Posts by Zachary Mendoza2

What is this? Is this some kind of trolling thread?🙂
I must admit my preference for cello music. I would truly enjoy hearing a cello during the concert.

Alex Thomas6 said:
Of course, you can love whoever you want without them ever even finding out. No one is going to tell you that your feelings aren't real just because they aren't mutual.

That said, the guy who started this thread is clearly trying everything in his power to save his marriage. But a marriage requires two people. It’s useless to insist that it's "fine" just because he loves her and therefore "shouldn't let her go." Nobody is suggesting he should be jumping for joy because she's running off to some lover—the guy she's actually in love with—or that he should be satisfied knowing she's having sex with another guy. Of course not. But there's a massive difference between recognizing where you actually stand in a relationship and deciding whether or not that situation makes you happy. You're implying that we're talking about letting her do whatever she wants, but nobody actually suggested that.

You can love whoever you want, and it’s only human to want that person to love you back instead of chasing after someone else. But being a functional adult means facing reality and learning how to swim in it. Being "healthy" doesn't mean throwing yourself at someone's feet and turning yourself into a doormat, all while convinced that acting like a pushover will somehow make them love you or keep them around.

I did not say it was normal to "not let her go," but rather that it is normal to "not want to let her go." Besides, he isn't stopping her in any way, other than trying to win her back by acting like a rug and seeking advice from internet forums and hypnotists. The rest of your post? Zero out of ten.

Alex Thomas6 said:You're just messing with me, right? 😂

I'm not a "swinger type," nor am I moderate, let alone "radical"!

Love is an interaction. The fundamental requirement for it to survive is that love is reciprocated—that you love and are loved in return, rather than it being one-sided... so, like—as you put it—just you loving them and THAT is why it's normal 😲not to want to let that other person enjoy themselves with someone else.

I'm simply advocating for facing reality. And it's precisely in that refusal to face reality from Michael Bishop8 that I see something unhealthy or, as I put it, obsessive.

You claim he takes marriage seriously. No, quite the opposite—he doesn't take marriage seriously at all, and certainly not maturely. If he actually viewed it with maturity and seriousness, he would stand up for his own dignity and realize what the essential condition for any relationship to survive actually is.

Yes, I was teasing a little regarding the swinging.🙂 I agree with you that Michael Bishop8 refuses to face reality, but that is perfectly normal for people in love; I don't view it as unhealthy. Eventually, those people face reality, but it requires time and effort. Regarding the other point, I disagree; for me, love itself is a one-sided thing—it doesn't require reciprocity to exist. Relationships, however, are two-sided interactions and cannot survive if one side is missing. It is also normal for me, when in love, to want my partner all to myself, so these "let them go do whatever they want with whoever they want" variations seem strange to me. I am happy if my partner is happy, but not if her happiness comes from screwing someone else behind my back.

Alex Thomas6 said:I have to say, I think this is a bit insane.

Your wife fell for someone else, and your solution is to take her to a therapist to "un-love" him? Seriously? 😲 😲

And now you’re actually asking if hypnosis could work to make her lose those feelings?!!?? 😕 😕

I honestly can't believe this. You have some incredibly bizarre ideas here—so weird that anyone reading this is probably picturing you as the strange one, not your wife.

So, she fell for someone else. Okay... how long have you two been together? It sounds like it's been over 20 years... do you really think you're the only person in America dealing with a marriage falling apart after two decades? And where did this idea come from that her being in love is the actual "problem"? Any intense infatuation—especially when the passion is at its peak—is inherently problematic.

Her feelings for this other guy aren't some case of cosmic fate or destiny; they're a direct result of her being unsatisfied in the marriage and following an impulse to find something new.

And then there's this part—you don't want to let her just enjoy the "fun stuff," the dates and the sex with him, while the kids stay with the grandparents so she can be free to indulge. Sorry, but that doesn't sit right with me. That is completely twisted, unhealthy, and just plain crazy. What is wrong with you, man? You can't just control her like she's your pet poodle.

In my opinion, you are the one who needs some serious psychotherapy. The way you're reasoning through this is totally abnormal to me. I know you're going to claim you "just want to save the marriage"... but look at the toxic logic you're injecting into that goal ("I won't let her have sex with him"). The level of obsession here is wild!

If a person loves his wife, it is perfectly natural that he wouldn't want to "let her" enjoy sex with another man. Are you some kind of radical swinger? If a man takes love and marriage seriously, does that make him obsessed?