Posts by dustytrucker222

Aaron Parker31 said:My kids, who are 12 and 9, are both currently enrolled in music school. My oldest is finishing up 6th grade—it's a bit different here since middle school starts earlier than in a standard American elementary setup—and my youngest is in 3rd. Honestly, go for it. Just keep in mind that you won't see any real progress unless they actually practice at home. Consistency is everything, and they really need to stick with it for at least three years to see results...

Also, there is so much more to it than just learning an instrument. They pick up so many life skills along the way. We're talking about discipline through daily practice, focus during one-on-one lessons, learning how to dress professionally for recitals, and the whole experience of performing in front of an audience. They learn how to handle success, how to recover from mistakes on stage, how to behave like a pro, and even how to be a respectful member of an audience... It's invaluable. If you're on the fence, just sign them up!

Since it’s been quite some time since I first posted my question on this forum, I feel it’s only right to share how things have progressed.
1. We enrolled our child in violin, and it turned out to be a brilliant move. I’m not sure if they have perfect pitch, but the teacher is happy, and we are too. I wouldn't say the child is absolutely obsessed, but the daily progress is truly fascinating: their relationship with music, their self-confidence, their sense of order, their conscientiousness...
2. We treat the Juilliard School with the same level of commitment as any other school. Attendance is steady. We sit in on classes. We monitor their practice sessions to ensure they are maintaining a serious level of effort.
3. We aren't worried about whether they will pursue music in high school or college. Our goal wasn't to turn them into professional musicians.
4. It requires immense effort—from the child and certainly from us as parents (we're starting the younger one this fall, too). But the rewards are so significant that we have never once questioned our decision.
5. We have a fantastic teacher whom our child absolutely adores. She is nothing short of wonderful.

So, those are our impressions. Thank you all for the support and the advice.

ivo said:A lot of kids don't head off to high school after middle school. You could argue that’s a form of giving up, especially if they just let everything they learned—those skills, those interests—completely wither away.
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Exactly. And honestly, that’s what I want to dig into. Is it really a failure if they don't move on to high school? If they stop right there at the end of their middle school years?
If they aren't some kind of prodigy, maybe sixth grade is actually a decent stopping point for building basic competence. It's enough time to test the waters with music, set some standards, and develop an ear for it... isn't it? What does everyone here think?

Robespierre said:Just a little side story on this topic... My daughter, she's five. She has access to all sorts of gear—keyboards, guitars, woodwinds, percussion, you name it. When she was three, we sat down together, played, mixed, and recorded our first avant-garde single for CNN using two synthesizers. We didn't have the heart to pitch it to labels; we just made copies for ourselves. Even now, we still play around occasionally. She only mentioned school once, asking what it’s actually like and what they do there. She even started scribbling musical notation on staff paper without anyone ever showing her how or suggesting it. She just plays, which is the most important thing. If she decides she wants to go to music school, she'll decide when and claim an instrument for herself. If she doesn't, she won't. 🙂

That sounds wonderful, really. But I can't help but feel that parents should offer suggestions and provide a bit of a nudge. I mean, if you asked an eight-year-old if they wanted to start elementary school, I doubt everyone would say yes.
I worry that the realization of wanting to study music might come too late—maybe at eighteen. I know plenty of people, both older and younger colleagues, who tell me they truly regret that their parents didn't guide them more.
So, while I am definitely for a non-coercive approach, I'm also for a more proactive style of parenting. The line is thin, certainly, but it exists.
It was similar with swimming lessons. "Do you want to go, honey?" "No," naturally.
But once she finally started—trusting us to lead the way—she was absolutely thrilled. Now, she swims like a pro.
At least, that's how it works here in the States.

Kris said:Who actually told you that? Don't go misinterpreting things again—I'm not talking directly to you. I'm just expressing an opinion, you know? Get with the program.😬

You have to guide a child, not push them. Find their interests and nurture them. Otherwise, you end up with someone who tries everything but masters nothing. Children suffer long-term when parents let sick ambitions take over. And one more thing. A child lives their own life, not their mother's or father's. Theirs.

So, we all agree with Kris regarding finding those interests and nurturing them. It's true that forcing things without any basis can be completely counterproductive. From what I've read in our posts, it seems like this point has been understood well enough.
But then, what was that comment about ambitions involving the vomiting icon??? Wasn't that a bit much? Especially since there was no mention of forced pressure or "sick ambitions" anywhere. In fact, it felt out of place.😲 😲
It's definitely unclear what that remark was even referring to. Who wouldn't want children to just be children?

dustytrucker222 said:I’m completely clueless when it comes to music... I don't know the first thing about theory or any of that stuff. But I’d love to understand more, if only because my kids might show an interest.
What does it usually cost to start out at a local music school? 😁

$40 It's roughly that much per month for two hours of ear training and two private lessons. Honestly, most people would agree that's pretty cheap. 😍
Don't just wait around, though. Don't wait for your kid to walk through the door and say, "Hey Mom, I think I want to take music lessons." You have to spark that interest yourself. 😉

That's just my two cents...

The whole point is that kids should just be kids. They need the space to explore and actually enjoy the things they love.
From what I see with 5, 6, or 7-year-olds taking music lessons, they all seem to genuinely love it. It isn't about repetitive drilling—it’s about playing music.
That’s why I’d gladly provide that for my own child, even if it requires a massive sacrifice of time and energy after coming home exhausted from work.
And honestly, it’s not even about ambition. I couldn't care less if my kid ends up playing for the New York Philharmonic or winning trophies at competitions. It wouldn't matter to me if a teacher told me they had the talent for it.

So why on earth would anyone think music lessons for children are some kind of burden?

So, elderberry blossoms are finally in bloom. Does anyone have a solid recipe for making the juice or syrup? Also, is there any way to dial back the sugar content to something a bit more reasonable?

Krushka said:Let them pick their own instrument first. Once they have an idea, go talk to people who actually play it. Find out which local music academies have the best reputation and which specific teachers are worth the tuition.
Starting music lessons usually lines up pretty closely with when they start elementary school—just add or subtract a year depending on the kid.
And remember, just because a school is famous doesn't mean it's actually the best choice. 👋

Anyway, thanks everyone for the helpful advice!🙏 👍
As for picking the instrument, I'm not sure if that's even a major factor for a child. At five or six years old, they don't really care; they barely know what an instrument even is. So, what actually matters? Maybe the parents' interests? For instance, I’ve always felt a stronger pull toward the violin than the piano (plus, you can usually rent a violin from the school, whereas a piano is a huge investment).
Does anyone know if there's any truth to the idea that the violin is significantly harder for little kids to master?

One more thing: I truly believe that finding a great teacher is way more important than finding a prestigious academy.

Honestly, what I want most is for my kid to actually fall in love with music. I want them to find joy in just listening first—and if they end up picking up an instrument? Well, even better. Maybe I'm just projecting my own missed opportunities onto them, but it feels vital to truly understand and appreciate music. It’s easy enough to force a child to sit down and practice, isn't it? But how do you actually instill a genuine passion? That seems to be the hardest part of all.

I think I’m actually going to take a step back and follow the rules here for a bit. I did something similar once with a principal at my kid's elementary school before we officially enrolled our oldest. Thanks for the advice!

To's the thing, our closest option is actually the St. Joseph's High School satellite campus out in the suburban neighborhood. We’ve heard some good things about Eli Manning, but there is absolutely no way we’re driving him all the way to the Mill district. It's just too far. As for St. Joseph's, honestly, we've heard conflicting reports. Word on the street is that they've actually improved quite a bit lately.
We're also considering violin lessons... she's hit the five-year mark now and, frankly, she's got real talent.

Would anyone be open to sharing their stories regarding their little ones and music school? I’m curious about how you handled picking an instrument, what your experience was like with the teachers and the school itself, all of that. At what age did you decide to start? Every single perspective helps!