thanks for any potential answers.

Dear Duso,
If you're afraid, stop overthinking it and just stop using deodorant altogether.
Use a wet wipe instead, or occasionally wash with chamomile. Apply a subtle perfume with verified ingredients—you can even put it on your clothes—and leave the worries behind.

Melissa Morgan67 said:I'm checking back in with another question

It’s mostly about deodorants. Which brands don't use aluminum chlorohydrate? I read that Sebamed isn't actually that effective, so I'd rather skip it. I absolutely love Dove, but it contains aluminum, and honestly, the fear of breast cancer is starting to weigh on me more and more.

Thanks for any help you can give me.

Look, there just isn't any solid evidence that antiperspirants cause cancer. Believe me, if that were true, the regulatory agencies across the US would have started a massive revolution over this issue ages ago.
Instead of using Dove which contains an antiperspirant, you could try some FA products since certain ones are aluminum-free, or maybe look into Biogen which uses Japanese minerals. You can find their whole lineup at CVS.

ruggedscout91 said:Just wipe it with a tissue or maybe use some chamomile wash once in a while. Throw on a subtle, high-quality cologne on your clothes and call it a day.

Oh sure, because I’m just dying to know how many times a day I’d have to be wiping myself down with that stuff!!! 😂

brisksurfer, I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. And to anyone else who’s been dealing with a passing recently that I might have missed... my heart goes out to you too. Honestly, it’s hard for me to even come on here sometimes because I struggle so much with patching up my own wounds...

Hey everyone, I could use some advice.

My mom just started chemotherapy, and we’ve decided to try supporting her with some natural supplements alongside her treatment. We’re looking to order a few things from the States, so I wanted to see if anyone here has experience with importing stuff. Does anyone know how to handle the shipping so it doesn't get hit with massive customs fees?

Lisa Adams said:Hey everyone, I really need some advice here.

My mom just started chemo, and we’ve decided to support her with some natural supplements. We’re looking to source a few things directly from the States, so I wanted to see if anyone has experience ordering stuff from America? I'm trying to figure out how to do this as cheaply as possible—basically, how to avoid getting hit with customs fees.

Avoiding customs is pretty much impossible, and honestly, if you're talking about actual medication, it’s illegal to import it into the US via the internet.
It's not just a matter of money, either. The internet is a total Wild West where anyone can sell anything; if you're lucky, you might get some encapsulated baby powder instead of what you ordered. If you're unlucky, you could end up with something toxic that seriously compromises her health.
My advice? Stick to complementary supplements that are actually vetted and available locally. We've covered this topic extensively on this forum already.
Personally, I’d recommend Native Propolis to help protect her immune system from infections, which is absolutely critical when someone is going through intense oncological treatment.

It’s funny how we all just drift around in these little individual bubbles, isn't it? We bump into people living in similar little bubbles and think, "Yeah, this is it," never once considering that there are entire worlds of people living in completely different realities... at least not until our own bubble suddenly bursts wide open...
Mine popped just over a month ago, when my husband ended up in the hospital with advanced liver cirrhosis. He basically destroyed himself with alcohol, and in doing so, he flipped our entire family's life upside down...
First it was pure despair, then the anger set in, followed by this paralyzing fear for him, and then fear for us—wondering what happens next, how we move forward—and eventually it just turns into resignation, disappointment, and this constant, gnawing anxiety.....
He’s back home now, essentially being kept going by medication; if he can somehow pull through the next six months, a liver transplant might actually be on the table... that is, if he doesn't touch a single drop of alcohol, if he manages to hold out until then, if they actually put him on the list, and if a donor is found...
Everything—both my personal life and the business—has fallen squarely on my shoulders since he's the owner of the small company we both work for. I'm constantly worried about my daughter, too, who is struggling so hard to process her father's illness; she's fighting back with aggression and rage, neglecting her schoolwork, just running away from everything... and I don't have any time left for my own parents, who are aging and frail themselves and were counting on my help, yet all I hear from everyone is "you have to do this" or "you must do that for him" or "you need to help her"... while I just sit here feeling utterly helpless, with no idea where to begin or even which direction to head in...
The only thing I do is pray constantly that God gives me the health, the strength, and the capacity to carry this whole situation, to do the absolute best I can for both my husband and my daughter, and that I don't lose that optimistic outlook I used to have... I pray that all my feelings, thoughts, words, and actions stem only from love, so that I don't end up hurting anyone while I'm sitting here this sensitive and caught in this constant turbulence of emotions...
Anyway, that's why I stumbled upon this topic, thanks to Angela Wright for starting it... it feels a little easier to get through things when you're in good company....

rustymaker5 said:It’s funny how we all live in our own little bubbles, bumping into people in similar bubbles and hanging out without ever realizing there are folks living in completely different worlds... right up until our own bubble bursts...
Mine popped just over a month ago when my husband ended up in the hospital with advanced liver cirrhosis. He basically destroyed himself with alcohol, and in the process, he flipped our entire family life upside down.
First comes the despair, then the rage, then the fear—fear for him, fear for us, wondering what happens next and how we move forward—and then it turns into resignation, disappointment, and pure anxiety...
He’s home now, kept going by medication. If he can hold steady for at least six months, a liver transplant might actually be an option... provided he doesn't touch another drop of alcohol, if he makes it that far, if he gets put on the list, and if a donor is found...
Both my personal and professional lives have fallen squarely on my shoulders (my husband owns the small business where we both work). I’m constantly worried about our daughter, who is struggling to deal with her father's illness; she lashes out with aggression and anger, neglecting school and just wanting to run away. I don't have any time left for my elderly parents, who are also dealing with health issues and were counting on my help, yet everyone keeps telling me "you have to do this" or "you have to do that for him" or "you have to do this for her"... while I just feel helpless, with no clue where to start or which way to turn...
All I do is pray constantly that God gives me the health, strength, and ability to pull this whole situation through—to do my best for both my husband and my daughter, and to keep my naturally optimistic outlook from slipping away. I pray that all my feelings, thoughts, and words stem from love, so I don't end up hurting anyone while I'm feeling this sensitive and caught in this constant emotional turbulence...
Anyway, that's why I stumbled onto this thread. Thanks, John Doe, for starting it; everything feels a little easier when you're in good company...

Dear rustymaker5, your situation is incredibly heavy because, on top of everything we're all feeling, you're likely carrying this massive weight of resentment toward him.
Try to forgive him, mostly for your own sake.
You will get through whatever lies ahead. We have no idea how much strength we carry inside ourselves, especially women. Be the woman you promised to be; honor your vows through thick and thin, and whatever happens, know that the universe rewards you. Even if nothing else, your conscience will be clear, and you'll have peace.
Sit down with your little girl and talk to her openly, just the two of you, woman to woman. Tell her how sorry you are that you have to shatter that piece of her childhood, but explain that this isn't your fault. She needs to grow up and realize that you both need to be each other's support system. Don't be ashamed to cry in front of her. Your man is weak right now, but I'm certain he loves you both deeply. Even though he messed up, he deserves a second chance. Even if his medical outcome is uncertain, let him strive to be a better man for the two women in his life. Don't take every word he says to heart, because right now, it's not him talking—it's the addiction and the cirrhosis speaking for him.
Hang in there, you can do this!

Dear rustymaker5... look, I get why you're furious with your husband. You have every right to be. But listen to me: alcoholism is a legitimate disease. Just because your husband destroyed his own life doesn't mean he didn't love you and your daughter. Alcoholics can't just snap their fingers and decide one morning that they're done with it. It doesn't work like that. Just like you need a doctor when your body is fighting against cancer, you need a doctor when your mind is battling alcoholism.
Try to look at it this way: he simply couldn't help himself. Honestly, I think that's the cold, hard truth about addiction. I highly doubt anyone is actually proud to be an alcoholic, and I'm certain everyone wants to change. The real question is who will actually find the path and the strength to pull it off.

Like Angela Wright said, try to use these difficult times to actually bond... and frankly, you'll feel a lot better if you let go of that anger. Holding onto it? You're only hurting yourself.

Hang in there! 😘

brisksurfer said:Yeah, I’d love to know how many times a day you'd actually have to wipe that stuff off!!! 😂

Deodorant itself isn't some guarantee of hygiene. It’s just a habit.
Hygiene is an entirely different matter.
The downsides often outweigh the benefits.
I prefer staying natural, paired with things that are actually proven to work.

Can someone help me make sense of this?

It’s been a year and a half since my surgery and a year since I finished radiation, but now metastases have shown up. My oncologist thinks chemotherapy is the next move. Now for the tricky part: is surgery being avoided because things have reached a critical stage and we're moving straight to radical treatment, or is the situation actually "easier," meaning they're opting for a less invasive method instead of major surgery? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I honestly don't know what to think. Has anyone here dealt with something similar?

Melissa Castillo said:Can anyone help me make sense of this?

It’s been a year and a half since the surgery and a year since radiation wrapped up, but now metastases have shown up. My oncologist is recommending chemotherapy. Now comes the tricky part: is surgery being avoided because things have hit a critical stage and they're moving toward radical measures, or is the situation actually "easier," meaning they're opting for a less invasive approach instead of major surgery? Is that a good sign or a bad one? I honestly don't know what to think. Has anyone else dealt with something similar?

That depends entirely on the specifics.
In my experience, the goal is always to cut out everything possible through surgery, but chemo becomes an absolute necessity regardless.

It started as breast cancer with metastatic axillary lymph nodes, and yesterday they confirmed liver metastases. My main question was about why surgery is being bypassed—does that mean it’s progressed too far to be operable? I’m assuming chemo. Unfortunately.