What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Honestly, half the people around me are driving me up the wall..

1. I’m supposed to be on strict bed rest, but my husband’s parents and his mother think I’m perfectly fine to be running errands. They expect me to cook, clean, and do laundry just because their mothers did all those chores while pregnant. They don't seem to grasp that everyone's body reacts differently.

2. Then there’s the public transit issue. If I manage to snag a seat on the subway, some lady will inevitably demand I stand up because I’m "supposed" to give up my spot, completely ignoring my disability status.

3. And the constant touching? Trying to feel for the baby is the absolute worst. My husband’s sister and his best man's wife literally shoved their heads between my legs just to listen to the heartbeat. Every time someone reaches for my stomach, I honestly feel like cutting their hands off. It’s repulsive.

4. When my blood pressure drops or I have abdominal pain, the standard response is, "Oh, that’s totally normal." Thanks for the reassurance—I nearly collapsed a few times because of that "normal" dismissal before my husband caught me.

5. Finally, there are the endless questions about the gender, even when it hasn't been revealed yet. Or the unsolicited "expert" opinions claiming they can tell if it's a boy or a girl just by looking at my bump.

placidwolf14... Look, I’m telling you, you need to be on strict bed rest. Don't listen to those clueless idiots, and just flat-out refuse to do everything they're pushing you to do. And honestly, stop getting up for old ladies on the subway; most of the time they’re practically sprinting to those seats anyway, probably not even needing them. Your stomach isn't some public utility, but since you didn't set boundaries from the start, you're going to have to be the one to finally put a stop to this nonsense. If people touching you really bothers you, don't let anyone near your midsection—at least not in front of others, because it’ll just confuse them when they see you letting one person touch you but rebuffing someone else. If they aren't smart enough to realize they can't tell your gender yet, then just stop talking to them altogether.

The reason I'm saying this is because I'm hoping you're actually following doctor's orders and resting properly right now, rather than trying to push through and letting people force you into things you shouldn't be doing. It feels like you're letting narrow-minded people get under your skin and end up risking your own health. You're acting like a total slave!

When you're feeling weak, you should have someone nearby who can grab whatever you need for you; if you were seventeen again, this would basically be considered pure neglect!

rowdyjackal12 said:Ugh, people asked me the exact same thing.

But I honestly had no clue what they were even talking about. Is it actually true that women go blind from straining during delivery?! (Assuming they already wear glasses, I guess)

There is just no way I'm buying that!

I wear soft contacts, so I’d probably just show up to the hospital with those. Does anyone know if that's actually okay? 😕

I actually wore my soft contacts when I had my baby. I used Oasis extended wear lenses, so I didn't even take them out for five days while I was stuck in the hospital. I ended up having a C-section under general anesthesia and everything went totally fine!
Maybe daily disposables might be a better bet... and definitely bring some reading glasses just in case.
At the end of the day, it really just depends on how your eyes handle contacts.

I just stick with basic monthly Bausch & Lomb contacts.

And honestly, they’re great—never had a single issue. I mean, I can't exactly pop them in blindly, though; I definitely need a mirror nearby.

But so far, I've never had one slip out or anything weird like that happen...
I don't know. Still on the fence about it, I guess. 🤷

Chloe Roberts2 said:placidwolf14... Look, I’m telling you, you need to be on strict bed rest. Don't listen to those clueless idiots, and just flat-out refuse to do everything they're pushing you to do. And honestly, stop getting up for old ladies on the subway; most of the time they’re practically sprinting to those seats anyway, probably not even needing them. Your stomach isn't some public utility, but since you didn't set boundaries from the start, you're going to have to be the one to finally put a stop to this nonsense. If people touching you really bothers you, don't let anyone near your midsection—at least not in front of others, because it’ll just confuse them when they see you letting one person touch you but rebuffing someone else. If they aren't smart enough to realize they can't tell your gender yet, then just stop talking to them altogether.

The reason I'm saying this is because I'm hoping you're actually following doctor's orders and resting properly right now, rather than trying to push through and letting people force you into things you shouldn't be doing. It feels like you're letting narrow-minded people get under your skin and end up risking your own health. You're acting like a total slave!

When you're feeling weak, you should have someone nearby who can grab whatever you need for you; if you were seventeen again, this would basically be considered pure neglect!

thanks 🙂 I'll change my behavior slightly; hopefully, they'll understand that all of this bothers me and that I have to protect myself for the baby. Thank God at least my husband is reasonable and helps with everything.

Ugh, why didn't I start this thread sooner? At least now I have a place to vent! :-D
Anyway, the sheer rudeness and total lack of empathy from people on subways, trains, buses... it drove me absolutely insane. Over nine months of pregnancy, maybe four people actually showed an ounce of decency. And because of my job, I had to spend way too much time shoving my way through crowded public transit several times a day. Someone mentioned earlier that people would just stare at the building facades instead of looking up—that really ticked me off. I was out on my feet all day, running errands across the city, working my tail off...
People touching my belly wasn't even an issue, mostly because I had that "don't you dare" facial expression down pat—luckily, nobody actually tried it! :-D

The absolute highlight of stupidity happened in a waiting room at a clinic in Chicago—there were five of us pregnant women standing there, and this guy sitting next to one of them didn't even think to move, nor did she remind him that, you know, it would be polite to let one of us sit down. Like, wtf?!

So, it turns out I haven't been resting nearly enough. Today’s ultrasound showed the baby is lagging behind by about two weeks. I’m at 21 weeks, but development is stuck at 19. My amniotic fluid levels are also low, even though everything looked perfectly fine just three weeks ago. I'm heading in for hospitalization this Monday, though who knows how long they'll keep me?

placidwolf14 said:So, it turns out I haven't been resting nearly enough. Today’s ultrasound showed the baby is lagging behind by about two weeks. I’m at 21 weeks, but development is stuck at 19. My amniotic fluid levels are also low, even though everything looked perfectly fine just three weeks ago. I'm heading in for hospitalization this Monday, though who knows how long they'll keep me?

And what is everyone saying now? Still think you're making it all up?
Sending good vibes for everything to turn out okay... and tell all the other "well-wishers" to take their unsolicited advice to the DMs.

It is truly disheartening how little empathy people seem to possess these days... I am genuinely sorry you had to go through that, placidwolf14. I really hope everything turns out alright for you.

Caroline, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that everything works out for you as soon as possible!

My blood pressure actually spiked the other day because of an acquaintance of mine who had four kids in just six years, never owned a single pet in her life, and then suddenly decided to get a dog, a cat, a guinea pig, and a hamster all within the last six months. About three years ago, she actually kicked me out of her house because my little dog—who is a Maltese mix, incredibly well-behaved, and always stays clean since she sleeps in the bed with us—accidentally wandered into her living room, and she told me I wasn't allowed to bring my dog over anymore because a stray hair might get into her baby's mouth and end up in its liver (!). I honestly still can't wrap my head around how that's even biologically possible, but hey, I guess someone with a high school diploma knows more about anatomy than I do with my college degree. And now, she has a cat sleeping in a playpen right next to the baby, and she lets the guinea pig and the hamster crawl all over the dining table while they eat.
Anyway, she sent me a message on Facebook the other day asking, "Have you thought about who you're going to leave your dog to when you have kids?" and when I asked what on earth she was talking about, she replied, "Oh, you know... she just doesn't seem very reliable around children..." 😕😕 😕
What is there even to say to that?

Caroline 🙂I truly hope everything turns out alright... try to stay optimistic. 🙂

Shirley actually managed to label me as being "far out there." 🤣 😂
Ask her if she’s genuinely that dim-witted or if she’s just putting on an act... 🤣 honestly... people like that end up having ten kids. 😢

placidwolf14 said:So, it turns out I haven't been resting nearly enough. Today’s ultrasound showed the baby is lagging behind by about two weeks. I’m at 21 weeks, but development is stuck at 19. My amniotic fluid levels are also low, even though everything looked perfectly fine just three weeks ago. I'm heading in for hospitalization this Monday, though who knows how long they'll keep me?

I'm really hoping everything turns out okay.

Sam Baker6 here are just a few more reasons why you should stay far away from her 😁

- she actually tried to force a girl to be born, and when she ended up with a boy instead, she treated the whole thing like a disaster; it was a high-risk pregnancy from the start, and three different doctors told her there was only a fifty-fifty chance both she and the baby would make it out okay
- because she was so obsessed with having a daughter, she spent every single day drinking spoonfuls of apple cider vinegar since apparently that changes your biological sex if you didn't know
- I have known her since we were kids and she has always had short hair, but now she claims she’s going to get extensions (which is going to cost her about $667) and when my sister asked why she wouldn't spend that money on something useful, she just said the money gets wasted anyway but at least the extensions will still be there ☕
- my dog isn't even allowed in her house because their table is always messy, you can see piles of dust and grime under the couch, she never opens the blinds, and she actually put aluminum foil on the windows in the boys' room
- the six-year-old spends his entire life glued to a computer screen, he looks translucent because he's so pale and always has red eyes and dark circles, the four-year-old only finally ditched diapers this summer and still doesn't talk (but she clearly couldn't care less) and the two-year-old just bites everything in sight
- she stopped breastfeeding the five-month-old because she couldn't be bothered, so she switched him to solids, but since he kept rejecting everything she made, she started cooking this weird mixture of flour and goat milk with a few drops of lemon; when he was four months old she was feeding him formula and constantly feeding him while he lies there, and even though I suspect he has reflux, she refuses to take him to a doctor
- the kids call her mommy but they call their dad by his actual first name (WTF??!!)
- she reaches out to me all the time to tell me she has a strong feeling that I'm carrying a girl and that ultrasound technicians have already misdiagnosed me twice
- after six years together, she and her husband went to the movies for the first time to watch "Spring break," and she walked out halfway through to tell me in a whisper that it was way too soft and she felt awkward beyond belief, though I get it, considering she lives 1.9 miles isolated from society, with her longest trip being a 700-meter walk to the local elementary school once a week to drop off the oldest one

there is plenty more where that came from, but she is living proof that we really ought to start requiring licenses before people are allowed to have children.

And thanks, Shirley 🤣 🤣 🤣
As for that poster... I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry. It brought to mind George Carlin and his take on "funk" 😂 😂—he articulated it so perfectly 😬

Thank you all so much 🙂 we’ll get through this together; my little one and I will persevere and come out stronger on the other side. Fingers crossed everything turns out alright 🙂

I was at Walmart earlier today, and they had this massive sign up saying 'Priority for Pregnant Women and People with Disabilities.' There was quite a crowd of them gathered right by the registers, and I was just trying to zip through to pay for a few quick items when I ran into a bit of a situation. This woman, who looked to be about sixty, basically shut me down. She told me, "Don't be upset with me, I can't just let you go ahead; I left my two grandkids waiting outside, so I'm in a huge rush." Honestly, I was just standing there in total shock. It felt like one of those moments where, if a man had tried to cut in, someone would have stepped in to help him, but since it was a woman, everyone just stayed quiet. You'd think women would be a bit more empathetic toward one another, especially when you see a pregnant lady with a huge bump waiting her turn.

Hardly. Women can be vicious 😈
Not all of them, granted, but they’ll invent any nonsense just to be cruel to one another
Most of my experiences have been with men, usually older ones

feralgardener11 said:Hardly. Women can be vicious 😈
Not all of them, granted, but they’ll invent any nonsense just to be cruel to one another
Most of my experiences have been with men, usually older ones

Me too. I had this one instance with a young couple and two kids in tow. :crazy: But I gave them a thanks and turned it down—wouldn't have taken it if I did. We were at a McDonald's, and I'd gone ahead to grab a seat while my husband stayed in line, but honestly, the thought alone was pretty sweet.

I had mentally braced myself for this moment, but I honestly didn't expect it to be quite this grating. It’s such a strange, awkward sensation to deal with—people just reaching out to touch my stomach and trying to strike up a conversation with the baby.🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

And then there's the hair loss on top of everything else. 🙂

Taylor Parker7 said:I was at Walmart earlier today, and they had this massive sign up saying 'Priority for Pregnant Women and People with Disabilities.' There was quite a crowd of them gathered right by the registers, and I was just trying to zip through to pay for a few quick items when I ran into a bit of a situation. This woman, who looked to be about sixty, basically shut me down. She told me, "Don't be upset with me, I can't just let you go ahead; I left my two grandkids waiting outside, so I'm in a huge rush." Honestly, I was just standing there in total shock. It felt like one of those moments where, if a man had tried to cut in, someone would have stepped in to help him, but since it was a woman, everyone just stayed quiet. You'd think women would be a bit more empathetic toward one another, especially when you see a pregnant lady with a huge bump waiting her turn.

Oh, this happens in all sorts of ways... It reminds me of when I accidentally ended up in one of those priority lines once. There was an actual pregnant woman right in front of me, so I figured fine, I'll just wait my turn. Suddenly, this guy—maybe 40 years old, looking perfectly healthy from head to toe—pushes his way toward the pregnant woman and tries to assert himself, saying, "Excuse me, but I have priority!" She looks at him and asks, "I'm pregnant, what are you talking about?" And he just doubles down: "Well, I'm disabled, so I think I have more priority than you."🙂

Fortunately, the cashier saw the whole thing and told him to wait his turn. ☕But since he shoved his way past me anyway, I just gave him a long, cold look from head to toe and muttered, "Yeah, sure, 'disabled.' Right."🙂