Posts by Harold Adams5

Harold Adams5 said:That’s an interesting point you made. My cat is one of those types that just goes for the attack, regardless of who the opponent is. It’s actually pretty wild to watch. 😲

🙂
So what would my prevention strategy look like?
( Staying in a bunker? )

When animals hit that peak level of panic and fear, they usually react in one of three ways:
-they play dead,
-they fight back,
-or they run for it.
Honestly, people aren't much different. It all just comes down to who you're up against and what kind of tools you've got in your arsenal.

rustymaker5 said:Have you already done the whole forgiveness thing? How did it feel afterward?

I haven't.
It’s just not my style.
I usually just walk away, ignore them, or kick them to the curb.
(Depends on who's stronger, I guess 😁 )

I'm all about prevention.😛
Basically, I prefer to handle things before the hatred even starts and before there's any need for forgiveness.

Sean Cook2 said:Exactly the opposite. Let's go back to square one:

utopia😁
a poor, wounded man is expected to become perfect.
Go ahead, give me just one example—besides Jesus.🙄

sanjana said:Maybe we just weren't on the same page. 😉 When someone messes up and actually realizes it, the only thing stopping them from apologizing to the person they wronged is pure ego. There isn't any other reason for it. At least, I don't see one. 🤔

I'm with you on that. And honestly? I agree with everything else you wrote, too. 😉

gornabo,
it isn’t about being weak,
it’s about self-respect.
to forgive someone who has deeply insulted you and caused you real pain,
especially when they aren't even asking for it,
isn't a noble gesture.
in fact, it's beneath any sense of dignity.
doing that—offering forgiveness—is basically telling them:
keep stepping on me, I don't matter.
And like Sanjana said, "we aren't angels."
Besides, religions always threaten us with Judgment Day,
which implies even God doesn't just hand out forgiveness; why would we think we're better than Him? 😬

"Lay down and die, don't bother praying"—as the old gravedigger used to say. 👍

arna said:The best way to understand revenge is to look at history. You see families, tribes, even entire nations carrying grudges for generations. Eventually, they don't even remember what started it; it just becomes some hollow tradition. What’s the actual point? What kind of relief or benefit does this vengeance provide when the original cause has been forgotten by everyone involved? But hey, our grandfathers fought, our fathers fought, so we guess we have to keep fighting too.

You're looking at this way too broadly... you're drifting into generalizations here. 😉
I'm talking about a "one-on-one" conflict. The everyday stuff. Like when someone constantly pushes you around or picks on you until you just feel pathetic.

goranbo said:In that scenario, humanity would have wiped itself out a long time ago. We'd have all just eliminated each other from our immediate vicinity multiple times over.

The biggest sin here is separation—being disconnected.
One side of this argument keeps failing to account for one simple fact: at some level, we are all part of the same whole. At the very least, we’re all human beings, which makes us brothers and sisters. 🙂

Actually, it's quite the opposite.
We survived because of those differences.😛
We aren't clones.
Everyone on this planet is unique.
And honestly, anyone should be free to choose their own circle.
Some people wisely distance themselves from aggressors early on.👍 Maybe there isn't even anything to forgive, so they just move on and leave the "eliminated" threat in the rearview mirror. (That's actually what I advocate for!)
Others wait too long. And they deal with the fallout.
The only real sin I see here is the one committed against oneself.
Because being naive enough to forgive someone repeatedly until they finally destroy you? That's where the mistake lies.

...if you're actually aiming for peace, then there's really only one way to go about it.

Taylor Campbell4
If someone pulls a stunt that requires an apology
they’re either an idiot or just plain malicious.
Who actually wants that kind of person in their life?
They don't deserve forgiveness; they need to be cut out of your circle entirely.

Harold Adams5 said:An 'apology' really just requires you to drop the ego for once. 😁 😉

😕
Now you've got me thinking.
Is someone who rarely apologizes actually a good person because they have nothing to apologize for, or are they just too stuck up?😁

normall said:Listen! I'm a Scorpio, and we don't exactly have a reputation for being forgiving.

😁
..honestly, revenge just isn't my style. It's too much effort.
I'd rather just walk away...
My go-to move? Total silence or just cutting them out entirely.

sanjana said:Forgiving easily? Please. You can "forgive" something that didn't even feel like an insult or a wound, but let’s call that what it actually is: not forgiveness at all. Forcing yourself to forgive something that truly cut you deep is just suppressing your real emotions. It's rationalizing the pain just to maintain a fake sense of peace or immediate satisfaction. Real forgiveness takes time. You need time to actually express and process the pain, the sadness, the anger, the fury, the hurt, and the hatred before any new realizations can settle in your mind. It seems to me that the less we force ourselves to forgive—the more we actually honor our current feelings—the sooner true peace and resolution with the past will arrive. I’ve met so many people who claim they've forgiven but haven't forgotten, and instead, they just simmer with bitterness and a desire for revenge. I've been there myself; sometimes all it takes is one little trigger for everything I thought I had forgiven to come rushing back out. But hey, that's just my experience...

Anyway, I feel like this belongs in Psychology, not Philosophy.

Those are experiences we all share since we're made of the same stuff. It's just that while we can dress up our physical bodies, we can't really package or control our spiritual growth. It's invisible to the eye, so we end up just presenting a polished version of ourselves to the world.😁

Druid said:Love isn't an emotion. It might show up through emotions, but it isn't one. Love and being "in love" are two completely different things.

As for the topic itself, I don't really feel like getting into it. People keep acting like I'm trying to be some deep philosopher, but let's be real—it’s hardly high philosophy 😁 😉.

You aren't exactly a saint yourself, 😉
so stop pulling metaphors out of thin air.
You aren't philosophizing; you're just being critical. 😁

Depends on what you’re supposed to be apologizing for.
If hatred is just as intense an emotion as love,
- then yeah,
you might as well be asking someone to fall in love on command.

And honestly, what’s wrong with just letting go?
A little holy amnesia...
just fuck it and move on.😬

Laura Peterson3
So, we're really going to condemn describing men who have hit rock bottom? 😬

Harold Adams5 said:If they show up, great. If not, even better.
😬

But isn't that technically a creative opinion?😉>

restlessmarlin6 said:Are we talking about life in general, or specifically the internal shifts? Personally, I can't really separate the two.

Making changes just to live a more fulfilling life... because at the end of the day, you're the only one responsible for your own happiness, right? You have to actually stop and appreciate what's happening.
I used to be such a perfectionist. 😁 I’d basically put myself under siege, creating this high-pressure environment just to hit these arbitrary goals I set for myself.
The weird part? Even when I actually managed to cross them off the list, there was zero satisfaction. Why? Because my brain was already obsessing over the next five things on the agenda.
Now, I've learned to be a little kinder to myself. It turns out, being less of a drill sergeant makes enjoying life a lot easier. 😉

restlessmarlin6 said:Yeah, I stay on top of my game. Constant growth is the only way forward. I don't think I'll ever reach a point where I can just say, "Okay, I've finally made it."

So, basically, you've already decided you're going to die imperfect and perpetually unsatisfied.😁

restlessmarlin6 said:What about the other way around? 😁
Look, I think there's actual value in focusing on yourself to flip the negatives into positives. You know, optimism. Avoiding those deep, dark ruts. Or at least minimizing them, 🙂

I don't do "negativity." Read my entire post again and you'll see what I mean. 😉
Trying to work on yourself just to reach some impossible standard of perfection is a losing battle from the start.
I'm perfectly content with where things stand right now.
If I felt this desperate need to change everything, it would imply I’m unfulfilled—that something is broken or that I'm shackled to flaws and bad habits... get what I'm saying?
It doesn't mean I won't strive for better things, but I'm living in the *now*. I'm not suffering because that "better" version hasn't arrived yet, and I'm not sitting here imagining life should be different than it actually is. To me, perfection is simply accepting my life exactly as it is.
🙂