8 posts shown.
ironrider11 said:So, you're saying there are dominant women? Like, they run the show or just need to be in charge? If you feel inferior, then everyone around you is going to seem dominant regardless, right? And if you're actually accepting that—even if you hate it—then isn't that just you giving in to it? Maybe the people you're dealing with lately just don't click with you. Basically, you're stuck between needing to accept them and being unable to, which leads to you being pissed at yourself... maybe it's just a sign that it's time to go back to the old crowd, the ones who actually fit your personality?
I find dominance deeply unsettling when it's used to dictate how I should live my life.
It doesn't matter if it's men or women.
I can't stand people who act superior, behaving as if they have an inherent right to take charge. They seem to operate under the assumption that everyone is just waiting for someone to dominate them.
ruggedcobra12 said:Is it because they actually want to be leaders, or is it just that they were raised in those old-school, traditional households where they expect someone to just follow orders?
It isn't just about men being dominant. There are plenty of women who crave control or simply enjoy being in charge too.
I am not entirely sure what the root cause is. Perhaps I am just too passive, which makes it seem like everyone is trying to dominate me. Regardless, I don't accept it, and it truly bothers me.
Maybe the mindsets I've been encountering lately just aren't a good fit for me.
Matthew Castillo5 said:Alright, when it comes to romantic partnerships, it really just boils down to what those two people agree on. Personally, I’ve always leaned toward an equal partnership, but let's be real: some dynamics work perfectly fine even when one person takes the lead.
There certainly are. Many men desire to be the dominant partner, provided they understand how to carry that role. On the flip side, they also need to know when to step back and follow, which I suspect some can manage quite naturally.
Matthew Castillo5 said:I have a pretty simple philosophy when it comes to this: if someone earned their seat at the table through actual expertise and hard work, then yeah, sure, I’ll give them the respect they deserve. But if these so-called "authorities" only hold power because they climbed some corporate ladder or landed a title without actually knowing what they're doing, I’m going to make it my mission to ignore them.
Respect should be earned, not just handed out because of a job title.
I see your point, but I was actually thinking about authority within relationships and personal connections... not just in a professional setting.
It seems to me that many people have a deep desire to exert control over others.
I can handle it when someone offers advice or something similar, but this need for dominance is something I just can't wrap my head around.
I experience this quite frequently. It isn't necessarily about specific names or authors, but rather regarding buildings and structural things.
It is also difficult for me to identify topics that would serve our collective interest when it comes to building something together.
I suspect this happens because I often end up feeling inferior to others. Consequently, I feel pressured to act exactly how they want. There have been several instances where I tried to hold my ground, only to be labeled as argumentative or pushy, even though I usually just encounter people who are determined to force their own views on everyone else.
Perhaps that is why the author chooses to escape reality in such a manner?
Everyone claims she needs to respect authority, but I find myself wondering who came up with that rule and how?
How exactly should one respect authority? Where does that boundary begin, and more importantly, where does it end?
How does one go about learning accounting?
Where should I even begin?
Should I focus on payroll processing and everything related to that?
Yes, that exact question comes up quite frequently.
My social life was most active in my early twenties. Back when I was a full-time college student, there was always someone available for coffee or a night out. I lacked confidence back then, but I was social, and guys would approach me.
When I moved back home, things went downhill. I had no social circle here. Even if I did find people to hang out with, sometimes I think I only sought them out because I didn't want to be alone—which I admit is selfish. However, I never once avoided inviting a friend or acquaintance along because I was embarrassed by them. It's just how people are; if they see you grabbing coffee with a male friend, they immediately assume you're dating. It becomes exhausting having to constantly justify yourself to everyone.
I once had a friend where we’d go out for a bite to eat and hang out, but he was absolutely not my type. People kept making assumptions, though. Eventually, I lost my temper. In a moment of pure frustration, I snapped at him and said I would never be with someone like him. I felt guilty about it later, of course.
But eventually, it all becomes too much work. You distance yourself from everything to clear your head. Then your thirties arrive, and honestly, you don't socialize much anymore. You don't sit down for coffee with anyone.
Except for very rare occasions.
I am currently planning to enroll in a Spanish course to try and get active again and meet new people.
In psychology, they say we usually bond over shared interests. Once those interests are fulfilled or exhausted, people stop hanging out, unless there is a genuine connection that allows the friendship to evolve further.
As a single woman in her thirties, I can't expect someone who is married with children to dedicate their time to me. People have obligations, and I have obligations to myself as well.
Of course, it is nice to have companionship, but we aren't all in the same stage of life.
I always found a way to fit in anywhere, except when I was broke. If I didn't have money, I wouldn't go out. If the hangout involved doing something productive, I could manage.
I have never been wealthy. I grew up with very little, and I still live modestly. I worked seasonal jobs and drove old beaters, but people still liked me, including the wealthier crowd.
Naturally, during those seasonal work periods, I didn't have much time for a social life, but that was just how it was.
Things are different now. That lifestyle is gone. Even if I do decide to socialize, whether with younger or older people, I often find that our personalities just don't click. And I am perfectly fine with that.
Back home, for instance, no one really wanted to associate with me. Growing up in my hometown, I never felt like I was "good enough" for anyone. That was just the reality.
I accept it and move on.
Hi everyone, I wanted to start a discussion here. If this isn't quite the right spot for it, my apologies to the moderators for any necessary moves.
I couldn't find an existing thread on this, so I decided to create one.
How much optimism do you actually practice? How positive is your general outlook on life?
To be honest, I tend toward negativity. I struggle with deep-seated feelings of inferiority. I truly want to feel that sense of inner warmth and self-love that seems to elude me, and I want to build some actual confidence.
In your eyes, what does a positive approach to life actually look like?
Do you think this is something one can cultivate alone through sheer willpower, or is it better to seek professional help?
I appreciate any advice you can offer, and I’d value hearing your own perspectives on staying positive.
🙂