Posts by Zachary Howard2

Does anyone know if it’s actually normal for my father-in-law to vomit every single time he eats? My student, who's currently in med school, mentioned that this is a common symptom following esophageal surgery, but honestly, this has been dragging on for far too long. Today, they had him on an IV antibiotic drip and ended up performing a transfusion with five units of blood. Is it possible he picked up some kind of bacterial infection? As for the doctor, well, getting any actual information out of them is like pulling teeth—they won't give me a straight answer to save their lives.

Things are going okay here, I suppose, though my father-in-law’s recovery is moving at a snail's pace. He had several bouts of vomiting, but thankfully, that seems to have finally quieted down his constant coughing.
Yesterday, the orderlies served him some food that was far too seasoned, which he ended up throwing right back up, leaving him sounding quite hoarse afterward.
I actually had to step in and demand that the nursing staff be more careful about what they feed him—it's honestly exhausting having to micromanage every single detail just to get basic competence. They eventually admitted they’d given him something a bit too heavy for his system.
I realize most patients in this wing are dealing with pulmonary issues, but there are a few others here recovering from esophageal surgery, and clearly, the kitchen isn't tailoring meals specifically for those needs.

Today, the doctor told my husband that my father-in-law should be eating small, frequent meals rather than sitting down to one large one (of course, they failed to mention this much earlier)🙂.
On top of that, they pulled his drain out way too early. Since the wound hadn't drained properly, they had to shove it back in while he was wide awake, essentially poking and prodding at an already agonizing wound.
It’s enough to drive anyone to the brink of madness.
Naturally, my father-in-law is beyond irritated; he's angry, exhausted, and just counting the minutes until he can leave this place.
The doctor hasn't shared any specifics regarding the test results or the next steps in the treatment plan, apparently assuming we’ll just figure it all out ourselves. 🙄.
All they’ll say is that the whole process is starting to drag on a bit.

Elizabeth Johnson13 said:Thanks for getting back to me so quickly. I’ve been trying to gather as many perspectives as possible... I spoke with Dr. Cepulic at the Mayo Clinic, Dr. Herman Haller at Johns Hopkins, and even consulted the gynecology department at Cleveland Clinic. They all seemed to be on the exact same page regarding the diagnosis and the suggested medications. As for my physical state, my abdomen, lymph nodes, and lungs all look clear—no free fluid detected. Still, I can't help but feel this creeping dread that I might just burn out in a few months. Regarding clinical trials... do you apply for those yourself while undergoing treatment, or is it something handled in coordination with the oncologists?
Thanks

First off, try not to spiral into that mindset about just "burning out." It won't help you right now. 😵

My mother’s situation was quite different because her diagnosis came relatively late (Stage III C), so her path always prioritized surgery followed by chemo (and again whenever a recurrence popped up). In her case, there was free fluid in the abdomen that doctors had to drain several times.

From what I recall, she didn't struggle with fevers, but it would probably be wise to have you checked out just to ensure there isn't an underlying infection or inflammation complicating things.
As Jane mentioned, sometimes it is actually more effective to wait until the primary targets have been cleared before moving forward with surgery.

I know I haven't provided much concrete guidance, but if you have any other questions, I am more than happy to share whatever insights I can from my experience looking after my mom.

John Foster38 As I was saying:
Zachary Howard2, I am genuinely relieved to hear that things have finally started looking up. It is honestly quite surreal when you think about it—that you actually had to step in and direct the doctors on how to handle his care. There is something deeply unsettling about the fact that a patient can be left entirely at the mercy of the system without someone stepping up to steer the ship. At this point, nothing else matters except his full recovery.🙂

As Jane pointed out, I’ve spent enough time navigating hospital corridors alongside my mother to know that a doctor's credentials don't mean a damn thing if they can't protect the life of someone close to them. If they lack the intuition to see exactly what needs to be done, then all those fancy titles are essentially worthless.

Linda Patel21 said:You put that very well. It really isn't the same without them. My father was such a vibrant person, too, but illness just completely leveled him in a matter of two months. I hate that we all have to endure this kind of thing, but as my friend always tells me—that's just life.

It’s hard to say which is worse: losing someone suddenly or watching them slowly fade away over two years, which is what happened with my mother. For the last week, I found myself praying to God to just take her so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore.
My dad passed before my mom, from a heart attack, and perhaps that was actually more humane; you're there one moment and gone the next, so you don't have to endure the long, drawn-out agony.
I still miss them, even though it's already been nine and six years.😢

Angela Wright said:Thank God. Now things are finally looking up. Is he eating okay?

Oh, he’s eating and drinking just fine; everything seems to be back to normal there.

My brother-in-law has been acting like a completely different person since yesterday—totally unrecognizable in both mood and demeanor. It’s as if he’s a stranger.
They ended up draining about half a liter of fluid from his lungs; apparently, it was such a mess that they had to suction it out because he simply couldn't cough it up himself. 😲
Thankfully, he’s breathing normally today, the pain has subsided, and he seems to be finally coming back to his senses.

Angela Wright said:Honestly, they should just give him something for the pain! They’re acting completely irrational.

His sister didn't even offer him anything until I finally snapped at her. She actually had the nerve to ask, "Do you guys need anything?" As if he's enjoying being in this much agony. 😠
My husband was visiting him this morning and mentioned he's feeling a bit better, mostly because they finally drained a massive amount of that secretion—it could have been fatal if I hadn't insisted they deal with it immediately 😠.
My husband spoke with the surgeon, who essentially gave him the standard "he's an older gentleman, so recovery takes longer" speech.
Fine, I get that. But then have the decency to manage his pain medication and sleep aids proactively. I shouldn't have to play nurse and demand basic comfort for him, especially when he’s in such a state that he doesn't even have the strength to advocate for himself.

It’s honestly exhausting to witness all this suffering. I was at the hospital today, and seeing my father-in-law in such a state is just heartbreaking; his condition looks terrible, and the pain he’s enduring is even worse. To make matters worse, he can't clear any of the congestion from his lungs, and the nurse just gave him this dismissive, "Well, you just have to cough it up yourself" attitude. The poor man can barely take a full breath without agony, let alone muster a productive cough. I eventually had to insist she call the doctor so they could perform a bronchoscopy today to clear it out. He hasn't slept in two nights; they even had to move him back to the ICU last night.
Are these levels of pain actually normal following such an intensive surgery? He’s grimacing with every single movement. I don't recall my own mother ever struggling this much after her procedures.
When I finally stepped out of his room, I just broke down. Seeing someone suffer like this hits me harder than I care to admit.
Damn this disease.

casualhound said:Hang in there, Zachary Howard2!
We're all rooting for you!

Much appreciated.

Angela Wright said:I’m not entirely sure if you caught my drift... basically, oncology treatment over at the Jordan facility is handled exclusively for lung issues by pulmonologists (which seems a bit odd to me), whereas all other diagnoses are treated at the main oncology department at Mayo Clinic. Since I’ve been making quite a few trips to that new green and white building lately, I can tell you that the outpatient clinic there is incomparable to what used to be down in the basement of the old main building. The atmosphere is actually quite pleasant—plenty of seating, some music playing... I don't know, I've always felt Mayo Clinic inspired more confidence; they have more doctors on staff, after all, being a major teaching hospital. But that's just my take, and obviously, it depends on how you would act if you had a connection somewhere else. It might be worth checking where treatment could start sooner, considering everyone's vacation schedules. If that contact at the Institute can fast-track the oncology treatment, that's definitely something to weigh. There simply isn't any time to waste.

Initially I wasn't, but now I am. I’m going wherever he can get better treatment, faster.
He’s still in the ICU right now; tomorrow he might move to a ward where he'll stay for at least another week or two, and then I'll take him straight to oncology immediately afterward.
I'm also planning to follow up with my contact at the Institute.
The hardest part is that the family is looking to me for miracles and constant reassurance that everything will be fine, as if the outcome rests on my shoulders. My husband is managing okay, but we have to carefully "package" the information for my mother to avoid an absolute meltdown of tears and drama. I’m mostly just dreading the moment my father gets home and starts up with it, even though I’ve already told her she absolutely cannot do that... otherwise, I'm in for another exhausting ordeal.🙄

Angela Wright said:Jordan is under the jurisdiction of Rib... and honestly, if you want my two cents on the Institute... well, just use your own judgment on how reliable that connection actually is when it comes to getting everything needed, right when it's needed, and done properly. I won't spell it out for you; just read between the lines.

I’m aware. I’ve been reading through the "old thread"—the first part of this discussion—and neither the Institute nor Jordan gets any meaningful mention there.
If there's a better option out there somewhere, then by all means, let's find it.
I understand that doctors have to detach themselves emotionally; that doesn't bother me. Even today, my doctor delivered the news with the same clinical detachment one might use for a weather report, but at least he's doing everything humanly possible for my father-in-law.
It seems I wouldn't have even bothered looking for an alternative if he hadn't reached a point where he couldn't even eat, let alone survive until his surgery at Oakwood. The doctor told me, and I saw it with my own eyes during dinner at my father-in-law's place.
My sister-in-law should be back in a week to stay with the parents, so hopefully, things will be a bit more manageable once he's discharged from the hospital.

I could also use some guidance regarding oncologists. Should I head over to the MD Anderson Cancer Center? I actually have a connection there through a former student who helped me out with my care at Mayo Clinic, though I haven't heard particularly glowing reviews about their specific oncology department. Alternatively, does Mayo Clinic even have a dedicated oncology wing where I should continue my treatment?

Things aren't looking great on our end. I met with his surgeon today, and the news was heavy—the disease has progressed to the second or third stage and spread to the lymph nodes. This means chemotherapy and intensive oncological treatment are now the next steps.
The surgical team had two choices: either install a gastrostomy tube or perform the procedure they eventually opted for, where they excised the affected area and reconstructed the stomach to function as an esophagus, just so he can actually eat on his own.
Predicting the outcome is impossible, according to the doctor; all we’ve really done is buy him some more time with a decent quality of life.
I told my mother-in-law, and she is absolutely devastated. I'm terrified of how they’ll handle all of this, especially once the chemo starts. My husband and I are 93 miles living quite a distance from them while we manage our jobs, so we’ll step in and help whenever we possibly can. His sister-in-law lives in Sweden; I'm not sure if she'll make the trip or not, but I did suggest she come over since she's a nurse (though she isn't working at the moment), and she'd be the best person to help care for Dad.
Dad likely doesn't know the full extent of it yet. We're going to let the doctor decide how much information to give him and when.
It looks like we're in for a fight. There's no other way around it.

Linda Patel21 said:Zachary Howard2, I am truly rooting for you. Please let us know how everything turns out.

Thank you.

I’ve received an update: the surgery went fine, no complications reported, and thankfully, nothing appears to have spread further. The only catch is that some lymph nodes were slightly enlarged. This could be due to localized inflammation, or it might indicate metastasis that hasn't migrated beyond the nodes themselves. We won't know for sure until the pathologist finishes their report in a day or two. That result will ultimately dictate whether chemotherapy is necessary.
For now, she'll be in the ICU for the next four or five days before being moved back to a regular hospital room.

We’re just waiting on the surgery tomorrow... they’ve already shaved him down, given him some of that bitter saline solution, and hooked him up to the IV... Honestly, seeing him like that broke my heart; I couldn't help the tears when I was leaving today. I'm just praying that everything goes smoothly tomorrow and that the results are positive—fingers crossed it hasn't spread further.

driftingsurfer14 said:Yes, I'm aware. I've been pestering her through both private messages and Angela Wright, so thanks for that. My father, unfortunately, didn't win his battle, but I truly hope everything turns out fine for your loved ones.

Please accept my condolences.😢

driftingsurfer14 said:Since you’re being so selfless and sharing everything you've learned with us here, I suppose that painful start with your mother was really just the beginning of gaining necessary experience. I truly believe that good karma comes back around, and hopefully, you won't have to face this again with your own loved ones.

Angela Wright helped all of us out by starting this thread in the first place. Dealing with this cursed disease means you end up gathering quite a bit of unwanted expertise. Personally, I could really use the "experience" I gained while caring for my mother, who passed away from ovarian cancer; at least now I feel somewhat prepared for what to expect with my mother-in-law. Back when it was my mom, I tended to bury my head in the sand—partly because I just didn't want to face the reality, hoping against hope that she would pull through. (I see myself doing the exact same thing with my husband right now).

Angela Wright said:Zachary Howard2, things will work out. You’ve got an incredible skill set to be proud of. Pulling off a miracle in such a short window is purely a testament to your damn experience...
I feel proud when I succeed, and if we manage to get through this together with everyone intact, I'll feel even more so 🙂
.
.. otherwise, I have to admit, it really just fuels my paranoid suspicions that everything that happened with my mom was actually just gathering experience for what's coming next... it's terrifying.🙂

Unfortunately, cancer has become the modern-day "plague." It feels like every other day I hear about someone I know getting sick. Even my father-in-law mentioned that two of his recent colleagues—who ran into each other at a hospital in Boise—have been diagnosed, along with one of their sons.

Anyway, my father-in-law is undergoing a round of follow-up tests just to ensure everything is current, and he’s heading into surgery on Monday... I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it goes smoothly and that there isn't any bad news waiting for us afterward.🙄

My father-in-law was admitted to the hospital yesterday. They’ve started running several tests that they couldn't get done back in Boise—things like an EKG, spirometry, and getting an anesthesiologist to weigh in. He’s currently undergoing some detoxing/cleansing today and tomorrow, so it looks like he’ll likely head into surgery by Thursday or Friday.
The hardest part right now is just this agonizing waiting game; wondering what they’re actually going to find once they open him up... but we're keeping our fingers crossed for the best outcome.