Posts by velvetgull9

Keith James812 said:Hey velvetgull9, you gotta read this... then you'll totally get why I'm freaking out! 😢

Man, just my luck, huh? I'll probably be one of the first ones there, only to have them tell me they didn't even get any guys in, or maybe there's way fewer dudes than women! 😁

Seriously though, it's the same vibe at my local Barnes & Noble, where they sell books bundled with newspapers—I think I actually own every single one they've released so far. 😉

Keith James812 said:WAIT! HOLD UP!! CANCEL THE WHOLE THING!!!

Chill out, babe. You're gonna be first in line anyway. And hey, you know what they say about being first... 😁 😁

James Lewis4 said:Total Photoshop job!!!!!!!

What do you mean fake? These are real people, man. For real. 😉

Herostratus said:I'm totally down to volunteer for the showcase.
Btw, velvetgull9, I had no clue we actually knew each other?!? 🙂)

You'd probably wanna check it out too, right? 😉

Maybe just a placebo effect, right? Once we're done there, we should totally swing by Uncle Sam's wife's place for coffee! ☕

And then after that, we can go register ourselves as some nonprofit called "Let 'em See."

Keith James812 said:Yeah, sure, but the issue is since he lied about that, those guys with the license plates would have to be... how should I put this... you know, totally hard...😳

How would you even pull that off? Don't look at me! 😁

That’s exactly my problem. Just be there at 4:45. 😉

Keith James812 said:😲

Then he basically told her she wasn't allowed to talk to me anymore and said he’d go deal with my husband himself... she just told him I don't even have a husband, and he was like, "Well, then I guess it's no wonder she's single."

Okay, look, here's the plan. I'm gonna make some calls and get things sorted, then after work this afternoon, you and I will head over there together. We'll pull up right in front of her house, and maybe all the neighbors from those streets can line up next to us, everyone holding their official documents and stuff, just so we can see what her husband has to say once he's faced with all the actual proof. 😁

Look, it is what it is. I wouldn't just say stuff for no reason, you know? Like, that 5-inch thing? Totally legit.

James Lewis4 said:Then shadowjackal88 or some other girl comes back and everything just goes right back to how it was.

Wait, so you're saying you have a problem with her friends? 🥳

Keith James812 said:you're such a wise woman, velvetgull9... so that's the fix! though, it might be a little awkward if she moves into my apartment, maybe those folks at the convent won't be too thrilled about it..

I guess you'll just have to start your own commune then... 😁 😁

Keith James812 said:I mean, there’s no gap there, since I figure if you just think about sex, it basically counts too 😁

Maybe you should just find yourself a nun or something? They usually cook great, and since they're all about that spiritual life, maybe they'll be pretty funny too? 🤔

Keith James812 said:Wait, why black cats? lol... even if I've come out as a lesbian, I'm still Catholic.. 🙄

Sex before marriage is still off the table, though things are way more complicated now since there isn't even marriage for lesbians... I noticed that issue before, but I never really sat down to think about it deeply.. which is definitely coming back to me now 😁

Ugh, listen, there is a MASSIVE gap between sex and just some random crush, okay? ... I guess Litra probably didn't mention that in his sermon, but trust an experienced cat on this one! 😉

dustyscout53, you should probably go read up on the French Foreign Legion. Things are getting pretty intense over there right now. 😉

Keith James812 said:looks don't even matter since we'd just end up having a Platonic connection anyway..

Wait, I just realized... why stop at Platonic though? lol 😕

Keith James812 said:The whole strategy thing... you know, like when someone catches your eye in passing and then looks back, or just holds the gaze? Well, I’ve been totally staring them down lately, but they didn't even blink. No peace signs, no winking, nothing... zero, zilch, nada.. 😢

My dream girl? Hmm... she’s gotta be funny... and it would be pretty great if she could cook.. yeah, just those two things.. looks don't really matter since we'd probably just end up having a totally platonic vibe anyway..

About that methodology, it seems pretty solid to me, so maybe you're just a total newbie and need more practice out there.

And as for the perfect girl, that part's easy. You're already a pro at jokes, so just start posting on some food forums and you'll be set. 😁

I mean, am I your bestie or what? 😁 😁

Keith James812 said:Yeah, dustyscout53 is basically a misogynistic lesbian... talk about a messy combo! 😁

So, we finally hit a big conclusion, I guess, but honestly, it doesn't even get us any closer to fixing your problem.
What kind of strategy have you actually tried so far to find candidates that isn't just totally flopping? 😁
Or, hey, let's try this instead: what would your absolute dream girl be like?
(Then we can just work our way through by process of elimination....)

Keith James812 said:Well, I guess dustyscout53 would be the perfect pick then.. 😁

Nah, actually. Lesbians pretty much love women in general. He only loves one person. Himself. And even then, maybe not all the time. 🙄

Keith James812 said:velvetgull9.. I don't know, maybe I'm just imagining things, but.. this all started when you gave me that look after asking if I had a girlfriend.. and now.. now you're bringing up mustaches..

Is there some kind of connection between those mustaches on your avatar and something you're trying to tell me?😁

Ugh, I'm so over having to explain to every flirtatious guy (and girl, for that matter!) that my avatar isn't even actually me... Guess I better go swap it out. 🙄 🙄
And as for lesbians, I'm totally into them. As long as they, uh, have curves, though. 😎

Keith James812 said:No way... I'd totally love to meet up with anyone, but I'm honestly terrible at spotting lesbians out in the wild.😕

Unknown, that could be a real struggle... maybe if they all rocked mustaches, huh?

So tell me, babe, how are you settling into your new life? You found yourself a girlfriend yet? I guess! 😉 😁