rowdypanther12 said:Just a suggestion, not a critique 😉 😁
Nah, the only actual "good intentions" I remember was back in middle school when one of my teachers tried to make us all say grace before eating lunch in the cafeteria... 😉 🙂
Lawrence Torres56 said:. I mean, look, church religion is all about evaluation, right? Like, if you don't know the specific verses or you skip communion or confirmation, you're basically out in the cold—kind of like how you can't get into certain clubs unless you've got enough social clout for those Sunday services...😉 whereas what they teach in public school is more about the basics of faith mixed with just being a decent human being. In elementary school, nobody is going to fail you just because you haven't memorized a prayer yet, but trust me, you'll get flagged in a heartbeat if you start acting like a jerk or swearing in class. Quinn:
I've been thinking about this more and more lately, and honestly? Religious ed stays in the school system only because there are parents who choose to send their kids there. It's not because the system itself is actually good. I find myself feeling way more frustrated with other parents than I do with the Vatican agreements, the teachers, the school boards, or the government agencies.
In my book, having religion in the school curriculum should be about introducing kids to spiritual concepts and teaching them how to treat the people around them with basic respect... and honestly, I wouldn't even mind if they touched on a bit of different faiths too. But church-based religion? That's almost exclusively about rote memorization of prayers and songs just to make sure the congregants look "devout" while they're inside the building, without any of it actually carrying over once they walk out the doors. I signed my little girl up for the school program, even though I'm still undecided about whether she'll attend the church sessions... First Communion and Confirmation aren't really my priority, especially since I've seen how much kids get pressured and bullied through faith in those settings.
Oh, yeah, but usually only leading up to big holidays like Easter or Christmas, or during those kid-focused blessings... Though, let's be real, it's pretty much the same as a regular service, except the priests smile at the kids a little more. Although, in some parishes, they just call the standard Sunday services "children's Mass" when all the kids getting their first communion or confirmation are required to show up just to collect their little trinkets and rewards...😁
So, you get an F for insulting a friend? Maybe that only applies if you're insulting someone else in the congregation. 🤔 Or is saying "you're going to hell because you don't believe" considered constructive criticism? 😛
@MajaMama, honestly, reading this makes me so happy—especially since it’s coming from someone who actually gets both sides of the fence. Every single time I’ve tried to speak up in the past, it ended with the teacher acting all offended or the other parents giving me those judgmental, blank stares (well, except for a few). Then my mother-in-law had the nerve to tell me *I* was the problem, claiming that speaking up at PTA meetings just undermines the teacher's authority. Like, excuse me? Since when does asking about the school cafeteria menu or checking if there’s an after-school coding club undermine anyone's authority? Asking "Hey, are we doing computer science electives this year?" isn't a rebellion, it's just being a parent. And regarding the parent reps over in Vicksburg, it was such a mess this year. At the end of the first meeting, the teacher basically singled out one mom and formally asked if she'd continue representing us, since she’s been such a "wonderful" advocate so far. Back in first grade, the teacher just appointed her on the spot without any actual voting or consensus. To this day, half the parents—myself included—don't even know who she is; we just know whose kid she belongs to. Man, I could go on with examples all day... I'm really not some angry smart-ass, either. Every time I've opened my mouth, I've been perfectly polite and respectful. But apparently, that still bothered the teacher (most of the other parents only chime in to kiss her butt), so I even got a little hint that I should just send my husband next time, "so he can get to know her better." It’s just so disappointing, I don't even know what to say...
It can definitely trigger a bit of paranoia, depending on how you look at it. Honestly, ever since that happened, I always make sure to grill my dog first—try to confuse her or something—before I trust her with any of my little secrets.
I remember this one time back when I was in preschool—the cloakroom was absolutely packed with kids—and out of nowhere, I just blurted out, "Mommy, please don't hit me." Honestly, I’ve never even raised a finger against her in my entire life. I felt like I was going to collapse right then and there... Now whenever I bring it up to her, she just gives me this little mischievous smirk, the little piglet... :-)
Totally. In smaller towns, people tend to take all those big religious displays way more seriously. Most of our kids spend their time hanging out in the library because the school packed both religious studies classes right in the middle of the day this year. My daughter actually has this weird gap between her 4th period and two other classes later on, and since we live just across the street from the school, she usually just heads home to grab a snack.
Last year, I heard about this little girl who tried to force someone to say grace before lunch at school, and then some kid in her class told her she was going straight to hell for it. My kid? She just shrugged and was basically like, "Whatever, let them talk..." :-P
If schools start teaching kids that faith and science are actually on the same team instead of fighting each other, I honestly think it might be time to look into homeschooling. ☕ It’s not that I’m close-minded or anything. I just have zero patience for blatant nonsense.
I’ve been venting about this for two years now—they actually scrapped the after-school computer club at our local elementary school. My daughter's teacher basically brushed me off, telling me it was a waste of time and that she wouldn't be falling behind anyway since they start regular tech classes in fifth grade. Most of the parents I talk to at soccer practice totally agree with me; it feels like a huge step backward. My girl is only in fourth grade right now, and I know some kids in her class don't even have a computer at home, or if they do, their parents won't let them touch it because they think screens are "bad" or the kids are too young. It just doesn't sit right with me.
Leah says: Honestly, who knows? We'll just have to wait until it actually becomes an issue for us.
I was chatting with a mom yesterday, and she mentioned there’s this idea floating around to cut after-school programs for third graders (right now, they only offer them for the first three grades). Apparently, some schools in New York City have already scaled back to just the first two grades, and the plan is to roll that change out across the entire country. 😲
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Yeah, the real kicker is the funding. There's been talk about phasing out those third-grade programs for a while now, and they're slowly being phased out one by one. It’s happening school by school—every year, fewer and fewer institutions are offering that third-year option. My kid's school still has it, but at my little one's school, they only cover the first two years. They're huge campuses, and frankly, I doubt they even have the resources to sustain a program for third graders.
Then again, it's nearly impossible to predict what a kid will be like by the third grade when they're still just a first grader. Maybe they'll be able to handle staying for just a few hours—though personally, I can't wrap my head around that, but hey, who knows. Back in our day, we all lived with keys around our necks, left home alone constantly, and stayed that way for ages. I even remember wandering outside solo while my parents were out. If I had to leave my little girl home alone for a few hours today, I’d lose my mind. I think it would hit her pretty hard, too.
What do you mean "bad funding"? At our local elementary school, the monthly fee for after-school care is over $167, if I recall correctly, maybe around $190. I honestly think that covers the cost of a decent meal and having a teacher on duty quite well.
Hey Berry, come on—you aren't seriously questioning the teacher's ability to stay organized, right? She’s got everything under control. 😉 Btw, we don't even have a class treasurer here.
But look, I don't want to sound like I'm just bashing the school board... this actually reminded me of something that happened at the end of last school year. My daughter came home one day with this little note that basically said: "Dear parents, we decided everyone should chip in $20 so we can get the teacher a year-end gift. The kids can give their money to Isaac in our class, who will then hand it over to Penny in third grade, who'll be collecting it all for the gift." There was no signature, no explanation of who actually made this decision, or how the adults' money would even reach the right hands... Honestly, they deserved to be called out for being so reckless and unprofessional. 🤷
"Parental gold" should include things like school activities too. Honestly, who was she even supposed to ask instead of the teacher? A parent? Would the teacher have lost her job if she’d just been polite and said, "I'm not sure, let me look into that," or "I'll check on it"? She could've just mentioned that parents come in all varieties and maybe someone was being a bit overzealous. Instead, she basically insulted us by implying we "trust our kids too much." Give me a break. It’s like she thinks she’s running a Munchausen syndrome clinic rather than a second-grade classroom.
Personally, like I’ve said before, these little things don't really get under my skin, even if I do have an opinion on them. I have my own way of handling stuff, and my kid is going to be just fine—she'll just learn a little life lesson along the way about how to deal with people like that. But man, it was awkward watching those other moms try to bridge the gap and end up looking totally ridiculous.
And if her questions had actually been about her actual teaching duties, people would have immediately jumped down her throat, calling it meddling or acting like a know-it-all.
None of these parents actually attacked the teacher or did anything wrong just by asking why things are handled a certain way. That’s my whole point: honestly, the second you ask a question, people immediately label you as being "difficult" or negative toward them.
All this talk about "parent-teacher partnership" is basically just empty slogans. In reality, all they expect from parents is for us to sit there, nod our heads, listen without questioning anything, and write checks.
Kudos to the ones who actually stand their ground...
Dana Roberts4 said:Now this is getting interesting. Hard to wrap my head around, though. Any chance you could give me an example? Like, what exactly are parents asking that triggers this condescending response from the teacher?
Here’s a fresh one for you: I heard about this mom at a PTA meeting asking why the lunch monitors were being so hard on kids who didn't finish their whole meal in the cafeteria. (I actually chimed in too—told her she should just offer to eat the leftovers herself if the monitor was so worried!) The response? A sarcastic little smirk and a comment about how we all just trust our kids way too much.
Then there was that whole thing with the after-school clubs. They organized them by classroom, right? Like, class 2A had art, 2B had drama, 2C had dance, and so on. The kids could technically switch to another class if they liked a different activity better. But a ton of them just stuck with their own class even when they weren't into the activities at all. They're still little, so they tend to cling to what's familiar. And the official answer from the school? "That’s just how we set it up; it won't hurt them to try something they aren't crazy about." Seriously? What a joke. (Luckily, my kid ended up liking whatever her class picked, but I still don't think that's right...)
amberskipper3 said:I am 100% with you on this, and it honestly breaks my heart that so many young parents feel the exact opposite: they openly disrespect teachers, instructors, and childcare providers, treating them like they're some lower class of people who don't actually do anything useful. And then, in the same breath, they expect those very same people to educate, raise, guide, and protect their children... The hypocrisy is unreal.
That just isn't the reality here. The real issue is that any parenting question or any critique regarding what educators do is treated like a personal attack. Then you get these people jumping in, acting all offended about how much "respect" teachers deserve.
On my daughter's school portal, the principal posted this little "masterpiece" to kick off the new school year. She kept going on and on about the "partnership" between parents and school staff, calling for better communication and cooperation... But it turns out the only kind of "cooperation" she actually wants is for everyone to clap along. When the teacher mentioned we should probably chip in to pay for classroom supplies because the district budget is dry, everyone suddenly went silent. Basically, if you aren't offering nothing but endless praise and bowing down to authority, you're unwelcome. Any actual questions usually get met with a condescending tone, like they're talking to a bunch of toddlers.
wanderingbadger44 said:What a fantastic post! I’d say you’re a wise and kind soul if I could just forget that you were the one responsible for that nasty comment—you know, the one about "poor little teachers... boohoo..."—that prompted me to speak up here in the first place.
Try reading your own post again, but swap the roles of the parent and the teacher. You'll quickly see that your logic holds up even then.
And one more thing: for so many kids, school is the only stable foundation they have in their lives.
Teachers aren't retail clerks or service workers where the mantra "the customer is always right" applies. But if things aren't going smoothly, they didn't earn their degrees through a game of chance; they aren't too dim-witted to use diplomacy when necessary, or to pivot when it makes sense. If parents want to take center stage in their children's education, let them.
My "boo hoo" remark was aimed—and you're smart enough to catch this—at those specific types of educators who are constantly whining against everything. You know the ones: they're always right, and everyone else is at fault—parents, kids, the whole American school system... If this thread were about any other profession, even mine, I'd be saying the exact same thing about "poor little cashiers, small business owners, chimney sweeps..." you name it.
I totally agree with you that school is often the only safe haven for many kids (man, there are just too many of them... 😢 ), which honestly just makes your role even more sensitive and vital. That’s why you shouldn't be shielding the folks in your profession who provide the same chaotic environment at school that these kids might already be dealing with at home. I went through my own schooling, I've got plenty of teachers in my family, and now it's my little sibling's turn to head to class. I'm not naive; I know there are tons of wonderful, selfless educators who truly pour their hearts into their work. But there are also those who are the exact opposite of what they should be (and let's face it, that happens in every job). You probably know as well as I do that the bad apples always stand out. It’s especially tough when a profession starts protecting its own just for the sake of looking good.
I know your field isn't one where the "client is always right." But they aren't always wrong, either. As usual, the truth is somewhere in the middle. 😉
ruggednomad5 said:You’re making a mountain out of a molehill...
Maybe I jumped into the wrong thread, but I had to say...
From the moment my kid hit first grade through the end of elementary school, I spent endless hours arguing with everyone... school administrators, doctors, specialists... just non-stop. In that first year, he treated his teacher like some preschool nanny. It drove her absolutely insane because the kid had zero concept of authority. He didn't get why he was forced to sit at a desk for 45 minutes straight when he was exhausted... there were constant battles on both sides. Honestly, I have no idea how he managed to stay so high-strung all the way through fifth grade...
I don't hold any grudges against the teachers or the grading... none at all. All those points they docked, whether they meant to or not? They actually ended up doing us a favor...
Every single time we talked to counselors, principals, or teachers, our approach was always cooperation. If they suggested a psychologist? We’d book an appointment. They suggested a specialist at Mayo Clinic for testing? We were there. We never made a scene with the kid over any of it. He learned early on that seeing a psychiatrist isn't some big, terrifying ordeal—you just sit down, have a civilized talk with the doctor, maybe get a candy bar out of it. He even got a clean bill of health. By high school, he realized that just because a teacher is an authority figure doesn't mean they're infallible, though he'd still play along just to keep the peace. Now, whenever he walks onto the school grounds, there isn't a faculty member who doesn't stop to say hello... just a friendly chat...
Regarding that point in the original post... the kid is only in fifth grade. He isn’t slow just because he has dyslexia. Stop treating it like some terminal illness. He’s going to face a thousand more injustices because of this condition later on...
And we're just supposed to act like that's totally fine and normal? 😕
crimsongull20 said:I bite my tongue too, obviously—usually with a smile. I just meant that the only time communicating with parents actually gets under my skin is when they're being completely inconsiderate toward one another.
Sadly, people are just wired this way, and honestly, it feels like it's getting worse. Sometimes I catch myself feeling bad about it, thinking we're just bringing it on ourselves. But then I sleep on it, clear my head, and realize it's just how things go. 🙂
That's exactly why I think we all need to become little diplomats within our own fields. We really need to lean into having more patience and empathy for people. I know, I know—it's tough, and nobody has the time for it. And look, there are definitely those types of people you'd love to just toss off a third-story balcony (I actually dealt with one of those this morning over coffee... 🙄 ). But most of the time, people aren't being mean on purpose. It's all just part of the job experience. 🙂
wanderingbadger44 said:😁 Because I truly love what I do. When I run into people like you, I just handle it with my kindest, most patient smile, much like how a teacher might gently guide a child through a lesson. And I'm still handing out straight A's. 😉
What exactly do you mean by "people like me"?
Look, putting aside how much you love to hear yourself talk and how "eloquent" you think you are, every single thing you write just screams contempt for parents. It’s honestly pretty sad to see someone with that attitude working in education. Actually, it’d be just as tragic if you worked in any field that requires talking to actual human beings. 😢
A huge part of being a professional is just realizing that everyone is different. People think differently, react differently, and have different levels of schooling... some people are a total breeze to work with, while others are tough, or slow to catch on, or just have strong opinions. Sure, it would be way easier if everyone just treated whatever service they were getting as gospel and nodded along like mindless drones. Luckily, at least in my line of work, we don't have many of those types. If we did, incompetent people who are just good at sucking up would be running the show, and everything would fall apart. Education is especially sensitive in that regard, in my opinion. A great educator can change a kid's life, but a bad one can cause real damage. And at the end of the day, parents are parents. Despite how much you try to play smart, most of them just love their kids and want what's best for them. Lots of people mess that up, but teachers mess up too. Parents are often the only ones who will actually question what's happening in a classroom and call out things that aren't good for the kids. Because let's face it—other teachers won't. They might gossip about a colleague's incompetence behind closed doors, but the second an outsider asks a question—even if it isn't criticism, just a genuine question—they all band together to defend one of their own. They don't seem to realize that by doing that, the actually talented and capable ones are just dragging down their own profession.
Shout out to the exceptions, though. Thank goodness there are some...
crimsongull20 said:Personally, I don't mind if a parent has questions, complaints, or praise, provided it's actually about their kid's progress or absences. Luckily, those extreme pests are rare enough that they don't need much mention.
BUT: When the first person in line realizes there are 15 other parents waiting behind them, yet decides to launch into a monologue about their weekend wedding trip—complete with a play-by-play of the catering and decor—and then pivots into a laundry list of grievances about work, inflation, the weather, and their recent knee MRI... all while barely asking about their child and forcing everyone else to stand there because there aren't enough chairs, despite subtle hints that people are waiting... yeah. In those moments, I'd love to just take my heavy desk organizer and give them a little tap on the head...
It's the exact same story in my field and a hundred others. I can roll my eyes internally all I want, but at the end of the day, those people are my livelihood. So, I just bite my tongue and move on.
wanderingbadger44 said:It’s a bit like when you point out a mistake to someone, show them exactly where they tripped up, and ask them to fix it, yet they just stare at you blankly—it really does leave you feeling like there's a disconnect in their understanding. Quinn:
We have to make sure the child understands what happened. ☕
That sounds like your personal take, though. I didn't say that, and honestly, I don't think anyone else in this thread did either.
Quinn:
For a teacher, you're either having trouble with reading comprehension or you're just pretending to have issues to suit your own agenda.🥳
Look, I couldn't care less about a grade in PE class, and frankly, whether you believe me or not doesn't change anything for me. As for the other subjects, it isn't that the grades don't matter, it's just that I want them to actually reflect what the student knows. Eventually, a student moves on from that teacher, and we all know how much weight those unearned grades carry in the long run; I just don't want that for my child.
See, being an educator involves so much more than just lecturing; it requires genuine partnership and communication, not just with the students, but with the parents too. It’s a two-way street, and you can't have one without the other. Teachers who miss that, or who expect parents to just be a silent audience that nods along to everything they say without question, clearly haven't thought about whether they actually want to handle that kind of dynamic.
I hear you. Though, you could have put it more simply: just playing favorites with the parents. 😉 It can actually be quite entertaining to watch.
If you feel like all the parents (or even just most of them—which is plenty 🤷 ) are just an unreasonable mob looking for handouts, and we’ve already agreed on this forum a million times that kids are basically a mirror of how they were raised, then why are you even working in the school system?