nimbleotter18 said:Chronic indecision is basically a lifelong disease. You struggle through, making it work somehow, but it’s never going away. NEVER.
I am in complete agreement... I honestly believe this isn't an issue of upbringing or environment, but rather a matter of personality.... As I mentioned earlier regarding my sister, we share the exact same parents and received the same upbringing—she wasn't coddled or given any special treatment—yet the difference between us is stark... In this instance, I see genetics at play; for example, my maternal aunt struggles with the same issue, and my sister likely inherited that specific trait from her, along with many others...🤷 One simply has to learn to live with it. It isn't necessarily pathological in the context of other psychological issues, is it?
It wasn't even an issue for her back then; honestly, she just drifted along with the current, going wherever life took her... Over the last year or so, she’s actually been pretty frustrated with herself for acting that way. She isn't a kid anymore, and it's reached the point where she needs to step up and make some real adult decisions, you know? haha I would give anything just to see her once—to see her slam her hand on the table and declare, "This is how it's going to be, period," and just mean it.😂
lonegardener said:Man, is she cute? And more importantly, is she single? 😍
😂 If she were... but she's way too far away geographically speaking haha who knows what made her decide to go. I guess my mom and I are heading out, so she might as well tag along.🤷
I realize this sounds grim, but I don't think there’s much recourse here... My mother and I are polar opposites of her, and we’ve genuinely attempted to influence her perspective—trying to demonstrate that consistency matters when making certain life choices and all that jazz—but it was futile.😢.. It really just comes down to temperament...
Honestly, I’m not even sure what to say to you... but I certainly know what it’s like living with someone like that.😲 haha It sounds exactly like how you described my sister... If I ask her something incredibly basic, like if she wants a glass of juice, she’ll give me this agonizingly slow, contemplative response like, "I don't know, maybe, maybe not." It's enough to make both of us lose our minds.😁
I've become so used to her indecision that I'd probably look like a total pushover to a stranger, but if I actually waited for her to make a decision while we were standing in line at Target, I would have starved to death long ago...
One time, I left her in the deli section to pick out some ham while I walked through the entire grocery store—let's say a massive Walmart—checking out everything I needed and everything I didn't need. When I finally circled back, she was still pacing from one end of the refrigerated aisle to the other, intensely scrutinizing different brands of deli meat.😂...I just thought, for God's sake, just grab a pack of bologna and let's get home...
And don't even get me started on her choice of college. I feel guilty whenever she struggles because it turns out I was the one who talked her into it, though really, I was just trying to help...
She barely buys any clothes herself; most of the time she just likes something I buy, so she wears that instead.
Yeah, she could go on forever about this stuff... If it weren't funny, it would be tragic, or vice versa...
Man, people really go through some heavy stuff sometimes... I honestly can't even fathom how dark things can get...
I’m chasing my dreams, but every single time, something unexpected pops up and forces me back to square one... There are days when the frustration is overwhelming, and other days where I try to find comfort in the idea that there's a lesson buried in all this chaos... It’s a situation similar to what Naomi went through, though I suspect we're all feeling this same collective weight...so close, yet so incredibly far...
Regarding what you said... career paths change like seasonal fashion trends (alright, maybe that was a bit much, but you get the point)... My professors are mostly quite young—early 40s or even younger—and when they talk about their previous careers, it's always "oh, I used to do this, then that"... and now, every single one of them holds a PhD in psychology. It makes you wonder: how? When? What's the secret sauce?...
If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't abandon my goals for anything. Everything tends to fall into place eventually, provided you push yourself hard enough to make sure it does...👍
It sounds a bit like learned helplessness to me... Difficult... incredibly difficult... Just keep in mind that you aren't naturally antisocial (as you noted earlier), but rather socially withdrawn due to how you were raised. If that’s the case, then change is actually possible... And what is a diagnosis really going to do? What do you need—a specific number just to put a period at the end of the sentence?🤷
I don't consider myself particularly gifted at handing out positive affirmations, so I won't attempt it. Instead, I'll just send a single 🙂
"Those who don't feel the urge to change never bother asking what the point of life even is." "The people who claim to have found their purpose are usually just those content with maintaining the status quo..."
That’s a pretty sharp way for Leszek to put it... and honestly, he's right. But after spending way too much time wrestling with these exact questions, I've realized there's no sense in living like this—constantly chasing my own tail trying to solve everything. Sometimes it's just easier to go with the flow and see where the current takes you.
Of course, this carefree phase won't last forever. I read a few profound philosophical quotes, and now I'm right back to running in circles, chasing my own tail again.😂
Anonymous said:hmm... and just how much are we talking about daily consumption? 🤔
Well, once I get home from work... it's hard to say. If I've been stuck on the phone all day, that first beer just slides right down, and usually, I'm onto a second one pretty quickly... if I'm feeling up for it, I'll keep going...
Lately, I haven't really been drinking on the weekends because my sister manages to knock back a few beers by the time I get home from work, so it feels like a bit of a guilt trip... since I've already had a few myself, there's no point in trying to drive anyway.😠
Well, I suppose I fall into both categories... But honestly, putting "alcoholism" right there in the title feels a bit heavy-handed. Take me, for instance—I have a drink every single day, yet I don't view my habits as being particularly problematic...
I will, however, concede the point on smoking... haha.
Betty Allen65 said:my "comment" was intended as a joke—a failed one, apparently..... I certainly had no intention of being insulting 😉
Understood?! 🙂
Fine, I suppose I missed the mark... it’s difficult when you can't see a person's face to realize they're being sarcastic rather than serious... An astute observation.👍
My professor would be more than thrilled if I turned in exactly what Jamie Newman40 wrote... she approaches problems with that same mindset... Substances—and yes, I’m including cigarettes and coffee—are here, they're part of our lives, and they always will be. People will always seek out things that alter their mood, whether it's through drugs or just an adrenaline rush like bungee jumping or speeding down a highway. We really need to shift the focus toward "harm reduction." Even though I don't think she particularly likes me (probably because she catches me with a cigarette in my hand right before class starts, haha, and throws a comment my way), I believe her approach to the drug issue is excellent. It would be great if you all could attend some of her lectures...🙏 From what I've gathered so far, the approach here in the States is much more about that philosophy, and I actually like it. More importantly, it's been proven to work better than in other countries that still cling to the outdated motto of "crush everything we don't like."
Best,😁 Oh, and those photos Lisa Morales4 posted (the black ones with the smoke figures) are absolutely incredible... What kind of campaigns are these? If I saw an image like that on TV, I wouldn't even realize it was meant to be anti-smoking, haha.
Kudos to you, Walter Cox5... I'm honestly speechless.
Lisa Morales4: Well, now I don't even have to cram for my finals from the textbook. Between reading everything you posted and cutting out a few diagrams, I might just walk away with a Fulbright Scholar award, haha.😬
I’m currently studying for an exam and stumbled upon something rather peculiar... It was too nagging to ignore, so I felt compelled to share it with you all... According to this text, smoking supposedly has certain positive correlations regarding endometrial cancer (I had to look up the specific term for that one), Parkinson's disease, and hypertension during pregnancy... Naturally, the book emphasizes that the negative consequences are far more significant—something I am perfectly aware of—but I simply hadn't realized there might be niche instances where it could be "helpful"... Of course, the actual dosage involved is highly debatable, but let's not get ahead of ourselves... Here is the link to the study
When I first saw this thread, I told myself I wouldn't get too involved. But looking at what people are actually typing here... it seems the consensus is that smokers are just unintelligent, stinking, second-class citizens that ought to be wiped out entirely... I think it’s high time we start a new topic: "Do you drink?"🤣 haha
I won't write much here... but I feel compelled to share my thoughts on this matter... If management at any firm possesses even a shred of common sense, they won't allow themselves to discriminate against employees based on whether they smoke or not... I won't even get into how they might be eyeing future longevity—calculating how long an employee stays on the payroll or what their health insurance premiums will cost—because if we start playing that game, we might as well factor in those people who refuse to pick up a straw at a Starbucks, but that's beside the point... Fine, there shouldn't be smoking inside offices or in specific indoor areas, but I fail to see the issue with having a balcony or a designated smoking room... Who actually wants a high-strung employee who, by virtue of their own irritability, suffers from plummeting productivity and passes that tension onto everyone else? That’s just bad business... I remember my very first job working at an ice cream parlor; they told me straight up that if I mentioned I smoked, they wouldn't hire me. I desperately needed the work, so I kept my mouth shut... But all I could think about was my next cigarette. By the end of my shift, I was practically ready to kill for one... I would step outside, lighting one after another. I'd be standing out there watching six different city buses roll by on the main street, and I'd still be puffing away... total intoxication. Every single nerve in my body was on edge...
Ultimately, this whole idea of discriminating against smokers is simply revolting to me... It increasingly feels like just another trendy distraction used when there's a lack of inspiration to fight actual problems...
jadetiger10, I hope you aren't dealing with total prohibition over where you work...👍
I'm a terrible driver and a heavy smoker😲 ...so watch out for me 😈 hahaha Man, if Australia had any idea what kind of disaster was headed their way, they never would have let me cross the border... Don't worry, jadetiger10, I don't have any plans to visit the continent anytime soon haha😁
Looking forward to seeing how this debate unfolds😛 Look, I'll act as the OBJECTIVE judge here and decide who actually won this one haha Go get 'em, Jamie Newman40👍
jadetiger10;8876717 said:Lilly, please don't take this the wrong way; I have no intention of upsetting anyone's mother, as I truly believe they all act with the best intentions in mind.👍QUOTE]
I know you don't... Naturally, my mother isn't thrilled about my habit, especially seeing how much of a dedicated smoker I actually am. She knows I haven't even attempted to quit and likely won't for quite some time (God, she’s probably reading this right now, and I've clearly crushed any hope she had of me quitting anytime soon—sorry, Mom, but definitely not yet hahahaha)... thank God she hasn't found out yet.😬 She'd kill me via the internet... I am fully aware of how much modeling behavior influences children and adults, but I would never dream of blaming my dear mother for it. When it comes to my smoking and its consequences, the responsibility lies solely with me, and I will bear them. A stoic approach.🙂 Hahahaha
Honestly, what you all are saying here is just appalling... Is it just me, or did someone actually take a shot at my mother?🤔Stop judging others and acting like an expert on parenting. You never know when you'll find yourself looking at your own child and thinking, "What did I do wrong? I was a perfect parent." We all know that kind of rhetoric is utterly useless. Then they end up spiraling and blaming everyone else, even though they followed every rule in the book... Right now, I am ready to head straight to Siberia😬...and I suspect I’ll be staying there for a while. I just hope I never reach a point where, after finally quitting, I turn into some radical crusader against the habit itself...
I tried searching for it on YouTube, but either it’s not there or my computer skills are just hitting a wall...
It actually fits this topic quite well; just imagine it playing in the background.
I walk into town, and standing right in front of the diner all my good colleagues faces pale, souls completely at peace and every single one of them is smoking a CIGAR