Tyler Grant76 said:I wasn't asking you for an exhaustive lecture. I wanted to know your take on modesty. So, why even bother responding if the answer is essentially, "If you don't see it, I won't spend hours explaining it to you, so there's no point wasting my time"? We're having a conversation here. I'm actually interested in people 🙂 And if I get a solid perspective that upgrades my own thinking, I'm all for it.
This is my third attempt at posting this. Apparently, the first two were too long and the site logged me out mid-sentence.
Let me cut to the chase.
Look, Tyler Grant76, that isn't how I read you. If you had asked, "How do you perceive modesty?" I would have answered accordingly.
But when I read, "What is the point, anyway?" I interpret it like this:
a) You think there is no point (and I’m not particularly interested in trying to convince you otherwise, nor do I view it as a good use of my time).
b) You aren't actually curious about my thoughts; you just want an intellectual fight. My evidence? You cherry-pick the parts of my posts that you DISAGREE with—which feels more like a desire for confrontation than consensus. Then you follow up with an imperative ("Come on, explain it"), which feels like you're trying to claim the high ground. It’s condescending, and frankly, I don't care for it. Even when you put quotes around the experiment I mentioned, it comes off as sarcasm. Sarcasm in a discussion is just a subtle form of manipulation. I don't like it. Does anyone else? Or maybe this is just some hazing ritual for new members on this forum? Like, "Now we question you, now prove yourself." If that's the case, it isn't exactly friendly.
To address your point—this is how I view modesty. I prefer unbranded clothes. I don't need a luxury SUV just to signal status; a reliable sedan is fine. When someone tells me I did a great job, I won't spend ten minutes bragging about it; I'll just say thanks. (I know I did a good job—that's being Confident, which proves my earlier point: confidence and modesty can absolutely coexist.) I don't need to shout about how smart I am. Here's a practical example of "purpose": I won't go into massive debt for a flashy car only to struggle to pay my rent. Wouldn't you agree there's some purpose in that?
Since you're into psychology, have you read any Adler or Freud? There are some great examples of excessive ego in classic American psychological texts. As for that other debate I saw online that prompted me to join this thread, I can't recall the author's name to recommend it to you.
Have a good one!