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Man, this has been eating away at me so much. I honestly thought I was the only one going through this, and I kept telling myself that what I was feeling just wasn't normal... but hearing you all say that it’s actually common makes such a huge weight lift off my shoulders. It’s such a relief to know I don't feel like such a total freak🙂
Aaron Morris56 said:Abuse. Just one thing after another.
Maybe it isn't technically "abuse" if you look at it through the lens of childhood curiosity and exploration, but honestly, I hated it from the very start and desperately wanted to stay away from it. The problem was, they were older, and they just knew how to manipulate me so easily...
If this is supposed to be viewed as nothing more than "childish play," then why did my own son lose his mind when he found his daughter in that exact same situation? It breaks my heart to think about what happened, and I feel such deep shame over all of it; it has left a lasting mark on my sex life... and here is how. During that "play," they used to force me to be completely still—no talking, no crying, no moving at all. And that is exactly how I am now during intimacy... it's like I'm just a spectator, letting my partner do whatever they want with me while I sit there unable to break free or even move my body.
I remember watching an Oprah segment where she discussed how many children who were abused by adults sometimes actually experienced moments of pleasure, which only led to an overwhelming sense of guilt because they felt like they actually enjoyed it...
In my opinion, this should absolutely never be brushed off as mere "exploration." We need to teach kids about sexuality in a way that is healthy, beautiful, and actually appropriate for their age.
I’m really sorry if this topic already exists somewhere else; please feel free to move it if that’s necessary.
I honestly don't even know how to start this thread, so I’ll just say it plainly: I am a survivor of sexual abuse involving minors. Back when I was in preschool, my nephew and niece, who were a few years older than me at the time, used to abuse me through what they called "games." Because I was so young and naive, I just went along with it, having absolutely no idea what was actually happening. It wasn't sexual intercourse in the adult sense, but we would strip naked, and they would touch my private areas and each other. My nephew would even press himself against me. This happened every single time we went over to their house for a visit. At first, I hated it, but eventually, it started feeling totally normal—just another part of the game—and later on, I even found it fun. I can't even remember when it finally stopped, mostly because I pushed the whole thing so deep down inside myself. To this day, I have a wonderful relationship with my nephew; in fact, we’re closer than most relatives. But none of this ever happened again, and we’ve never once spoken about it.
However, the consequences stayed with me. When I’m having sex now, I struggle to truly relax, and when it comes to reaching an orgasm, I can only achieve it through masturbation.
What actually prompted me to open this discussion are some recent events that have stirred up these memories, and even after all these years, they still sting and won't leave me alone.
You see, that same nephew of mine has a little girl who is preschool-aged, and my niece has a ten-year-old son. He recently caught them in a room touching each other... and of course, he completely lost it. Somehow, things were smoothed over with the excuse of, "Oh, just let it go, it's just kids being kids"?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
On top of that, a friend of mine mentioned during a casual conversation the other night how some older girls in her neighborhood used to touch her, which is how she learned to masturbate. She added that while it was definitely sexual abuse, since it happened when they were kids, she doesn't have any blocks in her sex life—in fact, she’s actually quite promiscuous.
After hearing all of this, I realized that I’m definitely not the only one who went through something like this.
So, I wanted to ask you all:...
1. Has anything like this happened to any of you?
2. Do you consider these incidents to be just "childish behavior"?
3. Why is this still such a taboo subject when it's so obvious that many children experience sexual encounters long before they even hit puberty?
4. How on earth do you protect your own child from something like this?!?!?!?!?!
5. Am I crazy for feeling so much shame about this and keeping it to myself, while my friend talks about it without a hint of embarrassment, as if it were the most natural thing in the world?
6. And finally, should I have an open conversation with my nephew about this, or should I just leave it where it has always been... buried deep within my soul?
...if you’re looking to kick the coffee habit, try swapping your morning cup for some green tea or maybe a chamomile blend instead. Even though tea still has a little caffeine in it, it’s generally much easier on your system than coffee. Just a heads-up, though—you might deal with some drowsiness, a bit of a funk, or just feeling totally drained during those first couple of days. But once you hit that seven-day mark, you'll feel like a whole new person, completely free from that coffee dependency.