Posts by Benjamin Stewart82

Jesse Wells10 said:I had one incredibly traumatic experience with Dr. Jasenka Grujic-Koracin. A few years back, during my sophomore year of college, my period was late. I went to an old clinic over on K Street, and she was the one who saw me. I will never forget her cold expression or how clinical and detached the exam felt. The only thing she said to me was—YOU ARE PREGNANT. Given that I knew perfectly well our intimacy happened during days that were nowhere near my fertile window, I couldn't believe it. Her very next question was: "Are you going to keep it???" And I just sat there like, NO, immediately. She didn't ask a single follow-up question; she just told me to call the nurse so she could give me instructions. I can't even describe how I felt walking out of that office. She acted as if I had just told her I spent the night at a frat party with ten different guys and wanted to see if I was pregnant. Fortunately, the nurse saw I was in a total state and offered some comfort, telling me that even an abortion is survivable and everything would be fine. I'm grateful to her, regardless of her name. I don't even know how I managed to get home; I walked through the city feeling like I’d been physically assaulted. If anyone else has gone through this, you know the sensation. The next day, I went to Mercy Hospital. They performed a pregnancy test—which, considering she’s supposed to be a top specialist, shouldn't have even been necessary—and lo and behold, it was negative. After that, they ran a series of tests; I started bleeding and ended up being admitted to the hospital. To make a long story short, I wasn't pregnant; my period was late due to a hormonal imbalance. They had to perform a procedure to clear my uterus, and eventually, everything was fine. I'm not saying she can't make mistakes, but she lacked basic HUMANITY. I was only twenty at the time; my entire world collapsed, and thank God I didn't do something reckless. Even today, the memory leaves me feeling disgusted.
Now, I am seeing a gynecologist whom I trust implicitly, and I recommend him to everyone—especially young women who lack experience and might run into various idiots or idiotesses like I did. Dr. Lepusic 👍

Great, just wonderful. I actually had an exam with that woman last week, and she ran a Pap smear. Now that I've called for the results, she tells me they show some kind of "inflammation" (honestly, thanks a lot, lady, "inflammation" could mean anything from a minor irritation to some horrific infection) and that I MUST come back in for a chlamydia test—?? What logic is there in that? Why specifically a chlamydia test? Is it so she can pick up $133 extra stuff? And if it isn't chlamydia, then why another Pap smear for more $133? What the hell, this post actually explains a few things to me now... and damn, private OB-GYNs are way too expensive for a student budget, while the campus health clinic is a nightmare—you wait a month just to be seen, and then another two months for Pap results—three months total. I'll probably be dead by then... 🙄 Not to mention they don't have an ounce of actual expertise; I have a fibroid on my uterus that nobody at the university clinic ever mentioned to me before I went private... and they carry themselves like these high-and-mighty "distinguished doctors," where you practically have to use tweezers to pull every word out of them regarding your own health. They are a perfect example of why the healthcare system here is broken.👎

I struggled with sleep issues for quite some time—a significant period, actually. To be honest, I still deal with it occasionally even now. The core issue with insomnia is that it rarely exists in a vacuum; more often than not, it’s just a symptom of a deeper psychological struggle that's eating away at you. That might be the initial trigger, but eventually, it evolves into a vicious cycle. You lie in bed telling yourself you won't be able to fall asleep, and then, predictably, you can't. Before long, you develop a genuine fear of the night itself and an aversion to even attempting to go to bed. .....................And as I previously asserted in my "depression" thread, psychiatrists aren't going to solve this for you. You have to confront the problem head-on and resolve it yourself. I would recommend reading a book titled "The nachin of Setting and Solving Problems"—I can't recall the authors offhand, but I'll look it up and let you know. You should be able to find it on Amazon. It explains roughly how to break that self-defeating loop where you get stuck in a pattern of dysfunction with everything, including sleep.
Sometimes, when I still find myself unable to drift off, I end up passing the time with certain pills or minor sedatives 😁 though I realize that isn't a sustainable long-term solution. .......🙄

It feels suspiciously easy so far. It’s been four days and I haven't faced a single serious craving—actually, for the first three days, there wasn't even one single urge. Today, I even spent about five minutes contemplating a cigarette. To me, this seems highly suspicious... I suspect the real crisis will hit sometime after a week or two has passed... or at least, that's what a friend told me. 😁 Oh well... 🙄

Heh, well, I have officially made it THREE DAYS WITHOUT A SINGLE CIGARETTE... my motivation feels remarkably strong this time around. Now, I just need to maintain this resolve. Wish me luck! 😉

Amy Smith said:a. You can't even hold a cigarette properly; ;P
b. Trust me, you wouldn't.
c. It doesn't bother me at all when someone smokes next to me without bothering me, and I haven't touched a cigarette in over a year and three months.

The only thing you really need to do is get your head in the right space and commit to the fact that you aren't smoking anymore. It won't be easy, but that is the only way you will actually succeed—by not lying to yourself about being restless or not knowing what to do with your hands and such.

Regards, 😉

How on earth did you see right through me? 😁

silentowl43 said:actually, it doesn't have to be a psychiatrist; a psychologist works too. that's just a narrow-minded assumption people tend to make.😛

Furthermore, I completely disagree with the notion that private practitioners are inherently superior to everyone else.

My own experience tells a different story, and it is simply untrue that they are just looking to bleed you dry.

I couldn't pull myself out of it on my own, which is why I had to return to medication after a year. It is what it is.

The truth is, they can't actually solve my problems for me. My issue isn't some complex, unsolvable mystery; it's the standard struggle of learning how to adapt to society and building resilience.

And that is something I have to handle myself.
No psychiatrist or psychologist is going to fix that for me; at most, they might offer some guidance.🙂

silentowl43, really? I disagree. A private doctor actually has the time to listen to your issues. Who is going to sit there for two hours listening to you vent about your life at a public clinic? 😁 They are basically programmed to hear you out for thirty minutes, scribble down a prescription, and if the meds work, fine; if not, you’re stuck, because getting off them is incredibly difficult. If they don't work, they'll just send you to a ward for a week to pump you full of even stronger drugs. If that fails, they'll throw you into a locked facility. After all that, they'll dump you back into "normal" life right where you started.

I know several people whose situations confirm exactly what I just stated. 😉 😛

But I suppose it is clear that in either scenario, you have to do the heavy lifting yourself.

boldeagle3 said:I was thinking about starting a thread on depression at the same time I started one on anxiety, but for some reason, I never did...

Regarding anxiety... everything is fine. We write, we talk, we function.
But what about this wretched, disgusting depression?

Should a psychologist be the solution for this area as well?

I'm losing my mind... 😢

You need a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. And if I may offer a piece of advice: if you decide to seek help, go to a private practitioner WITHOUT fail. It is far better to pay $67 per session than to visit a community health center or a public hospital. In those institutions, nobody actually cares about your thoughts or how you truly feel; they are simply waiting to check off certain symptoms so they can dump a load of pills on you. You’ll walk out of there with a prescription in hand, popping medication for a year, only to have everything crash back down the moment you stop. Medication doesn't solve the root cause; it merely buffers the impact. Therefore, even though private psychiatrists are damn expensive, it might be your best option. If you believe you can handle this on your own—which isn't impossible, as I am living proof 😁—then borrow or buy some self-help books. There is plenty of material out there. For instance, this one is quite good for gaining insight into depression, even though it's technically a memoir—Elizabeth Wurtzel's Prozac Nation. You can find it at Barnes & Noble, and it isn't pricey. At least that way, you will learn something about what you are fighting against.
If you want more detailed information, send me a PM.

Carol Roberts77 said:You completely missed my point. This isn't even about some girl anymore; it’s about loneliness. It feels like I can't get my bearings because if you haven't even come close to being in a relationship by age 22, when exactly are you supposed to start?

Regarding the current state of affairs—everyone seems to be looking for someone else to fix them. The actual issue here is that you need to learn how to exist independently. If you don't, this depression of yours will haunt you every single time you find yourself alone, and unfortunately, that is a recurring theme in life. As for clinical depression, I have been there, done that. It is an unpleasant experience, and I do not envy anyone still stuck in that cycle. You lose the ability to find an exit; instead, you just dig yourself deeper. You vent to everyone you know, people eventually lose patience with you, and then you end up driving yourself crazy, feeling even more pathetic every time you do it. That is how you spiral. However, I refused to let that happen. I didn't settle for any Prozac, Xanax, or similar nonsense. Instead, one day I simply got out of bed and headed into the mountains 😁 and that saved me. It hasn't returned (so far). So, depression—fuck off. 🙂

Peter Bennett8 said:Bravo to everyone who has quit. 👍 👍 👍
I simply cannot seem to stop.😢
I really ought to find some kind of substitute, because without cigarettes, I’m becoming far too overbearing. 😱
Last year, I managed to succeed within just two months. I won't even begin to describe how much better I felt during that time, but unfortunately, I found myself slipping back into old habits far too easily.🙂 It’s as if nothing ever happened, and frankly, that's what gets under my skin. It completely kills any sense of motivation I have left.🙂

Come on, now. Come on. 🙄 I quit smoking for a month, only to pick it right back up like nothing ever happened. It’s been a total wash. I honestly think I need to address two things if I want this to stick. First, I need a way to keep my hands busy; sitting around at a coffee shop with nothing to do just leaves me reaching for a cigarette out of pure habit. Second, I probably shouldn't walk to the cafe in the first place—if I stop making those trips, I might actually solve both problems at once. 😁 I really should be spending my time around people who don't smoke. When someone lights up right next to me, the odds of me not joining in are slim to none. It’s just how it works. Honestly, I'm still trying to figure out how to force myself to tackle all those other lifestyle changes. 😕