What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Brian Martinez8 said:Good grief... 🤦

Is this really happening?
Was it this much of a mess when you guys had your first kid?

When my daughter was born, we weren't together—it was just her and me—so those questions never even came up. Her father... I don't know if he celebrated, maybe he did, but he was a completely different person back then; thankfully, we weren't married. I certainly wouldn't marry someone who would celebrate without me being there.😁

That was nine years ago, so I can't recall every single detail.😁

But generally speaking, from what I gather, this is normal for some people. Just think about it while the mother is stuck in the hospital. About two years ago, a relative of ours threw a celebration like that; honestly, it felt incredibly wrong for us to attend a party while his wife was lying in a hospital bed. 😢 We told him straight up that we didn't feel like showing up, and he took offense... He basically said, "Fine, if you care so much, come along, but it won't be done our way."

It’s just tacky—everyone is partying, roasting lambs or whatever, drinking and celebrating, while the poor woman is stuck in the hospital. Then, once she's finally home, the party's already over, and she's left to deal with diapers and maybe get a few cookies in the afternoon. 🤣
It’s as if she’s an incubator rather than a parent who should be celebrating the birth of their own child. Personally, I’d feel terrible throwing a party without my husband, and he’d feel the same without me. Look, to each their own, but that’s not how we operate—they can judge us all they want.☕

I’m definitely one of those people who thinks it’s perfectly normal 🤷
It’s not like my husband is getting wasted or anything, but look... I didn't just undergo some high-stakes brain surgery where survival is a question mark. I had a baby.
A healthy, happy baby, and I feel fine. So why shouldn't we celebrate that?
Besides, when a woman finally gets home with a newborn that's only a few days old, she’s certainly not going to be in the mood for playing hostess
cleaning up after guests and everything. Everyone will just want to hover over her, grab the baby for a second, blah blah blah.
And in two months, once she's actually recovered, there'll probably be a christening or something anyway, so there won't really be a need to throw a separate party just for the birth.
Just my two cents... 😉

placidtinker31 said:I’m definitely one of those people who thinks it’s perfectly normal 🤷
It’s not like my husband is getting wasted or anything, but look... I didn't just undergo some high-stakes brain surgery where survival is a question mark. I had a baby.
A healthy, happy baby, and I feel fine. So why shouldn't we celebrate that?
Besides, when a woman finally gets home with a newborn that's only a few days old, she’s certainly not going to be in the mood for playing hostess
cleaning up after guests and everything. Everyone will just want to hover over her, grab the baby for a second, blah blah blah.
And in two months, once she's actually recovered, there'll probably be a christening or something anyway, so there won't really be a need to throw a separate party just for the birth.
Just my two cents... 😉

Well, that's completely fine too.
If that works for you, why wouldn't it?
Personally, I am BEYOND READY to have a beer—honestly, I'm counting down the days—and that’ll be my moment.
The whole pregnancy, I was genuinely bummed that I couldn't touch a drop of alcohol. 😁 Nemajko:clap:
And thank God I have the husband I do; he decided to share the struggle with me and didn't drink either, so he won't be drinking while I'm in the hospital. To me, that's incredibly sweet—after all, we made this baby together, it's a joint venture, so we both endure it. 😁
You know how pathetic it would look if we were sitting at the table and he’s knocking back his second beer while I just sit there staring sadly at his glass. 🤣

If you didn't miss it and don't feel bad about it, then great. 😁 You aren't missing out on anything. 😁

But the point is, this is your decision, not your family's. It would be the equivalent of saying you want to throw a party immediately, and your relatives act all judgmental—like, "how dare you party while you're incapacitated." 😁 That's the gist of it.

Ideally, everyone should just realize that parties, pregnancies, and life in general aren't for the sake of the neighbors or the community—they are for you, the people actually living it. I don't know why anyone would even bother questioning them. 😁

Dammit 😢

I totally get wanting to celebrate a little while Mom is still in the hospital. It’s basically so she doesn't have to deal with a house full of guests once she finally gets home with the baby. Honestly, I’d much rather get this over with so I can focus on actual important stuff. That said, my husband and I both agree we don't need a three-day bender fueled by bourbon and endless parties.

But I have to side with Justin Allen81 here—this isn't anyone's business but yours.

Statements like "It's the tradition" drive me absolutely insane.

We're atheists, and my grandmother is basically ready to disown me because I won't have the baby baptized. Like, seriously, that's my call to make. It has nothing to do with anyone else. Then she hits me with the: "But how are you going to live like that?!"

Great.

And yeah, I miss drinking... To be honest, ever since I got pregnant, I've realized just how much I miss having a glass or two of wine. Or even just a good bitters cocktail to unwind. But hey, the sacrifice is worth it, obviously. 😁

Well, obviously.

But honestly, it’s only during pregnancy that I’m realizing just how much I crave everything I’m strictly forbidden from having.😁 I’ve always been a red wine girl—beer was never really my thing, nor were white wines or hard liquor—but good grief, ever since I found out I'm pregnant, I’d kill for a beer, a glass of Chardonnay, or basically any alcohol under the sun.🙏

I want them all.🙏

And don't even get me started on raw meat!!!!!! carpaccio !!! It's the steak—served rare, where it's just barely seared on the outside but bloody and tender in the middle... My god...

:counting the days:

So, why is a single glass of beer or wine strictly off-limits during pregnancy?
Or why can't you just eat whatever you're craving? 🤷

This is my third pregnancy, and honestly, I’ve never once bothered checking what's considered "forbidden"...

placidtinker31 said:So, why is a single glass of beer or wine strictly off-limits during pregnancy?
Or why can't you just eat whatever you're craving? 🤷

This is my third pregnancy, and honestly, I’ve never once bothered checking what's considered "forbidden"...

Look, maybe a single beer is fine. But if I have one, I'll probably want another—so it's better not to tempt fate.😁

As for raw meat, though—that’s a hard no. Same goes for unpasteurized cheeses, raw eggs, and so on. There's actually quite a bit to watch out for.

placidtinker31 said:So, why is a single glass of beer or wine strictly off-limits during pregnancy?
Or why can't you just eat whatever you're craving? 🤷

This is my third pregnancy, and honestly, I’ve never once bothered checking what's considered "forbidden"...

The second I realized I was pregnant, I crossed alcohol off my list immediately; even my partner wouldn't let me have a celebratory toast. I spent a good chunk of time worrying if I’d already done some damage to the baby because I’d had a few drinks right at the very beginning before I knew.

I’m just waiting for my doctor to give me the green light at my next checkup, telling me I can have a drink or smoke if I were a smoker (which I'm not).
Once that happens, I'll happily enjoy a little glass of wine after lunch when the craving hits. I don't have much of a thirst for beer right now, but I'm sure that'll change once the weather gets warmer.
Staying disciplined and sticking to just one drink isn't really an issue for me.

Anyway, what's really getting to me is the nausea and the constipation.
My stomach hasn't even started acting up yet, and I'm not listening to any of those old wives' tales; once people start coming at me with that unsolicited advice, I'm just going to shut them down pretty quickly. :d:

Hey there!
I’m not really an alcohol person—not like I’m making some huge sacrifice or anything—so it’s not a big deal for me. I might grab a shot or a cocktail if there’s a massive celebration going on (provided I’m not pregnant, obviously), but honestly, it’s more about being part of the vibe than the taste, which, let's be real, is pretty gross.
As for celebrations, I totally agree that it should be the parents' call, not everyone else's. Around here, it’s pretty standard to get together and celebrate once the baby arrives, and my husband will probably do the same—it just doesn't make sense to me to host a party while I'm still recovering and trying to manage a newborn.
One thing that really gets under my skin during pregnancy, though, is when people comment on me being "thick." I’ve actually lost about a pound due to all the nausea, but since I have a bump, people assume I'm just gaining weight everywhere. It’s annoying because I’ve only put on about 30 pounds total, so it's not like I've suddenly become huge or anything.

Justin Allen81 said:When my daughter was born, we weren't together—it was just her and me—so those questions never even came up. Her father... I don't know if he celebrated, maybe he did, but he was a completely different person back then; thankfully, we weren't married. I certainly wouldn't marry someone who would celebrate without me being there.😁

That was nine years ago, so I can't recall every single detail.😁

But generally speaking, from what I gather, this is normal for some people. Just think about it while the mother is stuck in the hospital. About two years ago, a relative of ours threw a celebration like that; honestly, it felt incredibly wrong for us to attend a party while his wife was lying in a hospital bed. 😢 We told him straight up that we didn't feel like showing up, and he took offense... He basically said, "Fine, if you care so much, come along, but it won't be done our way."

It’s just tacky—everyone is partying, roasting lambs or whatever, drinking and celebrating, while the poor woman is stuck in the hospital. Then, once she's finally home, the party's already over, and she's left to deal with diapers and maybe get a few cookies in the afternoon. 🤣
It’s as if she’s an incubator rather than a parent who should be celebrating the birth of their own child. Personally, I’d feel terrible throwing a party without my husband, and he’d feel the same without me. Look, to each their own, but that’s not how we operate—they can judge us all they want.☕

Look, I don't see it that way at all. It’s traditional for the man to host a little something while the wife is still in the hospital, and I didn't mind it one bit. I'm not saying everyone has to follow that rule—that's your call—but I never felt neglected; I was just happy my husband had a reason to celebrate. There weren't any massive backyard feasts going on.

I actually wanted him to celebrate—after all, he couldn't exactly stay in the hospital room with me! And honestly, it worked out well that it happened while I was away; at least I didn't have to organize anything or deal with the cleanup afterward!
Personally, I didn't want any visitors after coming home from the maternity ward, except for immediate family.
Besides, if you're breastfeeding, you really can't drink at all! :-/ I was much more relaxed during pregnancy, but now that I'm nursing, I'm way more careful about what I eat and drink.

Chris Mitchell4, I feel the exact same way😉

For example, I found it a bit hypocritical when my sister-in-law and I were pregnant. It was always a massive celebration...
with my mother-in-law throwing these huge parties at her place and all that. But when their daughter had her baby,
suddenly they didn't want to visit her mother-in-law at all because, you know, their poor little thing was stuck in the hospital and
there was just no way she was going over there 🙄

During my pregnancies, I eat whatever I want. I'm not a fan of alcohol, though. If I have a beer, it’s just a small one. That's plenty for me...
What are you saying? Breastfeeding is actually much harder. At least for those first three months. Nothing tastes right—not too sour, not too salty, nothing isn't quite right...
but you manage to get through it eventually

Him: "So, how are you? How are you feeling? Is everything okay?" Ugh...

Honestly, I wouldn't mind at all if my husband decided to celebrate while I'm still recovering in the hospital; in fact, I’m actually hoping nobody shows up for those first two weeks.

What really caught me off guard during this pregnancy was the sheer number of people reaching out just because they want to come "see" me. Or rather, see the baby. And honestly, I suspect it's mostly because they're just curious about how big my 🤣

is. It’s wild how many people feel entitled to give such precise commentary on my body—describing the shape of my bump, how I’m carrying, how much weight I’ve put on, or even what I look like from the side, the front, or the back.

Maybe I'll become one of those people when I'm older, but right now, I'm genuinely baffled by how much people obsess over things that aren't their business...

Look, I get it—if that setup works for you all, then fine. It’s your call. But that’s just not how we’re doing things. Honestly, we aren't even planning any big, traditional celebrations—the kind everyone expects. We’ll probably just host a nice lunch for my parents and siblings in a few weeks once we've settled in, and then maybe grab drinks with friends later on. Hosting parties at our apartment is basically out of the question right now anyway; we have neighbors who are as annoying as they come.😁
My daughter recently had a birthday party with five friends from 5 PM to 9 PM over the weekend, and this neighbor actually had the nerve to come banging on the door, screaming about us "jumping around" the apartment.🤣
Felicity was lucky she didn't hear it. My husband took one listen to her and sent her on her way—he's a calm guy, so he didn't feel the need to get into a massive argument. Though, frankly, I have no idea what I would have said to her if she'd tried to lecture me personally.😁

It’s just incredibly irritating when people start lecturing me with that "this is how it's done" or "how can you think that" attitude. It’s the same loop every single time—it happened with the wedding (since we didn't do the whole classic thing), it's happening with the baptism (since there won't be one), and so on. I don't see why anyone has an opinion on our business other than us. It’s not like we’re living in some dystopian dictatorship where everything is MANDATORY. It isn't.😁

As for the weight gain... yikes.😁
I was at the OBGYN yesterday and they put me on the scale; I nearly fell off from the sheer shock. I'm not telling anyone how much I've gained.🤣
I think when they inevitably ask (and they ask CONSTANTLY), I'll just tell them to mind their own business. They can check back in with me once I've fully developed a double chin.😁

People ask how much weight I've gained, then give me that worried, judgmental look when I tell them. But the second I turn down a donut or a greasy burger, suddenly they’re just as confused again.

Go screw yourselves.

🤣

I always tell everyone exactly how many pounds I’ve put on.
If anyone actually cares, I can give you my numbers too. 😁

It doesn't really matter anyway. In a year, they'll just be telling me how pathetic I look, how I barely eat anything, and how my kids have completely worn me out... 🙄

I always start at 115, and then the second I gain five pounds, suddenly I'm "filling out."
Meanwhile, the women who start at 155 act like they've lost a massive amount of weight when they barely change at all... 🤦

Honestly, people will always have something to say. No matter what you look like or what you do... just stick it in your ear and keep moving. 🙂

I honestly found pregnant women who wouldn't stop complaining to be quite a bit much 😛 😁

I found some weird comfort in what a friend told my husband—she mentioned how much weight she gained because she was basically skin and bones just three or four months after giving birth. Now, I’m just calculating exactly how many pounds I can pack on before I hit her level.😁

If she could drop it that fast, I should be able to too... theoretically... assuming I stop baking cookies every single day.🤣

Honestly, sweets aren't usually my main obsession—I eat them occasionally and call it a day—but during pregnancy? First time or this time around, it doesn't matter; I'd happily move into a bakery if they'd let me. I don't know what takes hold of me, but I am constantly craving pastries and cakes. Even this morning, in that half-asleep state where you haven't fully woken up yet but you remember everything from your dreams... I was dreaming about making a chocolate raspberry cake. I was actually mentally drafting a grocery list of ingredients for it. I woke up and spent at least another thirty minutes just debating whether I actually wanted it or not.🕺

From now on, I’m sending my husband to the store. I won't go myself, even if someone offered to pay me—I’d just end up walking out with a mountain of chocolate.🕺

Jose Ramirez2 said:
Pregnant women who complained incessantly always got on my nerves.😛 😁

That's exactly why we vent here—so we don't have to bother people in real life.😁

Quincy Adams

Justin Allen81 said:Something really rubbed me the wrong way the other day—not directly related to the pregnancy, but let’s just roll with it: we were having coffee with my husband's side of the family when they brought up the whole "celebration" thing for the baby's arrival. Apparently, he’s expected to host some big get-together while I’m stuck in the hospital, because that’s just how things are done, right?

My husband and I just shared this one look.😁
He tried to explain to them that the idea was completely insane to us—that him drinking and hosting a party while I'm lying in a hospital bed is just wrong. He told them he’ll be home looking after our daughter and getting everything ready for when we finally head back from the hospital, so we can all celebrate together once I've actually recovered.

And those looks they gave him...🤣 It was like, "That's not how you do things." As if he isn't entitled to celebrate the birth of his son however he damn well pleases! Like, heaven forbid a man doesn't get wasted the second a baby is born just to show he's happy.🙏

We explained it again.
No, it’s not how it works.

We explained it yet again.
"Well, I guess you won't be joining us for a drink then!" they snapped.

🤣
Honestly, I'm just waiting for them to show up at our doorstep uninvited.🤣 My only regret is that I won't be there to witness the drama.🤣

Microsoft and I were in the hospital together after F was born. I lost a lot of blood and couldn't even get out of bed for a few days, so having him right there meant everything. We didn't bother with any big celebrations then; we just enjoyed being together in the hospital. Once she hit the one-month mark, we treated the family to a celebration—my folks had already thrown a little get-together for their friends the day I gave birth.

Quincy Adams

Justin Allen81 said:Look, I get it—if that setup works for you all, then fine. It’s your call. But that’s just not how we’re doing things. Honestly, we aren't even planning any big, traditional celebrations—the kind everyone expects. We’ll probably just host a nice lunch for my parents and siblings in a few weeks once we've settled in, and then maybe grab drinks with friends later on. Hosting parties at our apartment is basically out of the question right now anyway; we have neighbors who are as annoying as they come.😁
My daughter recently had a birthday party with five friends from 5 PM to 9 PM over the weekend, and this neighbor actually had the nerve to come banging on the door, screaming about us "jumping around" the apartment.🤣
Felicity was lucky she didn't hear it. My husband took one listen to her and sent her on her way—he's a calm guy, so he didn't feel the need to get into a massive argument. Though, frankly, I have no idea what I would have said to her if she'd tried to lecture me personally.😁

It’s just incredibly irritating when people start lecturing me with that "this is how it's done" or "how can you think that" attitude. It’s the same loop every single time—it happened with the wedding (since we didn't do the whole classic thing), it's happening with the baptism (since there won't be one), and so on. I don't see why anyone has an opinion on our business other than us. It’s not like we’re living in some dystopian dictatorship where everything is MANDATORY. It isn't.😁

As for the weight gain... yikes.😁
I was at the OBGYN yesterday and they put me on the scale; I nearly fell off from the sheer shock. I'm not telling anyone how much I've gained.🤣
I think when they inevitably ask (and they ask CONSTANTLY), I'll just tell them to mind their own business. They can check back in with me once I've fully developed a double chin.😁

I told my dad straight up that we aren't baptizing the baby, and his response was basically, "Don't do this to me!" Like, I'm not doing it *to* you. It's my kid, my call. He should probably want her baptized for his own sake, not because of what the neighbors think...

placidtinker31 said:🤣

I always tell everyone exactly how many pounds I’ve put on.
If anyone actually cares, I can give you my numbers too. 😁

It doesn't really matter anyway. In a year, they'll just be telling me how pathetic I look, how I barely eat anything, and how my kids have completely worn me out... 🙄

I always start at 115, and then the second I gain five pounds, suddenly I'm "filling out."
Meanwhile, the women who start at 155 act like they've lost a massive amount of weight when they barely change at all... 🤦

Honestly, people will always have something to say. No matter what you look like or what you do... just stick it in your ear and keep moving. 🙂

That is honestly one of the most stinging comments you can get. I feel my stomach growing, and then people hit me with that, "Oh, you've gotten a little rounder," or whatever... Like, excuse me? What is a pregnancy belly supposed to look like if not round?🤷 🤣

Justin Allen81 said:I found some weird comfort in what a friend told my husband—she mentioned how much weight she gained because she was basically skin and bones just three or four months after giving birth. Now, I’m just calculating exactly how many pounds I can pack on before I hit her level.😁

If she could drop it that fast, I should be able to too... theoretically... assuming I stop baking cookies every single day.🤣

Honestly, sweets aren't usually my main obsession—I eat them occasionally and call it a day—but during pregnancy? First time or this time around, it doesn't matter; I'd happily move into a bakery if they'd let me. I don't know what takes hold of me, but I am constantly craving pastries and cakes. Even this morning, in that half-asleep state where you haven't fully woken up yet but you remember everything from your dreams... I was dreaming about making a chocolate raspberry cake. I was actually mentally drafting a grocery list of ingredients for it. I woke up and spent at least another thirty minutes just debating whether I actually wanted it or not.🕺

From now on, I’m sending my husband to the store. I won't go myself, even if someone offered to pay me—I’d just end up walking out with a mountain of chocolate.🕺

That's exactly why we vent here—so we don't have to bother people in real life.😁

🤣

I'm right there with you—donuts, late-night bread rolls around midnight, and then 😲 when I step on the scale, I'm just staring at it thinking, how is this even possible? 😬

Honestly, things have been so much easier since I stopped buying and making sweets. Out of sight, out of mind—and out of the waistline.🙄

Justin Allen81 said:I found some weird comfort in what a friend told my husband—she mentioned how much weight she gained because she was basically skin and bones just three or four months after giving birth. Now, I’m just calculating exactly how many pounds I can pack on before I hit her level.😁

If she could drop it that fast, I should be able to too... theoretically... assuming I stop baking cookies every single day.🤣

Honestly, sweets aren't usually my main obsession—I eat them occasionally and call it a day—but during pregnancy? First time or this time around, it doesn't matter; I'd happily move into a bakery if they'd let me. I don't know what takes hold of me, but I am constantly craving pastries and cakes. Even this morning, in that half-asleep state where you haven't fully woken up yet but you remember everything from your dreams... I was dreaming about making a chocolate raspberry cake. I was actually mentally drafting a grocery list of ingredients for it. I woke up and spent at least another thirty minutes just debating whether I actually wanted it or not.🕺

From now on, I’m sending my husband to the store. I won't go myself, even if someone offered to pay me—I’d just end up walking out with a mountain of chocolate.🕺

That's exactly why we vent here—so we don't have to bother people in real life.😁

That’s exactly why I came here to vent, too. 😁 🤣