What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Alex Roberts4 said:What happened to me today was honestly peak absurdity. I felt like I was being interrogated by the Inquisition or something. This lady from my neighborhood starts grilling me about where I’m planning to have my baby. I tell her I’m looking at the Peterson clinic, and she just loses it. I told her I actually gave birth at the Holy Spirit hospital and they were absolutely top-tier—not a single complaint. Then she has the nerve to ask if I’ve already "secured" a specific doctor over at Peterson, acting like he's the only one worth seeing. I just stared at her and said, "Actually, there are plenty of great doctors there, and you just show up on the day you want and see who's available." I wasn't looking for any special favors, and besides, I haven't even started my prenatal appointments yet.
But no, she keeps harping on about the Holy Spirit hospital, acting like there's some secret way to get in. Basically, she had a connection, bragged about how great it was, and now she thinks everyone else should have it easy too. As if! I countered by saying I hadn't decided yet and that her precious little hospital isn't perfect either. My experience at the Vineyard wasn't exactly stellar, and some of my friends had issues at either Holy Spirit or Peterson, so... what now? If I followed her logic, I wouldn't be able to pick a hospital at all.
But wait, it gets better. Am I going crazy? I mentioned I hoped things wouldn't end up being that complicated, and she goes, "Well, you can just arrange it..." Oh, for crying out loud! Go ahead, "arrange" for someone to cut you open, why don't you? And then—get this—she asks if my mom would be able to help out during delivery. I told her that if she could, she would, but she's getting older and her health isn't what it used to be. The look she gave me... it was classic. Like, "Oh, grandmas aren't allowed to be sick or weak; they have to sacrifice themselves no matter what." It was a total disaster. She made my mom sound like some kind of monster, when the poor woman raised four kids all by herself and now she's elderly and struggling with her health, so she obviously can't do everything all the time. That was the moment I drew the line. Truly insane.

Honestly, the worst ones are always the women who have already given birth. They’re the ones most likely to swoop in and try to "educate" me... they act so self-important and pushy. Like their choice is the only right choice. Seriously, it's unbelievable. So incredibly intrusive and exclusionary.

I call that PPE—Postpartum Euphoria.😁

Don't listen to those fools, especially the ones whose husbands have PPE too. Sometimes it's a permanent pathology, but usually, it fades the moment they hit reality.

It wasn't until my kid was three years old that I really started socializing with other parents. Before that, we were happy just being two people, and that was enough for us. As for advice like that? I shut it down with a blunt response, a joke, or just a simple: "I have to go."

silentraven6 said:I call that PPE—Postpartum Euphoria.😁

Don't listen to those fools, especially the ones whose husbands have PPE too. Sometimes it's a permanent pathology, but usually, it fades the moment they hit reality.

It wasn't until my kid was three years old that I really started socializing with other parents. Before that, we were happy just being two people, and that was enough for us. As for advice like that? I shut it down with a blunt response, a joke, or just a simple: "I have to go."

Exactly. That’s the way to do it. And apparently, this "euphoria" lasts forever for some people. She gave birth eight years ago... what else can you even say to people like that besides "get a life"?

Alex Roberts4 said:What happened to me today was honestly peak absurdity. I felt like I was being interrogated by the Inquisition or something. This lady from my neighborhood starts grilling me about where I’m planning to have my baby. I tell her I’m looking at the Peterson clinic, and she just loses it. I told her I actually gave birth at the Holy Spirit hospital and they were absolutely top-tier—not a single complaint. Then she has the nerve to ask if I’ve already "secured" a specific doctor over at Peterson, acting like he's the only one worth seeing. I just stared at her and said, "Actually, there are plenty of great doctors there, and you just show up on the day you want and see who's available." I wasn't looking for any special favors, and besides, I haven't even started my prenatal appointments yet.
But no, she keeps harping on about the Holy Spirit hospital, acting like there's some secret way to get in. Basically, she had a connection, bragged about how great it was, and now she thinks everyone else should have it easy too. As if! I countered by saying I hadn't decided yet and that her precious little hospital isn't perfect either. My experience at the Vineyard wasn't exactly stellar, and some of my friends had issues at either Holy Spirit or Peterson, so... what now? If I followed her logic, I wouldn't be able to pick a hospital at all.
But wait, it gets better. Am I going crazy? I mentioned I hoped things wouldn't end up being that complicated, and she goes, "Well, you can just arrange it..." Oh, for crying out loud! Go ahead, "arrange" for someone to cut you open, why don't you? And then—get this—she asks if my mom would be able to help out during delivery. I told her that if she could, she would, but she's getting older and her health isn't what it used to be. The look she gave me... it was classic. Like, "Oh, grandmas aren't allowed to be sick or weak; they have to sacrifice themselves no matter what." It was a total disaster. She made my mom sound like some kind of monster, when the poor woman raised four kids all by herself and now she's elderly and struggling with her health, so she obviously can't do everything all the time. That was the moment I drew the line. Truly insane.

Honestly, the worst ones are always the women who have already given birth. They’re the ones most likely to swoop in and try to "educate" me... they act so self-important and pushy. Like their choice is the only right choice. Seriously, it's unbelievable. So incredibly intrusive and exclusionary.

Ugh, I totally get you! I’ve had a few moments like that myself, and man, it really does feel like someone is just backing you into a corner... not a great feeling at all!

So, at a get-together today, we ran into this guy we only know casually—we happened to be on the same weekend trip through the Rockies once. He comes up to congratulate us on becoming parents, but then immediately turns to my husband and asks if he managed to "score him a son" :vomit:. Then, he turns to me and asks if we "conceived the baby" during that trip or if it happened later. To top it all off, he starts grilling us about our birth years just so he can calculate whether we’re "old enough" or "too old" to be having kids.

Superstitions. I absolutely hate them... I lost my mind the other day... 🙂
So, my grandma—who I basically lived with for 24 years—passed away... 😢
And because of some stupid superstition, they wouldn't even let me see her...
First off, they waited five hours after everyone else to tell me. Naturally, I totally lost it. Like, you aren't allowed to cry or get worked up? Well, I did exactly that. Just a complete mess... 🙂 🙂 🙂

Then I hear someone whisper from the side: "Well, pregnant women shouldn't be attending funerals anyway." 🙂
Yeah, good luck trying to stop me from doing that... 🙂

Brenda Sullivan59 said:Superstitions. I absolutely hate them... I lost my mind the other day... 🙂
So, my grandma—who I basically lived with for 24 years—passed away... 😢
And because of some stupid superstition, they wouldn't even let me see her...
First off, they waited five hours after everyone else to tell me. Naturally, I totally lost it. Like, you aren't allowed to cry or get worked up? Well, I did exactly that. Just a complete mess... 🙂 🙂 🙂

Then I hear someone whisper from the side: "Well, pregnant women shouldn't be attending funerals anyway." 🙂
Yeah, good luck trying to stop me from doing that... 🙂

Last week, I went to a friend's service, and honestly, nobody even breathed a word about staying away—which is lucky, because it was hard enough as it is, let alone dealing with this constant, nagging feeling that I never truly found closure with her...

They finally realized their behavior was just doing more harm than good... so they actually looked past the superstitions for once...

In the end, they let me see her at the funeral home. I gave her a kiss and told her I forgave her. Honestly, seeing her one last time just made things easier for me. Though, man, when I walked out of there, I felt totally wiped—like my legs had been cut from under me. But whatever, it was still better this way...

I went to the viewing, too...

- Just like so many other pregnant women out there, I find myself constantly rubbing my belly, over and over again, every single time. 🙂
- As for the question about the baby's gender: honestly, if I knew, I’d probably just tell you all. 🙂
- Once we finally figured out the sex and I thought I could finally move past those questions, the interrogation shifted: "What are you going to name them??" I tell everyone the same thing—I won't know until the baby is actually born, because, quite frankly, I have no clue. Today alone, six different people cornered me with that exact question. And I'm sure this will continue relentlessly until the end of my pregnancy. 🙂

edit:

And also this:
- Are they seriously going to come into the delivery room with you?!! The poor thing is going to be absolutely traumatized. They can't do that; you know they're going to see everything...
Look, it is absolutely not my priority how things look in that moment, and quite frankly, trivial nonsense is being treated as more important than the arrival of our greatest love into this world.
It is truly unbelievable, and most of this comes from people who are constant fixtures at their local church (no offense intended)... and yet, somehow, everything gets boiled down to such vulgarity. 👎 It might not sound pretty when I say it, but that is exactly how they think.

It really gets under my skin when people use that phrase "when the baby comes to life" in any context. Usually, older women seem to believe that a baby "comes to life" once the mother or someone else can actually feel them moving. I’m currently at 12 weeks, and I can honestly say I already feel those little tickling sensations. Since this is my second pregnancy in a short span of time, I remember the feeling pretty clearly. Yet, my mom and a few others keep telling me I shouldn't feel anything yet because the baby hasn't even "come to life" yet.

It’s honestly such a relief to realize that with this second pregnancy, I’m not reliving all those old traumas from the constant, repetitive questions. This time around, I'm just not letting them get to me... 😁 nor am I worrying about people
I’m strictly focused on myself—like, how much I can't wait to roll the baby around in that new Maclaren stroller while the big brother cruises along behind in his Lascal😍
Honestly, I just don't give a damn about anything else right now. It's that simple.

So, a little while back, I was on the subway and an older woman stood up for me. 😲 Usually, I’m the type who waits specifically for a train where I can actually snag a seat, but I was in such a rush that time, so I just sort of shuffled along—walking a bit, standing a bit, sitting down whenever my legs gave out. Anyway, I ended up standing next to this woman, maybe in her 60s, and at one point, without even thinking about it, I kind of rested my hand on my stomach—which, let's be honest, isn't even showing much of anything yet. She caught me doing it and just asked if I wanted to sit down. It caught me so off guard that I just blurted out, "No, thank you." Of course, the whole train was packed with teenagers just sitting there. She just looked at me and said, "Oh, for heaven's sake," or some variation of mentioning the 😁 Holy Spirit, and then she actually grabbed my arm to pull me into the seat. It was... honestly, incredible.

Yeah... that whole thing about "did the baby come back to life"... I just don't get it. Or the idea that the nausea will pass "once the baby comes back to life." 🙂

Out of all the mindless nonsense I deal with online, one comment really stung: "So, you've put on some weight, huh?" (As if gaining three pounds in five months is some kind of crime) 🤣 Yeah, no kidding! Of course I’ve gained weight—my stomach is literally growing. Like, what do people expect? Do they think a pregnant woman stays physically identical throughout the entire process???

jadecobra55 said:Out of all the mindless nonsense I deal with online, one comment really stung: "So, you've put on some weight, huh?" (As if gaining three pounds in five months is some kind of crime) 🤣 Yeah, no kidding! Of course I’ve gained weight—my stomach is literally growing. Like, what do people expect? Do they think a pregnant woman stays physically identical throughout the entire process???

😁 Ugh, tell me about it! It's like everyone thinks we should just starve ourselves to stay the same shape, except for the bump. Apparently, you're allowed to grow a stomach, just don't dare gain any actual weight anywhere else.

Sarah Harris5 said:😁 Ugh, tell me about it! It's like everyone thinks we should just starve ourselves to stay the same shape, except for the bump. Apparently, you're allowed to grow a stomach, just don't dare gain any actual weight anywhere else.

Exactly. As if all that weight just magically vanishes the second the baby is born? Give me a break. Personally, I never gave a damn about a few extra pounds, but apparently, people these days act like it's a federal crime to gain weight while expecting. They get so worked up over it, it's exhausting.🙄

Yes, I believe I have finally pinpointed exactly what gets under my skin.

The question: "How many months along are you?" Honestly, I haven't the slightest clue how many months I am—I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it. I track the weeks, and I track the days; I could likely give you an exact day count if pressed, but months? Not a clue.
It seems people find weeks entirely irrelevant when you mention your progress; they are solely interested in the month.
Initially, I made an effort to explain the concept of weeks and why we track them that way, but I've lost interest in the endeavor. Now, I simply invent a number for the months and call it a day.

I couldn't agree more. It’s not that it gets under my skin every single time, but...
it really irritates me when people ask—where on earth is your stomach?!
That one specifically drives me up the wall!!
What do you mean "where"? It's located just a little south of Chicago, for heaven's sake. 😠

Honestly, those of us trying to conceive don't need any extra commentary. 😳

Tyler Newman7, that "where's your stomach?" question gets on my nerves too 😢 but honestly, the constant commentary about people's bathroom habits is what really ticks me off 🙂

Benjamin Mitchell6 said:Tyler Newman7, that "where's your stomach?" question gets on my nerves too 😢 but honestly, the constant commentary about people's bathroom habits is what really ticks me off 🙂

More, more, and even more.
It’s particularly noticeable toward the end, when every single walk downtown seems to be accompanied by someone marking their territory at the local mall. 😂

It doesn't matter; I’m telling you, all of this is nothing more than a walk in the park. Honestly, it's a total breeze. 😍

What really gets under my skin is how everyone who knows I’m due any day now has started blowing up my phone, asking if the baby is here yet or when exactly it’s happening. Like, newsflash: how should I know?! Once things actually start moving, you won't be the last to find out... Phone stays on mute and I'm just ignoring the noise 😬

And then they have the nerve to act offended because you didn't personally reach out to tell them you gave birth, and they won't even congratulate you on your first baby... My cousin did the exact same thing. He knew I was pregnant, and we were actually hanging out at his place just a week before my due date. Then he sees the announcement on Facebook, but nope—I never expected that kind of reaction from someone who’s trying to be a father.