Brenda Foster29 said:My dad passed away... 🙂 🙂 🙂 On Friday, August 22nd, at 3:30 in the morning, he just stopped breathing. It happened after four days without any food or water. This followed an eight-month battle with stomach cancer that had unfortunately metastasized to his liver. 😢 He’d been bedridden for three months.
May he rest in peace. For us, his family, it's going to take quite a while to adjust to the reality that he's gone and to process these incredibly difficult days. But we were there, right by his side through it all, and I suppose that’s the one small comfort we can hold onto. We tried everything, but it simply wasn't meant to be... 😢 😢 😢
We will choose to remember the good days—of which there were plenty—and keep the memory of him healthy and full of life.
Please accept my deepest condolences. May he rest in peace; he has moved on to a better place, free from all pain and suffering.
We’re finally seeing a bit of progress here; my father-in-law has actually started developing an appetite. Food has started smelling good to him again, and he won't stop talking about what he wants for lunch or dinner—even if he claims he isn't quite hungry yet. He polished off some broccoli soup and then insisted he could eat it every single day.😁. Besides that, he saw his therapist twice, and he spent two straight days just weeping. I suppose he needed to purge all that misery from his system, because he seems much more vibrant now; he’s even cracking jokes and walking the hallways with a lot more energy. He might need one more round of dialysis if things continue to improve like this, but honestly, he looks significantly better. The therapist spoke with his doctor, who confirmed that his condition wasn't exactly a minor matter, which was likely the turning point he needed to break through. Hopefully, the day will finally arrive soon where he can head home.
Lisa Ward52 said:It’s been exactly two years today since he passed. Not a single day goes by where I don't think about him.😢
It’s been 9 years since my dad passed, and 6 since my mom. Over time, you eventually find yourself left with just the beautiful memories, though I have to admit, as the anniversaries approach, those less pleasant ones tend to resurface for a bit.
Brenda Johnson13 said:Hello everyone, and my heart goes out to those who have lost their loved ones. I've been following this thread for quite a while now because I was diagnosed with breast cancer nearly three years ago. I went through chemotherapy and radiation, and so far, my results look good. However, it seems cancer just won't leave my family alone—the reason I’m reaching out here is because of my sister-in-law. We just found out she has ovarian cancer, stage IIIc. She’s already had surgery to remove her uterus and ovaries, and apparently, everything was cleared out well. Now, she’s facing oncological treatment. Oncology services in our local area are fairly limited (I know this from personal experience), so she has decided to seek treatment in Washington, D.C. Which hospital would you recommend? Any specific oncologists worth seeing? Also, does anyone know anything about newer therapies for ovarian cancer? I think I heard something about intraperitoneal chemotherapy.
I’d suggest the Mayo Clinic; my mother was treated there for the exact same illness and at the same stage. I can't recall the oncologist's name since it's been quite a few years, but overall, everything was handled very professionally. I don't know much about the latest therapies, though. Back when my mom was being treated, some of the "new" chemos didn't work for her at all; instead, they treated her with Taxol, which she actually responded well to.
He's already getting something similar at the hospital (I think it's called Pulmukan or something along those lines). I would love to get him a proper immunobuster, but honestly, neither I, nor my husband, nor my sister-in-law have the slightest clue what we're doing. Every time we try to navigate this, we just hit a brick wall instead of finding a way forward.
I honestly don't have any more advice to offer regarding what else you should be giving him. What you’re currently providing seems perfectly fine. I suspect the focus really needs to shift toward bolstering his mental health—essentially trying to lift his spirits. Now, for some people, that turns out to be an impossible mission. I don't know your father-in-law personally, so I have no idea what kind of approach might actually work to cheer him up. In my own father's case, talking things through with a hospital psychologist helped for a while. It’s just a lot to handle all at once. I'm truly sorry.
The issue is that everything we give him just doesn't sit right... I need something either with a neutral flavor or perhaps something specifically for immune support. We did manage to give him a little psychological boost, but every time one thing starts looking up, something else goes sideways, and we find ourselves right back at square one.
Things are proceeding exactly as expected over here—which is to say, nothing much has changed. The doctor sat me down the other day and explained that the surgery was purely palliative. The goal isn't a cure; it’s simply to allow my father-in-law to eat through his mouth rather than via a feeding tube, just to make the remainder of his life a bit more bearable. He also mentioned that with esophageal cancer, chemotherapy doesn't really elicit a response; at worst, it might just trigger further spreading, though the oncologist will make the final call on that. They removed about 40 lymph nodes, and roughly 80% of them came back positive. Given that he’s been doing this job for 28 years, the doctor remarked that in his experience, nobody in the family ever says anything particularly kind about these situations, and honestly, he’d much rather not be doing this anymore. Out of the 200 esophagus cases diagnosed annually, only about 40 even end up on the operating table, and of those, only 20 actually undergo surgery; the rest are just exploratory. My father-in-law is still on dialysis. His kidneys are struggling because of the antibiotics he was given for strep while in the hospital, and there was a scare where sepsis started to set in. On top of all that, I suggested to him that he was being neglected, and he snapped back that they *had* neglected him—that they would have just sent him home and stopped caring altogether—and if I’m being honest, I partially agree.
He’s managing to eat somewhat now, but he seems to reject everything I give him to boost his immunity; whether it’s Sanostol syrup, Native propolis, or juice made from beets, carrots, and apples... God forgive me, but I have a nagging feeling he’s making excuses. It likely just causes him heartburn or he finds the taste unpleasant, and since he’s depressed, he clearly has no desire to take anything that might actually make him feel better. 🙄
Does anyone have any advice on what else I might be able to give him to help strengthen his constitution?
Svekar ended up on hemodialysis; his urea and creatinine levels started spiking over the last two days (hitting 570, though I'm not sure what the normal range even is), so they rushed him to the Mayo Clinic today. Some young doctor—who was actually quite pleasant and talkative, by some miracle of God—explained that his kidney function was compromised by the antibiotics he was given for a hospital-acquired infection (finally identified as strep). Apparently, certain medications can take a toll on the kidneys after a while and trigger acute renal failure. He has to undergo dialysis for the next three days, after which they’ll re-run his labs. This whole situation has nothing to do with mental health; it's purely the result of negligence and poor management. That bacterial infection had been causing high fevers, too. They've cleared the infection now, but his kidneys are absolutely trashed. My sister-in-law said she’s bringing him home next week because she’s reached her limit, and then she plans to take him to the ER and move him to another hospital. Just when he finally started eating again and we managed to lift his spirits a little yesterday, these new problems crop up.
I am really kicking myself for sending him to Jordan. Why did I get involved instead of just letting nature take its course? Now, instead of things turning out better, everything has gone south.
His doctor is on duty tomorrow, so I’ll head in to see what he has to say about all of this.
Linda Patel21 said:Zachary Howard2, don't go getting ahead of yourself. I tend to do that quite often myself, even when I know deep down I did the best I could with the information I had at the time. I imagine you're in the same boat. Let us know what his doctor has to say today.
Well, the doctor finally made an appearance, and the verdict is that he might be able to head home soon. They ran some tests on his fluid and food intake, and everything seems to be functioning normally there. They stopped the Kabiven infusion, which turned out to be the culprit behind his fever. The coughing is just a result of him lying down constantly. As for the vomiting, it’s purely nerves—his stomach is reacting to his mental state; it's entirely psychological and tied to his depression.
I was just talking to my sister-in-law about a plan: first, we need to try and get him up and out of bed. Second, we have to convince him to actually take those immune supplements we brought for him. And third, I really want him to consider antidepressants. I am genuinely worried about how his mother-in-law is going to manage all of this once he’s back home, especially once the chemotherapy starts.
He has completely surrendered to the bed; honestly, if he could, he’d just let it all end right this second.
Angela Wright said:I mean, I honestly thought he was dealing with one of those doctors who acts like a priest—where his word is basically Holy Scripture...🙄 Look, I really can't stand this dark turn things have taken. 😢 Let’s all just try to hang in there until Monday when he finally gets back from vacation... because goodness knows, what a joy it is to deal with hospital stays during the holidays.🙂
Yeah, does any of this even make sense anymore? His digestion still isn't working, and he’s running a fever twice a day (around 100-102°F). They hit him with some Voltaren, he breaks into a sweat, and then he's fine for a bit. They keep insisting everything is perfectly fine, but how can that be? We aren't crazy.😲.
He was in tears yesterday; he just can't take it anymore. It absolutely breaks our hearts to watch him go through this.
I can't help but blame myself for pushing him to go to Jordan. I keep wondering if things would have gone more smoothly if we had stayed at the Mayo Clinic instead.
What’s the best way to mix in some Native propolis? My father-in-law finally started eating again and things are actually staying down (no vomiting), so I was wondering if we should try mixing the Native stuff into yogurt? I'm worried he might reject it because of the taste... honestly, sometimes I'd rather just 🙂 I mentioned it to my husband yesterday, and I’m planning to ask my father-in-law again today: is a nasty taste really worse than an extended stay in the hospital? He still has a low-grade fever (around 99°F), but I’m hoping that clears up soon so he can finally head home after being stuck here for a month and a half. That’s why getting this Native stuff into him is such a priority for me.
Angela Wright said:Maybe get him a TENS unit so he can passively work his muscles. Since his abdominal strength is weak, that reflux is becoming much more pronounced. They really should introduce physical therapy while he's at the hospital. A physiotherapist could even come directly to his ward to help him sit up and move. If he’s finally cleared of the infection, I honestly think discharging him home would be the best move. That transition would provide a much-needed psychological boost.
It feels like they are playing games with us regarding the bacteria he's carrying. The professor told me just the other day that it was urinary, but then today my father-in-law developed a fever, and the nurse who came by to give him a Voltaren injection claimed it wasn't urinary—yet they wouldn't say what it actually is. My sister-in-law is losing her mind because she suspects it isn't pneumococcus and that there isn't pneumonia, even though they previously said everything was fine. If nothing else, he managed to eat regular food today without vomiting. On top of that, they are hitting him with two different types of antibiotics, yet they insist on spraying him with native propolis in the nose. We've decided to just give it to him in his yogurt tomorrow on our own authority, since my sister-in-law argues it won't do him any more harm than these antibiotics already are.
Who else are we supposed to turn to for truthful and complete information? I have a feeling they've botched things through sheer negligence and are now just doing whatever they can to cover their tracks.🙂 I'm already starting to second-guess whether I pushed too hard to get my father-in-law into surgery so quickly.🙄
Linda Patel21 said:Zachary Howard2, I am honestly just relieved to see things finally starting to look up.
I might have jumped the gun a little too early. He started vomiting again, so they switched him back to liquid food yesterday. The attending doctor mentioned yesterday that there aren't any physical obstructions preventing solid food, rather he just needs to learn how to manage that gag reflex, since they had to remove the specific muscle that controls it during his surgery. It feels like every doctor I talk to gives me a different piece of information I haven't heard before. Both the professor and this doctor also insisted that he needs to walk every hour and sit up more often instead of just lying there, but he isn't cooperating. He claims his back hurts when he sits up. Well, of course it hurts when he hasn't moved from a lying position for ages.
At this point, it seems like the issue is purely psychological.
Neither my mother-in-law nor I have any ideas left on how to handle this.
Does anyone have any actual, sensible advice? We feel like we're just spinning our wheels here.
Linda Patel21 said:Fiz, how are things looking on your end?
I’d venture to say things are finally looking up. I had a chat with the doctor yesterday, and the outlook is improving. He also spoke with my father-in-law, advising him that he needs to keep moving by walking more often and sipping small amounts of water every hour, so he's strictly following that regimen now. Today, my father-in-law actually managed to eat something substantial: some grits with milk this morning, and then mashed potatoes and vegetables for lunch—all quite smooth and easy to digest. 👋 I’m hesitant to celebrate too early, but if he keeps this up (so far, no vomiting or diarrhea), we might finally be able to transition him back to home care.
They’ve definitely been messing with him for way too long now 🙄.
Oh, I almost forgot to ask—my mother-in-law remembered yesterday that she has a bottle in her fridge containing some sort of mixture of aloe vera, wine, honey, and who knows what else, which a woman gave to her about a month ago. I was digging through some old threads and I know someone mentioned this before, even shared a recipe, but I can't recall how long something like that actually stays good. If I remember correctly, it was supposed to help with immunity, appetite, and maybe even easing the side effects from chemo. Does anyone happen to remember the details so I don't have to go hunting for them again?
My father-in-law is still struggling with that damn muscle that's completely blocking his digestion. He’s going to try to "blow past" it today and through the weekend, and if that doesn't work, he’s promised he’ll undergo surgery on Monday to finally put this matter to rest. Fortunately, he’s a pretty tough guy and handles all of this with a certain stoicism, though he does have those moments where his mental state dips—thankfully, those phases pass. I’ve reached a point where I don't even dare get my hopes up anymore, because usually, once I start feeling optimistic, everything tends to go sideways.
As it turns out, it was a "false alarm." It wasn't pneumonia; he just ran a fever because they had to move his venous catheter from the right side to the left. His temperature dropped right away this afternoon, so he's doing okay for now. They are still keeping him on an IV with high-calorie nutrition to help him regain strength; if we relied solely on what he could eat by mouth, it would take far too long to see any progress. Honestly, I’m starting to dread celebrating even the small wins. Every single time it feels like we take one step forward and two steps back.
It’s honestly pretty disheartening—my father-in-law has come down with a fever of 100.4, so they rushed him over for chest X-rays just to make sure he hasn't developed pneumonia. My sister-in-law stayed behind at the hospital to wait for the results and try to catch the doctor so we can figure out our next move.
What really infuriates me, though, is that my sister-in-law found out from some neighbors back in the Midwest yesterday that right after his first gastroscopy back in March, the doctors wanted to send him straight to the Mayo Clinic for surgery via medical transport. Instead, he insisted on going home first to schedule everything, which dragged the whole process out for three agonizing months—as if he doesn't realize cancer isn't just a common cold. To make matters worse, the family kept us in the dark about everything, supposedly "so we wouldn't get stressed." Honestly, it's enough to make anyone lose their mind.🙂