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What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Started by feralpanther11 · · 👁 146 views · 6.2K replies

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Sarah Morris57 Sarah Morris57 Active Member
57 messages
joined Jan 2013
#5521 ·
It feels like every single time I turn around, someone’s asking if I’m scared of giving birth—and if I’m lucky, they immediately launch into a long-winded saga about their own labor experience or some horror story they heard from a friend at brunch.

Honestly? Giving birth isn't even my main concern! When I look at kids and parents out in the world, I'm way more stressed about the "terrible twos" phase, the whole school transition, the constant pressure to compare kids (and it's not just about money!), school violence, and then puberty... oh man, puberty. I was looking at these girls today attending their sister's First Communion, and they looked like they just rolled straight out of a club downtown—I mean, seriously, tiny little things dressed up in these ridiculous 6-inch heels and enough makeup to cover a house, when you can tell by their faces they're barely even in middle school yet. Plus there's a million other things...

As for the actual delivery... yeah, it’s probably not going to be a walk in the park. It’ll likely be awkward, painful, and messy afterward, sure, but at least it has a beginning and an end! It's a defined event, unlike everything else that follows, and once it's over, I'll be way too busy running around with a newborn to dwell on it.

We wanted a baby, and we're all going to navigate this wild ride together—the pregnancy, the birth, and the chaos after—but honestly, the actual birth feels like such a tiny slice of the whole journey. It's just funny how much some older ladies seem to love nothing more than trying to scare us half to death...
mistyskipper54 mistyskipper54 Newcomer
3 messages
joined May 2015
#5522 ·
I’m only about nine weeks along, but I am already incredibly triggered by how everyone keeps asking why I look so thin. It’s like they think I’m intentionally starving myself or trying to hurt my baby—which couldn't be further from the truth. I’ve dealt with brutal morning sickness and a super stressful start to this pregnancy; I even ended up in the ER on an IV twice because of it. Honestly, people, just back off! It’s exhausting because I already feel so weak, and your judgmental stares are just making everything ten times harder for me.
Edit: Feeling a little better now that I’ve had a chance to vent here.

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Chloe Roberts2 Chloe Roberts2 Active Member
75 messages
joined Apr 2015
#5523 ·
Next time you find yourself pregnant, honestly, just keep your mouth shut until you hit that twelve-week mark. It’s really just between you and your husband, and everyone else can spend the rest of the pregnancy assuming you’ve just been hitting the bakery or enjoying too many slices of bacon too often.
mistyskipper54 mistyskipper54 Newcomer
3 messages
joined May 2015
#5524 ·
I had to be upfront with my boss because I was put on strict bed rest, and honestly, things started getting complicated. I didn't really have any other choice. But now that I’m finally back at work? Total nervous breakdown.

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Justin Rivera17 Justin Rivera17 Member
28 messages
joined Mar 2010
#5525 ·
luxemburg - that’s exactly what this thread is for. :-)

Look, if you ask me, you should start practicing—specifically, how to handle people being condescending. The next time someone tries to lecture you or act like they know better, just hit them with a calm, deadpan: "So what?" or "Hey, we're all different, right?" Honestly, I just want to actually enjoy my food without feeling like I'm gonna barf... luckily, everyone's wired differently, I guess...

Just try to stick to healthy, varied meals. I know it feels like a massive uphill battle right now, but seriously, the nausea will pass.

A buddy of mine told me the other day that I look great, but then he totally panicked, thinking I was about to blow up because I started looking like a complete wreck for a minute there... This same genius told his wife he doesn't get why they're even deciding on the baby's name together—he claims when *he* has kids, *he's* the one picking the names, because that's just how it's done in The Family.

Honestly, I have no idea how he's still single, especially with an attitude like that.
Sarah Morris57 Sarah Morris57 Active Member
57 messages
joined Jan 2013
#5526 ·
Justin Rivera17 said:luxemburg - that’s exactly what this thread is for. :-)

Look, if you ask me, you should start practicing—specifically, how to handle people being condescending. The next time someone tries to lecture you or act like they know better, just hit them with a calm, deadpan: "So what?" or "Hey, we're all different, right?" Honestly, I just want to actually enjoy my food without feeling like I'm gonna barf... luckily, everyone's wired differently, I guess...

Just try to stick to healthy, varied meals. I know it feels like a massive uphill battle right now, but seriously, the nausea will pass.

A buddy of mine told me the other day that I look great, but then he totally panicked, thinking I was about to blow up because I started looking like a complete wreck for a minute there... This same genius told his wife he doesn't get why they're even deciding on the baby's name together—he claims when *he* has kids, *he's* the one picking the names, because that's just how it's done in The Family.

Honestly, I have no idea how he's still single, especially with an attitude like that.

Ugh, whatever, that trick didn't even work with my family when we were talking about other stuff.
With the really stubborn ones, I just cut them off—I tell them straight up that it's none of their business or that I don't want to hear it because I didn't ask for their opinion!

And now, with all these ridiculous horror stories people are telling about giving birth... I've decided I'm going to be super direct, even if it comes off as rude. Honestly, I'm just over it! It's better if they get worked up instead of me—and I'm the one who's pregnant and wasn't even the one bringing this stuff up in the first place!

Today, I actually had to scrub a post from my own husband's Meta wall... he posted something about how organs shift around during pregnancy.
I know he meant well—he just finds that kind of stuff fascinating—but I really don't care about that right now, and more importantly, I don't want to encourage anyone else. If they see he can post it, they'll think they can too!
So, let them see that even he gets the delete button... maybe then they'll realize their posts will get nuked too if they try it. 🤣
Jonathan Cox4 Jonathan Cox4 Member
22 messages
joined Apr 2008
#5527 ·
The best way to strike back is with irony. 🥳
Jose Diaz3 Jose Diaz3 Member
28 messages
joined Feb 2010
#5528 ·
I don't give those kinds of nonsense even half a damn.

People always act like they're experts on everything in life, constantly trying to push their views on you. I listen to it all, mostly because watching everyone play genius is fascinating. You have someone whose kid was born, and two months later they’re already a specialist—telling you which hospital to use, how to handle labor, how to feed the baby... I just listen and filter. Out of a hundred stupid things you hear, you might find one smart one. 😬

Why bother? Just do your own thing. Let the "intellectuals" keep being smart. As they say: everyone is entitled to their opinion. 🥳
Sarah Morris57 Sarah Morris57 Active Member
57 messages
joined Jan 2013
#5529 ·
Ugh, honestly, I just can't be bothered to sit through that—I’ve got way more important things to do with my life, even if that just means sitting on the couch watching my cats try to hunt flies...
Justin Rivera17 Justin Rivera17 Member
28 messages
joined Mar 2010
#5530 ·
Ugh, okay, so my partner—who was acting all high-strung and extra the other day—actually told me he’s coming to my final prenatal appointment with me. And get this: he wants to have a "little chat" with the OBGYN to make sure she doesn't even *think* about using vacuum extraction or forceps on me.

Then there's this lady at work—total loose cannon, honestly—who's been a mom for basically a century, and she was just sitting there giving him this unsolicited, "helpful" play-by-play of all the horrors from her own delivery, including the whole vacuum thing.

I swear, I just don't get women sometimes—at least when it comes to this stuff. Like, why on earth would you describe every single traumatic detail of your birth to someone who hasn't even gone through it yet? I haven't met a single woman who gave me a straight, no-nonsense list of actual things I should watch out for—like, "I didn't know this specific thing, but hey, go ask your doctor." Instead, everyone just loves to recount their own birthing nightmares, usually while making sure to emphasize how they "survived it all" without any epidural or anything.

Great. Just great.
Sarah Morris57 Sarah Morris57 Active Member
57 messages
joined Jan 2013
#5531 ·
Men, sometimes they really do turn into total girlies—honestly, even Sarah Morris57 knows more about her coworkers' pregnancies than I do at this point! But hey, they actually drop some pretty solid advice every now and then, and you can definitely find some useful gems in the chatter. 🤣

He’s been clued in for a long time now that he shouldn't be blabbing about stuff he wouldn't say himself if the roles were reversed, and from what I can tell, he's playing it safe...
If I ever catch him letting his mouth run too far, let me tell you, he'll be wishing he was back in labor instead of having a relaxing Sunday off! 🙂
Jonathan Patel42 Jonathan Patel42 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Jun 2015
#5532 ·
If there is one person on this planet capable of getting under my skin, it’s definitely my mother (I should mention I’m currently in my ninth month of pregnancy, having gained about 24 pounds, though honestly, I feel pretty good about how I look right now)

So, I am deep into this pregnancy—only about two and a half weeks left until my due date—and she comes up to me with this incredibly "important" observation, which, if I’m being honest, isn't even the first time she’s dropped these little nuggets of nonsense on me. She just looks at me and says, "You really ought to go out and buy more clothes, just so you actually have something to wear once you get fat!"

Then there was this other instance recently; she had bought some peanuts, and I decided to grab just a small handful to snack on because, truthfully, I hadn't craved peanuts in ages and they just sounded so good in that moment. And wouldn't you know it? Right as I'm eating, she chimes in with, "Well, don't eat those, they'll make you gain weight!" (As if I hadn't already done the math on that one myself)
Jonathan Patel42 Jonathan Patel42 Newcomer
4 messages
joined Jun 2015
#5533 ·
So, ladies, I was wondering if anyone else deals with this little quirk of mine. I actually still have these pair of jeans sitting in my closet that are right at the limit of fitting, but they aren't even maternity jeans—they’re just regular ones. And honestly, I can still pull them on without feeling any squeeze at all. Now, you might be thinking, "Wow, she’s so lucky to have kept her figure," but that isn't really the story here. It turns out my mother bought them for me, maybe two or three sizes up from what I usually wear, back from a time before I was pregnant. She does this quite often, actually; she buys me so many things that are significantly larger than what she wears herself. I mean, hello? It makes me look like I’m drowning in fabric, but in her mind, she thinks it’s perfectly fine.........

The other day, a woman approached me to ask when my due date was and if I was still working. I told her that I had actually stopped working—since she knows how much my job demands of me—and then she hit me with this comment. She looked to be about 45 or 46, and she said, "You know, back in our day, we worked right up until the very moment we went into labor!"
I honestly can't help but think about how incredibly difficult things must have been back then.................
And strangely enough, I haven't heard a single mindless or insensitive comment from a man yet; it seems to be almost exclusively the women who say these things...
Rebecca Clark6 Rebecca Clark6 Member
15 messages
joined Mar 2023
#5534 ·
amoralka;54404357 said:Ladies, I honestly don't know if anyone else deals with this, but I still have these pair of jeans that are right at my limit, though they aren't maternity clothes, and I can actually still pull them on without feeling squeezed. You might think, wow, she's so lucky, but it isn't about my weight at all; my mom bought them for me a few sizes up back when I wasn't pregnant, and she does this with almost everything she gets me, buying things way larger than what she wears herself, which honestly just makes me look like I'm drowning in fabric, but she seems convinced it’s perfectly fine.........]

The other day some woman asked me when my due date was and if I was still working, and when I told her I had already stepped away from my job—since she knows what kind of career I have—she looked at me, and she's probably in her mid-forties, and said, "You know, in our day, we worked right up until the very end!"
I can't even imagine how much tougher things were back then..................
Honestly, I haven't heard a single mindless comment from a man yet, it’s mostly been other women

Oh, absolutely.... It's exactly like that. I ended up gaining about 24 pounds total during my pregnancy, and one of the sillier questions I got asked—and this was toward the very end, maybe twenty days before I gave birth—was "where is your bump?" and I just wanted to tell her I left it at home while I went out for a little walk.
Sarah Morris57 Sarah Morris57 Active Member
57 messages
joined Jan 2013
#5535 ·
Jonathan Patel42 said:So, ladies, I was wondering if anyone else deals with this little quirk of mine. I actually still have these pair of jeans sitting in my closet that are right at the limit of fitting, but they aren't even maternity jeans—they’re just regular ones. And honestly, I can still pull them on without feeling any squeeze at all. Now, you might be thinking, "Wow, she’s so lucky to have kept her figure," but that isn't really the story here. It turns out my mother bought them for me, maybe two or three sizes up from what I usually wear, back from a time before I was pregnant. She does this quite often, actually; she buys me so many things that are significantly larger than what she wears herself. I mean, hello? It makes me look like I’m drowning in fabric, but in her mind, she thinks it’s perfectly fine.........

The other day, a woman approached me to ask when my due date was and if I was still working. I told her that I had actually stopped working—since she knows how much my job demands of me—and then she hit me with this comment. She looked to be about 45 or 46, and she said, "You know, back in our day, we worked right up until the very moment we went into labor!"
I honestly can't help but think about how incredibly difficult things must have been back then.................
And strangely enough, I haven't heard a single mindless or insensitive comment from a man yet; it seems to be almost exclusively the women who say these things...

They’re all just sitting there assuming they'll get shut down, so they don't even dare to open their mouths. 😬
If only ladies were actually that bold for once, right? 😁
mistyskipper54 mistyskipper54 Newcomer
3 messages
joined May 2015
#5536 ·
Honestly, if anyone else asks me why I’m so skinny, I’m just going to tell them I made up the whole pregnancy thing because I was bored

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Michael Jackson64 Michael Jackson64 Newcomer
9 messages
joined Jun 2015
#5537 ·
Ladies, I’ve gotta say, I have massive respect for you guys.
mellowcobra82 mellowcobra82 Member
30 messages
joined Apr 2013
#5538 ·
If one more person asks me: "How's the pregnancy going?", I think I might actually snap. 🙂

It’s beyond irritating at this point. I can't even wrap my head around why people keep asking it! Fine, if someone hasn't seen me in ages and doesn't realize I'm pregnant, sure... But take my father-in-law, for example. We aren't exactly best friends, but we're on speaking terms and run into each other around town. Every single time he's seen me over the last six months, he hits me with the exact same question: "So, how are you handling the pregnancy?" 🙂 Seriously, are there no other questions in the English language? Try: "How are you feeling?", "How's the baby?", or "Is work getting too exhausting?" etc., etc. Honestly, if you don't have anything useful to say, just stay quiet instead of drilling me with the same repetitive nonsense fifty times! Elvis! What's the move here? I give him the same answer every single time: "I'm great, no issues at all, haven't had any since day one." And then, get this—I'm about twenty days away from giving birth, and yesterday he goes: "Well, you're certainly handling the pregnancy well, huh?" 😱

Or when my brother-in-law told me the other day: "Wow, you've really grown a belly; looks bigger than when we saw you last month." No, Sherlock, I'm due in a couple of weeks—I'll just pull the baby out of a magic hat. ☕ Are all men this clueless, or is it just the family from MM?
ambercobra19 ambercobra19 Newcomer
2 messages
joined Jun 2015
#5539 ·
mellowcobra82 said:If one more person asks me: "How's the pregnancy going?", I think I might actually snap. 🙂

It’s beyond irritating at this point. I can't even wrap my head around why people keep asking it! Fine, if someone hasn't seen me in ages and doesn't realize I'm pregnant, sure... But take my father-in-law, for example. We aren't exactly best friends, but we're on speaking terms and run into each other around town. Every single time he's seen me over the last six months, he hits me with the exact same question: "So, how are you handling the pregnancy?" 🙂 Seriously, are there no other questions in the English language? Try: "How are you feeling?", "How's the baby?", or "Is work getting too exhausting?" etc., etc. Honestly, if you don't have anything useful to say, just stay quiet instead of drilling me with the same repetitive nonsense fifty times! Elvis! What's the move here? I give him the same answer every single time: "I'm great, no issues at all, haven't had any since day one." And then, get this—I'm about twenty days away from giving birth, and yesterday he goes: "Well, you're certainly handling the pregnancy well, huh?" 😱

Or when my brother-in-law told me the other day: "Wow, you've really grown a belly; looks bigger than when we saw you last month." No, Sherlock, I'm due in a couple of weeks—I'll just pull the baby out of a magic hat. ☕ Are all men this clueless, or is it just the family from MM?

The absolute worst is when they go: "Eee, yeah, I can tell you're pregnant," or: "Man, you've really put on some weight," or: "Whoa, look at that bump!" And I'm only 5 months along. What happens when I hit month 9??? Might as well lock all pregnant women in their houses until they give birth! People are seriously idiots. Plus, my hormones are basically set to "aggressive"—I feel like picking a fight with everyone. Sometimes I legit want to throw hands 🙂
placidtinker31 placidtinker31 Member
15 messages
joined Apr 2008
#5540 ·
🤣
I’m still not sure if I’ve just become numb to these kinds of questions or what. I suppose it depends on the day and whatever mood people are in...
You look fine to me, honestly 🤦
Your face looks a little fuller 🙄
Back during my first pregnancy, my sister actually had the nerve to ask if I could suck in my stomach.
She gave birth a year ago and she still can't pull it in. I’m starting to think most people don't even care anymore

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