Posts by slyseal28

I haven't really written anything here yet... But essentially, my love passed away on June 2nd, early in the morning around 4:40 AM. He fought with such courage and dignity. He fell asleep on Monday at 4:00 PM and simply hasn't woken up since. He passed away at home, just as he truly wanted—peaceful, clean, without diapers, and nourished while surrounded by his dearest women... We saw him off, and he wasn't in any pain. He didn't feel that terror of death. He didn't even know he was leaving us...

The last thing we were discussing was starting a new targeted therapy; we had a plan in place.

He truly was brave. He always used to say there’s nothing dignified about dying, yet he truly left this world with dignity—as a man, not as a patient.

We will try to be at least half as brave as he was, and we intend to finish the things we started together. This Tuesday, we are heading to Congress for a special session of the Health Committee to discuss a proposed resolution regarding malignant tumors. The fight continues, for everyone who is coming and for everyone who is no longer with us.

Casey Palmer5 said:Life is absolute garbage. Just when you think you’ve finally got everything lined up, someone comes along and hits you over the head with a sledgehammer. But I’m still pushing myself to see our shared plans through, because deep down, I know that’s what He wants.

And honestly? God can go straight to hell.

I wanted to tell you that if things really had to end this way—it’s better that he didn't suffer for too long. I've spent days watching my love struggle, begging for some way to help him find peace and just let go. On one hand, I’m selfishly praying to God to keep him by my side just a little longer, because I can't fathom a world without him... but on the other hand, I'm praying for it all to end, because this isn't humane.

So yeah, I'm with you—He can go jump in a lake.

Casey Palmer5 said:Life is absolute garbage; just when you think things are finally falling into place, someone comes along and hits you over the head with a sledgehammer. Still, I’m making it my mission to see all our shared plans through, because I know that's what He wants.

And as for God, He can go straight to hell.

I am so, so incredibly sorry...

Kate Reed63 said:I'm trying to figure out the latest possible date she should start chemotherapy. It's been two weeks since the surgery, and she's feeling pretty weak right now...

I'm not sure if any of the other patients here can give you a definitive answer on this... I can only speak from what we went through with my husband—we didn't actually begin chemo until about a month after his surgery...

Kate Reed63 said:Hey everyone.
I've been scouring the boards looking for a thread similar to this one, but I haven't had any luck finding anything that fits. If a discussion like this already exists, would someone mind terribly if we merged them? Thanks in advance.
I’ll try to keep this brief and lay it all out clearly. My mother underwent surgery about two weeks ago to deal with several issues: a tumor on her pancreas, one on her adrenal gland, along with her gallbladder and spleen. According to the pathology and cytology reports, the histology itself looks stable; the main concern is that 3 out of the 9 lymph nodes they removed were malignant. Because of those, she’ll need to see an oncologist for chemotherapy once she’s regained enough strength to handle it. The sutures are coming out in about 15 days. For what it's worth, the incision site is healing beautifully without any complications. However, the surgery itself was a marathon—lasting over six hours—and it really took its toll. She spent ten days in shock, and the recovery process has been incredibly grueling. She struggled with severe diarrhea at first, which is finally starting to subside, though it's still painful and leaves her completely drained. Her doctor mentioned this could drag on for two or three months, depending on how her body responds. Right now, she’s strictly following a specialized diet, taking Creon tablets three times a day to supplement her enzymes, and using probiotics to help repair her intestinal lining. It’s just a long, slow road ahead.
So, this is the diagnosis: Adenocarcinoma of the pancreatic caudate (T3, N1b, Mx). It’s heavy stuff. Just staring at those clinical terms doesn't make it any easier to process, even if you try to look at it through a purely medical lens. It's one of those moments where the technical jargon feels like a weight sitting right on your chest.
Adenoma of the left adrenal gland.
If anyone here has dealt with something similar, I’d really appreciate some advice or even just a bit of clarity on the situation. She recently underwent surgery at Mercury, and Dr. Kocman was the one who performed the procedure.
Thanks a million!

The only thing I can tell you for certain is that Dr. Kocman is an exceptional surgeon, and he undoubtedly did the absolute best he could in that situation. You can find various firsthand accounts and personal experiences right here on our forum.Furthermore, you can always get a direct answer from the oncologists on our medical advisory team who assist our members here...

A mammogram is essentially an X-ray of the breast. For the best results, you’ll want to schedule it during the first few days after your period ends. The process involves taking two views of each breast, which means four images in total. Once the shots are done, the images are developed and reviewed by a radiologist. As for the procedure itself, it isn't painful and moves along quite quickly. And before anyone starts worrying about radiation—don't. Modern mammography machines use incredibly low doses. There is also this persistent, misguided myth that the radiation from a mammogram can actually cause breast cancer; that simply isn't true. Generally, these screenings are recommended for women over 40, though they can be done earlier if necessary. It isn't strictly age that dictates whether a mammogram is useful, but rather the density of the breast tissue. In younger women, where the tissue is often very dense and glandular, mammograms aren't always the most effective tool. The diagnostic accuracy might only hover around 65% in those cases. That’s why doctors often lean toward ultrasound for younger women. However, for older women, the reliability of a mammogram jumps to about 85%, and when you pair it with an ultrasound, that accuracy climbs to a much more reassuring 95%. One major advantage of the mammogram is its ability to spot microcalcifications, which can be early indicators of cancer that other methods might miss.

Breast ultrasound, on the other hand, is an increasingly sophisticated and reliable method for early cancer detection. It is particularly effective at "seeing" through the dense, fibrous tissue often found in younger women. It excels at identifying benign changes, such as cysts or fibroadenomas. Because modern ultrasound technology is constantly evolving and the probes are becoming more sensitive, there have been documented instances where ultrasound caught early signs of cancer in dense tissue that a mammogram had missed entirely. The exam isn't painful, and since it uses sound waves rather than radiation, there are no safety concerns regarding exposure. Given all of this, the smartest approach is to use both methods in tandem. That is how you achieve the highest level of diagnostic certainty.

Personally, I’ve always felt that all those clinical forecasts and statistical models are pretty much irrelevant to us as patients. You have to fight with everything you've got and refuse to throw in the towel. Some people defy the odds and beat the statistics, while others don't—that's just how it goes. But if you don't at least try, how can you ever truly know if you could have made it? And even if someone doesn't win the battle, their family and friends will at least know they fought like a lion until the very end. For some, seeing that sheer will to live can be a profound source of inspiration and the strength to keep pushing forward.

Predicting the outlook for breast cancer really comes down to a few moving parts: the size of the primary tumor, the histological grade, how aggressively it tends to grow, and its potential for lymphatic metastasis. Patients in the "low-risk" category generally have a much more favorable prognosis—we’re typically looking at histologically differentiated carcinomas with high receptor expression. On the flip side, if we're dealing with an undifferentiated carcinoma, evidence of lymphangiosis carcinomatosa, or very low/negative receptor levels, those patients fall into the high-risk category. Interestingly, because breast cancer tends to progress more slowly compared to other genital carcinomas, even without treatment, about 20-35% of patients survive five years, and roughly 3-5% make it to the ten-year mark. However, the single most critical prognostic factor remains lymph node involvement. If the nodes are negative, the survival rates are significantly higher—around 80% at five years and 65% at ten years. Naturally, the prognosis worsens as the number of metastatic lymph nodes increases, with three to five positive nodes being considered a critical threshold.

When looking at overall recovery, measured by the five-year survival rate, the numbers break down like this:
-Stage I: 70 - 80%,
-Stage II: 50 - 70%,
-Stages III and IV: 20 - 30% or even lower.

Yes—the five-year window is the standard metric used here.

The fundamental issue we face in the US is that women aren't responding to preventative screening programs nearly as much as they should. And for those who actually do show up for screenings, they often run into agonizingly long waits before therapy can even begin—largely due to a chronic shortage of radiation equipment across the country.

Elizabeth Gonzalez55 said:Another thing—for those following our journey fighting melanoma—unfortunately, things have taken a turn for the worse. The latest PET/CT scan showed five new metastases, including one in the lungs. Since the only way to actually know what we're dealing with is through surgery or potentially a biopsy, and my husband is refusing any further surgical interventions, we’re left with nothing but to wait and see how this plays out.

He has this profound belief in alternative healing, and his decision right now is that we won't be pursuing any more clinical trials or experimental medicine. While I don't entirely agree with that stance, I am supporting him, and I can only hope for the best. Because, honestly, I don't have anything else left to do but hope..

Honey, I am so incredibly sorry about the scan results. Just stay strong and keep moving forward; there's no stopping now. You are in my thoughts and my prayers. If you need anything at all, please reach out.

Susan Ruiz76 said:Thank you,🙏
for this Forum and the sense of solidarity—the whole "all for one, one for all" thing. You were the only soul who actually responded to my desperate post over the last three days to offer some kind of support. I wish nothing but success to you, your father, and everyone else out there fighting their own battles. All the best.
As for the rest of you, goodbye. It’s funny how everyone is right here when you want to spend an entire day on the Forum arguing about hypothetical alternatives, but the moment a real, raw, human crisis hits the fan, everyone vanishes.

So, I’m saying goodbye to this entire Forum tonight, while yet another person—along with so many others—is struggling just to catch their next breath.

You talk about "all for one, one for all," but when we try to organize actual initiatives to drive change, do you have any idea how few members actually step up? Barely six people. We fight like lions, not just for ourselves, but for others too. Our days are far too short, and on top of that, we carry the heavy weight of seeing loved ones in pain or watching helplessly as medication fails to work. That wasn't fair of you to say.

Drew Allen said:Oh, so chemotherapy is just some magical milk flowing through your veins?

I’m not trying to be anyone’s hero here. I’ve already made my point: this old man Jova has documentation that I honestly wish someone would step up and verify—to see if it’s legitimate or just a complete fabrication. Who said I actually believe him? That’s exactly why I said "it would be good for someone to investigate this." Personally, I don’t have the credentials to look at medical records and determine if they're forged or authentic. Like most people on this forum, I’m an amateur. At the end of the day, papers and theories don't mean a damn thing to me; all that matters is the spoken word and people who actually get better. That's the bottom line.

Nobody here claimed chemotherapy was milk. But it is administered under strict medical supervision, which is a far cry from herbs and home remedies. Cancer patients aren't turning to cytostatics because they've lost their minds or have nothing better to do.

The issue with everyone advocating for alternative medicine is that you always retreat behind the excuse of not being "competent enough" to review the actual documentation. You dodge the question whenever evidence is requested. That is precisely the problem. Alternative medicine tends to hide the truth about recovery. Conventional medicine, on the other hand, is more than happy to show us cases of people who have recovered or at least extended their lives. That’s where I find hope, and that’s why we fight to get access to these treatments.

Since my husband isn't doing very well right now, I need a little time to dig into this story about your herbalist. But, I promise both myself and everyone else fighting similar battles that I will do it. If it turns out everything you’re saying is true, I’ll be the first to admit it publicly.

But if it turns out this guy is just a con artist, then you'll be the one answering for spreading lies and unverified information.

Jesse Morgan3 said:Or did I just completely misinterpret you? 🤷

You definitely misread the situation. The real issue with alternative medicine is that the ingredients haven't been properly studied; someone battling cancer shouldn't just be tossing random herbs and concoctions into their system without consulting a doctor first. As for your comment—"I'd rather wait for death surrounded by family than try alternative routes"—well, sometimes that actually is the better choice. It beats poisoning someone and causing them more agony and harm than the disease itself.

We'll hear the story about Jovo Andrica soon enough. I'll make sure we track him down, and if Drew Allen is anyone of consequence, he'd probably handle the introduction himself.

But it doesn't matter; we'll get it sorted regardless.

Drew Allen said:I really hope slyseal28 actually called Jova personally. If she didn't, she’s just contradicting herself. I mean, she was looking for proof that someone actually recovered using his drops, but he’d have that evidence right at his fingertips—those very same people who were sick and found relief through his formula would be the ones coming to see him and leaving behind their medical records and recovery stories.

slyseal28 isn't being contradictory. As soon as I get my hands on any evidence regarding whether this works or not, I’ll publish it—not just here on the forum, but on national TV as well.

Kenneth Wright3 said:They’re going to try weekly gemcitabine next.
Is Sutent an option instead? It feels like the doctor is hesitant to even bring up the request to the medical board.

Well, we really need to know the specific type of cancer being discussed. If we're talking about renal cell carcinoma, then Sutent, Nexavar, or even Avastin are standard considerations. Here in the States, Sutent is typically covered on the specialty drug lists, but usually only as a first-line treatment option.You can find more detailed information regarding treatment protocols here.

Try to look closely at what the pathology reports actually say (the discharge summary, the biopsy results, etc.) and let us know what you find.

If this turns out to be transitional cell carcinoma, the entire treatment approach changes completely.

If it is indeed that first type, I strongly suggest seeking a second opinion—either at a different major hospital system or through a private specialist.

Drew Allen said:I want to share the experience of a very dear friend of mine who traveled to visit Jovo Andrica (the herbalist) in Cetinja a few days ago. She brought a massive stack of paperwork because her father is battling small cell lung cancer with metastases in his bones and liver. Here’s the gist of what happened. When she arrived at his place, there were already several people waiting outside—some visiting for the first time, others returning. Listening to their conversations, it became clear that quite a few people had actually seen real improvement from his tinctures. While she was waiting her turn, a man went inside with his medical results; he stayed in there for about fifteen minutes while the practitioner reviewed everything. When he came out without any tinctures, she actually got a bit anxious, fearing the news would be that they couldn't help. Instead, he told him not to worry and that they could help. Once she finally went in, she watched the process and asked how much success had been seen so far with small cell lung cancer cases. He simply replied, "I won't bore you with explanations; here is the complete documentation." He then showed her files containing records from various hospitals detailing patients who had treated themselves using those specific seals/drops. I can't say exactly how many examples there were, but she noted there were a significant number of successful recoveries. Now, we just wait to see what happens. Her father is actually a physician himself, and he's undergoing chemotherapy, though it seems to be scheduled once every two weeks. Also, I've read somewhere that if the primary tumor is successfully broken down—meaning it's completely eliminated—then the metastases can go dormant or disappear entirely. She confirmed this to me, as she understands the mechanics of cancer far better than I ever will.
She’ll read this, and I know she won't be angry with me for sharing it. As for you, if you happen to know any journalists, perhaps they could take a trip out to Cetinja to investigate and publish something. Maybe she’ll join this discussion too; I certainly hope she does.

Well, pass along the contact info for your friend and that herbalist. If necessary, I'll personally make the trip to see if what you're saying holds water.

Drew Allen said:I’m still an optimist at heart, and I truly believe there isn't a single disease out there that we can't find a way to confront.

I consider myself an optimist too, but I try to stay grounded in reality—and unfortunately, for certain illnesses, a cure just doesn't exist. That said, there are always chances to improve the quality of life. That’s why we fight so hard for every single new day.

Drew Allen said:I’m still an optimist at heart, and I truly believe there isn't a disease out there that can't be fought. I can't—and won't—think any other way. You think I didn't believe medicine could help us? Of course I did. That was our first stop, and they told us they couldn't do anything. It’s not my fault, it’s not yours, and honestly, it’s not even the doctors' fault... It’s the people for whom money is the only thing that matters. Whether we like it or not, everything revolves around the bottom line.
And look, you still haven't quite understood my point. If a doctor tells you there’s nothing more they can do, what else are you supposed to do besides try every possible avenue to save yourself? Even if that means turning to those "unproven alternative practitioners," as you call them. Reading through various forums, I've seen that plenty of people have actually recovered, and thank God for that. You can never just give up.
Yes, unfortunately, big pharma is a massive business. It’s not that a doctor doesn't *want* to cure you. Of course they do. There is no greater feeling in life than saving someone, but when they run out of weapons against cancer, they are forced to tell you they can't help anymore. A doctor is just a human being, after all.
Let's set aside our egos and just help one another. People on both sides of the medical divide—the alternative crowd and the MDs—can be incredibly stubborn, refusing to acknowledge the successes of the other side, and that is a mistake. It is rare to find physicians who rise above that level, those who are genuinely interested in both natural approaches and the traditional training they received in med school.
Please, don't take this personally; I'm not attacking you. What was I supposed to do when we were told the diagnosis was terminal? Just roll over? No. There is no surrender. We keep moving forward, whatever comes next.
slyseal28, does it really matter how someone gets better, as long as they actually recover??? I don't believe for a second that you actually mean what you said. Health is health, regardless of the path you take to reach it...

I am taking nothing personally, nor am I angry with you. All we ask from these "alternative" types is for them to provide actual documentation proving they have dealt with severe illnesses and showing exactly how they were cured. And ideally, it would be someone we could actually contact. Not some guy named John in Tungusia or a lady named Mary living behind seven mountains whose friend's friend claims a miraculous recovery.

Of course it doesn't matter how you achieve wellness. The reality is that some people, unfortunately, simply don't recover because an effective cure still hasn't been found.

And I’m not being egotistical. I’m sorry you feel that way. I would give anything to find something that could help my husband and others suffering like him.

I don't understand this part: It’s the people for whom money is the only thing that matters. Whether we like it or not, everything revolves around the bottom line. 😕 You're falling for conspiracy theories again...

And you're back to talking about "natural healing"??? For what? Cancer? For heaven's sake, show me the people who have actually been cured of cancer through purely natural means. Where are they? Why aren't they standing up and showing the path to the 20,000 Americans who fall ill with cancer every year? How many of our people have actually been cured of cancer through "nature"?
The whole time, the "alternative" crowd keeps pushing the narrative that stories of "miraculous recoveries" can't be shared with the public because pharmaceutical lobbies won't allow it. That is pure nonsense! We have excellent contacts with journalists and editors who would jump at the chance to publish such stories. But, unfortunately, they just don't exist.

Drew Allen said:slyseal28, you completely misunderstood me. I’m not pushing anyone anywhere. I am right here in this fight alongside you, and I know exactly what you—and everyone else dealing with illness or caring for someone who is—are going through. All I wanted to say was that if your doctors tell you (and let’s hope it never comes to that) that it’s actually NOT all over yet and that you need to keep fighting, then take that to heart. If you disagree with me, I’m sorry. 🤷 Believe me, I’m not taking sides. My only goal is recovery; how we get there isn't what matters to me. I truly am sorry you took my words the wrong way.

But the *how* matters immensely when you're looking for a cure... and that’s precisely where the trouble lies. You can't just go to people who feel backed into a corner and say, "Look, if the doctors have written you off, just try a bunch of unverified stuff and I promise you'll be cured." Maybe that isn't exactly how you phrased it, but that is the kind of input we most often get from the "alternative medicine" crowd. And don't even get me started on those folks who disparage modern medicine with such vague, nonsensical claims—it's honestly terrifying.
I’m speaking to you primarily from the perspective of a wife watching her husband slowly, steadily slip away. What we deal with constantly is being bombarded with advice like: "Start using MMS," "Try Mattias Rath's vitamins," "Read that famous book by Lothar," and dozens of other unproven miracles... promising that success is guaranteed. They imply that because medicine doesn't have an immediate answer, they do. It puts us in this agonizing position where we start questioning every single step we’ve taken to fight for more time. Eventually, you find yourself spiraling: Should we have skipped the chemo or radiation? Is there really a conspiracy? Are greedy pharmaceutical companies withholding the real cure? I don't know if you see what I'm trying to convey... the fundamental, crushing problem is that there are diseases for which a cure simply does not exist yet.

The prognosis for my husband was one year. We are now entering our third year. The situation isn't great, and we aren't giving up. But we are fighting with conventional medicine. If we had thrown in the towel, he would have passed away within three months, because his tumor is so aggressive that no herb or vitamin could ever hope to stop it.
My husband still possesses an endless will and the strength to keep going. He is currently in the hospital, having undergone his second surgery (thoracic) this past Wednesday. He’s already back on his feet today and is itching to get home. Meanwhile, I am just trying to find some way to reach that damn cure (which, of course, isn't on any approved list) that might give him just a little more time.

I want to emphasize this once more: the hardest thing any patient has to face is the reality that for some illnesses, there truly is no cure, and everything boils down to simply extending life.

Drew Allen said:Let the others get worked up if they want to defend chemotherapy; I don't care. But if you want my most sincere advice, listen closely: if your doctor has already told you to walk away from it—because they've explicitly said it will only leave you in a much worse state than you are now, which clearly isn't what you want or need anyway—then listen to them. You already know firsthand how much chemo ravages people who are already physically depleted. We should all really sit down and collectively think about that reality. I’ll leave you with a link where you can read through forty pages of stories from people whom modern medicine simply gave up on. Perhaps you'll find a bit of your own story reflected in there. http://www.svetbiljaka.com/Forums/vi...start=585.html I truly wish nothing but the best for you and your mother. I know some people might judge you, thinking you’re just trying to push them toward alternative paths because you have some ulterior motive, but honestly? Let them talk. Ultimately, the final word belongs to you and your family. You are the ones who have to live with the decisions made, so you should be the ones choosing which path to walk. Chemotherapy is certainly one option on the table, though in my opinion, it isn't necessarily the best one. Hopefully, we will eventually reach a day where doctors actually possess the tools to truly help us when dealing with cancer, but unfortunately, I find myself placing more of my faith elsewhere. 🤷

I'll quote one of the posts from your link: Anyone who decides to contribute to this thread should take a moment to look at the sheer volume of traffic here. The attendance is massive, and because of that, you carry a heavy moral weight on your shoulders. The people reading these posts are either fighting for their own lives or desperately searching for a lifeline for someone they love. About six months ago, I was incredibly vocal here—honestly, I went off on a bit of a rant—about how "incurable" cancer supposedly becomes after certain "alternative remedies" are tried. But things changed when my mother started following official medical protocols through AT&T. After just a few months of that, she was practically on the verge of being considered cured. She’s still undergoing treatment, and so far, everything is progressing exactly as it should, even though she had been all but written off by doctors previously. I felt a personal responsibility to come back, write this, and apologize to everyone currently in the trenches. As for her, the chemotherapy has yielded excellent results. We manage the side effects by sticking to freshly squeezed juices and herbal teas—focusing on boosting her immune system and improving her blood counts. There’s no doubt that vitamins play a role in helping the body recover during this fight, but it's most effective when you get them from fresh fruits and vegetables. To suggest that people should take massive, excessive doses of vitamin supplements is incredibly irresponsible and dangerous, especially when intense therapies have likely already compromised their liver and kidney function.

I should add this: it’s incredibly unfair to claim that conventional medicine doesn't yield results. The fundamental issue here in the States isn't the efficacy of the science, but rather the fact that new, cutting-edge medications are simply out of reach for most people. We have been pointing this out for quite some time—the systemic problem with drug formularies being completely opaque and confusing. You see a mountain of cheap generics sitting on the high-cost medication lists, while actual breakthroughs are sidelined. I’m not sure if you even realize that under our current legal framework, there isn't even a formal definition for what constitutes an "expensive drug." There are no clear, standardized criteria determining why one specific medication gets categorized as high-cost while another doesn't. Essentially, Medicare just makes its own arbitrary calls on what counts as expensive and what doesn't. Can you even begin to imagine how much room that leaves for corruption and backroom deals? Take Avastin, for example. It's currently sitting on the standard formulary instead of the high-cost list. Because of that classification, the cost of treatment falls entirely on the hospital's budget, which inevitably means the drug isn't accessible to every patient who needs it. Take a look at the link regarding this matter. Instead of trying to enforce strict order or obsessing over bureaucracy, the priority should be getting new medications added to the approved lists immediately. Things would be much better if we focused on that. Cancer mortality rates in this country are climbing because our hospitals simply can't keep up with the costs of treatment; Medicare is cutting corners on patient care and refusing to listen to medical experts. All of us here fighting cancer aren't skipping our medications because we’ve lost our minds or because we have nothing better to do. We need those damn drugs because we are sick. This isn't about whether those of us on the Health Forum are "pro-chemotherapy" while you on the Alternative Treatment Forum are "pro-alternative." Let's be realistic: cancer and other severe chronic illnesses unfortunately cannot be cured with just vitamins and herbs.
We also need to be honest about the fact that there are certain illnesses and nasty tumors for which an effective cure simply doesn't exist yet. That reality is one of the heaviest burdens any patient has to carry. The absolute last thing those people need is some "well-meaning advice" from strangers telling them to ditch conventional medicine in favor of herbalists and shamans.

I don't deny that there are specific supplements out there that can help bolster the immune system. However, all of that should only be done in close consultation with a physician.

Kenneth Wright3 said:My mother has kidney cancer with lung metastases. They removed her kidney, and she’s gone through two rounds of chemotherapy, but it hasn't helped. Now there are two growths right at the incision site that are also cancerous. Her doctor told her straight up that they’ll try one more cocktail of chemo, but he isn't exactly optimistic about it. She's currently on morphine patches. The surgery was back in September.
I think I realize what this implies, so I'm really just wondering how many people in a similar situation actually make it through.
And how can I help make this easier for her? I want to be by her side, but when I'm actually there seeing her suffer, part of me wishes I were miles away instead.

Which specific therapy are they using?