Anonymous said:
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That's a fair question about why I started using. Honestly, I don't even know myself. I started when I was 14—just a kid, naive, inexperienced, and with plenty of cash in my pocket. I was the perfect target for dealers, and an easy one at that. I've learned a lot, though, mostly just trying to claw my way out of it. I'm on 5mg of Heptanon; it's not much, I barely even feel it, I basically just take it to keep the withdrawal away. But the depression and this weird psychosis are killing me. It feels like constant panic attacks; I get this overwhelming sense of dread and I don't even know what I'm afraid of. It's such intense fear that it triggers actual panic, and it feels like it's driving me insane. That's why the doctor prescribed Prazin and Citalopram. On top of all these feelings, I've been carrying this guilt since childhood that fueled my depression, and the drugs definitely made everything worse. Back when I was on heroin, things were different—there was always that euphoria, I always felt good. With Heptanon, that's gone, and it feels like there's just a permanent void left in my head. I'm so confused. I want to go through rehab, but I feel too weak. I can't face the withdrawal; the agony is more than I can take. I feel like my brain might actually snap.
Look, you really need to get into a detox program as soon as possible; it's truly the most effective way to break free from addiction. If you stay on this path, you aren't going anywhere—you'll just end up spinning your wheels in circles forever. I had a dear friend who went through almost everything you just described, and while I don't know all the specifics, professional rehab was the only thing that actually worked for him.
I can tell you're completely burnt out and your mind is a total whirlwind of chaos right now, but I truly believe that with enough willpower and genuine effort, you can pull through this. Just keep in mind that life without heroin is going to be so much better and more fulfilling than this!
Good luck!