Posts by Nicholas Barnes74

rowdytiger13 said:Basically, you're just trolling the thread topics.

Alright, fine. I was honestly just trying to figure out what specifically was bothering you. Like, when Robin Hood told me to "go screw myself," you didn't even step in—so, I don't really know what else I could have said up there, I guess.

Would it be too much to ask for an explanation as to why I’m being penalized here—or did you just wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?

Carol Barrett2 said:

My cousin and I both had liver issues from a young age. They said it was genetic.
There isn't really a cure for it. There's just milk thistle you can take.
Doctors don't even pay much attention to an enlarged liver.

I'm not sure if hers was actually enlarged—I think she just had some kind of scarring. But thankfully, she recovered. It wasn't like my situation, which I'm pretty sure is genetic. It was never clearly diagnosed, so I have no idea what exactly is going on, and I still deal with occasional issues with it.

Things actually got a little worse for me after I started taking those pills. But honestly, whether I'm on them or haven't taken any for a while, it’s always been like this. At this point, I've stopped worrying about it too.

I hadn't heard that before.

I don't know what exactly is going on with your vision.

I've got floaters and I see white blood cells—well, I realized they're white—plus I still have bad distance vision in one eye. None of this was ever officially confirmed, though. They basically told me not to bring it up because of my schizophrenia diagnosis. They said if I mentioned it, the ophthalmologists would just claim it's all psychosomatic. That's regarding the floaters and the spots.

My advice is to stop checking yourself into psychiatric hospitals.

Unfortunately, it looks like I won't have much choice. It's for filing disability claims and stuff like that. That's what my psychiatrist told my mother.

Work on yourself and stick to therapy. When a crisis hits, take the stronger meds, sleep it off, and just wait until things settle back to where they were before the episode.

I'm working on it. I've completely flipped my sleep schedule upside down. Now I'm up before dawn like some farmer. Then I'll crash early in the evening. And I've finally found a rhythm with my meds. I make sure to space out the Aspirin and the Azolar. I don't take the Azolar first thing in the morning anymore; I wait a bit.

Have you guys noticed what happens when you check into a psych ward?

I'm really curious to hear your thoughts. I know the answer, and unfortunately, it's not the help people go in looking for...
They hit you with drugs, and then you spend days just trying to figure out what's real and what isn't.

Exactly. I’ve been through the exact same thing—they give you a dose via IV or some other method, then they taper you off slowly... and it lasts for days. You just can't function.

And does anyone actually sit down and talk to you to explain things? No... not really.
That's why, personally, if things get bad, I'd rather just take my dose myself and sleep it off. Once the brain finally quiets down—whenever that happens, hopefully soon—you just have to hang in there. Then everything goes back to "normal."

Nick didn't say anything specific. Honestly, they don't even let you talk. They just lecture you during rounds. If I had actually tried to speak up and explain that things aren't quite how they think they are, they probably would've moved me from a semi-open ward straight to a locked unit.

It's likely because of the mental health aspect that they don't take it seriously, which is honestly tragic. And you're definitely not alone in this. I hate those prejudices. If it's psych, they lock you up immediately, but if it's physical pain or something else, they just shrug their shoulders.

For sure. They probably just assume you're crazy, making stuff up, or that you don't know what you're talking about.

Good luck with the treatment... if you don't mind me asking, what's the diagnosis? And why are you so underweight? Any idea why? Is it because you lack an appetite, or is it maybe that the medication you're on is suppressing it instead of helping where it's needed?

Thanks. I'm doing okay now, considering how bad I was. They slapped me with paranoid schizophrenia, even though I've never had hallucinations or any paranoia about being followed or anything like that. I think it's Bipolar, and I told the psychiatrist at the hospital that myself. Maybe it is schizophrenia, but just some non-specific version. I've suspected that for a while. As for being underweight, it's always been like this. I eat plenty, but it doesn't stick. Just a fast metabolism, I guess. I'm naturally tall and thin. At the hospital, they kept swapping out my psychiatrists every time I was admitted. Probably because they don't want the hassle of dealing with me. Luckily, the psychiatrist here at the VA seems decent, so maybe she'll help. The previous guy wasn't too bad either, but it's hard to really talk to him about all this since he's basically one foot out the door toward retirement. And they just don't make time for actual conversations.

I feel so much empathy for everyone going through depressive episodes; it's such intense pain. A soul-crushing ache that feels worse than physical pain.
And for everyone dealing with paranoia, delusions, weird manic phases, and whatever else... because once that hits, you realize things aren't right, but it carries you along because it's stronger than anything else.
It's just sad that people have to deal with these kinds of mental struggles.

I feel for everyone. It seems like everybody is fighting some kind of battle. Hopefully, things work out. I'm hoping I can qualify for some kind of survivor benefits. Though, looking at how things are, it's going to be a struggle. This system—and frankly, this whole country—is a mess.

But I have to try, what choice do I have? I think I might be entitled to survivor benefits after my parents pass away. Or so I've been told.

Those spots you're seeing—those tiny little circles and dots drifting through your field of vision, and even the flashes—I deal with that too. It started when I was 15 with just one little speck, but now there are tons of them. And yeah, it's definitely not just "in your head."

Rebecca Rivera3 said:Today, I finally mustered the strength to dig deeper into the specific part of my brain where my lesions have been acting up—they tend to flare up and then suddenly subside, though I can't tell if it's out of fear or something else entirely.
I’ve never been intimidated by science; it’s always fascinated me, and I usually intuitively understood things without even looking them up. But now, hitting a mental block feels like a subconscious defense mechanism.

The reason I decided to look into this is that over the last few days, I've noticed some significant shifts in my mood and general well-being.

Interestingly, I came across something on Wikipedia stating that the lesions located in my area of the brain are linked to the development of schizophrenia—it specifically mentions an increased risk.

I have to admit, that news left me feeling a bit stunned...

Is that MS you're dealing with (if you don't mind me asking)?