Posts by Jason Vaughn482

fadedbear92 said:Exactly—(by the way, what's that "sketching the forum" bit in your signature supposed to mean?)

Jason Vaughn482

Seriously, please try to stop reading through all those side effects—I learned that the hard way during my own early struggles with depression and anxiety.😉

For the time being, I’ve managed to curb my habit of Googling every single symptom and potential illness—a compulsion that used to leave me feeling absolutely wretched—but I must admit, I haven't quite broken the cycle of checking side effects yet. It's a stubborn habit to kick, especially when you're already juggling concerns like high blood pressure and liver function issues.

restlesstrucker15 said:It is true that all medications carry some level of risk, but that doesn't mean they aren't beneficial when needed. 🙂
I would love to see someone try to walk through a severe case of pneumonia without any antibiotics.
Jason Vaughn482, please don't be alarmed by the side effects listed everywhere; they are standard. I could suggest you read the warning label on a simple bottle of Tylenol, though perhaps that isn't necessary either. 😁
In my estimation, things like fast food are actually far more detrimental to one's health than a single dose of a benzodiazepine.

Sent from my

I don't know, I've been relying on benzos and Tylenol for four years now... and this constant, gnawing fear of cancer is just exhausting.
Look, I am intimately familiar with the risks of morphine, Advil, and pretty much everything else on the pharmacy shelf; I will read those side effect warnings a hundred times over if it means getting through the day.

I just read this for the first time, and honestly, I feel a bit nauseous:

Using benzodiazepines for anything longer than a month—up to six months even—while following prescribed dosages has been linked to an elevated risk of developing ovarian cancer. [ 79 ] There have been fifteen separate epidemiological studies indicating that hypnotic drugs are associated with increased mortality rates, primarily driven by higher cancer death rates in humans. These carcinomas include brain, lung, intestinal, breast, and bladder cancers, among other neoplasms. It isn't just that benzodiazepines themselves are tied to an increased cancer risk; the studies also suggest that Z-drug agonists are connected to human cancer. Initially, reviewers at the FDA were actually hesitant to approve Z-drugs due to these very cancer concerns, yet they ultimately changed their minds and granted approval despite the red flags. The data clearly shows that subjects participating in trials involving hypnotic drugs faced a heightened risk of developing cancer. The review author concludes with a sobering warning: "The probability of cancer causality is significant enough that physicians and patients should now be cautioned that hypnotics may potentially place a patient at a greater risk for cancer."

wiredskipper45 said:I wouldn't even call what I have "sleepiness." It's more like someone poured industrial glue into my brain. I can't do anything. Can't concentrate, can't walk, can't even think straight. And yet, I can't fall asleep! That's the worst part—being that wiped out but sleep still won't come. When it gets like that, I just choke down 0.5 of a Xanax and finally pass out... man, I really am a hypochondriac. I'm practically vibrating with excitement waiting for my MRI. Yay. 😂

I’m in the exact same boat—unable to actually sleep despite feeling like I'm perpetually nodding off all day long. How on earth did you manage to get a referral for an MRI? My doctor won't even authorize a visit to a cardiologist, even though my blood pressure is through the roof.

wiredskipper45 said:Hey everyone. So, I’ve been dealing with BPD for about seven years now. For the last couple of years, my routine has just been 15 mg of Mirzaten before bed and taking Xanax whenever things get too much. Honestly, I’m functioning fine. My biggest struggle has always been insomnia, but the Mirzaten pretty much fixed that for me. Lately, though, I’ve been dealing with these physical symptoms that are slowly driving me insane—this sharp, stabbing pain on one side of my head that radiates down into my ear, constant exhaustion, and this daytime sleepiness so paralyzing that I actually start feeling nauseous and seeing black spots. My blood pressure stays steady at 110/70, but I still managed to pass out last week. Given how much of a hypochondriac I am, obviously, this was the perfect trigger for another anxiety spiral and all the chaos that comes with it. So, what do you guys think? Is this just Mirzaten side effects, some kind of psychosomatic stuff, or something else entirely? Luckily, I managed to badger my doctor into giving me referrals for a brain MRI; otherwise, my GP's standard response to everything is just: "When was the last time you saw your psychiatrist?" 🙂
But hey, maybe they have a point. I’m actually heading in next week—after more than a year of avoiding it! 👋

I deal with anxiety disorder myself, and for the last couple of years, I’ve also been taking Mirtazapine—either 15 mg or 7.5 mg occasionally at night—primarily because of insomnia, though I need Lamictal alongside it as well... unfortunately, it does absolutely nothing for the anxiety. For the anxiety, I use Xanax as needed, though lately I've cut my dose in half (we shall see how long that lasts), meaning three doses of 0.25 mg.
It is also incredibly frustrating to feel so profoundly sleepy and exhausted during the day; I suspect it might be a byproduct of the Mirtazapine combined with the Lamictal, but I truly cannot say for sure.
I also experienced a blackout one night—I suspect my blood pressure plummeted, as I have a history of hypotension.
However, I didn't go for an MRI or any diagnostic imaging; nobody referred me for anything, and that happened around Christmas. To be honest, I am a massive hypochondriac myself; in fact, that is practically my only real issue.

Has anyone here actually encountered or perhaps even experimented with this antidepressant, Devidon?
http://lijekovi-lijecenje.blogspot.c...razodonum.html

brighthawk0 said:Yeah. Honestly, my Xanax doesn't do anything for me lately. Same goes for Ativan or Klonopin... nothing really works anymore.

As for my situation, I find that Xanax still manages to provide some relief after four years on the clock, but the sleep aids—specifically things like Ambien—just aren't cutting it. When you layer other issues on top of that, getting any actual rest becomes an uphill battle.

Paul Newman5 As if I haven't heard this tired old song before. It’s the same predictable melody playing on a loop, isn't it? One would think that after all these years of watching the same patterns repeat themselves like a broken record in a dusty corner of a roadside diner, we might have learned something. But no, here we go again, wading through the same thick sludge of rhetoric that seems to define our modern discourse. It’s almost impressive, in a deeply exhausting sort of way, how consistently we manage to circle the drain of the same outdated arguments without ever actually making any forward momentum. It feels less like a conversation and more like a slow descent into a repetitive, soul-crushing cycle of nothingness.
Since I’m also prone to those late-night scavenging expeditions, I might just find myself drifting toward some pancakes. You aren't exactly close by, but let's be honest—when it comes to a stack of pancakes, any distance is worth the trek. I don't go that far for them personally, but I certainly find myself demolishing a box of cookies in much the exact same fashion.🤣

I’ve only ever attempted that recipe once, really—just a one-off experiment. But if there is any silver lining to my lack of culinary prowess, it’s that I refuse to keep a stash of sweets in the pantry. I strictly buy only what I intend to consume that very day, because frankly, nothing sweet ever survives the night in my house; it simply vanishes. And here is the most absurd part of the whole saga: I can barely make a decent pancake to save my life. They usually turn out to be quite a disappointment, yet somehow, against all odds, the ones I made tonight were absolutely flawless. 😁
It appears I am not alone in this nocturnal culinary struggle; there are clearly others among us who find themselves scavenging the kitchen long after the rest of the country has drifted into sleep.

Paul Newman5 said:Lucky you, Jason Vaughn482. Calixta worked wonders for me when I was taking Velafax, but I was eating everything in sight and my doctor pulled it. Now I miss it; my morning anxiety spiked—not a ton, but enough to make things unpleasant compared to how it felt with Calixt. I’ll call my doctor after Easter to see about a new anti-anxiety med for nighttime. Hopefully there's one out there that won't cause weight gain. You could try the 30mg dose; it’s decent for anxiety, though it made me gain weight and gave me bloating and constipation. But hey, if it works for you, go for it.

You know, I deal with the same constipation issues; I struggle with chronic constipation normally, and believe me, even if I were eating three servings of fiber a day, it wouldn't help much... yet here we are. I didn't take my /Calixt/ yesterday, and I can tell you right now, I am absolutely wired today. It really does have that numbing effect. I'm genuinely torn between bumping up to the 30mg dose or ditching it entirely. Fevarin is a solid option for nighttime, but it falls into that category of drugs that triggers those specific side effects for you... plus, it can wreak havoc on your stomach. At the end of the day, everything is purely subjective. I'm actually considering switching to it myself. See how complicated this gets? That 15mg of Calixta never actually touched my anxiety levels, but for me, the sedative effect was the holy grail. Now, however, the whole thing has fallen apart; my appetite is gone, it doesn't even help me sleep anymore, and I feel perpetually hungover. I'm completely lost. Then I see what that other doctor suggested—45mg of Calixta combined with 2.5mg of Zyprexa... at that point, you might as well just sleep through the entire day. It doesn't seem worth it to me, especially since I already sleep until 9 or 10 in the morning. Besides, I've seen people take Zyprexa and pack on as much as 60 pounds.
Oh, I nearly forgot to mention: I barely have any appetite during the day and eat very little, yet every single night I find myself wandering to the fridge. I’ll even whip up pancakes at midnight—something I could never dream of doing during the day because I simply lack the energy. I suspect Sanval is the culprit behind those late-night cravings.

Brandon Lopez6 said:i get it. i don't have any judgment either, but i also don't want just anyone poking around my medical records, seeing my diagnoses, or knowing exactly what meds i'm on. some things are private. it's the same way i wouldn't want everyone knowing i'm infertile. there's nothing shameful about it—it's just personal, plain and simple.

I couldn't agree more, and I say this with the added perspective of having gone through nursing school myself. I know quite a few hospital staff members personally—some doctors are even friends of mine—and I certainly don't hide the fact that I struggle with anxiety. Even when I show up completely shaken up to have my stitches removed, I'll be upfront and say, "Look, I'm anxious and I'm terrified, so I'd really prefer a senior surgeon handle this rather than a resident." There's nothing wrong with that honesty. But to have them scrolling through my file and seeing notes about psychotic elements? That would be incredibly uncomfortable for me. I don't suffer from hallucinations or any kind of mania... (though I did happen to read a definition of what psychosis actually entails the other day, so I had a general idea of what they were referring to)

Daniel Gomez10 said:It mostly comes down to how the specific antidepressant (or other psych meds) actually works in your system.
Blocking those H1 histamine receptors and the 5HT2C serotonin receptors is usually what triggers that extra hunger and weight gain.
With antidepressants, Mirtazapine and some of the older tricyclics are known for that.
As for the ones that help suppress appetite, I think Fluoxetine is pretty much the main one that does that significantly.

I’ve been taking Mirtazapine on and off for two years now—I’ve already shared my reasoning for doing so elsewhere, but I do intend to taper off eventually... For the most part, I initially gained about six or seven pounds, but lately, it doesn't seem to affect my appetite at all; in fact, I've lost my appetite entirely and have actually dropped weight...

Brandon Lopez6 said:That sucks 😢. You said it yourself, you guys look out for one another... at least you gave it a shot 🙂.

Honestly, that seems to be the standard operating procedure everywhere you go. It’s a systemic pattern. My own daughter ended up in the emergency room because she suffered a massive allergic reaction to some medication for shingles; as soon as one side of her face started swelling, we demanded attention, but they just insisted she wait until both sides were completely blown out before they'd finally admit her to the hospital for eight days. Of course, they wouldn't admit fault, so I should have seen that coming. That said, I don't hold any particular prejudice against mental health issues; my issue lies elsewhere. It deeply unsettles me how things that used to be strictly confidential are now so exposed—you can practically Google any specialist's diagnosis or history the moment they step out of line. And frankly, I have zero patience for people playing games or being shady.

I sat down with the director of psychiatry today to lay everything out regarding my diagnosis, and while she was perfectly polite, her response was incredibly telling. She insisted she couldn't touch the diagnosis because it’s strictly the doctor's clinical judgment, but if you read between the lines, the subtext was crystal clear: Medicare is making it impossible for them to prescribe certain antipsychotics for this specific condition. Apparently, if they label it as just an anxiety disorder, Medicare won't cut a check for anything—not even Seroquel. They practically have to manufacture psychotic elements in the paperwork just to get the insurance coverage approved. I told her straight up that I refused to accept a diagnosis I didn't agree with just to satisfy a billing requirement, but she just shrugged it off as if my identity wasn't being rewritten by a bureaucrat. I even went as far as saying I might head down to the Medicare offices myself to demand answers about why they require these fabricated diagnoses just to release medication, but she offered no defense; she just sat there with this maddening indifference. It’s infuriating. I pointed out that every specialist I've seen agrees with me, yet she just gave me a little shrug, as if this were all perfectly normal. It feels like these diagnoses used to be carefully guarded clinical truths, but now they've become nothing more than convenient labels tossed around to navigate the insurance maze. In the end, it feels like shouting into a void; all my efforts to fight for the truth are just disappearing into some database somewhere.

Brandon Lopez6 said:Just go to the department head and threaten to take the whole story to the AP. Usually, that's the only thing that scares them...

What’s your take on this? Honestly, my concern is that within psychiatry, people can play such dirty games; anyone can scribble down whatever diagnosis they feel like. I had originally imagined sitting down with the head physician so she could personally evaluate me... but you’ve given me a much more potent idea, though I’m still weighing whether it would actually hold water, especially given how sensitive these mental health diagnoses can be. Still, thank you for the suggestion—I'll certainly give it some serious thought. Of course, I wouldn't go to the media for their sake; it would be entirely for my own sanity. You know better than anyone how the public perceives us, which is exactly why it stung so much when she essentially spat on four years of my hard work and my clinical history—and that’s to say nothing of my colleagues, both of whom were on duty that day.
And you could always file a complaint with Medicare, reporting that they’re fabricating diagnoses just to pad their numbers for the Associated Press

restlesstrucker15 said:Look, a diagnosis can be changed; what really matters is what your GP puts in your file. You don't have to hand over those specific results to her if you don't want to.
Under U.S. law, no one can access your medical records without a court order, and even a nurse isn't permitted to go snooping through them.

However, if you happen to find yourself at the same hospital system, once any doctor types in your ID number, all your previous findings will pop up on their screen. But please, don't worry; everyone there is focused on treating the reason you walked through the door—the physical symptoms—and almost everyone will ask what medications you're taking. In my experience, nobody even bats an eye when I mention I'm on an antidepressant; all these professionals are trained to recognize if someone is experiencing psychosis.

Also, let's try not to label people as "crazy." This is something that could happen to any one of us.

On the bright side, it’s actually great that your psychologist works in the same hospital system, so she can advise you on how to handle things if you decide to seek counseling again. I'm sure there's a department head there who could arrange for a third specialist to examine you if needed.

And maybe try a different antidepressant. You just have to grit your teeth through two or three weeks of side effects. It isn't easy, but that's just how the process goes.

Sending love, fr

But the reality is, those private files don't really exist anymore; everything is digitized in a centralized system, and even my family doctor can see it all. Even if I return my specialist findings to the clinic, it's already logged.
Whenever I visit a cardiologist or a gastroenterologist, they just type in my name and the whole history is right there. I know this for a fact because they tell me directly—there's no ambiguity about it...
I actually considered reaching out to the Chief of Psychiatry to see if she could sit with me for a while to talk things through, but I realized that doctors tend to look out for their own. I went there hoping for some relief, but instead, I feel ten times worse than I did yesterday... just completely drained and exhausted. That fatigue is easily my biggest struggle, or perhaps the most punishing side effect of this anxiety.

Brandon Lopez6 said:It's because my doctor is a bit... well, scatterbrained 😁.
He hasn't even factored in my two new diagnoses (the main one is anxiety, but I also have a personality disorder on the chart), yet he keeps logging the old one. I always mean to bring it up, but then I totally blank on it.

Hold on a second—are we talking about your psychiatrist or your primary care physician? That distinction has always been a blurry line to me... honestly, I’m increasingly convinced that half these doctors don't even know how to properly assign a diagnosis; they just pick whatever fits their current mood or schedule. Personally, I know exactly what I'm dealing with because I live it every single day. For instance, I don't feel like I'm spiraling into true depression, even though that was on my chart previously. My provider always insisted there was no psychosis involved, and eventually, she realized on her own that my core issue is actually anxiety, so she updated my code to generalized anxiety, even while noting "depression in remission" underneath. If you ask me, the depression was never really the driver; perhaps it was just a byproduct of the anxiety—that heavy, draining sensation you get when you can't do everything you want to do, but it's hardly the clinical depression people imagine.

magdalena1967 said:Back when I first brought up how my psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar disorder solely based on my reaction to Lamictal, I was absolutely torn apart by certain people here. They went after me relentlessly, labeling our doctors as nothing more than charlatans and painting me as some kind of deceiver trying to mislead the rest of the community.
Even my own psychiatrist insists that she can't just prescribe an AP without also noting a psychotic episode.
But there are folks in this group who simply refuse to believe that, so I’ve learned it’s a losing battle to even try to explain myself. Besides, we aren't all lucky enough to have that kind of rapport with our doctors—where you can speak casually, send a quick text, or just drop in whenever things get heavy.

Exactly, you were within your rights... I didn't realize that at the time. The real headache is that the very same doctor who wrote that diagnosis during my ER visit refused to back down from it. She knew perfectly well why she documented it that way, but I'm stubborn enough to be considering seeing a different specialist just to challenge that finding, especially since she wouldn't budge on removing it, even though I never intended to accept the diagnosis in the first place.

Brandon Lopez6 said:Back then, I was dealing with intrusive thoughts—OCD triggered by months of being harassed by a landlord, which ended with me getting evicted and developing a massive phobia of being alone. Because of that, I got tagged with F33.3. Of course, I had no clue what that meant at the time, so I Googled it. What comes up? "F33.3 Recurrent depressive disorder, current episode severe with psychotic symptoms." Like, what the hell? I’ve never been depressed in my life (aside from those temporary winter blues), and I’ve definitely never been psychotic. I just had intrusive thoughts.

I don't even know what to say to you. It drives me absolutely insane when my referral still says F33.3, even though my actual diagnosis is F41 now (I’ve had OCD episodes before too). It’s so embarrassing to carry around referrals like that because not everyone needs to know I'm "crazy." Especially since I'm not that crazy, and honestly, I'm not even that far gone.

I don't think there's any way to get it deleted. And the worst part? I'm terrified it's going to haunt me later on, like when applying for jobs. Even though an employer technically shouldn't have access to that data, if they really wanted to dig, they could. Even the lady at the CVS pharmacy can see what meds I'm taking just by typing in my name and birthday, and I bet somewhere in that system, the diagnosis is listed too.

Exactly, she gave me the same thing! Can you believe it? She saw me for the first time and was already ten steps ahead of me. But listen, it doesn't have to stay that way indefinitely. Once you visit your primary care physician, they should update your records with the correct diagnosis. Why would they keep labeling you as 33.3 when you're clearly 41 now?

It feels like I’m just spinning my wheels, repeating the exact same grievances here as I do with my doctor—this constant, gnawing fear regarding my health, coupled with an exhaustion so profound it feels bone-deep. It’s particularly brutal lately because of this Calixte medication; it leaves me in such a fog in the morning that I can barely find my footing. As for the antidepressants, I’ve cycled through nothing but this one, plus a brief stint on Zoloft and Coaxil, and you wouldn't believe how quickly they all pivot straight toward the Associated Press recommendations. Honestly, looking at the way things work, it’s hard not to feel like they’re all just chasing a commission check rather than actually helping us.

Brandon Lopez6 said:You can always just choose not to hand the report over to your primary care physician.

My doctor misdiagnosed me the exact same way, so I've got that heavy diagnosis stuck in my medical records too, and it bugs me just as much as it bugs you. Even two years later, I still get pissed off just thinking about it.

Oh, believe me, I didn't even want to take it. I handed the paperwork right back to her and demanded she wipe it from the system, but she refused. It’s truly staggering how they try to convince us we're more unstable than we actually are... honestly, when I confronted her, I found myself wondering: what exactly do they think makes my fears psychotic? If I have an elevated tumor marker and am required to undergo blood work and abdominal ultrasounds every six months, that isn't some irrational delusion—that's medical reality. I am absolutely livid right now. I even went looking for my regular physician, but she wasn't on duty, so I tracked down this other woman to fix the error, only to be told she "can't delete someone else's findings" and that it’s now permanently etched into the computer. My records used to show a 41.1, but today she entered this heavy-duty depressive disorder with psychotic features... you could tell she felt awkward about it, yet she stubbornly refused to clear it.
And what exactly is an F33.3 classification?