Posts by Zachary Howard2

My brother and I finally managed to talk Mom around to moving to the facility in Springfield. She actually took it surprisingly well—she even called the doctor herself to request the referral. I also had a long conversation with the professor today to make sure they keep her hospitalized until she’s officially admitted in Springfield (most likely this Friday); otherwise, they would have just discharged her tomorrow. On top of everything, she was vomiting twice again today. Does anyone happen to know what might be causing that? The professor claims this is just a standard part of the recovery process, though I did point out that it feels like things are actually regressing. I suppose he knows best, and God willing, he's right. I hope I don't sound terrible saying all this, but the reality is that I simply am not in a position to provide the level of care she needs to get back on her feet. I'm really hoping they can get her stabilized there. Once she's better, she'll want to head to a spa resort, and we’ll make sure that happens too.

Help,
Does anyone happen to have a connection at a wellness resort or a medical spa—doesn't matter which one—that includes a dedicated rehabilitation or hospital wing? My mom will likely be discharged from the hospital this week, so we are urgently looking for a facility where she can be transferred to help her get back on her feet.
Every single place I've called has a waiting list of at least two months.🙏

Amanda Nelson54 said:My uncle actually stayed at a facility in Springfield after his second stroke, and he really liked it. They have nice riverfront walks, and the medical care is surprisingly solid—which, let’s be honest, isn't exactly the standard for state-run nursing homes. Plus, it's not just filled with the very elderly. So, if you ask me, it might be worth looking into. If you're currently out of options, maybe consider moving your mom there temporarily while you hunt for a more permanent solution, like a specialized rehab center or a spa resort.

I know from experience that you can't just take medical leave or vacation time to care for your mother. When I was dealing with my dad, I exhausted every single diagnosis and excuse my doctor could possibly write down to get some time off. Even then, I could only stretch it to about 21 days, and that was all under my own name; I couldn't qualify for any leave specifically to care for him.

Best of luck!

If nothing else, my brother and I are going to sit down and have a serious talk with Mom. My biggest fear is that she'll interpret this as us trying to get rid of her, which might make her resist the move or refuse to settle in. Tomorrow, I'm also going to try to track down a professor I know. Since he's essentially the head of abdominal surgery, he likely has the right connections to pull some strings regarding placement—even if we end up having to drive her there ourselves.
It's heartbreaking, seeing her health decline like this.👎

rustyscout31 said:My mom is facing chemotherapy soon. She’s incredibly frail right now, and I’m genuinely terrified she won't be able to handle the toll it takes on her body. Looking through some of the advice here, I saw mentions of menthol candies and popcorn being helpful. Currently, she’s sipping on Aloe Vera, green tea, and native propolis, along with natural beet and carrot juice alongside her regular meals. Is this sufficient, or should we be looking into adding anything else to her regimen? 🤷

One more thing... my mother isn't exactly a "fighter." She never was. She has always struggled with depression and self-destructive tendencies. My sister and I are pouring everything we have—all our energy and love—into making sure she gets what she needs while balancing our own lives and families. She has surrendered herself to us so completely that she doesn't even track whether she's actually taken her medication. We tell her every single day that SHE needs to find that inner strength to heal, but it feels like she just doesn't have it in her. We haven't shared the full prognosis with her yet—that the metastases have spread and the surgeon mentioned she might only have a year left. We're terrified that knowing the truth would simply break her. Just like it's breaking me.😢

I am deeply attached to her; every day I spend by her side feels like a gift from God. I'm quite an emotional person, and watching her struggle with this illness and her physical weakness is devastating. The doctor's prognosis sent me into a spiral of despair, though since it's been 15 days since her surgery, and given everything I've read in these forums, I'm trying to take everything with a grain of salt...

Honey, please try not to dwell on the prognoses. Two years ago, my mother was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer, and they gave her a six-month window. Three weeks ago, she underwent surgery for terminal-stage cancer, and the doctor actually gave her another two to three years—which could easily turn into five or more, depending on her resilience. My mom has always dealt with depression, and her diagnosis came just eleven months after my father passed away suddenly. They were inseparable, and I honestly thought she would just give up and follow him, but that was when I realized just how much fight she truly has in her. It took constant support, reassurance, and a fair amount of pushing, but she is moving forward. Over these last two years, she’s traveled abroad, gone to the theater, attended concerts—she's lived. I hope that once she recovers from this surgery, she can get back to that lifestyle, even though this particular procedure was brutal (it lasted 12 hours, they had to remove half her abdomen, and she ended up with a colostomy bag...).
Just keep encouraging her, both you and your sister. Chemotherapy side effects are brutal. The key is finding things to bolster her immune system (native propolis, BioBran, Megamin if you can track it down, Brocolin—of course, don't give her everything at once; just pick what seems to agree with her). For my mom, nausea and loss of appetite were managed quite well just with basic menthol candies. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you all.👍

Mom finally showed a spark of life yesterday; I suppose her dose of self-pity finally wore off.
Dr. Smith finally made an appearance today and announced that Mom will be heading home in just a few days, regardless of how much mess she makes or her complete lack of mobility. He’s putting her on antibiotics and insisting she stays hydrated to clear things up. Yeah, right. Per her request, he’ll write a recommendation for a rehabilitation center, so we can wait until she's cleared for discharge. Naturally, I have to arrange all the transport myself. If nothing else, we might try the "pay upfront" option, so now I'm frantically searching for a facility that specializes in this specific type of illness and physical therapy. Does anyone happen to have a connection somewhere?
My aunt has a contact over in Springfield, but that's a geriatric ward, and honestly, I think it would send Mom into a total depressive spiral.
I am terrified of what happens when she actually gets home. I can only get four days of caregiver leave 😕, which—helloooo?—is nowhere near enough. And I certainly can't use my vacation time because the colleague covering my shift (I hold a management position) is getting married, and obviously, I can't screw him over... plus, neither of us can take time off at the exact same time.

I’m starting to fear we’re reaching the end of the road with my mother. They’ve started putting her in diapers because she’s lost bladder control, and she can barely even manage to eat—I brought her some homemade soup yesterday, but she just sort of poked at it aimlessly. Today, she called me sounding weaker than ever, complaining about a burning sensation when she urinates. They rushed her off for blood work to see if the tumor has spread any further (I’ll have to check on that once I get to the hospital). On top of all that, she looked jaundiced yesterday, with yellowing under her chin and eyes; I suspect her liver is slowly giving out, and the issues with her urine suggest her kidneys might be failing too. 👎
The doctor—the one who seems determined to discharge her as quickly as possible—is insisting she’s been in the hospital far too long. Tomorrow, my brother and I are sitting down with the specialist to figure out an urgent placement in a skilled nursing facility or a rehab center. There is absolutely no way she can come home in this condition; she wouldn't survive a single day.
The healthcare system here is a complete joke. My mom’s uncle was sent straight home from intensive care right after prostate surgery; he’s completely immobile, while his wife is left struggling around with a walker. Honestly, you don't even see this kind of mismanagement in places like Albania. 😠
I’m genuinely terrified to go to the hospital, because I’m scared of what state I’ll find her in.

cosmicsurfer7 said:Honey,
I’ve heard of plenty of people facing equally serious illnesses who didn't have any trouble getting care at the local wellness clinic, so please, stay firm and don't let them push you around! YOUR MOTHER HAS EVERY RIGHT TO THIS!!!

I’ll certainly make sure of that, provided the professor actually decides to show up at the hospital. On a brighter note, Mom managed to shuffle down the hallway a little bit today while leaning on my aunt and her friend, though my aunt tells me she's terrified of walking. I’m going to insist they move her to the rehab center so she doesn't end up stuck in bed; if she stays immobile, we're really in for it.

brightgardener8 said:Try to keep your cool, Amanda Miller69; you’re still pretty new to this. Eventually, you'll find yourself becoming immune to all this nonsense. Just ask anyone else on this board...
Don't waste your breath fighting windmills.

I'm trying. I just wish I had stumbled upon this forum when my mother first got sick. Back then, I was honestly too terrified to even look up the facts or process what was happening.

Of course, our esteemed professor decided to be a no-show again today. My brother keeps telling me not to bother with the other doctors, claiming they don't actually have any decision-making power anyway. So, here I am... just more waiting.😠

cosmicsurfer7 said:Dear Amanda Miller69,

1. You should head over to your gynecologist and have them write you a referral for sick leave, then have a general practitioner finalize it. Just tell them your ovaries are killing you and you can't even sit down without intense pain. General practice is required to open a claim based on a specialist's recommendation, since it's covered by Medicare. OR
2. Ask the professor to keep Mom in the hospital until she can be transferred to a rehabilitation center, which they could potentially arrange within two days. Patients currently admitted to the hospital usually get priority.

That’s how you could manage it!!!

Fingers crossed for you!

I think I’ll go with the second option. Mom has MRSA, so they aren't going to let her out until her system clears it; it's potentially lethal. Besides, they shouldn't be discharging an immobile patient to home care anyway, and my brother mentioned the professor told him Mom would likely be in the hospital for quite a while. I need to call Mom after 8:00 PM to see if the professor actually showed up at the hospital. If he did, I'll call him to figure out next steps or schedule a time to meet with him. It's funny how you don't truly realize what a complete mess our healthcare system is until you're personally stuck dealing with it.😠😠

So, some doctor—who didn't even bother introducing himself, by the way—told me today that my mom could potentially transition to home care to manage her surgical recovery. The catch? She’s still mostly immobile and incredibly weak. He suggested I just "have a chat" with the head professor tomorrow when they arrive. Brilliant. How exactly am I supposed to provide full-time care for someone who can barely move while simultaneously working a job where taking sick leave or vacation isn't even an option? The doctor mentioned they might include a recommendation for a rehabilitation center or a spa facility in the discharge papers, though apparently, that depends on availability and how long the waiting list is.
What am I even supposed to do in the meantime? I know I have no choice but to wait until tomorrow to talk to the professor, but the sheer panic of it all is starting to set in. Does anyone have any actual advice?

Sandra Evans13 said:Since you all were so kind as to offer your help, I’ll jump in with my own situation. My mother had surgery just a week ago. She was diagnosed with small intestine cancer (which is supposedly quite rare). It has already metastasized to her kidneys and liver. They had to perform a bypass on her small intestine so she can actually eat, and now chemotherapy is the next step. She’s lost about 45 pounds and is incredibly weak, so we’re honestly terrified of the chemo starting. The prognosis isn't good—it’s hard to even say this out loud—but the doctors are giving her a maximum of a year, even with treatment.
I wanted to ask if there are any supplements or remedies (outside of what the doctors prescribe) that might help ease the side effects of the chemotherapy?
I should mention that we don't live in Washington, D.C., but we can certainly make the trip if there is a specialist who could see her at a major hospital like Mayo Clinic. This is also the first time I’ve ever dealt with this disease personally; I have no direct experience beyond hearing stories from acquaintances, so I am feeling overwhelmed, confused, and utterly helpless.
Thank you in advance for any suggestions or support.

Regards,
If you're looking for someone at a top-tier facility, I highly recommend Dr. Majerović in abdominal surgery; he has clinic hours on Wednesdays from 12:00 to 3:00 PM. My own mother is dealing with advanced ovarian cancer that has already spread everywhere. She actually had an intestinal blockage and was within days of passing away. He performed a peritonealostomy (or something to that effect)—basically, they removed a significant portion of the small intestine, the appendix, the peritoneum, and several other things; it was a grueling 12-hour surgery. Mom had her operation 10 days ago, she's still hospitalized, has a stoma, and is slowly recovering. She says this procedure extended her life by maybe 3 or 4 years, since a full cure isn't possible. Honestly, don't get too hung up on the doctors' prognostications. When my mom was first diagnosed two years ago, her oncologist gave her six months, and thank God, she is still here with us.
As for alternative options, she could try native propolis (you can find it around $43 in pharmacies). I also read somewhere that eating popcorn can help alleviate chemo-induced nausea. For my mom, simple menthol candies worked wonders.
Wishing you the very best of luck.🙂

Nancy Hernandez43 said:I’m crossing my fingers for a speedy recovery—it's such a relief to hear there are no metastases! 🙏
Keeping her at home doesn't strike me as the most practical move right now. Palliative care? Is that even an option you can arrange? Have you considered taking some medical leave just so you can be by her side full-time?

I’ve never been much of an advice-giver... but hang in there. Thinking of you all.

I visited her yesterday, and thank God, she was almost acting like her old self again, though she still drifts off occasionally. She’s going to pull through. Once she's discharged from the hospital, I’ll look into taking some time off work, but we'll have to see what the doctors advise. The physician I spoke with yesterday mentioned that we’ll discuss the long-term recovery plan when the time is right. For now, the priority is just getting her back on her feet and making sure she stays out of bed. I can't help but feel a little anxious about what comes next.🙄

This is basically me after spending three days fighting a losing battle with my Comcast internet connection and cursing my luck.
My mom has been moved to a regular ward, but she’s completely out of it due to the prolonged anesthesia; she’s rambling about all sorts of things, trying to say something meaningful, but nothing quite makes sense.
Yesterday she was going on about some fish, and honestly, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I finally managed to catch the doctor today, who reassured me that this state is temporary. They ran a CT scan on her brain this past Monday just to rule out any metastases, and thank God, everything came back clear. Of course, how long this lasts and what we’ll do once she’s discharged is entirely dependent on her individual recovery. I'm considering a rehab facility or some kind of assisted living until she gets back on her feet... The problem is, it's just the two of us at home, and balancing a full-time job with her care is starting to feel overwhelming. I'm genuinely worried about how we're going to manage moving forward.🤷 Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I have to share this bizarre little coincidence with you all. My mom serves as the tenant representative for our apartment building, and yesterday, two gentlemen showed up looking for her while my aunt was home. My aunt told them she was currently in the hospital and wouldn't be back anytime soon. One of the men asked for her name, and once my aunt provided it, he looked at them and said, "Oh, I actually performed her surgery just yesterday." As it turns out, it was Dr. Miller; she lives in the building right next to ours, and they had stopped by because a pipe was leaking between our connected complexes.😂My aunt told him Mom was hovering somewhere between two and three days away from death, though my brother and I felt it was more like seven or eight. Her body is incredibly weak right now, but she keeps telling us she can see her own grit and determination—she truly believes in herself, insisting that recovery depends entirely on her own will. We’re pushing forward and staying optimistic; we don't really have any other choice. Honestly, hearing all of that yesterday just completely broke me, and I ended up sobbing on my boyfriend's shoulder like it was a rainy afternoon in Seattle.🙄

Well, I finally managed to track down Dr. Miller today. He told me Mom arrived around 11:30, and by then, the bowel obstruction had already started—contents were leaking into the stomach. He mentioned things have progressed quite rapidly, even affecting her bladder, so they performed every surgical intervention possible to stabilize her. He gave her a prognosis of maybe three to four years, which, honestly, feels like something to hold onto right now. The next few days are critical, though; her body is just so exhausted from fighting this, and they couldn't be as radical with the surgery as they might have wanted because she simply wouldn't have survived the procedure. Now we’re just in a waiting game, hoping for the best and praying she can maintain some quality of life for whatever time she has left. She’s currently in the ICU on life support, and they aren't letting us get anywhere near her. Perhaps it’s for the best, though—it might be easier if I don't have to see her hooked up to all those tubes and wires.
Does anyone here have experience with specific dietary requirements or how to manage a stoma? I know I read something about it on a forum a while back, but I really don't have the energy to go hunting through old threads right now...

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to drop in and share some incredible news: my mom’s cancer is actually operable. She’s still in surgery right now, but I managed to get a quick update from the anesthesiologist over the phone. It looks like she’ll have to deal with an ostomy bag moving forward, but honestly, that feels like a very small price to pay for her life. To be completely transparent, Dr. Majerović told me yesterday that we are looking at terminal stage cancer, and that this procedure is essentially about extending her life by maybe three years. But even that is a win in my book. He mentioned that a patient who had a much more complicated case than my mother has already been fully cured. I have to head back to see him tomorrow to go over the specifics of what was done and what our next steps look like. Sending so much love to all of you—I am just so incredibly happy right now.🙂

Kate Ramos40 said:I'm sorry,🤷 I really wanted to be helpful here.

Regardless, I appreciate you😘A good number of people from my company (T-Mobile US) reached out to me. I went ahead and sent an email to the entire firm—no shame in that—so I'm sure we'll have enough.🙂I just hope it works out.🙂

Kate Ramos40 said:Amanda Miller69, you absolutely have to look into this; I could really use the help. Honestly, props to you for staying so optimistic. 👍

I already asked, but unfortunately, it’s a no.🙄At this point, optimism is pretty much all I've got left.🙂

Kate Ramos40 said:Amanda Miller69:
Thank you so much. If you are already a donor and have your medical ID card, please head over to 3 Petrov Street. Just mention at the counter that this is specifically for Zdenka Košćec's surgery, which has been coordinated with the Mayo Clinic.
If you don't have an ID card, you'll need to go to the Mayo Clinic early tomorrow morning—around 7:30 AM—to see Dr. Plenković in transfusion medicine. She will draw your blood and determine your blood type right then and there. Make sure to mention again that it's for my mother's surgery (mentioned above). Once you have the confirmation, you can take it over to Petrov to donate. The surgery is scheduled for a week from today.
I am eternally grateful to you.

Amanda Miller69, I am B negative, so if there is any way to have blood sent from Miami, I would be more than happy to help out.

I'll check in with the folks at Petrov. I was at the Mayo Clinic today with my mom, seeing Professor Majerović and Dr. Kekez, who will be performing the surgery. They pointed out a young woman on the ward who has the exact same condition as my mother; she’s already had the procedure and looks and feels fantastic. The doctors walked us through all the possibilities. When I asked about those cases deemed inoperable, they explained there was only one woman, and even then, her CT scans were borderline (my mother's results are actually quite clear). He also noted that while the surgery is risky—out of eight people, two passed away due to complications (God forbid)—it lasts about 10 to 15 hours and involves removing the peritoneum (which, by the way, covers about 5 square meters—can you believe that?) along with portions of the organs within it. Somehow, hearing all of this actually calmed me down a bit. I have a feeling everything will turn out alright; I just need to get through the day itself. Please keep us in your thoughts.👍