Anthony Wood54 said:How many of you watched that documentary yesterday about the girl struggling with anorexia?
How many of you thought, "What an idiot, she needs a slap to snap her out of this nonsense..."?
I believe quite a few did; at least that’s what the girls in my college cohort were saying...
Not one of them mentioned she was actually ill... except for me.
I guess I'm sick too...
By simply admitting it... I’ve finally broken out of my own vicious cycle...
Anyone who has read the book "Kiss the Pot" knows exactly what I mean...
"… most of all, I want to help myself. Just myself. For too long, the words inside me have been screaming, begging to be let out, into the light. I was ashamed of myself. I loathed myself, but now I have neither the strength nor the will left, and I just want to find myself again. I am writing this for myself and for all of you."
That's almost at the very beginning of that book...
And what should I write?
It all started when I was 22... after all those diets—unsuccessful ones, because I wasn't persistent enough, wasn't strong enough to hold on... and then it began...
On November 30th, I weighed 176 lbs. By December 6th, I was down to 132 lbs. I think you get the picture...
I broke up with my boyfriend, failed an exam, ended up alone, and locked myself in my room... when I finally stepped out into the city a month later, people didn't even recognize me...
My excuse was... nerves. I told them I broke up with my boyfriend, and that was it...
Everyone "believed" me... though it doesn't really matter if they did... my weight doesn't mean anything to them... my 44-pound loss, the lost periods, the headaches, the irritability...
My entire life changed fundamentally. Suddenly, from being invisible, I became visible to everyone...
The part that hurt most was: "Where have you been hiding all these years?"...
I stayed the same; it was my body that changed... and then everything else started shifting... my behavior... everything...
Now, for a year and four months, I am still a slave to my body... the bathroom... eating... bingeing and lying...
I don't want to live like this anymore...
Most of you won't understand me, and you won't have any clue what I'm talking about... only those who "live" the life of bulimia, those who purge five, six, or seven times a day... know how I feel... and what I need...
Just as I couldn't stick to a single diet because I wasn't strong enough... I can't stop this now...
If you have the time, read the book...
You're right. I don't fully grasp what you're going through, but I still want to congratulate you for being the first to face the truth and admit to yourself that you are ill...
I'm rooting for you to do the right thing, whatever you decide that may be...