What were your biggest pregnancy surprises and pet peeves?

Bryan Diaz said:Honestly, that really gets under my skin too—the implication that you can somehow "stock up" on sleep beforehand. It’s just not how it works.

That's just not true, though. I've mentioned this on the forums before; my sister actually ended up missing out on those tiny little outfits because she listened to everyone else. She simply couldn't keep up with the laundry and drying. It might be true that babies don't wear certain sizes for very long, but you still need plenty of pieces because of constant changes and washing. And you certainly don't get those newborn-sized items handed to you during the initial visit period.

So I'm walking out of the grocery store and run into this girl from my high school days. Haven't seen her in what, like 14 years? 😲
Basically, she looks me dead in the stomach and the first thing out of her mouth is: "Aaaah, better get all that sleep in while you still can."
No "how are you," no nothing. Just that.
I was like, fine, I'll just head home, pass out for like two and a half months, and then I'll be totally caught up on sleep until my kid turns 18. ☕

granitewolf20 said:And another one for the pile: 😂

"What's the point of buying all that? The kid will outgrow it in a week, and you won't even have time to do the laundry anyway..."
"Why bother? You know how much free stuff you'll get once the baby arrives, right?" etc., etc.

Yeah, sure. Like I'm expecting someone to drop off size 2-month-old outfits during those first few weeks. Honestly, I'm barely planning on letting anyone through my front door for the first month anyway. ☕

👍
NOT ME!!! Honestly, my priority is the baby's health because I don't want every random relative breathing down her neck, and also just out of pure spite for certain family members who literally didn't bother to check in on me ONCE during my entire pregnancy! They didn't even ask if the baby was okay. So yeah :2up: absolutely no unannounced visits! Leave whatever you've got at the front door! 😬

Douglas Booth22 said:Or when they start playing favorites among the grandkids. 👎 Pure primitivism. 😠

When my mom had me, I was the first grandchild! And my grandpa just looks at her and goes, "Eh, whatever... you'll have another boy soon enough!" 😲
So, because of how things played out, I ended up being an only child, but she’s got two other grandkids now—my dad's nephews, little guys. To this day, she’s constantly updating their photos on her shelves, while my only photo there is some ancient shot from back in the seventies! 🤣

Harold Cook2 said:Oh, great... lucky you. Mine complains about every single thing, and we have to shut up about what we're buying because she acts like she's being inconvenienced. She claims if it isn't "essential," it's a waste since the baby grows out of it so fast—so we should just borrow stuff from someone else. Borrow from who? Spend money like I'm some broke college kid wandering around Target? 😠 Honestly, she's a total piece of work. When we bought the crib, she was like, "Why did you spend so much on that?" (the crib was like $367 bucks), saying you can find them everywhere $167 even with a mattress included. But where exactly? And what kind? I ask, and of course, she doesn't have an answer since they don't exist. Then when we got the dresser and other gear, she goes, "Oh, I was actually thinking of buying that for you..." 😛 Sure you were, lady, but you didn't say a word about needing anything else before we bought it! Like, if you wanted to help, you should've spoken up. Remember when Walmart had that big sale on baby stuff? I was there first thing in the morning grabbing onesies, socks, and little outfits. Then she goes to Walmart later and asks if I need anything, I say no because I already went, and then she's like, "Well, I really wanted to get those onesies." And then she starts talking about how cute the little shorts and pajamas are, but then says, "Well, since you already got them, I guess there won't be any other occasion." Give me a break. If you wanted to buy something, you could've picked out a pajama set or something I missed... good grief. Seriously... I'm getting more fed up by the day. Best bet is to just buy it, keep our mouths shut, and tell nobody a damn thing.

my mother-in-law LOVES cheap stuff. I don't care about things being expensive, but damn it, I care about them being cotton for the baby! there is absolutely no debate there. and I have this gut feeling (since she buys everything at Dollar Tree) that she's gonna try to buy everything there. it's already pissing me off, but I'll just stash my own stuff on the side and give her a polite thank you. maybe she'll realize it when she burns through all her cash and the kid isn't wearing a single thing she bought... 🤷
and toys... same thing, I told her I'm not touching that crap from the discount stores that gets recalled every single week because of being dangerous or whatever... I'd rather have one high-quality toy when needed than a mountain of junk! I played with Legos my whole life and yeah, they aren't cheap, but whatever! at least the kid turns out more normal than playing with those cheap plastic Chinese hammers! 👍

Edward Rodriguez4 said:my mother-in-law LOVES cheap stuff. I don't care about things being expensive, but damn it, I care about them being cotton for the baby! there is absolutely no debate there. and I have this gut feeling (since she buys everything at Dollar Tree) that she's gonna try to buy everything there. it's already pissing me off, but I'll just stash my own stuff on the side and give her a polite thank you. maybe she'll realize it when she burns through all her cash and the kid isn't wearing a single thing she bought... 🤷
and toys... same thing, I told her I'm not touching that crap from the discount stores that gets recalled every single week because of being dangerous or whatever... I'd rather have one high-quality toy when needed than a mountain of junk! I played with Legos my whole life and yeah, they aren't cheap, but whatever! at least the kid turns out more normal than playing with those cheap plastic Chinese hammers! 👍

I definitely see where you're coming from with your post, but I feel like I have to weigh in on this.

Unfortunately, whether it's toys, household goods, or pretty much anything else, most stuff in any store these days is made in China or Vietnam, simply because that's where the factories are located to take advantage of cheaper labor. I totally get that we all want the absolute best for our kids—and believe me, I'm the same way—but it honestly felt a bit disheartening when I was at Target or similar stores that pretend to be mid-range quality, only to find a hat labeled Made in China that arrived $13, while the exact same thing I found at a discount shop for 20 😲 was just a total horror!

I’ve been telling my mom that starting this month, I’m going to slowly start saving up and buying
baby gear. Up until now, I haven't bought a single thing,
but she keeps insisting it’s way too early—that I should just wait and see what gifts I actually end up getting. 🙄
My due date is in April, and I really don't think I’ll feel up to wandering around
Target or Walmart when I'm eight months pregnant, trying to hunt down everything on my list.
Even if I only pick up two items a month, it doesn't matter; the main goal is just making sure I
have some things ready at home. Right now, I just feel irresponsible because I'm not prepping for the baby yet.
Now, a friend did promise me some hand-me-downs from her little one, but I don't feel like my child
is somehow less important just because they'd be wearing used clothes.
I WANT TO GO SHOPPING MYSELF AND BUY EXACTLY WHAT I LIKE!!!

Anyway, sorry, I needed to vent a little bit.

Edward Rodriguez4 said:👍
NOT ME!!! Honestly, my priority is the baby's health because I don't want every random relative breathing down her neck, and also just out of pure spite for certain family members who literally didn't bother to check in on me ONCE during my entire pregnancy! They didn't even ask if the baby was okay. So yeah :2up: absolutely no unannounced visits! Leave whatever you've got at the front door! 😬

1. Amen to that!!! I feel exactly the same way. At least for those first few weeks. I really don't get people who feel the need to go overboard kissing a tiny newborn before their immune system even has a chance to kick in. 😠

2. This is that whole "get all the sleep you can now" type of advice... 🙄

3. And what am I supposed to do about the cats? Absolutely nothing. They’re staying right where they are, because honestly, they’re a hundred times cleaner and healthier than some people I know.

Linda Ward312 said:1. Amen to that!!! I feel exactly the same way. At least for those first few weeks. I really don't get people who feel the need to go overboard kissing a tiny newborn before their immune system even has a chance to kick in. 😠

2. This is that whole "get all the sleep you can now" type of advice... 🙄

3. And what am I supposed to do about the cats? Absolutely nothing. They’re staying right where they are, because honestly, they’re a hundred times cleaner and healthier than some people I know.

I'm definitely not looking to host visitors anytime soon either.
I plan on staying pretty isolated (mostly because of the physical recovery) for as long as it takes to actually feel human again.
I won't be seeing anyone
except maybe my mom, if I need an extra hand. 😉

Ugh, my sister is seriously driving me up the wall... I honestly can’t believe how dense she is, though actually, maybe it’s not her being stupid, it’s just me for letting her get away with this stuff. Anyway, she’s pregnant—which, let’s be real, basically everyone is for those nine months—and during this whole stretch, she went out and bought these fake little baby tights for $4.00... unbelievable... seriously... total trash. Then last week she calls me up asking if we can lend her $100 because she apparently got a lien put on her house over some unpaid Avon bill! And of course, this triggered this massive blowout between me and my husband because, surprise surprise, she blew all the money she got from her girlfriends and now she's broke and expects us to bail her out, even though I don't need the cash... it feels dirty or something, you know? Plus, I don't need to buy anything for the baby yet; things just kind of show up when they need to, or am I supposed to just wait until the baby arrives and then what? 🤷 Wrap the kid in a bedsheet?? 😠 And look, it wouldn't even be such a huge deal if she hadn't sat there at my in-laws' place on Sunday bragging about how her hair stylist is coming over on Wednesday to cut and color her hair. My mind immediately went to "oh, she's using my money for that," obviously. So I bring it up to my husband later and he, the idiot, goes, "Who cares what she spends it on, she said she'll pay it back by the end of the month." He's said that a hundred times before and it never happens, but there I am, getting worked up and looking like a fool again. Then, get this, she calls me yesterday morning to say she gave birth (four days early!) and asks if I can lend her diapers and some other supplies because she "didn't have time" to go shopping. Well, newsflash: I won't need anything until the baby is three months old, so she can just give them back to me when I actually need them, right? Eeeeeeeeeeee, I finally just snapped. This is my first baby and I want everything to be brand new for him, especially cloth diapers... I don't want someone handing me back used crap. Everything I've bought, I picked out with so much love and care for my little guy. Then last night my husband talks to her and she tells him that I told her I'd bring the stuff over, so he passes the message along to me. And I'm like, seriously? Am I some kind of joke or is it written on my forehead? Did she really not realize she was pregnant for these nine months? Or that she actually needs stuff for a baby? And he's just like, "I don't know, what did you two agree on?" I told him I should just call 988 and talk to a professional about this mess. I mean, seriously... so I finally just lost it and told him, fine, I'll go buy the diapers, but she can forget about anything else. And those $100 for under the baby's head? Forget it. I am so done with everyone pulling my leg from every single direction. On top of that, I'm such an idiot asking my niece a few days ago if I could have her stroller since the little one hasn't slept in it for two months, simply because my sister isn't capable of buying one herself! But she has money for everything else—makeup, hair, clothes, whatever—but for the baby? Nothing. Well, guess what, I don't have it either, and even if I did, I'm not giving it. Not to mention his parents are the exact same way. Like I'm some kind of Federal Reserve where anyone can just take whatever they need. Well, here's a tip for all of you: :2up: I am officially done letting people screw with my head.

Noah Ramirez7 said:Ugh, my sister is seriously driving me up the wall... I honestly can’t believe how dense she is, though actually, maybe it’s not her being stupid, it’s just me for letting her get away with this stuff. Anyway, she’s pregnant—which, let’s be real, basically everyone is for those nine months—and during this whole stretch, she went out and bought these fake little baby tights for $4.00... unbelievable... seriously... total trash. Then last week she calls me up asking if we can lend her $100 because she apparently got a lien put on her house over some unpaid Avon bill! And of course, this triggered this massive blowout between me and my husband because, surprise surprise, she blew all the money she got from her girlfriends and now she's broke and expects us to bail her out, even though I don't need the cash... it feels dirty or something, you know? Plus, I don't need to buy anything for the baby yet; things just kind of show up when they need to, or am I supposed to just wait until the baby arrives and then what? 🤷 Wrap the kid in a bedsheet?? 😠 And look, it wouldn't even be such a huge deal if she hadn't sat there at my in-laws' place on Sunday bragging about how her hair stylist is coming over on Wednesday to cut and color her hair. My mind immediately went to "oh, she's using my money for that," obviously. So I bring it up to my husband later and he, the idiot, goes, "Who cares what she spends it on, she said she'll pay it back by the end of the month." He's said that a hundred times before and it never happens, but there I am, getting worked up and looking like a fool again. Then, get this, she calls me yesterday morning to say she gave birth (four days early!) and asks if I can lend her diapers and some other supplies because she "didn't have time" to go shopping. Well, newsflash: I won't need anything until the baby is three months old, so she can just give them back to me when I actually need them, right? Eeeeeeeeeeee, I finally just snapped. This is my first baby and I want everything to be brand new for him, especially cloth diapers... I don't want someone handing me back used crap. Everything I've bought, I picked out with so much love and care for my little guy. Then last night my husband talks to her and she tells him that I told her I'd bring the stuff over, so he passes the message along to me. And I'm like, seriously? Am I some kind of joke or is it written on my forehead? Did she really not realize she was pregnant for these nine months? Or that she actually needs stuff for a baby? And he's just like, "I don't know, what did you two agree on?" I told him I should just call 988 and talk to a professional about this mess. I mean, seriously... so I finally just lost it and told him, fine, I'll go buy the diapers, but she can forget about anything else. And those $100 for under the baby's head? Forget it. I am so done with everyone pulling my leg from every single direction. On top of that, I'm such an idiot asking my niece a few days ago if I could have her stroller since the little one hasn't slept in it for two months, simply because my sister isn't capable of buying one herself! But she has money for everything else—makeup, hair, clothes, whatever—but for the baby? Nothing. Well, guess what, I don't have it either, and even if I did, I'm not giving it. Not to mention his parents are the exact same way. Like I'm some kind of Federal Reserve where anyone can just take whatever they need. Well, here's a tip for all of you: :2up: I am officially done letting people screw with my head.

I have absolutely nothing to say to that... I just can't stand these "family martyrs" who act like they're constantly struggling and always need a handout, even though their houses are perfectly fine and they have plenty of cash to burn. It’s always the same old line: "Oh, you guys have it easy, things are simple for you." Meanwhile, we've been pinching every single penny from the very first day we started saving together as a couple.🙄 ☕

katjes said:I honestly don't buy this whole story for a second, though I guess it’s a decent little distraction if you're just sitting there sipping some coffee.☕

Trust me, there is way more to the story than what you see here... seriously, if you actually started telling everything from the very beginning, you could probably write a full-blown bestseller about it. And don't even get me started on my in-laws, who have been constantly bickering and complaining to the neighbors for three whole decades now, and lately they've actually had the nerve to try and squeeze money out of us for their ridiculous nonsense... well, I am officially done with that. I told them straight up that from now on, I'm spending my money on whatever I want—whether I need it or not—so that my husband won't have anything left to hand over to them, since he clearly doesn't know how to just say "no" when it counts.

Linda Ward312 said:1. Amen to that!!! I feel exactly the same way. At least for those first few weeks. I really don't get people who feel the need to go overboard kissing a tiny newborn before their immune system even has a chance to kick in. 😠

2. This is that whole "get all the sleep you can now" type of advice... 🙄

3. And what am I supposed to do about the cats? Absolutely nothing. They’re staying right where they are, because honestly, they’re a hundred times cleaner and healthier than some people I know.

Right? It’s almost funny, because it's not like I'm some kind of programmed machine that can just switch off whenever someone suggests it... I was actually complaining about my insomnia recently, and this exact same "advice" was thrown at me... which is a bit silly considering this is my second child, so I think I have a pretty decent idea of what that "later" part actually looks like.🙄
Even back when I was at the hospital in Chicago right after having my first little one, people were giving me that same look and saying things like, "Why are you still up? You should sleep while you get the chance."🙄 Well, I'm heading home tomorrow, and it looks like I'll be dropping him off at my mom's house for a nap tomorrow, so it'll probably just be another day of running up and down the stairs... it's all pretty much the same thing, I guess.🙄 ☕

Kimmy, I wouldn't give her a single stitch of my clothes, period. You’ve been complaining about her forever, so honestly, what did she expect? The absolute most she could do is hand over those $100 for the baby shower and grab a box of Pampers.
As for the cloth diapers? No way in hell am I giving those to anyone. Sorry, not sorry, but that’s just gross to me...

And this whole thing about sleeping poorly? Please. Every single person who has ever stayed at my place, or even just run into me at the grocery store or caught me on the phone, has told me the exact same thing.
For crying out loud, can you guys come up with something else to talk about for once? 😲

I went for a twenty-minute walk yesterday and my limbs feel twice their normal size due to the swelling.😢
My husband actually had to help me take my purse off my shoulder and get my wallet out because I have zero sensation in my hands.
I keep waking up in the middle of the night because my fingers are tingling; even right now, my right hand is completely numb.😢

Does anyone know where I can find some birch tea?

Morgan Evans3 said:I went for a twenty-minute walk yesterday and my limbs feel twice their normal size due to the swelling.😢
My husband actually had to help me take my purse off my shoulder and get my wallet out because I have zero sensation in my hands.
I keep waking up in the middle of the night because my fingers are tingling; even right now, my right hand is completely numb.😢

Does anyone know where I can find some birch tea?

Maybe at a health food store? Or CVS? 🤷

Noah Ramirez7 said:Ugh, my sister is seriously driving me up the wall... I honestly can’t believe how dense she is, though actually, maybe it’s not her being stupid, it’s just me for letting her get away with this stuff. Anyway, she’s pregnant—which, let’s be real, basically everyone is for those nine months—and during this whole stretch, she went out and bought these fake little baby tights for $4.00... unbelievable... seriously... total trash. Then last week she calls me up asking if we can lend her $100 because she apparently got a lien put on her house over some unpaid Avon bill! And of course, this triggered this massive blowout between me and my husband because, surprise surprise, she blew all the money she got from her girlfriends and now she's broke and expects us to bail her out, even though I don't need the cash... it feels dirty or something, you know? Plus, I don't need to buy anything for the baby yet; things just kind of show up when they need to, or am I supposed to just wait until the baby arrives and then what? 🤷 Wrap the kid in a bedsheet?? 😠 And look, it wouldn't even be such a huge deal if she hadn't sat there at my in-laws' place on Sunday bragging about how her hair stylist is coming over on Wednesday to cut and color her hair. My mind immediately went to "oh, she's using my money for that," obviously. So I bring it up to my husband later and he, the idiot, goes, "Who cares what she spends it on, she said she'll pay it back by the end of the month." He's said that a hundred times before and it never happens, but there I am, getting worked up and looking like a fool again. Then, get this, she calls me yesterday morning to say she gave birth (four days early!) and asks if I can lend her diapers and some other supplies because she "didn't have time" to go shopping. Well, newsflash: I won't need anything until the baby is three months old, so she can just give them back to me when I actually need them, right? Eeeeeeeeeeee, I finally just snapped. This is my first baby and I want everything to be brand new for him, especially cloth diapers... I don't want someone handing me back used crap. Everything I've bought, I picked out with so much love and care for my little guy. Then last night my husband talks to her and she tells him that I told her I'd bring the stuff over, so he passes the message along to me. And I'm like, seriously? Am I some kind of joke or is it written on my forehead? Did she really not realize she was pregnant for these nine months? Or that she actually needs stuff for a baby? And he's just like, "I don't know, what did you two agree on?" I told him I should just call 988 and talk to a professional about this mess. I mean, seriously... so I finally just lost it and told him, fine, I'll go buy the diapers, but she can forget about anything else. And those $100 for under the baby's head? Forget it. I am so done with everyone pulling my leg from every single direction. On top of that, I'm such an idiot asking my niece a few days ago if I could have her stroller since the little one hasn't slept in it for two months, simply because my sister isn't capable of buying one herself! But she has money for everything else—makeup, hair, clothes, whatever—but for the baby? Nothing. Well, guess what, I don't have it either, and even if I did, I'm not giving it. Not to mention his parents are the exact same way. Like I'm some kind of Federal Reserve where anyone can just take whatever they need. Well, here's a tip for all of you: :2up: I am officially done letting people screw with my head.

No way she’d ever lend her anything to someone like that... What an absolute nerve.😠

Look, I know there are people out there who’ll act all high and mighty about this, but honestly? I couldn't care less what they think. They wouldn't even want to be around once the baby hits six months anyway. They'd just show up to spout some nonsense and gossip about my life. ☕

The only thing that actually sucks is knowing I have to turn away certain friends and my aunt. They mean the world to me, and I hate the idea of being a mess in front of them, but I can't deal with the hypocrisy. I can't have double standards. 🤷

..people aren't even telling me to get all the sleep I can while I still have the chance...and honestly, it kind of trips me out because they're constantly coming at me with all these other warnings and stuff...but then they turn around and tell me that labor is going to be an absolute nightmare and I'm gonna be struggling so hard, basically because I'm supposed to be taking it easy since my blood pressure has been high from the get-go, which just drives my stress levels through the roof if you ask me...so every single day I make sure to get out there and walk for at least two hours, usually just wandering through the local mall or something if I have to, and I do it in the mornings because that’s when I actually feel somewhat human since I’ve had some rest and I'm feeling refreshed...but clearly, that's just not cutting it and I probably need to 🤷 run a freaking marathon every single day just to stay as flexible as Vesna Mimica

People are constantly lecturing me about sleep 🙄 ˝Get some rest now while you can, because once the baby arrives, you won't get a wink,'' blah, blah, blah.
That’s exactly why maternity leave exists. I’ve been home all day, managing to stay on top of everything—handling the baby's needs and chipping away at the housework, as per usual 😁—and I still find time to nap. My plan is simple: I'll sleep when the baby sleeps. I'll adapt to her schedule. Besides, newborns tend to drift off almost immediately 🙂, they’re awake for such short bursts anyway...

Honestly, I can’t even deal with that place... it's just depressing. Everything is way too cramped (and I'm not even pregnant right now!!), everything is scattered everywhere, and there is absolutely zero organization on the shelves. And don't even get me started on the staff... 🙄
When I was there asking some girl where they keep the maternity underwear—she just stares at me and points, and when I turn around, it's just the section for thongs or basic underwear... just regular stuff... 🙄
Like, how many damn thongs am I supposed to need right now? 😂